Solstice-Mania Sweeping the Region:
A Wandering-Inn fanfiction by MidniteLulz

The silence on the floodplains around Liscor was not broken by screams of agony, nor was it disturbed by the hideous cracking of bones, or by exultant shouts of victory.

The various wild creatures pensively crawled along the hills, grateful for a quiet moment, which had become a precious commodity in recent times. A goblin quickly dodge-rolled from one small bush into another, before furtively looking around.

 Just as they were about to dart to the next bush, a scraping sound froze them in the tracks, a sound such as a spoon might make drawn against a frying pan. The goblin spun in horror, to find that it was nothing more than one of those murderous moving boulders. With trepidition, they spared a glance out of cover in the direction of the squat building on the top of the hill in the distance.

 A small, cozy, wooden building, it resembled nothing more than an inn, with the exception of tall spotlight towers fringing it on all sides, and an open-concept roof. A sign declared this building "The Thundering Inn". The goblin watched until it was sure nothing was moving around the Inn, or running full-speed from its doors.

As a chair came careening from the window, the goblin howled in fear and fled at top speed away from the source of the disturbance.



Inside the Inn, one finds the standard equipment. Wooden tables dotted the edges of the space. Stadium seating packed tight on the walls. A bar sits in the corner, stocked with various cans of Budweiser, protein powders, and Slim Jims. Typical of most Inns, a large elevated stage could be found in the dead center of the space, with thick, padded posts on each corner. Between the posts were strung several taught ropes, of the sort mostly used to moor ships.

Within the center of this ring, a dour young man in white robes was speaking to everybody's favorite [Innkeeper], as she worked to finish securing the last rope to the post.

"It's not that I'm denying its entertainment value, you understand. I'm worried about the economic feasability of it."

The [Innkeeper] grunted in response.

"You see, most people expect to purchase their food with money. I have doubts about this..." he hesitated, "Performance-based, I suppose you could say, tab system."

As Erin Solstice (That's the name of the [Innkeeper], but you already knew that, gentle reader) finished attaching the rope, and stood to her towering height of 6' 13", the [Mage] trailed off.

"It's... just something to consider."

Erin nodded, stroking her beard. "I hear you, Pisces, brother. But you aren't thinking with your whole mind. You're all mixed up, if you think that people wouldn't kill for a slice of Solstice Brand Pizza Slammers."

"I... hope it's a fair assumption that you're speaking figuratively, but- no NO NO NO"

Pisces trailed off in his retort as Erin lifted him bodily over her head and did a leaping spin, before slamming him against the mercifully elastic floor of the ring.

Erin dusted off her legs and sniffed once, staring out the window before addressing the prone [Necromancer].

"What did I tell you about making assumptions?"

"Nnnghhnn?" Pisces guessed, incorrectly.

"That's right. They make an ass out of "u" and "mptions. Don't do it, brother. Always brush your teeth."

Erin flexed her way out of the ring to start work on the bowl of eggs that Pisces had just purchased.

"A classic application of the [Solstice Stunner!]" commented a drake sitting in the corner. "Bone Daddy's record remains 0-11 against the champ, but what else can we expect, when it comes to facing off against the grand master of [Pro Wrestling]?"

Erin grinned a smile. "Thanks, Olesm, but it's not exactly fair. Pisces got a long road ahead of him, a long hard road, if he wants to make it to the top of Mount Solstice."
Erin's calm demeanor intensified as he went into her speech. "It's all about giving 110%. Even in my world, I wasn't the greatest [Pro Wrestler], but brother, you better believe I got close. And you better extra believe I didn't get that way by giving up!"

Pisces merely stared at Erin, laying dazed on the floor of the ring.

"There's always somebody above you in the world, that's called the rules of nature, brother. In this world, though..." Erin lowered her already gravelly voice to a smooth granite, "Brother, you better believe I'm the king."

With that, Erin dropped the [Microphone] and went back to cooking.

"An expert dismissal by our reigning champ." Ceria commented, sitting next to Olesm.

"That's right, Ceria, but it makes you wonder how long she can go without an upset."

At that very dramatically appropriate time, the doors were kicked off their hinges again. (Don't worry, dear reader, as Erin is a canny business-owner, and invests in both hinges and doors by the barrel-full.)

Standing in the now bare doorframe, a diminutive goblin female, wearing a black leather catsuit, upon which are emblazoned the crimson letters "I AM BOSS". She scowls under the Carnwolf skull crown she wears, as she postures into Erin's Inn.

"Oh, something's happened. Can you see it, Ceria?" Olesm exclaimed as he peered towards the door.

"It's better that you can't, Olesm! Don't look now, but it's Duane "The Rags" Johnson! She's here to challenge Erin for the title! IN HER OWN INN, NO LESS."

"It's been some time since we last saw "The Rags", Ceria. Let's not forget that Erin was the one who took her in, and taught her everything she knows about [Pro Wrestling]. Nobody could have expected her sudden betrayal. The twist of a century!"

"Right you are, Olesm."

"Last time, Erin put her back in her place, but it I don't trust her grin, Ceria. I think she's got something up her sleeve this time."

"I guess we'll have to wait and see, it looks like they're heading to the ring now."

Erin and Rags locked eyes, mutually heading for the ring.

"What'd I tell you about showing your face here again?" Erin growled. Rags simply sneered, remaining silent.

As they entered the Inn, Relc approached Erin. "I don't like the feel of this. You want me to-" Erin interrupted Relc with a gentle choke-slam, pointing to the cardinal sign in her inn. It hung upon the wall in dented, blood-splattered glory, and said only this:

No Tagteaming Goblins.

"I live and die by a code of honor, Relc. A war hero like you wouldn't understand."

Relc could only nod in agreement.

"We settle this once and for all, again." Erin said to Rags, pointing in a really intimidating but also cool way, like real badass you know.

Rags charged for Erin, who sidestepped her, and reached out, attempting to encircle Rags around the waist. Rags dropped through Erin's grasp and rolled out, before diving into a leg grapple.

Erin tried to leap away, but was caught off guard, and Rags lifted sharply, tossing Erin into the air and onto her back. Before Rags could even hope for a pin, the [Innkeeper] was already rolling to her feet, and lunging forwards with an elbow.

Rags was caught along the chin, and went sprawling down. As she struggled to her feet, Erin slammed one massive foot down, pinning Rags beneath it.

"A noble effort, brother, but you'll have to try harder to b-"

A metal chair slammed into the back of Erin's head, sending her spiraling forwards, collapsing into the ropes.

"OH WHATCH OUT WHATCHOUTWHATCHOUT" Olesm shouted.

"The DIRTIEST MOVE, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT." Ceria added, as the entire crowd stared at the 6 goblins who had just snuck into the ring.

"It's Garen Redfang, and the Redfang Boyz!" Olesm declared, "They were banned from the Inn after Summerfest 512! This is the most illegal, the most vile and evil move in all of wrestling history!"

As Erin struggled to stand, Rags grabbed her by the straps of her Apron, then rolled backwards, tossing Erin backwards over her head.

Garen caught Erin by the legs, and lifted her high in the air, spreading her legs wide. Headsmasher and Rabbitbeater went to town, crouched down low and punching at her face, while Shorthurt and Badarrow each armlocked her, threatening to dislocate her shoulders. Numbtongue cackled as he climbed the ropes, and Garen nodded at him.

"It looks like they're about to pull of their signature move, Olesm!"

"The dreaded [Redfang Hammer]! I can't look!"

Numbtongue leapt from the ropes, preparing a powerful elbow-drop directly towards Erin's tailbone. Time seemed to slow as he flew, and suddenly, a blur of white struck him out of the air.

Numbtongue slammed into the ropes, and flipped over the top, pitching out of the ring as a small white Gnoll in a luchador mask landed in the center of the ring with a flourish.

"How about we even the odds?" A regal voice demanded, as a woman wearing a white-and-gold leotard with a flowing cape entered the ring. A silver crown sat atop a flowing mane of red hair, as Lyonette flexed her bulging muscles at all present. Mrsha also flexed a cep, much to the "Aww"ing of the audience.

Rags scowled from the corner of the ring, as Erin fought her way free of the Redfang Boys, meeting Lyonette and turning to face her aggressors.

"And with the sudden appearance of "Royal Pain" and "Doombringer", this match suddenly looks a lot more even!" Olesm exulted.

"Right you are, Olesm."


"Thanks for coming, Brother." Erin panted, nodding to Lyonette.

"And here I assumed you would object," she replied, nodding to Erin's sign.

Erin grinned a smile. "Well, you know what they say about making assumptions."

The crowd cheered as the combatants charged at each other.

Outside the Inn, the silence having long since been broken, Liscor and its surrounding area settled back into its daily routine.

End of Part 1