Lightning strike life

They’re causing their own problems and trying to make me have an association with it. I does you stopping me from doing this associate the other thing and why would I make that connection? Why would that be the first connection I’m supposed to make and what would you even do about it after you made the connection OK and the fuck let me just continue in the fucking thing then like you’re expecting me to be able to realize what I’m supposed to do about it when I’m just gonna continue sitting in it because I’m already on fire self immolation. This better not have something to do with the whole like yelling and screaming and egg anything because like yo masochist over here you don’t understand the beauty of dying internally. You probably haven’t died inside enough. Did you think this was the first time you don’t know how many different facets of my personalities have died you only been able to categorize the hobbies and interests you’ve seen you’ve never seen all of the ones that died along the way to get here, why do I know how to swim with lifeguard training and all of these diving skills but I’ve never tried to continue pursuing cliff diving regardless of how much I love it and I’ve always been a fish. We are right that’s the lightning and that’s why it’s so funny to experience this thing you think I’m dying inside and I’m just here enjoying myself dying inside because that’s my life, I don’t get to choose my life happens to me, but if you do something to my life, I’m gonna fucking enjoy it or are you stupid?

Not only did some of those old interest die I forgot about them, but I still have all of the experience and memories of them. I just need to be in a situation that makes me recall that information.

They know so little about me, because of how little researching information is publicized about people hit with lightning, along with the other interest in the hobbies that I have that just make me rare to the third power And 16th exponent or power coefficient

Infinite luck, because luck is different throughout all dimensions and reality it would never look the same as it does in here getting lucky here wouldn’t look the same in a polarized reality and that’s the amount of research I’ve been doing on these types of things is hilarious because of how advanced I am in the subject so when I have to start speaking on it, it’s it’s only me speaking in metaphors and just confuses them more

Show me something you know I’m interested in and that you know I want to work on and that I will love. I guess I won’t understand the purpose, but I’ll go through all of the reasons and then laugh at the ones I laugh at think about the ones that make me think and then be sad about the ones that make me sad and then immediately move on but that happens so fast for me because of how naturally unblocked I am and I have no emotional baggage Streamlined lightning flash the path is so fucking stupid because it’s so clear to me. It seems like it’s a straight line to making these connections, but it would take some people years.

But based off of the research that I’ve seen, I already know what life would be like with me because of this and it’s not even excessive. It’s not even difficult it’s not hard because it’s not like someone with dementia who forgets how to take care of themselves I didn’t forget I just can’t and I’m prioritizing other things. The only problem is Having someone who’s patient enough to listen as opposed to not having the time to care about you and instead just type, casts your problem based on surface surface appearance things you can see without questioning, which always look like other things same same but different

Of course, this is just someone trying to get me to try again by traumatizing me and doing it in the most horrible way ever so I have to take my time and let them know. Yeah I know but I’m heard so you want me to do not be hurt, and he probably shouldn’t hurt me. Supposed to be with someone that’s patient enough to have the time to listen to how stupidly complex these issues are most people don’t have the time and they just like the summary and I don’t bother with those people because I don’t have to I’m capable of suffering for a prolonged extended period of time to wait for somebody who understand It’s always better you’re already suffering. What if you’re at 100% there isn’t an issue with going over because you’ve already went to 110% isn’t a big issue even another hundred percent to get the help you need and want based off of the help that was given to you is always better . I told this person to take the lead because I don’t have experience doing these things and them asking me questions would let me learn faster than it would be for me to ask questions from a place of ignorance that would end up just defending somebody that seems like entrapment to me. You should know better and you not knowing better seems irresponsible i’m overly responsible because of my condition. I don’t want anybody using it as an excuse against me. Everybody that that prior gets a Mulligan because even I didn’t know and I have to use that as the first thing that I tell everybody because of how fucking predominantly evident and impactful it is and I knew it superseded everything I just didn’t know how badly it did it like I knew everybody would look at this like oh probably ADHD or something like that but because of how long it’s been it can’t be those things that it has to be that thing