notkickass222urmom

TFwtNoD

Jul 28th, 2014
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  1. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/19253/the-filly-with-the-necklace-of-death
  2.  
  3. Today, out of boredom and likely shitfic-induced insanity, I will be riffing a short oneshot (we still like riffs, right?) ( http://www.fimfiction.net/story/19253/the-filly-with-the-necklace-of-death ), that is written by ElectricWaveScratch, who claims to be a 11 year old Slovakian girl. It's probably the easiest target I've ever riffed. But if this really is a 11 year old girl, I am honestly sort of concerned for her. Be prepared for spelling/grammar errors since it's the middle of the night here.
  4.  
  5. Anyway, let's start with the title:
  6. >The filly with the necklace of death.
  7. It also has the tags Sad, Dark, AU, Teen and Gore. So you know we're in for a good time, even if the entire fic is only 1001 words long.
  8.  
  9. On to the description:
  10. >Electric Waveorina Scratch
  11. Brilliant OC naming aside (I mean this shit sounds like it's taken straight from the show), it's pretty clear now that this is somehow supposed to be a self-insert.
  12.  
  13. >has allways had a liking in gore
  14. I think that's fairly common for OCs. Besides, it's perfectly normal to like excessive amounts of blood and violence, right?
  15.  
  16. >but when she reads a hate-fiction about her sister she goes insane whit murder
  17. So in this AU ponies write hate... fiction about each other? It is clear, as we can see here on 4chan every day, that texts and fiction can make people so mad that they go "insane with murder". I'll just take a wild guess and say that our OC's sister is Vinyl Scratch.
  18.  
  19.  
  20.  
  21. >whit the weapon her mother,Instant Death used to put ponies up in their time,the necklace of death.
  22. So the mother of Vinyl and... Electric Waveorina, is named Instant Death, which is another example of the complete mastery of OC naming. Our titular necklace is somehow a weapon. Does she choke people with it?
  23.  
  24. >I am looking for an image drawer,so if you are interested contact me through a message on facebook
  25. "If you have brain damage and liked my fiction please do free work for me."
  26.  
  27. > It should be a black silloutte of a unicorn filly and whit evil red eyes and a necklace whit a sword like metal thingy whit blood on it.
  28. I don't think I need to say another thing about what is awaiting us.
  29.  
  30. >Chapter 1: Prolouge
  31. There's three chapters to this fic.
  32.  
  33. >It was a sunny day when Electric Wave had done the thing this story is about. Actually,me.
  34. These 18 words are the entirety of Chapter 1. If anything I'm just surprised that it wasn't a dark, stormy night. Make sense of the grammar if you can.
  35.  
  36. >Chapter 2: The story
  37. I'm really glad she decided to spread the story over three chapters.
  38.  
  39. >Ok,i will start it off with the day of my birth.
  40. "I remember it as though it was yesterday."
  41.  
  42. >My mother was an alicorn and the pony of death.
  43. Well, at least the OC isn't an alicorn. Her mother is just the Alicorn Grim Reaper. And her sister is a DJ. A normal family.
  44.  
  45.  
  46.  
  47. >My father was a caspar and a unicorn so we got the species from him.
  48. "My father was Casper the Friendly Ghost."
  49. Considering her mother is the Grim Reaper, this would be much more appropriate.
  50.  
  51. >I was born on a really stormy day, when my father left.
  52. And there comes the stormy day. Just in time for the dark back-story. How much edge can she pack into a single character?
  53.  
  54. >He never really loved my mother,and she never loved him.
  55. Fair enough, it might have been a political marriage.
  56.  
  57. >They actually mrried because my sister,Vinyl Scratch, was a rape child from them.
  58. Nope, not enough edge and darkness in a unhappy political marriage. Gotta add some rape to the mix.
  59. I've got to hand it to Casper though. Not only did he somehow manage to rape a Alicorn Grim Reaper, but he also married her afterwards and had another child. It's impressive in all the wrong ways.
  60.  
  61. >Even though my parents were abusive,i loved them dearly along whit my sister.
  62. Abusive parents. Let's just hope it's here to achieve more edge and not a piece of self-insertion. Also Vinyl somehow managed to become a DJ despite being the abused rapechild of a alicorn.
  63.  
  64. >I always had a liking for gore and blood but nopony really liked me for it,
  65. I can't imagine why.
  66.  
  67. >reversely they hated me for it and called me a psychopath.
  68. As they probably should.
  69.  
  70.  
  71.  
  72. >But when i was djing at parties of Pinkie and Pumpkin Cake they never cared if i am a psycopath,or not.
  73. Pinkie Pie loves everyone unconditionally. I am however worried that someone (probably Pinkie) let this psychopath near the Cake Twins.
  74.  
  75. >Infact they liked me for it.
  76. Yeah, sure, why not.
  77.  
  78. >But that changed when i read a fanfic about my sister called A scratch to kill (actually i made it up).
  79. Oh... so another pony wrote fanfiction about sher sister... but she made it up? So there was no fanfiction?
  80.  
  81. >It made me soo angry that i had to murder for revenge and i am honest.
  82. So she had to murder someone... over a fanfiction she made up? There might be a good reason why people call Waveorina a psychopath.
  83.  
  84. >"It's a filly!" shouted Nurse RedHeart when i was born. My mother growled for the fact she hated life for the sake of anypony.
  85. If this isn't the cutting edge in fanfiction writing I don't know what is. But it's actually a neat idea though. The Alicorn of Death gives birth. I guess the rape was the ultimate defeat not only of her as a person, but of her element. It's something you would find in mythology. Or not. But it's still not a horrible idea.
  86.  
  87. >My sister was the only one happy,so she said the word yay in a way only Fluttershy could.
  88. But if only Fluttershy could say Yay in that way, how did your sister do it? Is Vinyl secretly Fluttershy?
  89. THE PLOT THICKENS.
  90.  
  91.  
  92.  
  93. >On my second birthday it started,the abusion my mother gave me.
  94. She might be the Godess of Death and hate all life, but at least she wait until babies are two years old before she starts hitting them.
  95.  
  96. >She hitted me for no reason,made me do her job (not killing,chores) and never gave me even food.
  97. Did she "never even give you food", or "never give you even food". There is a difference.
  98.  
  99. >When i was nine,my tolerance was over the top. I could not stand it anymore so she became my first victim
  100. Despite being the Alicorn of Death, she seems like a total pushover. Raped by a normal unicorn and killed by a 9 year old malnourished filly. It's not exactly godlike.
  101.  
  102. >It stoped for abut two years but they still feared me,they feared the monster inside of me.
  103. What "stoped"? The punishment for matricide/regicide? Was everyone so afraid of a 11 year old filly that they just let her go about unpunished? Though, she was underage.
  104.  
  105. >Nopony wanted to even talk to me,only my sister.
  106. Why would anyone talk to you?
  107.  
  108. >I even had to go to a school for shit brained foals.
  109. Excuse me, I need to take a break and retrieve my sides.
  110.  
  111. >They think i am insane,it only broke in me.
  112. I think that classifies as insanity.
  113.  
  114. >Even my employer Pinkie fired me for it.
  115. Well no shit. Also, does this mean that Waveorina was a DJ prior to the murder of her mother? As in, before she was 9 years old? Was Pinkie regularly hiring a abused and malnourished little filly to DJ at her parties?
  116.  
  117.  
  118.  
  119. >She only needed me for something with cupcakes in what she allways had to rip out my organs.
  120. Cupcakes reference: Check.
  121.  
  122. >But as i said before,my mother was an alicorn so it means i come back to life in a few hours if somepony kills me
  123. So not only did Pinkie actually hire a malnourished filly to DJ at parties, but at night she tore out the filly's organs and made cupcakes out of them? And then the filly came alive again, only for them to repeat the process. This has to be against just about every single workplace safety regulation there is. Besides, why is Waveorina somehow sad that she lost this job? Did she enjoy being torn apart and used for baked goods? Anyway, this is all 9edge11me.
  124.  
  125. >but my mother was fully dead for the fact i ripped off her and wings,made the blood bleed out until it was normal pony blood,and murdered her.
  126. Being the Alicorn of Death, I'm sure that she enjoyed dying.
  127.  
  128. >When i got to school my teacher,Derpy patted my head slightly.
  129. There is no coherence in the narrative. It just jumps to new places seemingly at random.
  130.  
  131. >When i was going to ask Derpy what was for homework the day (probably muffin baking again)
  132. Well, you do attend shit-brain school, so I don't see why you would expect to be given a task that's any more mentally challenging than that.
  133.  
  134. >her daughter Dinky started laughing at me "HAHAHAHA! AN IDIOT!".
  135. "Silence children. As long as you both attend my class, you're both shit-brains."
  136.  
  137.  
  138.  
  139. >Personally i hated Dinky to the core but,she could have been nice if she wanted to but mostly she was acting like a total bitch.
  140. In other words, a complex character.
  141.  
  142. >When i got home i baked the muffins and went to read some fanfics
  143. Where is home, exactly? Since you have no parents. Do you live with our sister? What fanfics are you reading?
  144.  
  145. >but then i found it,the fanfic that made me snap again,A scratch to kill.
  146. The one that you made up the last time you needed to kill someone? Is this fanfiction actually a deep metaphor for Waveorina's psychopathic desire, or "Scratch", to "Kill", whenever she's put into very difficult situations? Just as when she, after years of torment, developed a urge (Scratch) to kill her mother, has she now been once again put under such breaking pressure that she must once again kill? Does killing become easier with each time? I can't wait for the answers to the questions put forwards by this eminent psycho-thriller.
  147.  
  148. >It said that my sister was not actually a dj but one of those ponies standing on corners of the streets,a whore.
  149. Considering the edgyness of this fic, I would say that it sounds plausible.
  150.  
  151. >I took moms old weapon and went to take revenge but before that,my sister asked me where i was going. I had to lie,so i told her that i was going to see Lissi,my girlfriend and bff at once.
  152. How, in the midst of going on and on about how everyone hates her, has she forgotten to mention that she has a bff and a girlfriend?
  153.  
  154.  
  155.  
  156. >The first kill was to the fanfic writer,Dinky.
  157. It all makes sense now. Clearly Dinky does not exist, but is rather a fragment of Waveorina's insane mind. Just as Waveorina can go from normal enough to get a gf to a crazy murderer, Dinky is sometimes nice, sometimes a bitch. Dinky is the author, and Waveorina made the fic up, because she also made Dinky up. Are you all keeping up?
  158. Man, you're really got to read between the lines to understand the genius of this fic.
  159.  
  160. >The weapon was a necklace whit metal falling down from it,thus it was easy to get her guts and heart out.
  161. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how necklaces work. It also appears to be the scene where she murders Dinky. I suspects it's a metaphor for Waveorina "tearing her heart out", as in removing the empathic, sane pieces of herself and leaving society behind.
  162.  
  163. >She did deserve,but it feeled so good,i needed more. So i eventually did become a psychopath.
  164. In her own way, by killing Dinky, Waveorina has set herself free and fully become the psychopath she has always latently been. Dinky was the teacher's daughter, Waveorina's last connection with society.
  165.  
  166.  
  167.  
  168. >The murders followed by those who i became to hate whit the years. But i still needed more,so i killed almost everypony,except my sister. But i had to kill more so i killed my only friend,my sister. I had to.
  169. Again metaphorical, this refers to Waveorina stripping away more pieces of her identity until she arrives at the core, and we realise that Vinyl, who was also a DJ and a rapechild, was actually another identity of Waveorina's twisted mind, representing her past and her dreams for the future. By killing her "sister", she has stripped herself of past and future, embracing the present as the only thing she can believe in. Inadvertently, by hating and killing her mother, she has taken her mother's place in the cosmological balance.
  170.  
  171. Who the fuck am I kidding this is a shitfic beyond hope with no literary or artistic qualities. It's about a super-edgy OC that kills stuff for 1001 words. It's shit in every possible way.
  172.  
  173. >Then i snapped back,to see what i did. I had to do something,so i killed myself the way i killed my mother and sister. But it did not work.
  174. "I have killed everyone I love. Time to kill myself."
  175. Didn't she earlier explain how to kill immortal beings? Why doesn't she try that out on herself?
  176.  
  177. >I still lived.
  178. Of course you did. You're a self-insert OC. You can't die.
  179.  
  180. >Chapter 3: ending
  181. Thank the Grim Reaper Alicorn that we're soon done with this.
  182.  
  183.  
  184.  
  185. >Then i snapped back,to see what i did. I had to do something,so i killed myself the way i killed my mother and sister. But it did not work.
  186. It's the exact same sentence over again. For some reason.
  187.  
  188. >I then tried something else,magic but i only realized have a broken horn.
  189. How convenient.
  190.  
  191. >I wanted to cry,but then i realized that my father still lives,so i asked him over. He was not actually Abusive,but loving but still a caspar.
  192. So besides being a rapist who left his children with a abusive and emotionally unstable mother, he's a great guy?
  193.  
  194. >He helped me with bringing everypony back to life,but no mother which was good.
  195. Good thing she's a self-insert, so that she can do whatever she likes without any consequences.
  196.  
  197. >Also everypony wanted to kill me
  198. I can't imagine why.
  199.  
  200. >but then Vinyl Scratch jumped in front of me. "STOP!" she shouted. She knew i was snapped,so she told everypony.
  201. Didn't you hear? It's ok to kill people if you're insane at the time of the crime.
  202.  
  203. >They left me alone then. I also got my horn repaired in the hospital,Derpy adopted me and Vinyl as her kids and me and Dinky are now friend.
  204. Derpy is a forgiving mare. She will gladly adopt someone who killed her daughter. After all, the killed had "snapped", so she wasn't really responsible.
  205.  
  206. >I had a good life. Fluttershy even gave me a pet! A beatifull kitten.
  207. So in the end, this is happy story?
  208.  
  209.  
  210.  
  211. >As i said before,i had a great life. My father even stoped being a caspar and whit a magic,hid his horn and married Derpy.
  212. I still don't know what a caspar is. So, after 11+ years of abuse and murder, the rapist-dad came back and everything turned out for the best. Except for the Alicorn of Death, but she was a bitch, so it was good that she died, right?
  213.  
  214. >And i don't like gore anymore,yay!
  215. Character development, yey!
  216.  
  217. >But why did i like it in the first place? I dunno.
  218. Fuck this fic in every way possible.
  219.  
  220. >Fin.
  221.  
  222. Jesus Christ that was horrible.
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