RGRE A.J.J.F.M. Part II

>Be Anon
>The gloom was settling down like water soaking through a towel, and the ever-dimming pockets of natural light were splotched against an opaque sky
>It was going to be quite dark tonight
>This was not a bad thing, however, when one considered your situation
>Sneaking out from Twi’s was becoming more and more like some demented mission from Metal Gear than a simple walk-a-bout
>Since discovering A.J.F.F.M., you’ve begun to work there as one of the Sapphire sisters’… erm…
>”Consumer assistants” as Glisten preferred to call them
>You know what you’re doing isn’t exactly glamourous
>There are nights that prove to be tough, when the smell of booze and debauchery chokes the air, with hollering and grunts of all sorts, and of course a variety of….
>Eccentric clientele
>Really rowdy mares
>The kind that don’t understand that forcefully pinning someone down and “being loving” are not one in the same
>Ma-anon didn’t raise a horse-fucker
>At least the money was good
>So today you were making your way down to A.J.F.F.M. by dodging in and out of the various alleyways of this vivacious little town, pattering down familiar routes designed to through off followers
>Namely Twi
>Thank Kek for the dork’s early 9:30 bed-time
>Sure she’s been trying to stay up to-
>-Ahem-
>”Oh, and keep dear vigil for the finest colt in all of Equestria! A fine stallion with hair as silk, and-“
>You didn’t feel like reciting the full soliloquy
>Lost in its cringe-inducing verses, you nearly bump into Bon-Bon, whom was closing up her stand for the night
>Good thing you didn’t have your-
>Sigh
>”Monkey Fever” outfit on
>It was almost nothing except a bra for your package, (complete with thong backing) and a DK-inspired tie
>”Watch it ball-brains! Your ditzy ass almost bumped me!”
>Bon-horse was not pleased
“Uh-huh. It’s a shame those sweets will get more moist in this summer heat then you’ll ever be.”
>Strolling past her, she engages full on rage mode, stomping her tiny hooves in agony
>”Well who’s fault is thaaaa-“
>You turn around briefly
“What?”
>”Nothing! Not like I wanted to bump into you! You A-ape!”
>With a massive blush on her cheeks, she slams the remaining stuff into her stand and prattles away, making “humph” noises the entire time
>Well that was fucking weird
>You stumble into A.J.F.F.M., taking that omen into account
>Be ready for anything
>Checkered Sapphire is hurriedly shooing in a group of mares as you approach, clearly trying to make time for you
>You smile and wait patiently for the rowdy group to finish discoursing on the subject of “most juice let loose in one go”
>Eventually you stroll up to the front desk and give Checkered a smile
>It’s hard to hate this bubbly, over-zealous mare, even if she was pushy
>”So, you here for work or to-“
“Work, Checkered, sorry, I know I said we’d hang out sometime, and I plan on holding you to that. Maybe I’ll take you out for a nice breakfast at the end of the shift, my treat.”
>She lets an explosive, snorty laugh
>”Colt? Taking ME out? And paying for it? Ok I need to lay off those PB “Ride’m Mare” shots, this can’t be real.”
>You frown
“Yeah yeah I fucking get it yuck it up. But I mean it. It’s the least I can do for you and your sister.”
>”Oh I can think of other things you can do with me and my sister.”
>Her eyebrows dance
>AAAAnd this where you head in
“Ugh. Okay, I’m going in. But seriously, give the offer a chance.”
>”Oh don’t be a rotten bastard. Of course I would love to go. You know I’m always hungry for something to put my mouth on.”
>Fuck’s sake
>You head in
>The night proves to be a busy one
>After getting changed, you’re really put through both your paces and patience
>You, Caramel, and the other “assistants” are constantly on the move, and constantly getting sidetracked between waiting, performing, and playing nice with the rambunctious mares
>It was extremely exhausting
>And you’re pretty sure there is a hoof mark on your ass from one of those slaps
>Though those slaps never stop
>You’d think your ass was ambrosia or something with the way they constantly paw at it
>You were currently serving what looked like a mafia mare, complete with fat stacks of bits, a fresh suit, and slick hair
>But early on you learned asking too many questions wasn’t smart, so instead you were letting them ogle you whilst you handed out some pitchers of “Stallion Sleep-tight”, a particularly strong malt beer with tinges of ginseng and an acidic after-taste
>The main mare, a burly black and blue unicorn, was trying to sweet-talk you
>”C’mon baby, we’ll even go by the lake after we’re done playing with all my toys.”
>Fuck that, that wasn’t suspicious at all
>After serving them, you excuse yourself to the back room, hoping to get a breather
>Shutting the door behind you, you lean against it and let out a long sigh, slumping to the ground
>You look up to see-
>Fuck
>Looks like you’ll have to wait on that break
>”Oh my goodness moony toony Anon, I am having such a meltdown right now.”
>Caramel
>It was always Caramel
>Anytime something went wrong, it was Caramel
>No Fucking Exceptions
>You look up at the prissy stallion sitting on a lone “toy” box in the center of a room lined with all sorts of horrid items and outfits, as well as a few blander utensils like cleaning supplies
>Not to mention the “extra-private” room door, adorned in black obsidian, which you learned very quickly to never go in as it was reserved for the-
>”Differently satisfied customer”
>You will never know what that mare was planning to do to that poor stallion with 80 hot-pockets, some rope, a hockey mask, twenty socks, thousand island dressing, and a live timber-wolf wearing a dominatrix costume
>You never asked the poor fucker when you saw him crying in the bathroom later
>Thank Kek you haven’t got assigned to that duty
>You refocus on Caramel, who’s been blabbing to you this whole time
>Fuck should start paying attention, you don’t want to have him need a “time-out” with a container of ice-cream in his own personal cardboard box
>”-so then I said, look my body, my choice mare-y, I’ll have you know I’m a registered stallionist-“
>You fight back a giggle as hard as you can, but a little slips through, and Caramel looks at you
>”Hey! Do I need to start from the beginning due to your misand-“
“Just get to the fucking point Caramel.”
>”Ugh, you are so basic. Fine, the POINT-“
>He makes a barrage of exaggerated gestures that almost send him careening off the box and into a pile of plastic dongs nearby, but catches himself
>”-is that now, ever since that mare thought that “giving me a hoof” in a SACRED place, it’s been hurting non-stop. My thing feels like it might be… y’know….”
“What?”
>”Hurt! Or something! Look, can I ask a favor?”
>Oh this is about to get weird isn’t it?
“Caramel. I. Am. Not. Going. To. Inspect. Your. Dongle.”
>”But this is seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerious Anon, what if it explodes-“
“That isn’t going to fucking happen-“
>”But if it DOES you would be responsible!”
“How?!”
>”Because you didn’t help a bro out by getting on his thing.”
>Dead silence
“I fucking hate you.”
>”But Anooooooooon pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase-“
>Fuck is he annoying
>Not to mention Glisten might get on you if you let him make a scene
“Fine.”
>”Wait really? Wow you must really car-“
“Pay me.”
>”What?”
“I said pay me. I’ll help you if you pay me.”
>”Oh! Like you touch mine, I touch-“
“Do you have to make everything uncomfortable?”
>”Ok Anon geez it’s like, so basic of you to do this. But fine, twenty bits.”
“Fuck that, it’s thirty.”
>”Ok.”
“Up front.”
>”OK.”
>”No weird stuff either, just a look.”
>”OK! CELESTIA BE JUST DO IT ALREADY!”
>You groan, get close, and look at-
>Ugh
>You’re gonna be sick
>But thankfully it looks like he has nothing wrong
“It’s fine dumbass, you probably just pulled a muscle near it.”
>”But it huuuuuurts. You sure there is nothing wrong?”
“Caramel. Fuck off. You’re fine.”
>”Just one more look?”
>You sigh again
>Seriously, he looks fine
>Probably just hit something wrong
>You just hope no one walks in while your head is this close to his-
>”SO NONNY I-“
>Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
>You turn around to face-
>The worst possible being that could’ve come through there
>The pink, energetic mare stares in bewilderment, cheeks beet red
>”Uh, is this a bad time, or… Glisten said you were on break, and…”
>Caramel pipes up
>”He was just grabbing a thing!”
“Shut up!”
>”You were grabbing a thing?!”
“Yeah uh, I was helping Caramel grab his thing-“
>”You were grabbing HIS thing?!”
“I WAS NOT PLAYING WITH ANY FORM OF DONGLE!”
>The room was once silent
>Caramel quietly slips off the box, puts his stuff back on, and begins to trot out of the room
>He stops before exiting back into the den
>”To be fair I did pay him to-“
“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE NOT HELPING!”
>He bolts out of the room, and you can hear his whines die out as a mare picks him up the second he steps out of the door, strolling to find somewhere to “get better acquainted.”
>The room is silent for the third time
>Ponka lightly starts again, sitting down lightly so as not to land on any unsavory artifacts
>”So-uh….. that was really really really really awkward.”
“Yeah.”
>”And kind of-“
>You grimace at her
>She gets redder in the face
>”You know, it’s not everyday you see two stallions- uh”
“Why are you here Pank-O?”
>”Whuh?”
“This isn’t your kind of joint. Despite your eccentricity, you’ve always been on the nicer side. This here’s a place for the mares who don’t mind a bit of dirt on them.”
>””Yeah, well-“
“So it tells me you’re here for someone else, aren’t you? Always trying to keep others happy? Colt and mare alike?”
>She looks down
>”Yeah. I know this place ain’t my thing. I don’t like the smiles here one bit. But I have a friend who really wanted a favor from you and didn’t have the beans to ask so I just really wanted to make her happy and-“
>She begins rapid-firing an explanation
>But you’ve heard enough
>You put a hand on her shoulder and the other on her chin, pulling her up so she looks you in the eye
“That’s very sweet of you Ponk.”
>She smiles
>You guys have a little moment
>”So you’ll do it?”
“Well, what is it?”
>”She wants you and her to be booked for a few hours tonight in a private room.”
>Oh, you’ve done that before
>Just take’em back, indulge them a little bit, but don’t do anything risky
>There’s like 10 rooms in the basement of this place, (which is actually quite nice, unlike the “black door” room), which can accommodate “Private activities”
>Most mares who sign up for it are just lonely and want someone nice to talk to on a soft bed
>Sure some are more risqué, preferring such acts as spooning and….
>Hoof-holding
>You shiver
>But this shouldn’t be a problem
“Sure Ponk, I think I can handle getting one of those down-stairs rooms for ‘em.”
>”Uh, she meant THE private room.”
“What do you mean THE-“
>You see her pointing at the black door
>Aw hell naw
“No.”
>”Anon pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease it’s important.”
“I am not going to do anything in that room. Atrocities happen in there. Planting Plot couldn’t move his plot for weeks after just one visit there.”
>”Oh, Anon it can’t be that bad.”
“Nope. No. Any room that always needs a restock of whipped cream and ball-gags is not a good sign.”
>”But Anon. I’ll pay even, just please do it.”
>Wait
>Money
>Fuck your inner mercenary always gets the better of you
”Wait, how much? And you’re not paying for it-“
>”Wha-?”
“The mare is. You’re too sweet to pay for this sin.”
>She blushes
“500 bits. This is serious shit.”
>”Ok.”
“Cool, tell her to give me 20 minutes to prepare myself for the worst.”
>”Wait, what changed your mind?”
“Partly you-“
>She smiles
”And partly….”
“The money.”
>”Wait, the money? Really?”
>She giggles
“What?”
>”Nothing, that just kind-of whorse-ish Anon.”
“No it’s not being a whore to commit unspeakable acts for money.”
>”No I think that’s literally the definition of being a whorse.”
“No, it’s more like a mercenary.”
>”I didn’t know mercenaries did this kind of stuff.”
“Ugh, they don’t its just-“
>She looks at you curiously and intently, since you now asserted yourself as the go-to source of knowledge for mercenary-whores
“Just… get going Ponk, I don’t want anyone to get a bad view of you from hanging around this place. And Ponk…”
>She looks back at you
“What you did today, knowing that this place is one you despise but following through due to your friend, it’s…”
>You look for some poetic thing to say to her, to tell her how you respect her loyalty to her friends
“Nice.”
>She smiles, getting your meaning, and heads off
>You go get yourself ready
>After rolling for dubs, and packing down some of Glisten’s home-made and quite excellent veggie dumplings, which had that excellent fraise sweetness mixed with the bitter crunch of a carrot, topped with a spiced aftertaste of cumin and crushed pepper that made your mouth water, you got ready to enter the dreaded “Black Door Room”
>Glisten gave you a concerned look when you asked for the key, and a small radio with a button on it to press, which she hid down the front of your pseudo-nut bra
>”Just in case it gets to be too much. And don’t worry it magically tracks your physical status too.”
“My fucking what-“
>”Nevermind. It’ll be ok darling. Now go and make it work you gem.”
>She gave you kiss on the cheek, and walked off
>You have been seeing her look down at a screen near her office every now and again though
>You at least appreciate her looking out for you
>With a great deal of dread, you unlock the door, switch it’s sign on the outside to “Occupied- and Ready”, and go in
>It looked….
>Ok
>It was of early 1900s décor, much like the rest of the place, with red curtains surrounding a few strategically placed mirrors, and a stereotypical red heart-shaped bed in the center
>There were some reasons to be concerned, however
>The bed smelled like death
>There were claw marks across the walls, as well as various overly large “Assistance-utensils” scattered across the ground
>There was also what looked like a strange bondage-machine attached to the wall with all manner of restraints and sadistic devices
>And if one looked at the wall on the other side of the bed one can see “help me…” written in an unknown fluid across the wall
>Lovely
>You opt to stand, and you don’t have to wait long before an ominous creak squeals forth from the door, and you see the huge mass be pushed open and close with a slam and click as the lock is activated
>Fearful, you turn and it’s-
“Bon why are you wearing that costume? You just look silly.”
>Bon-bon, whom had entered wearing a very poorly-stitched together changeling outfit, grimaced at you and tried to put on her most intimidating, marely voice, which unfortunately for her just came off as cute
>”Grr, who is this Bon-Bawn you speak of? I am certainly not her. I am the mighty Queen Crystaldick-“
“Chrysalis.”
>”Yes that one! And I have come to pillage you of your innocence you fair colt maiden who is dumb and I do not know and whom I do not at all lo-“
>She catches herself
>”Hate! Now prepare thyself for the most torturous night ever, as I ravage your-“
“What do you want Bon-Bon? It’d be easier if you just told what heinous act you had in mind.”
>The mare, embarrassed but trying to save face, storms up to you and tries to pick you up, but her hooves and fore legs are obviously not strong enough, and so she strains and huffs, pumping against your leg
>Wait, like-
“Ugh. Bon, seriously, you can just tell me so that way it’s easier to play along. And you don’t throw your back out, and stop acting like-“
>She stops her pumping and looks up at you
“That.”
>Somewhat defeated but ever persistent, she grudgingly obliges and you lean down to hear whatever dark, horrid act it is she wishes to partake in
>You brace yourself for the worst
>…
“Seriously?”
>She nods, looking up to you with pleading eyes
“Ok. If that’s what you want.”
>You hold her hoof
>She smiles
>(Some time later..)
>You were exiting the room of Unspeakable Acts
>It went fine
>She just wanted you to hold her hoof and tell her she was a good and nice horse
>You push the bits she was putting in your hand away
“Bon just keep-“
>”I am not Bon Bawno or whatever, I am Queen Crystalsplick-“
“Chrysalis.”
>”Yes that and for these horrid acts I must pay you.”
>You put the money back in her painted saddlebag
“Bon Bon. Next time, just ask me up-front instead of all this ok?”
>She finally dropped her act
>Sorta
>”Well, A-ape baka maybe I didn’t want to pay you anyway. Humph.”
“Ugh.”
>You think for a minute
“How ‘bout coming to breakfast sometime instead? My treat.”
>She looks up at you in excitement, then back to fake-anger
>”I’ll think about it, dummy colt. Should be making me breakfast anyway. No colts today are traditional I swear.”
“Uh-huh. Think about it Bonnie.”
>”W-Whatever.”
>She storms off, passing a tired-looking Glisten as she comes up to you, her smile and tired eyes breaking her usual appearance of almost-royal dignity
>”Well she seems fun.”
“I guess. Still can’t figure her out.”
>”O colt, don’t play with her heartstrings like all those other no-good shallow stallions. You know Lyra and her have been just DYING to be part of a herd. And you should start lookin’ into it too y’know, we can’t do this forever.”
“I… I just don’t know. And what do you mean ‘we’?”
>She gets redder than cherry-Kool-Aid
>”Ooops. Uh, nothing. Hey, why don’t we head out to the back porch? It looks out on a great view of the sun coming up over AJ’s acres, and we’re pretty much done for the night anyway.”
>You could use a break
“Sure.”
>You both head out and sit on the place’s dinky little porch, gazing at the glowing horizon
>Glisten lets her mane down, and slumps a little as tiredness sets in
>You scoot closer to her
>And she to you
>”I just can’t keep up this act forever, y’know? This place has seen its day, and I’m hoping someone else could take over this place so Checkered and I can be free.”
“Free to do what?”
>She lets out a tired groan and leans into your chest
>You put an arm around her
>She smells like fresh strawberries and sweat
>”I don’t know. Start a family maybe? Get some foals, find some nice, honest work to do.”
“This isn’t ‘honest work’? I thought that’s how you explained it to Mayor Mare.”
>”Ha-ha, not exactly. But yeah, just… something to do that makes me not so tired that I can see the sun more often. And foals would just be nice… I don’t know, I guess I’m just dreaming. Who would want to be with some dirty, gross mare that runs a joint like this?”
“You’d be surprised.”
>She smiles and snuggles into your chest, and you can feel the over-worked mare’s breathing slow as you watch the sunrise and her dreams take her to a place where things are easier
……………….
>Be Twi
>With science to try!
>You woke up beaming and checked the clock
>5 a.m.
>Oh, you’re sure Anon will be so excited to get up so early for this!
>You got a brand new classical romance novel to read with him!
>Colts like that stuff, right?
>How could anyone sleep at 5 am with something like that?!
>You bolt down to his room, throw open the door with glee and-
“ANON! Look what Derpy just delivered for me! It’s-“
>Gasp
>Thy fair colt!
>Oooooooooh, he better not be at that dirty den again
>That place isn’t safe for a colt such as your precious flower!
>You dash out of the castle like the gallant knightess you are!
……………………………
>You are back to being the Cena-tier badass that is Anon
>Checkered has come out too, clumsily plopping down next to you with a burp that almost disturbed her sister’s sleep
>She was quieter since though, and the two of you were whispering about the night’s events
>”So then Caramel took the ramen and the hamster and-“
>”ANON YOU! I’VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU BIG COLT! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOU PRECIOUS SELF AWAY FROM A DUMP LIKE THIS! WHAT WOULD YOUR FATHER SAY?!”
>Glisten jumps awake and nearly falls off the porch, but you catch her, and the bleary-eyed mare clings to your chest
“Chill the fuck out Twi I was just-“
>You pause
>Think Think Think
>Ah-hah!
“Taking a couple of friends out to breakfast. Want to come?”
>Smooth
>Twi looks surprised, but then smiles
>”Oh, you sly colt. Surveying for herd-mates are we?”
“What?”
>Checkered chimes in
>”Well duh, whaddya think? Oh and we should get the pink one and Bon Bon and her weird friend to come along right Anon?”
>Ugh
>These mares
>Can’t say no can ya?
>One question remains
“Are you paying for it Twi?”
>”Of course I will pay, being the mareliest-“
>That works
>But what are you going to do with all these mares?!
………….......