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Apr 1st, 2019
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  1. bind time - "20 04*" syncupman
  2. bind time - "20 16*" syncupman
  3.  
  4. set antiflood "1"
  5. set packwait "60"
  6. set toplimit "901"
  7.  
  8. setudef flag fourtwenty
  9.  
  10. proc syncupman {args} { putserv "PRIVMSG #d :\002\0033\\|/\\|/\\|/ \0039\002ITS 4:20! Hit that shit, pass that shit \002\0033\\|/\\|/\\|/"  }
  11.  
  12. bind pub - !menu pub_menu
  13. proc pub_menu {n u h c a} {
  14.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  15.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\00309\002!syringe\002, \002!pizza\002, \002!dab\002, \002!8ball\002, \002!foil\002, \002!sex\002, \002!pack"; return 0
  16. }
  17.  
  18. bind pub - !sex suckadick
  19. proc suckadick {n u h c t} {
  20.         switch -- [rand 5] {
  21.                 1 { putserv "privmsg $c :\001ACTION watches $n wrap their lips around [lindex [chanlist $c] [rand [llength [chanlist $c]]]]'s cock and suck and slurp and lick...\001" }
  22.                 2 { putserv "privmsg $c :\002BREAKING NEWS\002: [lindex [chanlist $c] [rand [llength [chanlist $c]]]] needs to /msg $n (the cocksucker) in the next 15 minutes for virtual cock suck!" }
  23.                 3 { putserv "privmsg $c :$n, NO COCK FOR YOU! Try eating pussy instead. MEOW! Here kitty kitty." }
  24.                 4 { putserv "privmsg $c :\001ACTION shoves his cock down $n's throat! Who is next? Type !gag_$n.\001" }
  25.                 default { putserv "privmsg $c :$n, there is fucking nobody wants their cock anywhere near the vicinity of you or your lips. Try again." }
  26.         }
  27. }
  28. bind pub - !bong pub_bong
  29. proc pub_bong {n u h c a} {
  30.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  31.         unbind pub - !bong pub_bong
  32.         if {![string length [set v [lindex $a 0]]]} { set v $n ; set n $::botnick }
  33.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\001ACTION packs the bong with some gorilla glue and passes it to $v , lets get high bitch\001";
  34.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !bong pub_bong"
  35. }
  36. bind pub - !xanax pub_xanax
  37. proc pub_xanax {n u h c a} {
  38.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  39.         unbind pub - !xanax pub_xanax
  40.         if {![string length [set v [lindex $a 0]]]} { set v $n ; set n $::botnick }
  41.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\001ACTION reaches into his pocket and gives $v 10 xanax bars, go to bed bitch\001";
  42.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !xanax pub_xanax"
  43. }
  44.  
  45. bind pub - !shot pub_pour
  46. proc pub_pour {n u h c a} {
  47.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  48.         unbind pub - !shot pub_pour;
  49.         if {![string length [set v [lindex $a 0]]]} { set v $n ; set n $::botnick }
  50.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c \001ACTION gives $v a double shot of crown royal \001";
  51.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !shot pub_pour"
  52. }
  53. bind pub - !pizza pub_pizza
  54. proc pub_pizza {n u h c a} {
  55.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  56.         unbind pub - !pizza pub_pizza
  57.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\001ACTION \00309gives \00310$n\00309 a \00304\037hot\037\00309 slice of cheese pizza. \00310\002YUM!";
  58.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !pizza pub_pizza"
  59. }
  60. bind pub - !foil pub_foil
  61. proc pub_foil {n u h c a} {
  62.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  63.         unbind pub - !foil pub_foil
  64.         if {![string length [set v [lindex $a 0]]]} { set v $n ; set n $::botnick }
  65.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\001ACTION passes the folded up piece of aluminum foil that already has a teardrop on it to $v, hit that shit an pass bitch!\001";
  66.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !foil pub_foil"
  67. }
  68. bind pub - !cig pub_cig
  69. proc pub_cig {n u h c a} {
  70.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  71.         unbind pub - !cig pub_cig
  72.         if {![string length [set v [lindex $a 0]]]} { set v $n ; set n $::botnick }
  73.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\001ACTION packs a fresh new pack of marlboro reds and passes one to $v , enjoy your cancer bitch.\001";
  74.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !cig pub_cig"
  75. }
  76. bind pub - !syringe pub_syringe
  77. proc pub_syringe {n u h c a} {
  78.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  79.         unbind pub - !syringe pub_syringe;
  80.         if {![string length [set v [lindex $a 0]]]} { set v $n ; set n $::botnick }
  81.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c \001ACTION passes the syringe that is already filled with some bomb black tar heroin to $v, Slam that shit an pass bitch!\001";
  82.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !syringe pub_syringe"
  83. }
  84. bind pub - !dab pub_dab
  85. proc pub_dab {n u h c a} {
  86.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  87.         unbind pub - !dab pub_dab;
  88.         if {![string length [set v [lindex $a 0]]]} { set v $n ; set n $::botnick }
  89.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c \001ACTION heats a titanium nail till it's glowing red hot with a blowtorch and passes it to $v \001";
  90.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !dab pub_dab"
  91. }
  92. bind pub - !8ball pub_coke
  93. proc pub_coke {n u h c a} {
  94.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  95.         unbind pub - !8ball pub_coke;
  96.         if {![string length [set v [lindex $a 0]]]} { set v $n ; set n $::botnick }
  97.         putserv "PRIVMSG $c \001ACTION cuts up a line of white pure on a mirror and passes a shooter to $v, Hey man, wanna go to the moon? \001";
  98.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !8ball pub_coke"
  99. }
  100.  
  101.  
  102. bind pub - !pack pub:sack
  103. proc pub:sack {n u h c a} {
  104.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  105.       set mins 0 ; set secs 0
  106.         regexp -- {([0-9]+)m} $a - mins
  107.         regexp -- {([0-9]+)s} $a - secs
  108.         if {$mins == 0 && $secs == 0} { set secs $::packwait }
  109.         if {($mins > 0 || $secs > 0 ) && [expr {$mins*60+$secs}] < $::toplimit} {
  110.                 unbind pub - !pack pub:sack
  111.                 putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\00310\002Listen up!\002 \00309Get your weed, grind your weed, pack your weed, roll your weed and be ready for a chan wide toke-out in \002\00304[duration [expr {$mins*60+$secs}]] "
  112.                 utimer [expr {$mins*60+$secs}] [list pub:sync $n $u $h $c $a]
  113.         } else {
  114.                 putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\00310listen up\00309... pack correctly.. don't \00304\037abuse\037\00309 the command.. or else.. haw"
  115.         }
  116. }
  117.  
  118. bind pub - !sync pub:sync
  119. proc pub:sync {n u h c a} {
  120.         if {![channel get $c fourtwenty]} { return }
  121.         bind pub - !pack pub:sack
  122.         utimer 1 [list putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\002\00310Ladies & Gents!\002\00310 \00309Get your bowls, joints, blunts \002\00304READY!"]
  123.         utimer 2 [list putserv "PRIVMSG $c :3...."]
  124.         utimer 3 [list putserv "PRIVMSG $c :2..."]
  125.         utimer 4 [list putserv "PRIVMSG $c :1.."]
  126.         utimer 5 [list putserv "PRIVMSG $c :\002\00304SYNCED!!\00304 \00309FIRE IN THE HOLE!"]
  127.         utimer $::antiflood "bind pub - !sync pub:sync"
  128. }
  129.  
  130. putlog "maryjane-v2.0 black@blackmajic: loaded."
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