Skittows Stowies Sics: Zyappies!

>It's like a routine now
>Wake up, wake up Skit, give him his breakfast
>This whole parenting thing is very easy when you get into the endless rut of it
>This morning, Skittles wasn't asleep, cuddling up with George like always
>You've had Skittles for two weeks and he's always cuddled up with George
>You nudge a finger into his forehead
"Boop. Boop boop."
>Skittles slowly draws to consciousness
>God damn are you glad he's a late sleeper
>"Nmhh... mownin, daddy."
"What's up? Where's George?"
>"Geowge ovew wif weggos. He a meenie."
>You have trouble believing that a small smiley-face mirror ornament from Wal-Mart is a meenie

"Uh huh. What did George do?"
>"Geowge bit Skittows! Skittows jus gif huggies an Geowge bite wike a big meenie! Skittows make Geowge sweep in weggo wand!"
>You ponder just how a rubber ball could have bit your fluffy pony
"What were you and George doing when he bit you?"
>"Skittows an geowge wew makin cawpet angews on da cawpet an Geowge bit Skittows an it made a big owie wite hewe."
>Skittles points to his hoof
>
"Skit, you wanna play carpet angels again?"
>"Pway cawpet angews wif daddy! Skittows wike dis game!"
>Skittles briefly refreshes you regarding the rules of carpet angels and then begins to play
>He becomes a small, fat mass of maroon fur tumbling around aimlessly on your carpet; shifting rapidly
"Okay, stop!"
>Skittles gets up from his carpet angel just like you taught him, and as dictated in the rules, he cries,
>"HAMMEWTIME!"
>Quick, you reach a finger out to Skittles' face
>As suspected, it creates a huge static shock

>You pick up George and have a closer look at him
>How could a rubber ball conduct a static shock?
>You inspect it to find that it actually has a crease down the middle of it
>The mirror-ornament came with the car when you bought it; you hadn't ever checked it out at length before
>George was open-able this whole time
>You look up at Skittles to get him to look away, but he's distracted by his ball at the moment
>You take this moment to open up George
>It takes a little bit of prying, but you get the little sphere to split
>What is inside is mildly shocking

>George, this whole time, was actually coated on the inside by a thin layer of magnetic metal
>This tiny yellow shell has been quietly hiding, for all these years,
>Roughly 2 1/2 grams of marijuana
>Wow
>You almost can't believe it
>The first thing you think is, "It's been a while"
>The second thing is, "There's no fucking way I can let Skittles get this."
>You grab the bag of schwag and shove it into your back pocket, and slam George back into one piece
>You idly dream of what Skittles would act like stoned

>"Daddy."
>You look up to Skittles
>"Whew Geowge?"
>He forgot you had him, or that he has a beef with him
>Guess he must have shocked something hard enough to reset his short-term memory
"He's right here. We just had a talk."
>You bring George over to Skittles
"George has something he wants to tell you, Skittles."
>"What Geowge say?"
"George says he's sorry for biting you last night, and he promises not to do it again if you never play carpet angels again. Okay?"
>"Okay, Geowge. Okay, daddy. Skittows not wan' pway cawpet angews anyways."
>You toss George back into the safe-pen, but it's too late
>Skittles' new cutie mark is a bolt of lightning


>Oh god damn it
>As much as you want to ignore it, it's only a few minutes before Skittles is bursting around is safe-pen, mindlessly shocking everything he comes in contact with
>He almost cries at first, but he soon gets used to the shocks and not as hurt by them, and he begins to find that zooming around his safe pen is fun
>"Daddy! Come pway wif Skittows!!"
>You rush over to the safe pen
>he's gonna bang his head into a lego block or something
>You look down into the pen and hover your hand over it, trying to catch Skittles as he flies by
>It's like that one scene in Wanted
>You reach your hand down blindly into the sea of holographic Skittles'
>You're just a smidgen too early, and Skittles' butt bumps write into your hand
>He doesn't feel most of the impact, and he giggles a little as he slows to a stop, coming off of your hand
>Skittles rises to his hooves

>"Why daddy stop game!"
"Skittles, you have to stop shocking things."
>"Skittows wike zyappie game!"
>Skittles runs over to you and rams into your hand again, shocking you
"Ah! What the hell!"
>Skittles is shocked by your shouting and begins to get visibly upset
>"Skittows sowee why daddy mad? Skittows wike zyappies..."
>He begins to cry, and then, a phenomenon!
>The tears, as they run down Skittles' face, seem to be conducting static, and giving off little sparks until they evaporate near his chin
>Apparently it hurts
>"Owwiees! why face huwt! Skittows sowee!"

>Alright, fuck this
>You've gotta un-charge him
>You're no scientist
>"Daddy pwease hewp Skittows! Why face huwt!"
>Shit, who do you know who would know how to un-static a fluffy?"

* * *

>"Do you have an appointment?"
>This shit again
"No, but my fluffy needs help immediately."
>"Please sit down, the Dr. will see you when he's ready."
>Dr. Nate's other receptionist is a bit nicer, but in an, "I'm 80 and working as a vet's secretary so I've given up on life" way
>All the while, Skittles is bouncing around in a little cardboard box you grabbed quick
>"Why daddy no gif Skittows huggies no mow? Skittows no wike dis game! Wan' huggies fow owies pwease!"
"Calm down, it's all gonna be okay soon, just chill out. I'm gonna get the doctor to tell me how to get you un-charged."
>Skittles' mood lightens up, and he seems to be taking a bit better to the pain from his electric tears; probably because his face numbed up
>"New fwein'?"
>You sigh
"I guess."
>Out pops the Dr.
>"Mr. oh fuck it's you again.

>You get up with the box and go to him
>"God damn it you ignorant fuck, what is it this time?"
>he looks down into the box to see Skittles endlessly bouncing around the box like pong
>"New fwein! My name Skittows, he daddy!"
>"Oh, I think I see the problem."
"Yeah?"
>"He's a fluffy pony and you're a dumb twat."
>You forget to laugh and rush past him into the hallway
"This is serious, man, I don't fucking know what to do."
>"Huh. Well you're gonna have to explain what happened, because he looks like you just coated him in rubber."
"I taught him to make carpet angels and he got statically charged and now I can't fix him! He just keeps bouncing all over the place!"
>"Uh huh. I should have known you hadn't equalized him."
"What?"
>"When you get a fluffy, if you have carpets, you're supposed to get a spray and spray his fur once a week. It balances out the electrons, and reduces their conduction of static. But you're a dumbass."
"Uh huh. Well, excuse me if the guy at the pound didn't exactly give me a manual!"
>"We have google now, moron, nothing has a manual anymore."
>He has a point
>"Come on, I'll see what I can do."
>You follow the Dr. into his laboratory

>Dr. Nate grabs the box out of your hands and puts it down on the counter
"Hey, if he's negatively charged, don't we just need to give him something positively charged and let them shock each-other out?"
>Dr. gets serious a bit
>"That would work in theory, but it could cause complications. There have been studies on fluffies that say that their skeletal systems are sorta aligned so that static shocks get kinda funneled to their face regions. It's not definite, but there have been cases of shocks stemming from the eyes and fluffies going blind. We need to do something else."
"Like what?"
>"Skittows dun know whew Skittows is!"
>"Yeah, he's zapping his memories away now. We need to go fast."
>The Dr. goes fishing in his cupboard for a second and pulls out a little box with a red plus on it.
>"These should help."
>he pours the contents of the box into Skittles' box and they litter the floor
>Little marshmallows
"Marshmallows?"
>"Not just marshmallows; special marshmallows, bitch."
>Skittles stops his endless ricochet to observe the new floor of little white nummies
>He stands up as stably as he can on them, his feet sparking with the marshmallows at various intervals
>He looks up
>"Fwuffy nummies?"
>Aw man, he's forgotten his name
"Yes, nummies."
>"New fweind!"
>"Shut up and eat!"
>Skittles jumps a bit and starts to eat them up while you shoot the Dr. a mean look.

>He begins to eat the marshmallows
>A couple times he jumps as they shock his tongue, but he keeps eating
>After a while, the box is devoid of nummies
>"Nummies dun!"
>"Okay, that's it."
"What?"
>"Yep, that should be it. now we just have to wait."
>About 20 minutes pass
>Skittles is bored, and hopping around the box
>"Fwuffy wan' pway wif new fweins! Fwuffy wan' go ouside!"
>"God, is he gonna shut up?"
"Dude, you work with fluffies, I'd have figured you'd be used to it."
>"Fwuffy wan' pway!!"
>"I work with fluffies for minutes at a time. It's been a half-hour. I can't believe you've had this cunt for two weeks."
>"Uh-oohhh..."
>"Alright, it sounds like it's time."
"For what?"
>Dr. Nate sighs and reaches into the box for Skittles
>"Yay! Fingie wide! Go fast! Fwuffy wike fingie game!"
>
>God damn Dr. Nate stole Skittles' first good memory of you
>
>Dr. takes Skittles over to the sink and holds him stiltedly over the sink
>"Fwuffy feew funny."
>"Piss, you dumbass."
>
>The Dr. sighs, and squeezes a bit on Skittles' tummy
>"Tummy feew wewd! Why new fwein' huwt fwuffy?"
>Finally, a thin stream of urine falls from Skittles' genital region

>The piss is apparently magnetic, like that scene in Be Kind Rewind
>It sucks a fork off of the edge of the sink into the drain along with it
>After a minute, Skittles is done
>"Peepees ovew! Tank you daddy!"
>
>You and Dr. Nate freeze a bit and he punts Fluffy back into the box
>Before you go, he hands you a small aerosol can
>"Cut the carpet out of his safe room and spray him after baths."
"Okay."
>As you walk out the door, Fluffy asks, "Whew daddy go!"
>You pay the receptionist and walk out
>On the way to the car, Fluffy's head pops up from the box, looks at you, and says, "Why you take fwuffy away fwom daddy?"
>You stop walking
>
"God damn it..."
>
>A couple tears are shed
>"Why new fwein' sad? You wose daddy too?"
>
>"Pwease don' cwy, fwuffy gif huggies!"
>Fluffy leans out to you and hugs you
>
>

>You and Fluffy are crying together in the parking lot, and it starts to rain
>
>
>"Pweas don' cwy, fwuffy wose daddy too! Wan' pway?"
>
>
>It's raining
>This fluffy is going to drown
>You turn around and take it back to the Dr.'s office
>Carry him under the balcony
>You set his box down gently beside a stone pillar
>"Why put fwuffy down?"
"Fluffy, listen: You have to do something, okay?"
>The pony hesitates, but then nods dutifully
"You have to stay put right here; your new daddy is going to come and pick you up, okay?"
>"New daddy? Yay! Fwuffy gon' pway games and gif huggies an' pway!"
"Just wait here, okay?"
>"Okay fwein!"
>
>You pat Fluffy on the head and walk away
>Step 1
>Step 2
>Step 3
>"Fwuffy no wike dis game!"
>Step 8
>"Fwuffy wan' da-"
>All of a sudden, a huge bank occurs right behind you
>You turn around to see the box tipped over, and the ground around it is scorched with black soot
>What the fuck
>Fluffy got struck by lightning
>
>Shitty half-assed anti-electricity marshmallows, courtesy of Dr. Nate's Shitty Drug Company, Ltd.
>You rush over to see the helpless animal

>At first Fluffy is nowhere to be found, but upon further inspection, he had literally been blasted out of his box and shot to the wall of the building, leaving a trail of ash
>A small part of his left forehoof is on fire
>You rush over and slap at his hoof a couple times, effectively putting the fire out
>You pick up Fluffy and rush him right back into the building
>After a minute and a half, Dr. Nate busts out of the doors
>"Jesus H. Christ, there's no double-visit-discount, okay, pal? You can't just- Shit, what happened to him?"
>Dr. Nate gets to work cleaning off your fluffy and getting him in a comfortable place with a pillow and cleaning the ash off of his fluff and feeding him
>It's a full hour before he wakes up
>Of course you're waiting for him the whole time
>At first it's just nudging eyelids, then they open slightly
>He sees his makeshift hospital bed
>He turns over and sees your face
>
"...How are you feeling?"
>
>"Whew Skittows daddy?"
>Unbelievable
>A lightning strike jogged your fluffy's memory
>You pick Skittles up gently and hug him for a long time
>"Daw daddy gif huggies! Skittows wuv daddy!"
"I love you too, Skittles."

>You take Skittles in the car and fucking drown him in that spray shit
>metaphorically
>The two of you go home and Skittles returns to his safe pen, now static-free
>He immediately heads for George
>"Skittows miss Geowge!"
>George responds silently
>You pat Skittles in the head and play legos with him for a while
>Soon it's 8, Skittles' bed time.
>You tuck him in and say goodnight
"Night, buddy."
>"Skittows not tiuwd!"
"You've had a really long day, Skit, it's time for bed."
>"Okay daddy."
>Apparently he has forgotten banishing George to lego land, he curls up with him in his little fluffy bed
>"I wuv you so much, daddy!"
"I love you too, Skittles. Night."
>You leave a sleeping Skittles in his bed and retreat to your room
>You sit on your bed, briefly mulling over the day's events
>A quick glance over to your end table
>That bag of weed is scissoring you with its eyes

-END-