Hoers

Anonpone and Dadcord #1

Aug 28th, 2015
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  1. DISCLAIMER: A lot of the things in my writing are not deemed canon. I realize that and I write anyway. Read at your own risk.
  2.  
  3. >You open your eyes.
  4. >Another gloomy day at Canterlot Home for Colts.
  5. >You roll onto your side and lift your head to inspect yourself in the window adjacent as the rain slowly drips down the outside.
  6. >As per the usual, your green mane is a mess.
  7. >Oughta get that cut sometime.
  8. >You lick your hoof and press down on the bits that stick up the worst in a futile attempt to flatten them.
  9. >Not working, oh well.
  10. >You wipe your hoof off onto your pale green coat.
  11. >After your weak attempt to fix your mane, you decide to get up and take a look around.
  12. >Most of the other colts are already awake.
  13. >However, this does not seem like any normal day.
  14. >There is far too much excitement for such a gloomy place on an equally-gloomy day.
  15. >One of the colts got his cutie mark.
  16. >Great.
  17. >Just another reason for them to pick on you.
  18. >It's not often that a colt your age gets their cutie mark.
  19. >It's also not often to get one as obscure as a forest green question mark.
  20. >You believe, with what mumbling you've caught here and there, that nopony this age should have their cutie mark.
  21. >There were ideas floating around in your head about what could possibly cause that, but that's hardly what concerns you today.
  22. >The colts here always make fun of you when someone gets a cutie mark with a set purpose.
  23. >You've wondered why you have nothing but a question mark and often chuckle at the coincidence of questioning a question mark.
  24. >But you don't mind the obscurity of it.
  25. >At least, not anymore.
  26.  
  27. >"Oh wow, a magnifying glass!" you hear one of the colts exclaim.
  28. >"Maybe you're gonna be a detective!" says another.
  29. >"Or maybe you'll make glasses!" yet another whispers excitedly.
  30. >"Maybe you're just meant 'uh burn bugs. Anovuh useless skill, just like all of us." says a voice from across the room.
  31. >You don't like this one.
  32. >Out of all of the others here, you especially don't like this one.
  33. >Cobble Dust was a large, older colt who had been here for longer than even you had.
  34. >His light gray coat evenly contrasted his dark gray mane, which definitely fit his rock-themed name.
  35. >And his gravelly personality.
  36. >He was older than everypony in the orphanage other than the ones in charge.
  37. >And at least two hooves taller than the tallest colt here.
  38. >Which obviously means he was the ringleader for all of the boys' shenanigans.
  39. >Most of them involved hurting you.
  40. >He got up and strode across the room
  41. >"You've got some nerve, paradin' around 'n makin' a fool outta yourself, punk."
  42. >The newly-marked colt visibly blanches in fear.
  43. >"Best get in line, bub. Nopony wants a marked col' like you. Shoulda wai'ed."
  44. >You hated his constant pessimism, but you're in no position to speak out.
  45. >His cronies would always have his back.
  46. >"And wha' are you lookin' at, Anon? Jealous of his new mark?" he calls out mockingly.
  47. >You don't say a word.
  48. >That would only get you into trouble.
  49. >And pain.
  50.  
  51. >"Nuffin 'o say there, Anon? Cat got your tongue?"
  52. >His three cronies are surrounding him by this point.
  53. "At least my mark ain't about sweeping roads, Cobble."
  54. >You know he's very sensitive about his broom-and-cobblestone cutie mark.
  55. >The expression on his face whenever you bring it up is always priceless.
  56. >But it never lasts long.
  57. >Before too long, you know you've made a terrible mistake.
  58. >He begins slowly walking over to you, his look of incredulous stupor now replaced by a sinister grin.
  59. >"Anon, what 'ave I told you about keepin' your mouf shut?" he spits with his heavy foreign accent.
  60. "I'm sorry Cobble, but your constant beatings have left my brain all scrambled. Can you please remind me?"
  61. >You put on a stupid smile.
  62. >You know he hates that smile.
  63. >"I hope you don't mind a more.. Physical remedy." he spits.
  64. >His cronies stand you up and hold your front hooves against your back.
  65. >"Hope you don't mind speakin' without teef, Anon."
  66. >He turns around with his plot facing you.
  67. >If only he realized how terribly vulnerable that made him.
  68. >Lots of thoughts race through your head as you're about to be beaten.
  69. >Lots of thoughts that you shouldn't have.
  70. >Like about having hands.
  71. >Ones with thumbs that you can grab things with.
  72. >Or walking around on two legs instead of four.
  73. >As though you were once something else in a past life.
  74. >But these thoughts typically come to a swift halt, and today was no exception.
  75. >His buck was practiced and precise, easily able to knock the apples from a tree at Sweet Apple Acres.
  76. >The rear hooves of the dusty-gray colt connect with your muzzle and your head snaps back.
  77. >As blood spills from your now-broken mouth, you drift out of consciousness, and Cobble's cronies drop your limp body to the ground.
  78. >"Come on boys, we've got things to do."
  79. >Soon thereafter, the sweet, dark waves of unconscious drift around you and eventually pull you into their grasp.
  80.  
  81. >You awake to a start as the "adoption bell" rings.
  82. >Those in charge of the orphanage ring a large, ornate, gold bell that dangles from a steeple above the home whenever somepony comes in interested in adoption.
  83. >Upon trying to lift yourself up, you quickly realize that your legs simply aren't strong enough to support you yet, so you lay back down with a thump.
  84. >You notice one of your eyes is swollen shut, along with missing a few missing teeth that lay scattered upon the floor around you.
  85. >Your blood has been since cleaned up by the janitorial staff, but they obviously don't help with physical injuries.
  86. >The bell stops ringing, letting you know that the boys are all downstairs, lined up and being inspected by the potential parents.
  87. >After a few minutes, you hear your matron begin calling for you.
  88. >You're still not strong enough to stand up, so you attempt to call out.
  89. >You open your mouth to yell, only to slam it shut again as it explodes in pain.
  90. >With no ability to get up or talk, you lay there, waiting for someone to find you.
  91. >Soon, the matron stops calling for you.
  92. >She obviously doesn't care.
  93. >She's made that clear many times.
  94. >Tears begin to stream down your muzzle onto the floor around you.
  95. >You've often felt helpless here.
  96. >But on this occasion, it hits you like a wall.
  97. >You're obviously never going to be adopted into a loving family.
  98. >You'll just have to put up with Cobble and his gang until he ages out with you soon following.
  99. >A few minutes after the matron called for you, you hear hoofsteps coming up the stairs toward the sleeping room.
  100. >The closer you get, the more you can hear of a muted conversation between the matron and the mystery parent.
  101. >They'll no doubt discover you at this rate, but nopony wants a colt as damaged as you.
  102. >Your jaw is obviously broken, which will cost a fortune in bits to repair.
  103. >The hoofsteps eventually reach the opening to the room you're in and pause.
  104. >You hear a shocked gasp from the doorway as they spot you, broken and bleeding.
  105. >Almost immediately, you hear a loud pop next to you.
  106. >You feel a tugging on your entire body and your hair stands on end, signaling that you're being lifted by magic.
  107. >As you're lifted, you let out a cry of pain due to a broken neck being jostled far too much.
  108. >"Oh, I'm so sorry, Anon! Here, let me.."
  109. >You hear a *click!* and your pain immediately ceases.
  110. >"There, that's better, isn't it?" the mystery parent, apparently a male, asks.
  111. >You're lifted around to look upon your savior.
  112. >Your eyes rest upon..
  113. >A chimera.
  114. >"Hello Anonymous," the creature says with a grin. "I'm Discord."
  115.  
  116. -
  117.  
  118. >Discord..
  119. >You've heard rumors. Myths. Legends.
  120. >The things he's done to Equestria are terrifyingly astounding.
  121. >And yet here he stands, holding you aloft.
  122. >His yellow eyes gaze into your own dark-green.
  123. >"I know who you are, Anonymous."
  124. >You're startled by the sudden voice in your head.
  125. >Though it's not a bad startle.
  126. >You already find Discord's voice to be soothing.
  127. >"I know you're bummed out, Anon. Living conditions here aren't exactly the best, but I'm sure I don't have to tell you that."
  128. >You try to tell him something with your own mind, but you simply can't focus hard enough, though he chuckles at your obvious effort.
  129. >"Poor Anonymous! Taken from his homeworld, stripped of his natural form, and endlessly and relentlessly mistreated by those miserable colts.. You make my tender heart bleed!"
  130. >You see a single tear shed from his eye.
  131. >But you know what's about to happen.
  132. >And you can't believe it.
  133. >Tears begin to stream down your face yet again, but these aren't of pain.
  134. >"Don't look like that, Anon. Come give your new dad a hug!"
  135.  
  136. >For a moment, you're too stunned to move.
  137. >Never did you believe you'd hear those words from anypony.
  138. >Especially not the most dangerous chimera in the world.
  139. >You waste no further time in reaching out and pulling Discord into a tight hug.
  140. >He chuckles and returns the gesture with no less force.
  141. >But your moment is very short-lived.
  142. >You hear an oh-too-familiar matron clear her throat.
  143. >"Mister Discord, I believe we now have plenty of things to discuss. Would you mind following me to my office?"
  144. >"Why of course, dear madam." he responds with an exaggerated bow after setting you down.
  145. >The moment your hooves hit the floor, you're right back next to him, rubbing your flank against his leg with his every step.
  146. >It was all too soon before you reached her office.
  147. >"Anonymous, wait out here. We have things to.. Talk about." the matron says without turning to you.
  148. >You didn't like her tone, but none of that registered over the sheer ecstasy you felt.
  149. >"I'll be right back out, boyo." Discord tells you with a wink.
  150. >They proceed into the office and close the door slightly, leaving a crack open.
  151. >Seeing nothing else to do and being the mischievous little colt you are, you plop yourself down and eavesdrop.
  152. >"Now let's talk legality, sir," the matron begins.
  153. >"That should hardly be necessary, ma'am. I'm on full pardo--"
  154. >"I cannot let you walk out that door with Anonymous under my good conscience, Discord."
  155.  
  156. >There's a silence before she continues.
  157. >"I'll have to get official papers through Celestia, and only she knows how long that'll take. Not to mention your previous crime record. Even then, Anonymous is.. He's a different colt. Always picking fights with the other young ones, playing innocent whenever the staff are around, generally causing mischief around the building.. I simply cannot let him go under these circumstances."
  158. >Another silence.
  159. >"Matron Ward.. Can I call you Chary?" Discord begins.
  160. >"You may not. Proceed."
  161. >"Alright. What you simply don't understand, Chary, is that Anonymous is different for reasons you will never be able to comprehend. These are reasons that even /he/ doesn't understand yet. Which is why it must be me to let him know of these things."
  162. >She sighs as you hear her hold a hoof to her head.
  163. >"What 'things', Discord? How are there possibly things about these children that I don't understand?"
  164. >"You do not want to know, Miss Ward. These are things that are simply beyond the mental boundaries of the earth ponies, no racism intended. Magic is not something that your kind was meant to understand."
  165. >"I hardly believe that his story involves that much."
  166. >A longer pause before you hear a chair, presumably Discord's, sliding across the wood floor.
  167. >Discord's tone becomes one colder than ice.
  168. >"Take it from the Lord of Chaos, Chary Ward. There are things that normal ponies are not meant to know. This is one of those things."
  169.  
  170. >Silence lingers in the room like a fog.
  171. >The other colts had since migrated back upstairs and were being rather silent, evidently listening to what was going on in the matron's office.
  172. >You imagine that's exactly what's happening; there was an air-exchange vent leading from the floor of the sleeping room to the ceiling of the office.
  173. >The only things you can hear are Discord clicking his talons along the Matron's desk and the thumping of your own over-anxious heart.
  174. >Before long, the silence is broken:
  175. >"Just.. Sign here."
  176. >Your heart is overwhelmed with joy.
  177. >The tears begin flowing down your muzzle once more.
  178. >But all you can do is sit huddled on the floor, choking back sobs.
  179. >All too soon, the door swings open.
  180. >There, in the doorway, stands the only family you've known.
  181. >He chuckles, then wholeheartedly laughs, picks you up, and hugs you once more.
  182. >Holding you at arm's length, you see that tears had also been freely flowing down his face and onto the floor.
  183. >"Let's go home then, Anonymous. Welcome to the family!"
  184.  
  185. -
  186.  
  187. >"I hope you don't mind teleportation!"
  188. >You have no time to react before you're simply not in the matron's office anymore.
  189. >Instead, you find yourself in a smallish home.
  190. >Definitely a step up from a drafty two-story church.
  191. >The room, though not terribly large, is cozily decorated, with a single-sized bed in a corner, a desk on the wall opposite, a chair /with wheels/ to accompany said desk, and several pictures decorating the walls.
  192. >"I figured I'd skip most of the introductions and go straight to where you'll be living. This is your room now, Anon."
  193. >And what a room it was.
  194. >You were still silently in awe and shock about the whole situation.
  195. >How is it possible that you, of all the good colts in that bunch, were adopted?
  196. >You still can't wrap your mind around it.
  197. >After looking at you, Discord's expression turns from one of sheer elation to one of deep concern.
  198. >"Anon, don't worry. I know that I'm.. Not the most normal creature there is. And I know that I'm going to take some getting used to. But please know that anything I do from here on out will be to help you grow and to make sure that you're the happiest you've ever been."
  199. >This comment almost pushes you over the edge into another fit of happy cries.
  200. >You try to form a response, but that verbal response becomes more physical as you wrap your hooves around him into another hug.
  201. >He bends down and reciprocates the hug, but breaks off almost too short.
  202. >"Would you like to see the rest of the house?"
  203. >You nod in agreement and follow him out the door with a new-found spring in your step.
  204.  
  205. >Immediately outside your door was something you honestly never thought you'd see again:
  206. >A wall.
  207. >Just an ordinary wall that branches off into a hallway.
  208. >Discord leads you down a set of steps into a living room.
  209. >"This is, of course, the living room, though it's not had much living in it for quite some time. I've not been at the house very often in the past few months.. But enough of that!" he says, flamboyantly happy.
  210. >The room is decorated with a couple couches, a coffee table, a few pictures, and..
  211. "Um, Discord? What is.. That?"
  212. >You point your hoof at a long, shiny black box.
  213. >"Oh this? This is a television set. They're all the rage back in your homeworld! I can't believe you've forgotten about them!"
  214. "My homeworl--"
  215. >"Hush now, dear Anonymous. We'll discuss that one later!" he says with a wink.
  216. "Mmph! Mmmmmphhh!"
  217. >You try to talk, but he seems to have taken your mouth away.
  218. >In a very literal sense.
  219. >"Oh dearie me, it seems as though your mouth is gone! Shame, but I think I have one laying around here somewhere.."
  220. >He pulls a suitcase out of thin air and begins rummaging around in it.
  221. >"Will this one suffice?" he asks as he places a mouth on your muzzle.
  222. "Um, I think it will.. I'll keep it.. if it's alright with you.."
  223. >That's definitely not your voice.
  224. >After hearing your new voice, you break into giggles.
  225. >He does too.
  226. >"Whoops! That's not yours! This one is, though!" He replaces your current mouth with one that's much more fitting.
  227. >That doesn't stop the giggles though.
  228. >"Come with me! We'll explore the rest of your new home."
  229.  
  230. >He shows you into a kitchen area, fully decked out with top-of-the-line appliances and an antiquated-looking table
  231. >"This is the kitchen. I'm sure you've seen one of these before."
  232. >You nod and continue following him.
  233. >"The bathroom is just down the hall from your room.. And that's about it!" he finishes with a snap of his fingers.
  234. >Suddenly, you're back in the living room on the couch. He lounges in a floating beach chair with sunglasses and a tropical drink.
  235. "I'm never going to get used to that teleportation, am I?" you ask.
  236. >"Heavens, no! That's what makes it fun! You never quite know where you'll end up!" he tells you with a wave of his arms.
  237. >For the first time in what seems like forever, you laugh.
  238. >He laughs with you, throwing his glasses and drink aside and joining you on the couch.
  239. >You nuzzle up to your new caretaker and he holds you as you slowly begin drifting off.
  240.  
  241. >"My goodness, would you look at the time!" he exclaims, pointing at a wall now full of clocks of all shapes and sizes.
  242. >You look up from your warm spot against him.
  243. >"I'd say it's about time for you to go to sleep!"
  244. >You begin to deny, but you know he's right.
  245. >It's been a trying day and you're exhausted.
  246. >He snaps his fingers and you appear back in your new room, already under the covers of your bed.
  247. >There's a night light illuminating the corner of your room, making it all the more inviting.
  248. >"Now, is there anything I can do for you before you go to sleep?" he asks, kneeling down beside the bed.
  249. >You think for a moment before shaking your head.
  250. >"Alright then. Sleep well and we'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning!"
  251. >He begins to walk out the door.
  252.  
  253. "Wait!"
  254. >He stops suddenly and appears back at the side of your bed.
  255. >"What is it?" he asks with a nurturing look.
  256. "Can you.. Can you stay in here while I fall asleep? I promise you won't have to do it often. It's just that--"
  257. >He cuts you off.
  258. >"Of course I will." he gives you a genuine smile.
  259. >The smile pushes you over the edge.
  260. >You break down into tears once more and hug him tightly.
  261. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
  262. >He hugs you back and quietly shushes you, slowly rocking back and forth and softly petting your mane.
  263. >A few minutes went by before he pulls away, laying you back down.
  264. "Goodnight.. Dad."
  265. >He freezes for a moment before you see a tear run down his face.
  266. >"Goodnight, Anonymous." he says as he leans in to kiss your forehead.
  267.  
  268. -
  269.  
  270. >You are now Discord.
  271. >And today was a great day.
  272. >Of all of the days you've been alive--
  273. >and there definitely have been quite a few
  274. >--today was one of the best.
  275. >Your head is still reeling from the events of the day.
  276. >It was all part of Twilight's (blech!) "rehabilitation", visiting the orphanages.
  277. >You never quite agreed with the method of the purple-smart, but Celestia won't have it any other way.
  278. >You definitely prefer putting up with a silly course of fixation over being a statue.
  279. >It's difficult to believe what you've just signed yourself up for, but..
  280. >How could Twilight have messed up so badly as to bring poor Anonymous from his home?
  281. >And to throw him into the fragile body of a pony..
  282. >That poor colt.
  283. >It's not often that you cry.
  284. >You don't remember crying for at least a century.
  285. >Thinking back on today's shenanigans, you chuckle and rest your head back on your hands as you fall into your trance.
  286.  
  287. >You are Anonymous.
  288. >And you're freaking the fuck out.
  289. >Where are you?
  290. >What is the huge weight settled upon you?
  291. >Why is the bed so comfortable?
  292. >It's all too much.
  293. >You bolt out of the bed and hide in the most obvious place: under the desk.
  294. >Upon hearing the commotion, a sudden pop and a small flash of light signal the entry of Discord via teleportation.
  295. >"Anonymous, what's the matter?!" he quickly asks.
  296. >It's coming back to you.
  297. >You're no longer in the orphanage.
  298. >You were adopted and taken to a home far away from there.
  299. >And most importantly, Discord is now your father.
  300. >You jump from under the desk onto the chair and into the arms of a suspecting Discord.
  301.  
  302. >"There there, it's alright. You're safe here." he coos, holding you close in a hug.
  303. >After a few minutes of that, he sets you down onto the bed.
  304. >"How about some breakfast?" he asks, suddenly full of pep.
  305. >Your stomach rumbles.
  306. >You simply must have forgotten that you were hungry in all of yesterday's commotion.
  307. >That hunger has now resurfaced.
  308. >"I'll take that as a yes. Since it's your first day.. I'll allow breakfast in bed!" he exclaims and snaps his fingers.
  309. >Suddenly, a bed appeared in the middle of the room simply filled to the brim with all kinds of breakfaststuffs.
  310. >It's a bit unorthodox.
  311. >And rather wacky.
  312. >But you suspect that's just the kind of.. thing.. that Discord is.
  313. >He notices your inquisitive gaze.
  314. >"Now I understand that you're definitely not used to any of this, and it may be a bit strange, but I can assur--"
  315. "I love it." you quietly tell him as you give him a big hug.
  316. >"I'm glad you do." he says, laughing.
  317. >You reach over and grab a plate piled high with blueberry pancakes.
  318.  
  319. >After breakfast, Discord clicks his fingers once more and all of the leftovers disappear.
  320. >"Now I'm going to go on downstairs. You're welcome to join me whenever, though I'd suggest getting tidied up!" he tells you.
  321. "But what abou--"
  322. >"I already had the pleasure of bringing your things home and organizing them. You'll find everything in the chest of drawers over there!"
  323. >He points to a spot on the wall where a beautiful rosewood chest of drawers appears.
  324. >You stare at it inquisitively, wondering if he ever gets tired of being completely random.
  325. >"Of course I don't, silly colt!" he says, tousling your mane.
  326. >He can read min--you decide it's best not to question it.
  327. >Maybe later.
  328. >"The bathroom is just to the right outside of your door and down the hall. If you can't find it, just ask the house. It'll tell you."
  329. >As if on command, a glowing green arrow appears outside of your door pointing to the right.
  330. "Thank you."
  331. >"It's my pleasure." he says, giving a mock bow and disappearing with a *pop!*
  332. >You trot over to the chest of drawers and open it tentatively, expecting something to pop out at you.
  333. >To your honest surprise, nothing does.
  334. >Inside he packed your three changes of clothes from the orphanage, along with..
  335. >"Toiletries, new clothes, and a few other things, my dear." Discord's voice tells you from behind you.
  336. >You whirl around and give him a hug.
  337. >"You're awfully full of hugs, Anon!"
  338. >You pull away, smile, grab a change of clothes, and trot down to the bathroom to wash up.
  339.  
  340. -
  341.  
  342. >"If you ever feel like a genius, wait until you have to operate another's washroom."
  343. >You have no idea where this quote came from, but you finally get to put it to the test.
  344. >And oh how true it is.
  345. >Discord's washroom is top-of-the-line, just like the rest of his simple abode.
  346. >Or so you think.
  347. >You've simply not had enough experience with appliances and washrooms and beds to make an accurate generalization.
  348. >Whether the tub is top- or bottom-tier..
  349. >It.
  350. >Is.
  351. >Confusing.
  352. >In that there are absolutely no controls.
  353. >It's just a tub, a shower head, a faucet, and three walls.
  354. >whatthefuck.jpg
  355. >But..
  356. >Maybe..
  357. "Can.. Can you fill up the tub please?"
  358. >You bet on the magic properties of the house that have already been demonstrated.
  359. >The spout erupts to life, spurting steaming water out faster than it should have been able to.
  360. >"Glad to hear that you could figure it out! I figured it was pretty simple, but then, I've never used it!" Discord's voice echoes in your mind.
  361. >You don't know whether to be more terrified that Discord can speak to you wherever you are or that he's never truly bathed in it.
  362.  
  363. >You take a tentative step into the steaming water.
  364. >Though it looks to be incredibly hot, it's..
  365. >OhsweetCelestiathisisamazing
  366. >You flop down into the tub of perfectly temperate water.
  367. >The water should have splashed out by all means.
  368. >And it did.
  369. >But it.. Disappeared before making contact with anything else.
  370. >Again, you find it best not to question it.
  371.  
  372. >After cleaning up and drying off (magically; apparently Discord would simply have it no other way), you make your way out of the bathroom and into the living room where Discord is sprawled across one of the two couches.
  373. >The "television" is now displaying a..
  374. >Moving picture.
  375. >Of other ponies.
  376. >It's emitting sounds as well.
  377. >And those sounds are very catchy.
  378. >You don't often get to hear music, but when you do, you always take it as a treat and enjoy it.
  379. >Something about wrapping winter up and spring being just around the corner..
  380. >You want to enjoy this.
  381.  
  382. >And you do.
  383. >You plop down next to Discord, who jumps in surprise.
  384. >"Oh, Anon! I didn't think you'd be finished so soon!" he quickly says as he makes the moving pictures and music stop suddenly.
  385. "I didn't mean to startle you. I'm sorry."
  386. >"Oh don't be! I'm only playing around, silly." he replies, tousling your mostly-dry mane.
  387. "What was that on the television?"
  388. >"That's called a program, Anon. There are many of them that you can choose from. It's a human invention, so I don't expect you'll see any of them around the homes of any other ponies.."
  389. >What?
  390. "A human invent--"
  391. >"Never you mind, dearest Anonymous. That's something we can discuss a bit later!" Discord finishes with a sing-songy tone.
  392. "So you can watch other ponies with this...?"
  393. >"Sort of. What you're watching was recorded long before it is actually played. So really, you're watching past ponies!"
  394. >This is all too much for you to think about for now.
  395. >You just want to enjoy it with him.
  396. "Can.. we keep watching?"
  397. >He turns to look into your eyes.
  398. >"Anon, first.. Let's talk. There are a few things that you need to know."
  399.  
  400. >He sounded very serious, so you focus all of your all of your remaining attention on him.
  401. "Of course."
  402. >"Now Anon.. You're.. Different. And I'm sure you realize that. Now don't get me wrong, being different isn't exactly a bad thing. Just look at me!" he says as he shrinks himself to the size of a mouse.
  403. >His antics make you happy.
  404. >As if he heard your thoughts (he may have), he plops down on your muzzle and continues.
  405. >"But you're.. Not exactly.. From around here."
  406. "I know. I'm from the orphanage."
  407. >"Not that.. You're from a different world, Anonymous."
  408. "You mean like an alien?"
  409. >"Kind of. You were summoned here by Twilight Sparkle. I'm sure you'll meet her eventually, but that's not the point right now."
  410. >This puts all sorts of ideas into your head.
  411. >Did he only adopt you because you're an alien?
  412. >Is that why you were always bullied?
  413. >Will he leave you behind as soon as you stop being interesting?
  414. >Discord reverts himself back to his full size and sits back down next to you.
  415. >"Now Anon, I know you have a lot of questions. But please know that this has nothing to do with why you are here. You are here because you have stirred emotions in my heart that I had completely forgotten about. Even though you're different.. We can be different together, son."
  416. >As he finishes, he pulls you into a hug, which you reciprocate.
  417. >"Now enough of that. I'll answer all of your questions later. For now.. Let's watch TV."
  418.  
  419. >"But before I turn it back on.. I need to warn you: this show is not meant for colts your age."
  420. "What?"
  421. >"It's more of a.. Well.. It's a bit of a guilty pleasure."
  422. "Okay...?"
  423. >"The program was really made for little fillies."
  424. "Oh, that's silly. We can keep watching though. The music was great."
  425. >You don't exactly know what to expect anyway.
  426. >It's not like you have any prejudice against something you've never even heard of.
  427. >"Well alright. I'll take that."
  428. >He pulls you into the crook of his arm and turns the television back on.
  429. >The music and pictures resume from where they had left off after Discord turned it off.
  430. >On the screen are a number of other colorful ponies.
  431. >Some pegasi, some unicorns, but mostly earth ponies.
  432. >"Oh, right there!" Discord makes the pictures pause on a picture of a particularly peculiar purple pony after a few minutes of watching.
  433. >"That's Twilight Sparkle!"
  434.  
  435. >You only get to take a short look at the unicorn dominating the screen before the pictures resumed.
  436. "And she was the one who brought me here...?"
  437. >"That indeed. And that's Applejack.. Rarity.."
  438. >He continues listing off a few other ponies as they appear.
  439. "And you know these ponies?"
  440. >"I do. They're rather famous, being the previous elements of harmony.. But those are all things for later."
  441. >You'll accept that.
  442. >You just want to spend time with him, after all.
  443. >"But you're going to meet them all soon."
  444.  
  445. -
  446.  
  447. >You feel as though this was supposed to surprise you.
  448. >However, this "surprise" was..
  449. >Significantly underwhelming.
  450. "Great."
  451. >"Well, I.. Figured you'd be much happier getting to meet them. Isn't your waifu one of them...?"
  452. "Wyy-fu?"
  453. >You have no idea what that word means.
  454. >It's definitely fun to say though.
  455. >"The pony that you've picked to be you--Oh yes, I seem to have forgotten. Disregard that, dear sweet Nonnypoo." he finishes with a smile.
  456. >He's definitely sparked your interest though.
  457. "No no, what is it?" you ask, playfully standing on your rear hooves and balancing yourself on his shoulder.
  458. >"Oh, that is quite a bit of information to share. To narrow it down a bit, a waifu is.. More of a figure than anything. A figment of the imagination of those occupying your home planet. They were made-up characters that men set aside as their make-believe marefriend.. Or something to that effect. They often 'save' themselves from dating anyone else, both real and imaginary."
  459.  
  460. >You cock your head inquisitively.
  461. >This sounds absolutely absurd.
  462. >Why would anyone do that?
  463. "But dad, why would anyone want to do that? Wouldn't they want to see the one they love instead of imagining them?"
  464. >You feel Discord tense up beneath your front hooves.
  465. >"I um.. I.. I don't know, Anon, my uh.. My son."
  466. >He's obviously nervous.
  467. >Did you do something wrong?
  468. >You think back to when you used to accidentally upset the matron.
  469. >They weren't things that you really meant to do.
  470. >Things like accidentally making the other boys upset to the point of getting beaten up.
  471. >Or tripping and knocking over her favorite vase.
  472. >Or giving her the wrong look at breakfast time and being sent to do chores while everyone else got to play.
  473. >While thinking about all of this, you sit down in the corner of the couch to save from potentially hurting him again.
  474.  
  475. >You are now Discord.
  476. "But dad, why would anyone want to do that? Wouldn't they..."
  477. >His voice falls on occupied ears.
  478. >You knew that he'd end up calling you by fatherly pronouns eventually.
  479. >Nothing could have prepared you for it, though.
  480. >Is this the kind of responsibility that you've been given?
  481. >Or rather, given yourself?
  482. >You know Anon remembers nothing from before, but this..
  483. >You'll have to talk to her about this later.
  484. >Anon moves away from you now.
  485. >You can see there's a lot on his mind, even without reading it.
  486. "Anon, what's the matter?"
  487. >You float over to him yet again and sit by him.
  488. >"You seemed upset by something that I did. I don't want to keep upsetting you so it won't happen again. I swear."
  489. >You look at him.
  490. >His eyes hold no tears.
  491. >He's genuinely worried..
  492. >By the maker..
  493. >What did that place do to him?
  494. "No no, don't you worry for a second, little one. You've done nothing to upset me. I'm just.. Not used to being a father or being recognized as one yet."
  495. >You feel yourself lapsing into a story as you hold Anon against you.
  496.  
  497. >Anonpone is now you.
  498. >You didn't upset him?
  499. >That's a relief.
  500. >Though it's definitely a difficult relief to believe..
  501. >You'll try to be extra careful from now on.
  502. >He seems visibly affected by something though..
  503. >"Anon, I've.. I guess I haven't really told you much about me yet. And you deserve to know."
  504. >He sighs, then continues.
  505. >"I.. Haven't really always been.. The good guy. I've spent the majority of the past few centuries making the lives around me difficult out of boredom."
  506. "Boredom? Why have you been bored? There's lots to do."
  507. >"I know, little one. But there's not exactly many new things to do for someone who has been alive forever."
  508. >Woah now.
  509. >Alive.. Forever?
  510. >That's a really long time.
  511. >"But over the course of this past year, I've been.. Reforming, to say the least. Celestia figured that her pain-in-the-rear pupil Twilight and her friends would be a good influence on me. So she gave them the task of making me more friendly."
  512. "Well that's good. I like that you're friendly."
  513. >He chuckles.
  514. >"I do too, Anonymous. But in this long life, I've.. Not really been given many happy things. Sure, I have the power to do just about anything that I want, but what kind of happiness can be brought to you if you forced others to do things that they simply don't want to do?"
  515. >He holds onto you a bit tighter.
  516. >"Celestia also thought that going about and spreading happiness with my magic would help bring me to 'justice'. But my point is that.. Whatever I might do, you should know that I'm happier than I have been in millennia. I can't exactly promise to be the best father ever.. I mean, I know that I'm quite different than the stallion next door.. But I want you to be happy. How can I make that happen?"
  517. >He looks at you and you at him.
  518. >You see that his eyes are uncertain, on the verge of breaking.
  519. >The best course of action, you decide, is not one of many words.
  520. >You wrap your hooves around him in a hug.
  521. "You already are."
  522.  
  523. -
  524.  
  525.  
  526. >That, of course, launched you into another five-minute hug.
  527. >You loved those.
  528. >Especially from your new dad.
  529. >You just didn't get enough.. Or any.. of these back at the orphanage.
  530. >But all too soon, it comes to an end.
  531. >"How about we go outside and explore a little bit? It would do you rather good to know the town you live in!"
  532. >Seeing no better alternative, you nod your head in agreement and follow him as he walks toward the door.
  533. >"Oh, but you must be careful! The sun could burn your eyes right out of your head! Definitely wouldn't want that to happen!"
  534. >He snaps his fingers and a pair of sunglasses appears on your muzzle.
  535. >You giggle and follow him out the door.
  536. >Outside is definitely something you didn't expect it to be.
  537. >At the orphanage, all you had to see were run-down buildings on the dirtier side of Canterlot.
  538. >Out here..
  539. >You seem to be in more of a rural town than anything.
  540. >The trees--THEY HAVE TREES--are all green and bright, full of leaves.
  541. >To your left is a dirt path leading to what appears to be the main town.
  542. >To your right, the dirt path ends abruptly about fifty meters out, and another hundred meters after that appeared to be a wall of trees.
  543. >Something about those trees gave off a very bad energy..
  544. >You're definitely going to stay away from there.
  545.  
  546. >"Now Anonymous, to your right is what's called the Everfree Forest. I'm sure I don't have to tell you to not go wandering around in there."
  547. >He's right.
  548. >He didn't have to tell you.
  549. >You definitely don't want to go anywhere near it, let alone in it.
  550. >"And to your left.. Oh, come on, I'll show you!"
  551. >He takes your hoof and begins to float toward the town.
  552. >Seeing as he is Discord, you float along with him.
  553. >There are some things you'll never understand, and he is definitely one of those things.
  554. >You love him anyway though.
  555. >Eventually, you reach the edge of the town.
  556. >A number of ponies are trotting around, even on the outskirts.
  557. >And of course, a number of these ponies stare directly at you.
  558. >Not wanting the attention, you hide behind Discord.
  559. >"Oh, don't you worry about them. They're excited to see a new face in town, Anon!"
  560. >This does little to put you at ease, but if Discord trusts them..
  561. >You re-take your place back at his side as you walk into town.
  562.  
  563. >Just like Canterlot on a much smaller scale, this new place is all a bustle, with ponies walking here and there.
  564. >"Well, my favorite little colt, welcome to Ponyville!"
  565. >The buildings were all smaller than what you were used to.
  566. >Many of them even had thatched roofs.
  567. >You figured that thatch would have died out by now.
  568. >But there were so many ponies here!
  569. >Something was throwing you off though.
  570. "They're all so.. Happy."
  571. >"Well of course they are! They're all happily doing the job that was assigned to them by their cutie mark. Nothing impedes them from doing that job here in Ponyville, unlike in Canterlot, you run into the problem of too many ponies on one job, or simply running out of materials and money!"
  572. "They're all happy just.. Doing their work?"
  573. >"Well of course, there are a few other things that contribute to a good day here in little ol' Ponyville. Like--"
  574. >Just then, a large, pink blob obscures your view and stops your walking.
  575. >"Oh my gosh are you new here?! I haven't seen you here before and I've seen everybody here before and they've all seen me and I don't think you've seen me because I don't remember seeing you and I remember all of the faces I see!"
  576.  
  577. >Not knowing what exactly to do with the current situation, you do what any young, new, previous orphan colt would do:
  578. >Anon casts Scary Chimeradad Meatshield!
  579. >It's not very effective..
  580. >"Hey, come back!"
  581. >The poofy pink pony follows you around to your hiding place behind Discord's legs.
  582. >So naturally, you run to the other side of him.
  583. >Discord, given actual time to react, reaches around and holds the pony in place.
  584. >"Pinkie, listen to me. He is scared easily. Now calm down a bit and try again."
  585. >The named pony nods her head, inhales deeply, and exhales once more.
  586. >Her poofy pink hair seemed to get a bit less poofy as she exhaled.
  587. >Again, she walks up to you, but in a much calmer manner.
  588. >"Hi there! My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, but my friends call me Pinkie!"
  589. >You come out from your hiding place behind your shield.
  590. "Uh.. Hi.. I'm Anonymous.."
  591. >"That's a cute name! I'm gonna call you Nonnie!"
  592. >She reaches her hoof out for you to shake.
  593. >You grab her hoof in your own, but she quickly pulls you in and whispers in your ear:
  594. >"I know you don't know me now, but I throw the best parties! Your welcome-to-town party is gonna be the best! I'll go tell the others to calm down a little so they don't scare you too, alright? Bye!"
  595. >She pulls away, pulls a small white pellet out of her poofy hair, stands on her back legs, and throws the pellet onto the ground where it explodes into a puff of smoke.
  596.  
  597. >And just like that, she was gone.
  598. >In her place were two pink envelopes.
  599. >Discord reaches down and picks up the envelopes, and upon closer inspection..
  600. >"Well then Anon, it looks like you're already accepted as one of the townspeople! Look. She's already got a time set for your party!"
  601. >And does she ever.
  602. >The invitation was ornately decorated, with frills around the edges of the parchment and glitter everywhere.
  603. >And you mean everywhere.
  604. >It somehow has already made its way onto your muzzle and into your hair.
  605. >There are some things you'll just never understand.
  606. >Apparently that pink pony was one of those things.
  607. >But a party..
  608. "Dad, what's a.. Party?"
  609. >He turns to look at you.
  610. >"You've never been to a party?"
  611. "No. What is it?"
  612. >"Well Anon, to start, a party is--"
  613. >From kilometers away, you hear a "WHAT?!"
  614. >In a flash, Pinkie returns to your face.
  615. >"YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY?!"
  616. >You shake your head.
  617. "I don't even know what that is."
  618.  
  619. >Pinkie gasps, holding her front hooves to her mouth in shock.
  620. >"Yes Pinkie, Anonymous has never been to a party. I just adopted him from the Canterlot Home for Colts. Now calm down and--"
  621. >"NONNY YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY AND DISCORD YOU'RE A DAD NOW AND OH MY GOSH THIS IS GONNA BE HIS FIRST PARTY AND RAINBOW DASH OH MY GOSH THIS IS GOING TO BE NONNY'S FIRST PARTY EVER AND I GET TO HOST IT OH MY GOSH!"
  622. >The named mare is extracted from under a rock by one of Pinkie's front hooves.
  623. >You choose not to question it.
  624. >"Wha..? Pinkie, I was busy sleeping. Can't you find something bett--"
  625. >The blue pony notices you behind Discord.
  626. >"Uh, Discord, who is.. That..?"
  627. >"Well Rainbow Dash, this here--Pinkie, what did I tell you about calming down?"
  628. >Pinkie nods at Discord, but instead of calming down, she runs behind the nearest tree and continues freaking out.
  629. >"As I was saying, Rainbow Dash, this is Anonymous. He's new in town and is with me. I'm just showing him around the place for the day."
  630. >Rainbow Dash bends her neck at you from around Discord, and after she notices you, she trots right up to you.
  631. >"Well hi there! I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria!"
  632. >As she finishes her line, she strikes a pose similar to what you'd expect a hero to look like.
  633. >Though you're hardly impressed.
  634. "I'm Anonymous."
  635. >"Well then Anonymous, what are you doing parading around with this big loser--"
  636. >She gestures toward Discord.
  637. >"--when you could be flying around with the best? I could get you the coolest aerial view of the whole city!"
  638. >The offer does sound rather tempting.
  639. >But you've only just met this mare.
  640. "I uh.. I don't like heights."
  641. >She almost looks offended for a moment, but regains her composure quickly.
  642. >"Well then, I guess that offer will be for another time. But I should get back to napping. See you around 'Non!"
  643. >And she takes off.
  644. >These ponies are strange.
  645.  
  646. -
  647.  
  648. >Instead of walking on, you and Discord stand there in silence, waiting to be interrupted yet again.
  649. >"Now I know they're awfully rambunctious but this is.. Don't worry, Anon. They're not always like this." Discord says as he clutches at his temples.
  650. "Is it just because I'm here?" you ask.
  651. >"I would assume so. But that's definitely not a bad thing. They'll calm down soon enough. In the meantime, let's continue on, shall we?"
  652. >You nod your head and fall into step beside Discord.
  653. >Not ten steps in, you're interrupted by a bright flash of light, accompanied by a "Gasp!"
  654. >Rubbing your now-hurting eyes, you look to find none other than Twilight Sparkle standing in front of you wearing a face of pure excitement.
  655. >"Twilight, please, contain your excitement. We don't want poor Anon to be more terrified than he already is!" Discord says.
  656. >Almost immediately, Twilight tries to launch herself into a string of excited gibberish but finds herself rendered unable.
  657. >"Now what did I just say? Shouldn't the 'princess of friendship' have a bit more self control than that?" The new owner of both Twilight's mouth and voice says.
  658. >You can see she's suddenly fuming, but takes a moment to calm herself down.
  659. >"That's better. Now can you contain yourself?"
  660. >She nods.
  661. >By this time, you've already taken refuge in your pseudo-fortress behind Discord, who returns Twilight's mouth.
  662. >She quickly inhales and exhales, removing what was left of her untamed excitement.
  663. >"Hi! My name is Twilight Sparkle!" she shouts, running up to you and giving you a hug. "And you are the most adorable little colt I have ever seen!"
  664. >You don't exactly know how to take this new onslaught of hugs.
  665. >And you're sure she knows it, but disregards it anyway.
  666. >"Twilight! What did I just get done telling you? He's excitable!" Discord says as he snaps his fingers, teleporting her in front of him.
  667. >"Yes. Sorry. I will calm down. Let me try again." She begins.
  668.  
  669. >You slowly walk back to Discord's side, trusting that you won't be attacked yet again.
  670. >"Now Anon, my name is Princess Twil--"
  671. "I know who you are." you tell her.
  672. >"Oh you do? Of course you do! I guess my name really has gotten around. Well you can call me Twilight!" she happily exclaims.
  673. >You deign not to tell her that you only know her because of the short program you watched with Discord.
  674. >She probably wouldn't be too happy about you watching her.
  675. >"So why are you marching around with Discord? Are your parents okay with you being with him?"
  676. >You look down at the ground.
  677. "He is my parent." you quietly say.
  678. >You can almost hear Twilight's jaw hitting the floor.
  679. >"W-wh-what? Discord, did you.."
  680. >"Well Twilight, I honestly haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about!" he responds as he begins lounging on a cloud.
  681. >You hop on up next to him because it looks comfortable.
  682. >"Discord, did you adopt Anon?"
  683. >"Well Anon, did I adopt you?" he asks, looking at you.
  684. >You look back at him and nod your head, smiling.
  685. >Twilight just stares at you with utter bewilderment.
  686. >"Now then Twilight, he and I must be off. Lots of things to see in such little time, after all! Come, Anon. We'll go grab a bite to eat."
  687. >The cloud dissipates under you, but you float to the ground weightless.
  688. >It's as if he thinks of everything!
  689. >You follow Discord past the stammering purple alicorn toward a small cafe.
  690.  
  691. >Sitting down at a table, Discord conjures up a couple menus.
  692. >Almost immediately, a happy mare walks over to you.
  693. >"Hi! Would you two like to start out with something to drink?"
  694. >You decide that you want a water, while Discord has a tea.
  695. >The mare smiles and walks back into the cafe to grab your drinks.
  696. >"See Anon? Not everyone here is as crazy as those ponies you met." Discord says, chuckling.
  697. "But they're all still so happy."
  698. >"That's how these small towns work, Anon. Everyone is happy doing exactly what they're supposed to. Not the chaos of trying to figure out how live day after day. They all look after each other. And eventually, they'll help to look after you, too."
  699. >You can't help but smile.
  700. >You've never had anyone really care for you.
  701. >At least, not that you can remember.
  702. >You had been in the orphanage for as long as your memory allows.
  703. >But now you're not.
  704. >You have people all around you who are happy to get to know you.
  705. >You have friendships sparking left and right.
  706. >And you have a dad.
  707. >It's all too much to handle.
  708. >You launch yourself across the table to give Discord a flying hug.
  709. >He laughs and accepts you into his arms.
  710. >"Um.. Hi."
  711.  
  712. >This is an unfamiliar voice.
  713. >You turn out of your hug to see a yellow pegasus.
  714. >"Oh, Fluttershy! I was just going to find you after Anon and I have a bite to eat." Discord quickly says.
  715. >"No, it's alright. I just saw you as I was walking by, so I figured I would join.. If that's alright with you.." she almost whispers the end of that.
  716. >"Of course it is! Pull up a chair and sit down! Or better yet, let me.."
  717. >He snaps his fingers and is suddenly behind Fluttershy in a tuxedo.
  718. >He pulls a chair out of thin air and pushes it in for her.
  719. >As she hits the chair, she gives a quiet "eep!", and Discord appears back in his own chair.
  720. >"So Fluttershy, I'd like to introduce you to Anonymous. He's.. Well.."
  721. "Discord adopted me." you tell her.
  722. >Her jaw almost falls to the table.
  723. >"Now now, don't worry. It'll be alright. He's almost to the point where he could even take care o--"
  724. >She jumps out of her chair.
  725. >"Oh my goodness! This is wonderful Discord! You're a father now!"
  726. >She launches herself at him in an attempt to rival your own flying hug.
  727. >Though it works, you don't think she gives better hugs than you do.
  728. >"Yes yes, my dear. I am indeed."
  729. "And a pretty good one, too." you quietly add.
  730. >She pulls out of her hug with a look of shock on her face.
  731. >"Does.. does that mean.."
  732. >"Of course it does, if you'll accept."
  733. >"Of.. of course.. if that's alri--" she isn't even able to finish her sentence before she faints.
  734. >"I brought your drinks, but do you need a third?" the waitress asks, now standing next to your table.
  735.  
  736. -
  737.  
  738. >You end up deciding on a water and a simple green salad for the fainted pony.
  739. >This also happens to be what you got, though Discord seems content without food.
  740. "So what exactly uh.. What happened?"
  741. >"Well that'll take some explaining. So Fluttershy and I--"
  742. >He's interrupted by the sound of the named pony coming to.
  743. >After she realizes that you both are staring, she quickly "eep!"'s and jumps into her chair, blushing.
  744. >"I'm sorry for that.." she quietly says.
  745. >"Quite alright, yellow one." Discord assures her. "I was just telling Anon about our arrangements.
  746. >"Oh yes! He ought to know. If you're willing to hear, of course.." she says with a look in your direction.
  747. "I was just asking. I do want to know."
  748. >"Of course he wants to know! He lives in the house, so he'd find out eventually!"
  749. >Fluttershy giggles.
  750. >"Well Anon, there are going to be a few new changes to your life. Not that there haven't been too many in the past few days." he begins.
  751. "And what are these changes?"
  752. >"Anon, I'd like for you to meet your new mother!"
  753.  
  754. >Now it's your turn to let your jaw hit the table.
  755. >"And what a mother she'll turn out to be! There simply isn't a nicer pony alive!" Discord says, tousling Fluttershy's hair.
  756. >"Of course, if it's alright with you, Anon.." the pretty pink-haired pegasus tells you.
  757. >Wait just a second.
  758. "So you two are--"
  759. >"No no! Not at all! That's just what I was about to tell you!" he continues.
  760. "Please do."
  761. >"Well Fluttershy and I have lived together for quite some time. As you are well aware, I.. Wasn't the best back in the day, always causing mischief and chaos wherever I went. Only fitting for a god of chaos though. But Celestia and Luna only let me out of my statue if I promised to reform, and what better way to reform than to be placed with the nicest pony in Equestria?"
  762. >The named mare blushes.
  763. >"But Fluttershy and I were never really.. Together. We only live together. And she's going to help me to be the best dad I can!" he reaches over and pulls her into a side hug.
  764. >She lets out yet another "eep!".
  765. >"Anon.. Are you.. Okay with animals?" she asks.
  766. >You can't imagine why she'd ask such a strange question.
  767. "I think I am." you hesitantly answer.
  768. >You've not had much experience with many animals, after all.
  769. >"Well then, I'd like to introduce you to one.. if that's alright.."
  770. >You nod your head.
  771. >"Angel, you can come out now!" she quietly says.
  772.  
  773. >Almost immediately, you hear a high-pitched squeaking as a white rabbit fights its way out of her long, pink hair.
  774. >In this moment, you realize why your cutie mark is a question mark.
  775. >You simply don't understand any of these ponies.
  776. >Angel makes his way onto the table where he crosses his arms and begins thumping his foot impatiently.
  777. >"Now Angel, this is Anonymous. He's going to be staying with us now!"
  778. >The rabbit makes his way over to where you sit.
  779. >He looks you up and down, still frowning.
  780. >"Don't worry Angel, he's nice. He's only a colt, after all." Fluttershy tells him.
  781. >Angel continues looking at you for a moment before jumping on your muzzle and giving you a hug.
  782. >From what you can see, even Discord is surprised by this turn of events.
  783. >"But how.. Angel doesn't like anyone.." he stammers.
  784. >You giggle and pull the rabbit off of your face to set him back down on the table.
  785. >Instead of the table, the rabbit makes his way onto your head and lays down.
  786. >"Awh, he likes you!" Fluttershy coos.
  787. >Just then, the waitress comes back to your table and levitates trays of food to both you and Fluttershy.
  788. >Angel gets up for a moment and stares at Fluttershy while thumping his foot on your head.
  789. >"Um.. Can we please get one more salad? If it's alright.."
  790.  
  791. >With food in your stomach and a happy rabbit on your head, you depart from the roadside cafe.
  792. >Fluttershy deemed to tag along with you and Discord until you head back home.
  793. >It was, of course, alright with you two.
  794. >As you walked down the street toward the central plaza, you're intercepted by yet another unicorn.
  795. >This was starting to get repetitive.
  796. >"Oh darling, what /are/ you wearing?!" the new pony accosts.
  797. "It's just a shirt.." you begin.
  798. >"No no, that will /not/ do! Come with me and we'll get you sorted out.." the mare finishes.
  799. >Just as quickly as she arrived, she was gone.
  800. >However, she apparently wasn't finished.
  801. >You were suddenly enveloped in magic and began to follow along to where she went.
  802. >Naturally, you freak the fuck out, flailing your legs around in the air as you're dragged off to unknown places.
  803. >But Discord is not having any of this.
  804. >He quickly snaps his fingers and you fall to the ground
  805. >"Anon! Are you alright?" he appears at your side and picks you up, brushing the dust off of you.
  806. "I'm fine.. Just shaky." you reply.
  807. >He glares off in the direction of the white unicorn.
  808. >"That's Rarity. She can be rather daft sometimes, caring about nothing but fashion. I'm sorry for her rash actions, Anon."
  809. "No no, I'm fine. It's okay."
  810. >"Well, we might as well follow her because she simply won't give up. And we ought to explain just who you are." Discord asserts.
  811. >And just like that, you appear in a large, circular room filled with costumes, dresses, and sewing materials, startling the small white unicorn within.
  812.  
  813. >Well that was most certainly something.
  814. >You came looking for a white unicorn.
  815. >You got a white unicorn.
  816. >However, this is the wrong white unicorn.
  817. >"Oh hi Fluttershy! Looking for my sister? She's upstairs working on a project! Said it's urgent and that somepony out there is in a fashion crisis!" the unicorn tells your party.
  818. >"Oh, why thank you Sweetie Belle! If she's busy, we'll just be--"
  819. >"I hope she doesn't mind a few.. Unexpected visitors." Discord tells her.
  820. >"It probably wouldn't be the best idea to go bothering her right now. She gets.. Scary when she concentrates." Sweetie tells you.
  821. >There was a bit of banter after her last comment, but you have lost all interest.
  822. >Your eyes have been glued to Sweetie Belle.
  823. >She's..
  824. >You like her voice.
  825. >It's easy to listen to.
  826. >And you like the colors of her hair.
  827. >And her mane.
  828. >And--
  829. >"Come now Anon, we must be going. We have a meeting with the mare upstairs." Discord tells you, grabbing you with his magic and putting you on his back.
  830. >You wave to Sweetie as you're carried up the stairs.
  831. >She giggles.
  832.  
  833. >Up the stairs you go, on the back of a war machine!
  834. >Or what's definitely as good as a war machine.
  835. >You trust what Discord has the capability to handle.
  836. >You've chosen your arsenal well.
  837. >Discord reaches the top of the stairs and opens the door into what seems to be yet another studio.
  838. >The white mare across the room behind the sewing machine jumps as you enter, definitely not expecting guests.
  839. >"Sweetie, I thought I told you to--Oh why hello you three! Care to put in a word for your order? I'm trying to put it out as fast as I can, but you know me! I have my limits too!" She lets out a weak laugh.
  840. >"As much as I'd like to give my opinions, that's not what we're here for, Rarity." Discord tells her.
  841. >"Oh? Then what is.." Rarity trails off as she realizes that she does not in fact know you.
  842. >"Rarity, this is Anonymous. He's quite new to town."
  843. "Hi." You weakly add.
  844. >"Well hello darling! As you've no doubt heard, I'm Rarity and I'm what keeps this town's fashion right up to date!" She tells you with a flourish.
  845. >"Now Rarity, he's still getting used to the town and its people and he's rather excitable. So if you would please pass the word around to your other friends to not be terribly obnoxious. It's been a trying day for this poor colt!" Discord says.
  846. >"Why of course! I do apologize for my actions earlier. They were rather.. Brutish, to say the least. But I can assure you that none of that will /ever/ happen again from me!" She gives you a wink.
  847. >"Well, now that that's out of the way, we had best be going. Lots of things left to do to day, after all!"
  848. >Your party turns to walk out the door.
  849. >"Oh, Fluttershy dear, would you mind staying back with me? I have a few things that I need your help with." Rarity asks.
  850. >The named yellow mare turns to look at Discord.
  851. >"We'll be fine. You can stay back and help your friend if you want." Discord tells her.
  852. >"I guess I can do that.." Fluttershy quietly says.
  853. >"Splended! Now if you could just come ov--"
  854. >She is cut off by her simply not being near you anymore.
  855.  
  856. -
  857.  
  858. >You are now walking back to the house with Discord after being teleported outside.
  859. >You never really liked magic.
  860. >Far too jarring.
  861. >But Discord's magic was enjoyable.
  862. >You're sure Sweetie's was, too..
  863. "Who was that unicorn?"
  864. >"Well, I had thought you knew, Anon. That was Rarity. She's one of Fluttershy's friends."
  865. "No no! The other one!"
  866. >"Why, that was Sweetie Belle. She's Rarity's sister. Why do you ask?"
  867. "N-no reason" you say as you begin to blush.
  868. >Discord stops dead in his tracks.
  869. >"Anon, you don't.. Like her, do you?" he asks, smiling from ear to ear.
  870. "No! How could you l-like someone that you d-don't even know?" you stammer.
  871. >"Oh, you do, you little heartbreaker!" he exclaims as he begins to skip toward the house.
  872. "I do not!" you yell as you gallop after him.
  873. >He stops yet again, holding his hands to his mouth.
  874. >"Does that mean I get to set up your first date? And your introductory playdate? Anon, this is wonderful!" he shouts as he resumes skipping.
  875. >You continue galloping after him, denying his accusations all the while.
  876.  
  877. >You finally make it home.
  878. >"Goodness Anon, I'm beat! How was your first day out? Did you enjoy it?" Discord asks as he flops down onto the couch.
  879. >You nod and curl up next to him as he turns on the television once again, and it begins playing the same pony program from before.
  880. "Daddy, did all of this really happen?" you ask, gesturing to the television.
  881. >"It did indeed, little Anon. You'll definitely be able to learn a lot about the ponies here from watching this." Discord tells you.
  882. >You deign to continue watching episodes with him.
  883. >It doesn't really matter what you do anymore.
  884. >You just want to spend time with him.
  885. >All too soon, you see the front door open and Fluttershy walk in.
  886. >"Welcome home, my favorite yellow pony!" Discord calls from his place on the couch with you.
  887. >"Why thank you. Goodness Anon, you're still awake?" she asks, astounded.
  888. >You nod.
  889. >Of course you're still awake.
  890. >Why wouldn't you be?
  891. >"Heavens Anon, she has a point! It's far past your bedtime!" Discord tells you, showing you his now-existent watch.
  892. >And they're both right; it is incredibly late.
  893. >You listen to their suggestions and head upstairs to prepare yourself for bed.
  894.  
  895. >You are now Discord.
  896. >And today was just as phenomenal as the last.
  897. "So how was your time with Rarity?" you ask.
  898. >"Um.. It was okay." she responds.
  899. >Fluttershy was never really a talker.
  900. >And you understood that.
  901. >"So um.. You adopted Anonymous yesterday?" she quietly asks.
  902. >You nod.
  903. >"And you want me to help you parent him?"
  904. "Of course I do. He can definitely learn a lot from such a nice mare!" you say as you float behind her and begin massaging her shoulders.
  905. >As always, she lets out an "eep!".
  906. "I'm sure I could learn a thing or two from you as well."
  907. >"So you're his new father." she asserts.
  908. >You give her an affirmative.
  909. >"And you want me to be his mother."
  910. "I would very much like that."
  911. >"Does that mean.. Never mind." she quickly says as she begins to walk upstairs.
  912. >Her feelings for you are very obvious, though it's not often that you find a pony that can conceal such feelings.
  913. >You wonder if she'll ever get the courage to ask.
  914. >Though you dread having to turn her down.
  915. >She's such a good friend..
  916. >But you're immortal.
  917. >Nothing really ever lasts.
  918.  
  919. >You are now Anon.
  920. >And your most recent bath was just as delightful as the last.
  921. >You definitely enjoy living here more than you enjoyed the orphanage.
  922. >After drying off, you trot into your room to find Discord already waiting for you.
  923. >You smile.
  924. >He really cares about you.
  925. >"I hope I'm wanted tonight." he begins.
  926. >You nod happily as you crawl under your blankets.
  927. >"Tomorrow, we'll go explore once again. Just you and me, ol' pal. We have ponies to meet and places to see!" he quietly tells you as he pets your mane.
  928. >You like it when he does that.
  929. >It's soothing.
  930. >You wonder if Sweetie would like it, too.
  931. >Catching yourself thinking about her once more, you blush again.
  932. >"And maybe we'll get to meet Sweetie tomorrow, too!" he says and chuckles.
  933. "I don't like her though!" you push him away and roll onto your side, but you can't hide your smile.
  934. >"I'm sure you don't, my little heartbreaker. But you need your sleep, so here's where I'll leave you for tonight." Discord tells you.
  935. >As if on cue, you yawn and your eyelids begin to feel heavy.
  936. >"Goodnight, my dear, sweet Anonymous." Discord quietly says and kisses you on your forehead.
  937. "Goodnight Daddy.." you say as you begin to drift off.
  938. >He begins to walk out your door, but you won't have that.
  939. "Wait! Can I ask you something?" you call out.
  940. >"Of course. What is it?" Discord asks, walking back in.
  941. "Tomorrow night.. Can you.. Read me a bedtime story?" you quietly ask, turning away.
  942. >"Of course I can. We'll pick one out together, alright?"
  943. >You nod happily and once more begin to drift off into the peaceful folds of sleep.
  944.  
  945. -
  946.  
  947. >Your dreams are plagued by nightmares once more.
  948. >This isn't out of the ordinary, as they've occurred for more nights than you care to remember.
  949. >In this one, you were being chased through a dark forest by.. Something.
  950. >All you were aware of was a large sense of dread and anxiety about whatever was behind you.
  951. >Suddenly, a blinding white flash erupts in front of you.
  952. >And just as suddenly, you were now in an open field, far from the forest you were once in.
  953. >"Don't you worry Anon, you're safe here." a mysterious voice tells you.
  954. >You look around until you spot a dark, beautiful alicorn near you.
  955. >Before you can say anything, she disappears, leaving behind..
  956. >A picnic.
  957. >With Sweetie.
  958. >"Oh hi Anon! Glad you could make it!" she calls to you.
  959. "Of course I made it! A date isn't a date with just one person, silly!" you say unconsciously.
  960. >She giggles.
  961. >You love the sound of her giggle.
  962. >Soon you're giggling right along with her.
  963. >The giggles turn to laughter as you lay down next to her on the blanket.
  964. >Eventually those laughs stop and she looks at you with a look you know too well.
  965. >Sweetie begins to lean her head in toward you..
  966. >"Goooooood morning, Anon!" Discord shouts, opening the shades in your room.
  967. >You bolt upright in your bed.
  968. >"Sleep well?" he asks, moving to sit next to your bed.
  969. "You interrupted my dream!" you tell him, playfully angry.
  970. >"Oh did I now? Was it about Sweeeeeetie?" he jabs.
  971. "Of course not. Why would I dream about her?" you lie, laying back down and turning so he can't see your blush.
  972. >"I'm sure you didn't!~ Now hurry up! It's time for breakfast, and after that, you're going exploring once more!" he exclaims.
  973. "Five more minutes!" you moan.
  974. >And suddenly you were in the dining room downstairs.
  975. >You wonder about him sometimes.
  976.  
  977. >And once more, you set out toward the town.
  978. >Only this time, Discord does not accompany you physically, though he claimed that "he'd be watching."
  979. >Whatever that means.
  980. >You're very tentative on this trip though.
  981. >It's really your first time being alone.
  982. >But you've almost made it to Ponyville, so you won't /really/ be alone.
  983. >Too bad that's all the further you really make it.
  984. >"Well hi there!" you hear a voice call.
  985. >You turn around to find a trio of fillies trotting toward you.
  986. >Among them is Sweetie Belle.
  987. >You suddenly begin to clam up.
  988. >"Sweetie told us that there'd be a new colt out around here!" one of the fillies chimes.
  989. >Still in shock, you say nothing, but you hold your ground.
  990. >"Mah name's Applebloom!" the yellow one tells you.
  991. >"And I'm Scootaloo!" the orange one behind Applebloom says, taking what was meant to be a "cool" stance.
  992. >"And I think you already met Sweetie Belle." Applebloom remarks tentatively.
  993. >You nod.
  994. "Though it wasn't exactly the longest meeting.." you say quietly, blushing.
  995. >"Well shoot, since you're new, why not let us show you around a little?" she asks, somehow emphasizing her southern accent.
  996. >"It'll be fun!" Sweetie announces.
  997. >You like her voice.
  998. >And you definitely can't say no to it.
  999. "Well okay.. But my dad showed me most of the places yesterday.." you begin.
  1000. >"No no no! Not all of /those/ places. We wanna show you /our/ places!" Scootaloo tells you.
  1001. >After thinking for a moment, you consent to following their antics.
  1002. >You feel as though you're going to regret this.
  1003.  
  1004. >You are now Discord.
  1005. >And you're sitting in a floating beach chair sipping from a coconut.
  1006. >Now this would be the absolutely perfect situation..
  1007. >.. if not for the visibly displeased yellow mare across from you.
  1008. >"But.. Discord, I thought we agreed on never watching that show again.." Fluttershy tells you.
  1009. "Come now, my dear. It's only the best source of entertainment that I've had in centuries! I can't be expected to simply give it all up like that!"
  1010. >She shakes her head.
  1011. >"I didn't expect you to.. But you had to show little Anon?" she accuses.
  1012. >You're not used to this side of Fluttershy.
  1013. >It's almost alien to you.
  1014. "I was only trying to inform him of the town. Anything else he learned was simply a byproduct." you assert, crossing your arms and looking away.
  1015. >"But that show.. It's meant for little fillies his age! Is he.. Alright with that?"
  1016. >You chuckle.
  1017. "Well how can he have a position on something that he simply isn't aware of?"
  1018. >She visibly flinches.
  1019. >"Discord, you need to tell him.." she quietly says.
  1020. >The wild Fluttershy uses bring the feels!
  1021. >It's super effective!
  1022. "So what if he's not alright with it? He enjoys it, doesn't he? Why put such a needlessly cruel stigma behind such an innocent thing?"
  1023. >Discord uses logic!
  1024. >It's not very effective...
  1025. >"You need to tell him." she asserts.
  1026. >Fluttershy uses cute when upset!
  1027. >It's super effective!
  1028. "... Alright. I'll tell him when he gets back." you grumble.
  1029. >Discord fainted!
  1030. >You lounge back in your chair once again and pull a new coconut into existence.
  1031.  
  1032. -
  1033.  
  1034. >You are once again Anonymous.
  1035. >And you are tagging along with the so-called Cutie Mark Crusaders.
  1036. >You wonder why you're being taken with them.
  1037. >A question mark already boldly stands out against your green flank.
  1038. >Where are they taking you, anyway?
  1039. >"The first place we're gonna show you is our clubhouse!" Applebloom exclaims, as though on cue.
  1040. >"Also the only place.." Sweetie mumbles.
  1041. >Scootaloo lightly kicks her and Sweetie yelps.
  1042. "Oh."
  1043. >You concede your excitement for exploring new places, but you're still just as enthusiastic to see their clubhouse.
  1044. >Can't say you've ever been in one of those before.
  1045. >"Don't worry Anon, it'll still be fun!" Scootaloo tells you.
  1046. "I'm still here, right? Let's keep going!" you excitedly, though with terrible fake excitement, tell them.
  1047. >They look at each other, smiling from ear to ear.
  1048. >Your smile immediately disappears when you can almost see the gears in their heads turning.
  1049. >You've made a horrible mistake.
  1050.  
  1051. >After being toted along for several kilometers, you finally arrive at a large, peach-colored house in a tree.
  1052. >This has to be it.
  1053. >"This is it, Anon!" Applebloom excitedly tells you.
  1054. >On cue.
  1055. >Though that walk made you rather hungry..
  1056. >"Come on! Let's go inside! Don't worry, we have snacks and stuff in there for all of us!" Scoots says.
  1057. >You're getting sick of these cues.
  1058. >As you walk up the stairs, you freeze in your steps as you enter some sort of flashback.
  1059. >...
  1060. >You're much taller than you're supposed to be.
  1061. >And your senses are.. Dull.
  1062. "Twilight, I'm not entirely sure about this.." you say.
  1063. >"Oh, don't be such a colt about this, Anon! Surely she'll just adore you!" Twilight happily exclaims.
  1064. >You shift uncomfortably in the booth seat that you chose for yourself.
  1065. >In a fancy restaurant?
  1066. >Why would she want to meet here?
  1067. >"Oh oh! Here she comes! Act natural, Anon!" You hear a *pop!* as Twilight magics herself away.
  1068. >But in truth, you weren't sure about it at all.
  1069. >You didn't /want/ to be set up with anyone.
  1070. >But here you were, wearing your best clothes and sitting in a booth seat at a fancy restaurant.
  1071. >Truth be told, you eyes were really only for one pony, and..
  1072. >"Oh, why good afternoon, Anon! I'm so sorry, but it's time to wake up." Princess Luna tells you from the side of your booth.
  1073. >"You'll understand soon.
  1074.  
  1075. >Her voice was enough to send you reeling back to your right mind.
  1076. >"Anon? Are yew okay?" Applebloom asks.
  1077. >The three crusaders surround you with concerned looks on their faces as you stare up at them from the ground.
  1078. "Y-yeah.. Just.. Let me get up and we'll go inside."
  1079. >They all begin to understand personal space and back up, letting you get on your hooves.
  1080. >"What happened? Are you hurt? Do you need our help?" Sweetie asks, suddenly incredibly concerned.
  1081. >She's cute when she's concerned.
  1082. >You think for a moment, debating on whether you should tell them or not.
  1083. "I don't know.. One second, I was walking. The next, I'm on the ground with you surrounding me."
  1084. >Your lie isn't well-formed, but it should put them at ea--
  1085. >"Okay Anon! Let's go!" Applebloom cheerfully says.
  1086. >You follow them through the door of their peachy-keen clubhouse.
  1087. >Chuckling to yourself for devising such a pun, you're given a piece of paper, complete with near-illegible words.
  1088. >"This here's the Cutie Mark Crusader Legal Contract!" Applebloom cheerily tells you.
  1089. >"We just want to make sure that nothing you say happens to cross the lines of Hasb--" Sweetie begins.
  1090. >"Don't listen to her!" Scootaloo tells you, immediately covering Sweetie's mouth. "We just want to make sure you're covered if you get hurt!"
  1091. >This was all incredibly shady.
  1092. >But from what you've seen of these three fillies, they're decent folk.
  1093. >Applebloom gives you a quill, already dipped in ink.
  1094. >Taking her cue, you swallow your suspicions and write your name across the bottom of the page.
  1095. >"Perfect!" Applebloom says. "Now we can get down to business!"
  1096. "What?" you suddenly have a growing sense of panic.
  1097. >"It's nothing scary, silly! You're just gonna help us get our cutie marks!"
  1098.  
  1099. =-=-=-=-=
  1100.  
  1101. >After hours of gallivanting around, doing menial tasks, you simply collapse from exhaustion on your living room couch.
  1102. >"Long day, eh?" Discord says as he enters the room from the kitchen carrying two steaming mugs, one of which he sets in front of you.
  1103. >You nod.
  1104. >"The Cutie Mark Crusaders really took quite a liking to you." he said, chuckling.
  1105. >And they certainly did, what with your seemingly endless hours of running, jumping, lifting, impromptu parasailing, falling, and defying death.
  1106. >"And I can see you took an eye for one of them, too.." he cooed.
  1107. >"I-I did not!" you exclaim, blushing.
  1108. >"That's not what I think~!" he teased, floating away from you.
  1109. >"It's true!" you retort, running at him.
  1110. >"You like Sweetie Belle! You like Sweetie Belle!" Discord chanted, flying around the room.
  1111. >"But I don't! It's not true!" you yell back, chasing him around the room.
  1112. >Eventually you catch up to him, jumping with all the might your little legs can muster and tackling him.
  1113. >He "Oof!"s and hits the ground softly under your not-so-stealthy glomp.
  1114. >For a moment, you glare at him while standing on his chest..
  1115. >.. before bursting out into the giggles and melting into his hug.
  1116.  
  1117. >That night, your dreams strayed from the realm of nightmares into the domain of the disorienting.
  1118. >"Happy birthday, Nonny!" Pinkie Pie yelled, blowing a noise maker, shooting confetti into your face.
  1119. >You reach out and pull the pastel pink pony into a hug.
  1120. >"I'd say I'm surprised that you remembered, but we both know you always do." You say after letting her go, smiling.
  1121. >"Of course I remembered, Nonny! It's my favorite birthday of the year! Well, other than mine. And Gummy's. And my friends'. I love ALL birthdays! Because it's a GREAT excuse for a PARTY!"
  1122. >As she finished, she disappeared in a puff of smoke, only to reveal herself several meters behind you on top of her cannon.
  1123. >"Let the party begin!" she exclaimed, pulling the cord to fire.
  1124. >The room erupted in streamers, confetti, assorted sweets, and a multitude of other party ingredients.
  1125. >"I told you she wouldn't forget, Anon. She never does!" Twilight tells you as you both walk in.
  1126. >You notice that the rest of their group of friends was already enjoying the festivities, among many ponies from around town.
  1127.  
  1128. >Just as suddenly as it appeared, everything was gone in a puff of smoke.
  1129. >The bakery in front of you was replaced with a grassy clearing ringed by a copse of trees.
  1130. >Your vision had lowered, telling you that you were once again a pony.
  1131. >"I'm sure you're confused. And I'm sorry that you have to be," you hear a voice tell you from somewhere ahead.
  1132. >Suddenly, a light shown upon the clearing.
  1133. >You shield your eyes.
  1134. >After the light cleared, a beautiful, dark pony stood where it once was.
  1135. >"And I'm sorry that I can't offer much in the way of consolation for that confusion," Luna says.
  1136. >She walks over to you, sits down, and motions for you to do the same.
  1137. >"But what I can tell you is that you're safe now. We made sure of that, my sister and I." she asserts, wrapping a wing around you.
  1138. >You sit like that for what seemed like seconds.
  1139. >"You've slept for several hours, Anonymous. I'm sorry, but it's time to go," Luna tells you, standing.
  1140. >"But-" you begin.
  1141. >"Hush, little one," she starts, putting a hoof to your mouth. "I'll be here when you next sleep. Don't worry about your nightmares any longer."
  1142. >With that peace of mind, she disappears in a flash of light, and you're jolted back to reality in an instant.
  1143.  
  1144. -
  1145.  
  1146. >You ease open your eyes.
  1147. >Apparently not easy enough; the light that blinds relents not.
  1148. >You don't remember the sun ever being this bright.
  1149. >And it isn't.
  1150. >You throw open your eyes to find a familiar pink pony shining light at you with a small mirror, snickering to herself.
  1151. >You'd be surprised, but in the little time you've spent in this little town, things like this simply aren't out of the ordinary.
  1152. >Especially for this one.
  1153. >The door opens.
  1154. >"Good morning, Anonymous. I've prepare you a maaaaaaarvelous breakfast down on the-- Pinkamena! How on Earth did you.. Put that down!" Discord shouts.
  1155. >"Only if you catch me first~!" she giggled, throwing a small pellet towards him.
  1156. >Upon impact, the pellet exploded into a puff of smoke and laughter.
  1157. >When the smoke cleared, there was no trace of pink left..
  1158. >.. other than a pink envelope on the floor where she once stood.
  1159. >"Blasted.. Of all the friends that Fluttershy has, that one certainly annoys me the most. I'm so sorry for her antics, Anon," Discord tells you.
  1160. >"It's okay. It's not your fault," you respond.
  1161. >He smiles.
  1162. >"Well anyway, your breakfast is on the table. Shall we?" he asks.
  1163. >You nod.
  1164.  
  1165. >And suddenly you were at the table, fork-in-hoof.
  1166. >You're still getting used to Discord's magic, but it's getting a lot easier.
  1167. >Fluttershy was there, too, though visibly disturbed.
  1168. >"Oh, Discord! How did you.. Oh, why good morning, Anonymous! Did you sleep well?" she asks you, fear melting from her face.
  1169. >You nod.
  1170. >It was rather obvious that she had been doing other things only a moment ago as well.
  1171. >"Now I'm sure you all are wondering why I've brought you here today," Discord begins, taking a bite from the toast on his plate.
  1172. >From the inquisitive looks both you and Fluttershy gave him, nothing needed be said.
  1173. >"Well, other than the lovely breakfasts that I made for the both of you!" he exclaims.
  1174. >"It is rather good, Discord. You did a good job!" Fluttershy offers.
  1175. >Though that simply didn't need to be said; the food spoke for itself.
  1176. >"We're delicious!" your tomatoes called from your plate.
  1177. >You wonder if you'll ever truly get used to his magic.
  1178. >And his volatility.
  1179. >"We have reached a milestone, fillies and gentlecolts," he proudly tells you, offering out a scented pink letter.
  1180. >It was an invitation to Pinky's party, of course.
  1181. >"What's so special about it, Discord?" Fluttershy asks.
  1182. >It doesn't take you a second to notice:
  1183. >The party was for your arrival to town.
  1184. >You were specifically invited as a family.
  1185.  
  1186. >After breakfast, you were poofed back up to your room, tasked with getting ready.
  1187. >The party was scheduled to start in just under an hour, so you definitely had to hustle..
  1188. >.. though you fail to understand what you have to do to get ready.
  1189. >When Discord brought you to the table, you realized that he had cleaned your teeth and brushed your mane for you.
  1190. >He really does think of everything.
  1191. >Then you noticed it.
  1192. >Upon your bed rested a large pink package.
  1193. >It was scented identically to the letter you had been given.
  1194. >Naturally, you were cautious.
  1195. >Though you approached anyway.
  1196. >Big mistake.
  1197. >The package burst open in a shower of confetti.
  1198. >"Let's go, Nonny! It's time for your party~!"
  1199. >That was all the warning you were given before being whisked away in a swirl of pink.
  1200. >As you were pulled away, you heard Discord yelling for you, seemingly unable to stop..
  1201. >The unstoppable tide of Ponk.
  1202.  
  1203. >Though it honestly wasn't all that bad.
  1204. >You ended up in a mostly-empty room wearing what you could call a suit.
  1205. >Head reeling, you took a look around.
  1206. >Pinkie was hanging decorations on one end of the room, accompanied by a small alligator atop her head.
  1207. >"Uh.." you stammer, unable to form complete sentences.
  1208. >"Oh hi Nonny! Didn't even notice you were there! Come on in!" she exclaims.
  1209. >"But.. Didn't you just.." you attempt.
  1210. >"What? Me? Of COURSE I didn't just rip you through space and time to arrive early! Pff, how would I ever do that?" she says, putting on a confused face.
  1211. >You decide to let it be.
  1212. >"Aaaaaanyway, welcome to the party! Everyone'll get here really soon, so you have to look your best and be ready, because you're the guest of honour!" she quickly says, pointing to a sort of stage.
  1213. >As she finishes, you see ponies begin to file into the room which you identify to be a sort of bakery.
  1214. >"I.." you yet again fail at producing words.
  1215. >"Pinkamena, just what did I tell you about frightening poor Anonymous? He's shaking in his tuxedo!" Discord interrupts, appearing between you and Pinkie.
  1216. >"But he's the guest of hooonour! He had to be here at least ten minutes early to rehearse! Right Nonny?" she looks to you.
  1217. >Instead of making a stammering idiot of yourself, you keep quiet.
  1218. >To make matters worse, you see Sweetie Belle parade in wearing a sort of cape with her two friends.
  1219. >"Absolutely not. Look at the poor colt! He's scared to death! You must be out of.." Discord continues, but you zone him out.
  1220. >The ponies look like they're having a good enough time without you, but..
  1221. >"I'll do it." you assert.
  1222.  
  1223. -
  1224.  
  1225. >Both arguing parties turn to you.
  1226. >Pinky's eyes light up as a silly grin spreads across her face.
  1227. >You could swear her hair puffed up just a little bit, too.
  1228. >Best not to question.
  1229. >"Anonymous, I don't think this is really the best--" Discord is cut off by an eruption of Mt. Pinkamena.
  1230. >"OHMYGOSHYAY! That means we have to do your mane and warm up your voice and re-size the stage and get more cake for you and JUST FOLLOW ME!" she shouted, grabbing your foreleg and dragging you through space and time once more.
  1231. >Discord's magic was one thing.
  1232. >Pinky's shenanigans were nothing short of an entirely different game altogether.
  1233. >And suddenly you were behind a curtain in a makeshift dressing room that you assumed to be behind the stage.
  1234. >"It took me a while to choose an outfit and manestyle and proper lighting but I think you're ready! What do you think, Rarity?" Pinkie asked at the speed of Ponk.
  1235. >"Wha..? Pinkie, how did you.. Oh, why hello, darling! I didn't see you there!" the purple-and-white marshmallow pony exclaimed.
  1236. >You said nothing.
  1237. >Instead, you quivered with a form of Post Pinkmatic Stress Disorder.
  1238. >"My, you look like an absolutely ravishing young colt! I'm sure you're quite the mareizer.." Rarity jokingly cooed.
  1239. >"So you think he's ready, Rarity?" Po asked.
  1240. >"I certainly hope so, with how much you shook the poor colt up!" Marshmallow accused.
  1241. >"Oh, psh-aww! He'll be fine! Well Nonny, it's your time to shine! Let's do this!"
  1242.  
  1243. >Pinkie stepped out in front of the curtain, leaving you behind.
  1244. >After calling everypony to attention, she began:
  1245. >"Hello and good afternoon, fellow citizens of Ponyville!" As she spoke, the light in the room dimmed.
  1246. >"As you're all aware, we're here to welcome our newest and absolute cutest addition to the town: my close personal friend, Anonymous!"
  1247. >A pink hoof reached through the curtain and pulled you onto the stage.
  1248. >You begin to wonder how much more of the mysticism of the Panka Po you'll have to put up with.
  1249. >"Why not tell them a little bit about yourself, Nonny?" she asked, holding a sort of ball-and-stick to your muzzle.
  1250. >"Um.." you began but stopped short; the ball on the stick seemed to somehow amplify your voice tenfold.
  1251. >You had no idea how it worked.
  1252. >You also had no idea how she worked.
  1253. >Oh well.
  1254. >"Uh.. Hi.. I'm--" you attempted.
  1255. >"Woo! Yeah Anon! You got this!" a member of the crowd yells.
  1256. >Upon closer inspection, it was none other than Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
  1257. >Sweetie was blushing beside them, looking away as though to divert the attention away from her.
  1258. >"Well uh.. Hi. I'm Anonymous. I'm originally from the Canterlot Home for Colts, but I was recently adopted by my daddy Discord," you say, hoping he comes to the stage with you.
  1259. >But you have no such luck; you don't see him anywhere.
  1260. >"And uh.. Enjoy the party!" you conclude.
  1261. >"How about that, folks? Let's give him a hoof!" Pinkie exclaims, taking the ball-and-stick from you.
  1262. >The crowd explodes into cheers as you walk from the stage.
  1263. >You can't help from smiling.
  1264.  
  1265. -=-
  1266.  
  1267. >You are now Discord.
  1268. >And you're making your way to the Treebrary to pay your favorite Purple Smart a visit.
  1269. >But you were sick of walking.
  1270. >Or.. Levitating.
  1271. >So instead, you teleported straight there.
  1272. >But being the Lord of Chaos, you couldn't just show her that you were there.
  1273. >Naturally, you took the form of a bookshelf, replacing one of the shelves already in the room.
  1274. >Ah, yes.. And there she was, studying a book on a pedestal.
  1275. >She may be smart.
  1276. >She may be purple.
  1277. >But she is no match for the pranking skills of Discord!
  1278. >While she was looking away, you inched the shelf closer to her.
  1279. >Whenever she looked, you stopped moving.
  1280. >You're a pro at stealthiness, and you know the perfect time to strike..
  1281. >.. is when you're less than half a meter away.
  1282. >You tap her on the shoulder with an invisible claw.
  1283. >She immediately goes rigid.
  1284. >"Boo!" you shout.
  1285. >Twilight screams, jumps, turns a full 180 degrees in the air, and blasts at your hiding place with powerful magic.
  1286. >The bookcase blows apart, leaving you crumpled on the ground..
  1287.  
  1288. >.. laughing.
  1289. >"Oh Twilight, you should have seen your face!" you exclaim, sides still undergoing Operation Luna and orbiting the moon.
  1290. >"Discord! You should know better! Someone could have gotten seriously hurt!" Twilight says exasperatedly.
  1291. >"Oh, don't be such a spoilsport! You're just jealous that you didn't think of it first," you say, wiping a tear from your eye.
  1292. >"No, I-" she attempts.
  1293. >"Now Twilight, I really do have to talk to you," you tell her, holding a talon to her mouth. "May I speak?"
  1294. >She nods.
  1295. >"Alright. Well you know the pony I introduced you to earlier, Anonymous?" you begin.
  1296. >Another nod.
  1297. >"I'm rather surprised you haven't guessed. See, the thing about Anon.. Well, you've met before," you tell her.
  1298. >"Well of course we've met before. You introduced us!" she blurts out.
  1299. >"Quite the contrary, O Wise One. You introduced yourself, if you recall correctly. And you made quite the impression on the poor colt," you reprimand.
  1300. >"Oh.. Yeah, I remember," she says, looking down.
  1301. >"But that's not what I'm here for," you continue.
  1302. >"Oh? Then what is this about..?" she asks, curious yet again.
  1303. >"Twilight, don't you remember? It's Anonymous. The same Anonymous," you tell her.
  1304. >"Um.. Yeah, he hasn't really changed! Unless he has since we met, of course," Twilight says, confused.
  1305. >"No no. Twilight, Anonymous is a human."
  1306.  
  1307. >She looks at you with utter confusion.
  1308. >"Discord, there's only ever been one hu.." she trails off.
  1309. >Her look changes from that of confusion, to realization, to sheer panic.
  1310. >"Now you understand," you tell her. "You made him into the colt he is today."
  1311. >"But I.. I was just.. I just wanted to try something I had learned! I didn't know it would.." she attempts, but tears have already begun to flow down her muzzle.
  1312. >"See Twilight, not everything you learn must be put into practice. Especially powerful spells like that. Even I don't fully comprehend the bounds to which it worked," you say.
  1313. >Twilight was still in shock.
  1314. >"But.. That means.. His memory.." she begins to sob before she's able to finish.
  1315. >"Now now, dear, don't worry," you comfort her, holding her against your chest, "he's not the only one."
  1316. >It takes a moment, but she then realizes.
  1317. >"Everyone..?" Purple Smart looks at you with teary eyes.
  1318. >"Not just that. Your spell completely turned back time," you tell her.
  1319. >"Turned back.." she pulls away from you, the flow of tears waning.
  1320. >"Yes. The spell was so powerful that it ripped Anon's existence from the timeline altogether and replaced it with what he is now," you say.
  1321. >"But I know.. I remember him.. and that means.. That means I can fix it!" she shouts, suddenly donning a more maniacal look.
  1322. >"No Twilight, nothing needs to be-" you're cut off by the sound of books flying from the shelves.
  1323. >"But if it's related to time, I know JUST the pony to help me!" she says, now unable to control the mania, pulling a book from a shelf.
  1324. >"Twilight, please, don't do-"
  1325. >"I can fix this!" Twilight shouts, a powerful spell beginning to make manifest.
  1326.  
  1327. >The air swirls around you.
  1328. >Ripped pages from books, bits of parchment, quills, and the like fly about the room in a makeshift hurricane.
  1329. >Twilight stands in the center of the madness with a book levitating beside her.
  1330. >"No, Twilight! He's long gone! You know better than to tamper with time!" you yell, but your words are lost to untamed magic and mania.
  1331. >Her eyes begin to glow.
  1332. >The world around you seems to bend toward her.
  1333. >You know it's far too late and decide to teleport out.
  1334. >Only there's a severe lack of teleportation in your immediate area.
  1335. >"Twilight, you ah.. You just stay right there! I'll go get help!" for yourself, that is.
  1336. >You turn tail and book it out of the library, which is almost impossible given the singularity forming in the center.
  1337. >As soon as you're out, everything goes eerily silent for a moment.
  1338. >But only a moment.
  1339. >Reality seems to envelope Twilight..
  1340. >.. causing the singularity to rapidly destabilize.
  1341. >The energy implodes towards the rift where Twilight vanished, but finds a severe lack of rift to implode into.
  1342. >Instead, the singularity explodes.
  1343. >Taking the entire Treebrary with it.
  1344. >You thought you'd made it far enough, but obviously not; the explosion throws you several meters, where you hit a building and black out.
  1345.  
  1346. -=-
  1347.  
  1348. >You are now Anon.
  1349. >And you were being fashionably assaulted by an excited Rarity.
  1350. >"Oh, you looked absolutely stunning out there, darling! Now we have to fix you up for the actual party! I'll just have to fix your mane, adjust your collar.." she continued, but you didn't listen.
  1351. >You were too busy fighting off the shivers that resulted from stage fright.
  1352. >Or perhaps it was ecstasy from being so well-received.
  1353. >You can't help but notice an eerie feeling clinging to you like a snake.
  1354. >"What's the matter, dear? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Marshpone says, taking a break from her pampering.
  1355. >"It's nothing," you tell her.
  1356. >"Well alright, darling, I won't push," she sighs. "Well anyway, it's time you go speak to your party guests!"
  1357. >You figure she's right and make your way back to the main room.
  1358. >Right as you're turning to round the curtain, you bump into an unsuspecting mare who drops her piece of toast.
  1359. >"Oh, I'm sorry, Anon! I didn't see you there!" Sweetie Belle exclaims, scrambling to retrieve the dropped toast.
  1360. >It had to be her.
  1361. >"No no, it's fine! I should really watch where I'm going though! Hah.." you trail off.
  1362. >"So uh.. You did a great job on stage!" she offers.
  1363. >"It was just alright," you say.
  1364. >"No really! You did a great job! I don't think I could even do that!" she tells you.
  1365. >You blush, not sure how to take the complement.
  1366. >There's obviously more you want to say, but..
  1367. >"Well, I should be going! I have to go help my sister get all of her things back home.." Sweetie says, turning to leave.
  1368. >"Alright then, we'll see you around," you say, also taking your first steps toward leaving.
  1369.  
  1370. >Just as she's about to round the corner behind the curtain, you stop and turn.
  1371. >"Hey Sweetie?" you call.
  1372. >"Yeah Anon?" she asks, rushing back to you.
  1373. >Come on, Anon!
  1374. >You aren't afraid of anything!
  1375. >The boys in the orphanage were scarier than this!
  1376. >What would Cobble Dust say if he knew you were scared of a single mare?
  1377. >That pushes you over the edge.
  1378. >"Sweetie, I just thought that you're really great and I was wondering if you wanted to go out to eat or something!" you almost shout.
  1379. >But it was certainly loud enough for ponies around you to hear.
  1380. >Quite a few turned their heads.
  1381. >Sweetie looked rather taken aback.
  1382. >You know it was terrible delivery.
  1383. >Even then, she would never even consider a colt like you.
  1384. >You turn to leave, head hanging low.
  1385. >"Anon?" Sweetie says.
  1386. >By now, the room had gone silent.
  1387. >You turn to her.
  1388. >Sweetie was wearing a grin from ear to ear.
  1389. >"Yes. I'd love to go out with you sometime!" she exclaims.
  1390. >Your head shoots up, a goofy grin beginning to spread across your face.
  1391. >Just as you begin to respond, a shockwave shakes the entire room.
  1392. >The last thing you see is Sweetie's look of confusion and fear before you fall to the ground, unconscious.
  1393.  
  1394. -
  1395.  
  1396. UPDATE: THREE FUCKING YEARS LATER:
  1397. i might as well continue this shit. i'll keep yall posted if anyone happens to be interested. disregard the most recent update. that's gonna get rewritten. fuckin autist level bullshit.
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