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- >You can't sleep.
- >Maybe it's your shitty sleep schedule, or what you ate for dinner, or even the little oscillating ping of a headache that drips like water in your too-big head.
- >Or maybe it's fear.
- >Of the unknown? Maybe. No man can know it all, especially when his mind has been shoved into another world.
- >Of death in your sleep?
- >No, you haven't been afraid of death for years.
- >The place you came from was hell, and when it finally happened all you felt besides the unbearable pain was relief.
- >You didn't know it then, but you know it now.
- >Not even Twilight knows you're otherworldly.
- >You keep your grades modest and ask her for help on your homework like you asked your mom for help on studying for your history tests when you were little.
- >She always called you Doodlebug, a name you never thought twice about.
- >Some time in high school, you learned that it's a name given for a way of movement, one that makes doodle marks in the sand.
- >That of an antlion.
- >To this day, that past realization still swims in your head on occasion.
- >You're not sure if she knew, despite her extensive knowledge of human anatomy you don't recall her having much interest in arthropods.
- >But even so, the name fits now more than ever...
- >A facade of whimsy with a dark nature.
- >You readjust your position in bed, hugging your blanket tightly.
- >It's cold, but you don't deserve the warmth.
- >In the time after she passed, you changed into something you doubt she would be proud of.
- >You feel more awake than you did when she was there to guide you, but...
- >You haven't felt consistent happiness since the day before you found out she was going to die.
- >Everybody has to grow up some day, and everybody has to wake up too.
- >Better you did you surmise, you could've been a manchild or worse without a catalyst...
- >Could've been anything, really.
- >But now the resin has hardened and, whatever bubbles or little perfections came out of the mold will probably take some work to take out.
- >You weren't like the other fillies, and it showed.
- >Purple had noticed your emotional distance despite your best efforts, and you'd gone to a shrink.
- >Fed him some nonsense, wasn't too terribly hard to make up a convincing story.
- >After all, you fantasized about this all once upon a time.
- >After all, you're Lone15.
- >And at 6:00 in the goddamn morning, you're still not asleep.
- ~Fin
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