ET- Earth Lingo

  The machine rolled under his nose, sputtering to itself. “You no longer speak the sublime and perfectly evolved language of the planet, which even I, a programmed machine, can speak. You have changed. Your flow is no longer that of the Higher Mind. What is wrong with you?”

  “I’m—I’m—” E.T. struggled, “—a fathead.”

  The sides of the interrogation machine opened and a calipers came forth; it elongated, measuring E.T.’s brow. “Your head is not fat. It is of the correct size.” The calipers were withdrawn and the machine rolled away, hit the wall again, and rolled back. “I repeat—what is wrong with you?”

  E.T. struggled within himself. He was a master of interstellar philosophy, a Doctor of Botany, a learned, differentiated, higher being. He must give an answer commensurate with the depth of his wisdom. The machine’s ocular orbs bent over him and the speakers sounded. “Well? What is wrong with you?”

  “I’ve—flipped my lid.”

  The machine looked around, orbs twisting. “I see nothing flipped, nor flipping. Answer my question.”

  “Discombobulated. Lobotomized. Out of it.”

  The machine started whirring internally, trying to translate. It sputtered again, blew a fuse, and fell silent—motionless and short circuited.

  “Wasted,” said E.T., touching it gently.

- E.T. The Book of the Green Planet, chapter 14