geryon chapter

Sylfver hurried to keep up with Zetil as they entered the Great Hall of Unseen University. their feet made no sound however, as they weren't touching the ground. Both wizard and thief floated just a few inches above the air, gliding along one after the other. Whispy clouds followed them obediently like oddly shaped dogs. Zetil's was a dark terracotta that seemed to Sylfver to be a symbol of golem pride, while her own was a deep bourbon gold that semed to shimmer as it moved. Sylfver stuck close to Zetil's heals as it wandered first up one staircase, down one long coridor, turning left, right, up once again, left...Sylfver lost count of how many twists and turns they took. She'd never be able to find her way out on her own. However zetil seemed to know his way just fine, taking turn after turn at top speed.

"How on earth do you know your way so well," she puffed, skipping a little in the air with the effort to keep up.

Zetil stoppped suddenly so that she very nearly crashed into it. She flung out her arms to stop her momentum and nearly went head over heals. Cursing, she righted herself against a wall.

"You Forget, I Have Been Here A Long Time," it replied, simply.

It dropped the subject of it's enslavement into conversations sometimes like an unclimbable brick wall. Not because it wanted people to feel guilty, though perhaps part of it did and just never said, but because it was a true fact.

"Insodentally," the golem added as an afterthought, "You Need To Learn To Be More Graceful, When You Use That Spell."

Sylfver spluttered indignantly. "What on earth do you mean by graceful?"

"Well, What Do You Think The Spell Is For?"

Sylfver thought about it for a moment. The two of them had used as much practical magic as they could. Geryon's mood's were...erratic at best, but he liked to see students using magic in a practical manner. Geryon would teach anyone, but they had to have a good grasp of what magic was for, and how and why it should be used.

"I always thought it was to keep you off the ground iff the floor was, for some reason, dangerous," she answered carefully, feeling as though she might be wrong about that.

"A Secondary Effect," agreed Zetil, "But Really, It's To Preserve The Dignity Of Your Average Wizard As They Move Through The
World."

Sylfver shot it a confused look, as the grand set of doors before them opened, and a steady voice from within the large office beyond said matter-of-factly, "It is because gravity is generally rather unkind to your average wizard."

Arch Chancellor Geryon Womblesworth floated out of his office easily, nibblling on a pie crust, beaming at them both, and beckoning for them to enter as he tossed the crust aside.

It was generally believed that wisdom is directly linked to mass. At least it was believed by wizards, and mostly the wizards who spent their entire lives gaining more of it thanks to the UU dinnners. Oh other things factored in, like ones age, according to older wizards, ones length of beard, according to the wizards who had them and occasionally ones skilll, but most wizards at UU thought mass was the key to success. And if mass was the key to success, Geryon was the most successful wizard at the university. It was unclear to sylfver wich wizard would actually weigh more. The human or the one made of more than half a ton of clay. She wouldn't have bet money either way.

"Yes," continued the Arch Chancellor, "gravity is a terrible burden for your average wizard to bare, so old Finneblaugh, fed up of bumbling around on the ground, invented a spell so he'd never have to walk on it again. Nice to see you've got the hang of it, Ms Fallstar...almost"

Sylfver scowled inwardly, but followed Zetil inside with no comment. She made to sit down in one of the comfortable looking chairs that faced Geryon's desk, but the wizard put up a hand to stop her.

"Payment?" he asked seriously.

Sylfver nnodded, and consentrated. She made a gesture toward the golden cloud and it dropped a box into her hands, which she then placed carefully and reverantly on the desk in front of her.

The room, which up to this point had smelled of the sadness of already eaten pie, filled up with the delicious sent of warm, freshly baked dough with the promise of pie filling within. Geryon pulled the box toward him appreciatively. Zetil and Sylfver could both have created pies with magic, but as far as Arch Chancellor Womblesworth was concerned, this was cheating. So they had gone for a quick trips to the ramtops, raiding tiny village bakeries and inns for the best pies they could find. If you wanted to learn from the best, you had to put some effort in to providing the best pies.


Geryon sighed with pleasure as he opened the box to reveal the golden crusts of 20 perfectly form pies, steaming hot, all nestled together in the box to keep one another warm.

That wasn't enough though. He took 1 pie from the box, lifted it to his nose and sniffed it delicately.

Sylfver found she was holding her breath and she wasn't really sure why. She'd done this before afterall, but the Arch Chancellor was really serious about pie.

Geryon took a bite of the pie, hot gravy spilling out of the pastry and onto his chin and hand, but he didn't seem to mind.

"So, what was it you wanted?" he asked. It was almost impossible to understand, as his mouth was full.

Sylfver sat, understanding that payment had been accepted and she now had permition to do so. "Zetil has been teaching me Gryntard's Feathery Reliever," she explained, "but I can't quite get the hang of it, and Zetil said I needed another lesson with you."

Geryon nodded, picking up a book from his desk as he considered her, "and what have you been trying to float?" he asked.

"mostly weapons and armour that needed stacking at the time," Sylfver replied, with a glance back at the golem who stood behind her, examining some books on a dusty shelf.

"Zetil," snapped Geryon sharply, "I'd have thought you would have known better. You can't start off with that amount of mass!"

Zetil paused in its examination of a particularly damaged old volume and said calmly, "I Merely Thought That Giving The Task Some Meaning, Would Be A Catelist For Knowledge."

"And you didn't want to help me stack them," added Sylfver, shooting it a reproachful look.

"Laziness is A Wizards Most Important Quality," countered Zetil.

Sylfver must have looked incredulous, because Geryon hastened to support the statement.

"Zetil is quite right. Any spell worth casting was invented because some wizard somewhere in history really didn't want to do something. The spells that span time are the ones that actively help us not to have to do too much work in our daily lives. Don't want to go down to  the kitchens? there's a spell for that. Don't want to learn to defend yourself? there are spels for that. Don't want to carry things? there are spells for that. Don't want to carry a match to set things on fire? there are spells for that too. The best and most useful spells were born of some wizard petulantly whining 'do I have to?'"


Geryon tossed the book in front of sylfver, "But even the most lazy of wizards has to start small." He scribbled on a piece of parchment which faintly flashed octarine as it became a magical scroll and he lay that on top of the book. "try the spell with this."

Sylfver picked up the scroll and took out a silver necklace and a feather. She felt a little silly trying a spell like this on a book. I mean....she could just carry a book. Had some wizard in the past really thought, 'goodness, this book is really heavy. I wish I had a spell for carrying it around'. Of course they had. They were wizards. They were practically alergic to physical labour.


Sylfver went through the motions of the spell over and over again, and each time she got a little better. meaning she burned off less of her hair, caused less octarine sparks to explode from nowhere and actually managed to make the book weigh less. It wasn't until the 16th attempt that Geryon was truely satisfied though.

"Well done, Ms Fallstar," he congratulated, then almost instantly forgetting her existance and turning to Zetil, "she's extremely well taught, if far too thin. Don't they feed them at the thieve's guild?"

"I Believe Not, They Are Supposed To Use Their Skills To Obtain Their dinner," replied Zetil, with a sidelong glance at Sylfver that would have contained a wink if it had had the ability.


That was true. Emily von Schaf, mistress of Sylfver's guild had decreed that fully trained thieves were not to be served meals in the guild kitchens. Instead they were to use their skills to feed themselves or use money they obtained from using their skills to buy their own food. It was a harsh rule, but it kept thieves in practice. However Sylfver had almost exclusively eaten Unseen University dinners for the past four years. That was the great advantage to wearing wizard's robes. The staff just treated you like any other wizard. The effect of the food was simply counteracted by Sylfver's busy lifestile. She did spend a considerable amount of time running away from people.

"One of us needds to be able to fit into small places," said Sylfver cheerfully, "we'd be a useless trap disposal and safe installation service if we couldn't."
Sylfver made as if to open the door, but someone on the other side beat her to it.

The wizard who stood in the doorway was unlike any wizard Sylfver had ever seen. His robes and hat were of a vivid green that marked him as a seer, but over the top he wore a grey cloak, embroidered with shades of green. He was young, too, and his beard was trim and well-groomed. He was quite the most handsome wizard she had ever seen. Usually 'handsome' and 'wizard' were not terms you heard in the same sentence.

The newcomer's grey eyes swept the room. narrowing briefly as they fixed upon Zetil, but `	Sylfver missed this.

"I was hoping you had a moment, Arch chancellor, but I see you are entertaining members of...," the slightest of pauses as he indicated Zetil and Sylfver "the student body."

Sylfver looked from Geryon to Zetil. The latter looked as it always did to sylfver, though there was something different she couldn't quite place in the golem's stance. Geryon still wore his usual welcoming smile, but his expression had become fixed and there was something more guarded about the arch Chancellor as he gazed up at the seer.

The younger wizard focused his attention on Zetil, "not going to introduce me to your friend?" he asked, "I thought politeness was one of the traits of your...kind..."

And now Sylfver understood vividly and raised her own eyes to glare at the stranger. Here was one of the wizards who had obviously prevented Zetil from joining an order, meaning that it would effectively remain a student, no matter how good at magic it was.

Zetil shifted, but Geryon spared it the discomfort of answering.

"Ms Sylfver Fallstar, I have the great honour to introduce to you, Archmage Ruhsbaar, senior wizard of the Venerable Council of Seers. Archmage Ruhsbaar, it is my very great pleasure to introduce to you, Ms Sylfver Fallstar, cutpurse of the Ankh-Morpork Guild of Thieves, traps and safes expert and eternal student of the art of magic.

Ruhsbaar bowed and Sylfver politely offered her hand. Instead of shaking it however, the senior seer seemed to be old school, kissing her hand instead while she looked on, imagining how the wizard would look with her knife through his eyeball. She didn't like the way he was looking at her. it was like he'd just figured out something.


"We Were Just Leaving," rumbled Zetil, "We Have A safe To Install."

"Of course you were," said Ruhsbaar, holding open the door for them and stepping aside as if he owned the place, "far be it for me to keep you from what I am sure is very important work..."

Was he making fun of her? Sylfer's hand strayed to the hilt of her Klatchian Steel knife as she stalked past him. Just let him make one more smart comment....

She caught Zetil's eye, but the golem simply shook his head infinitesimally as they gained the relative calm of the corridor beyond.