I found myself in a Galaxy Far, Far Away. God, I've always wanted to say that. I had lived as a Jedi Knight in this life and had made something of a name for myself – not for my skill with the Force or combat, but rather that with technology. I also happened to have a padawan, who was Jane in this world. We didn't get off to a great start with the rest of the Order after Awakening, mostly because I immediately disregarded an order to work on the next generation of Jedi starfighters to instead strike out and help in a more direct way. This obviously didn't endear me to the Council.

It didn't take long for Jane and I to end up in a friendship with two of the few in the Order who held similar opinions to us – those being the infamous Anakin Skywalker and his newly appointed apprentice, one Ahsoka Tano. Not long after this my relationship began to deteriorate even faster. In retrospect it may have had something with carrying a red lightsaber and justifying it with “blue's for pussies”. It all culminated in Jane and I leaving the Order – and I may have also stopped time and drawn a dick on Windu's face, but no one can prove that. After leaving the Jedi behind we became mercenaries and served on Anakin’s – who we retained a good relationship with – ship.

I also revealed to Anakin that I knew about his relationship with Padme. “You hide it as well as Yoda hides being two feet tall,” I told him and reassured him that I thought it was okay and would recommend leaving the repressed monk cult behind –  had worked great for me, after all. He was hesitant to do that, but did eventually take my advice to tell Ahsoka and Obi-Wan.

In the background I started spreading rumors of plans to overthrow the republic with Order 66 and the inhibitor chips in the clones that would make it possible. Of course it was mostly met with ridicule, but it did spark some inquiry and investigation.

I also personally took on the responsibility of dealing with Dooku and Grievous. The glorified tin can was dealt with by stopping time and dismembering him before taking his head as a trophy. Sure, the republic had wanted him taken alive but that never worked out in canon and I didn't feel like dealing with the headache of his rescue and escape. Dooku was dealt with by  brokering a deal with the witches of Dathomir to betray them much like they had in canon, sneaking into his palace and attacking him in his chambers. He fought back, but was ultimately defeated. The witches left after that, while I stayed behind to see what I could find. However, I was intercepted by his apprentice before I could leave. After personally slaying her master and utterly crushing her in single combat, I spared Ventress and asked only that she make her own way in life and leave the Sith behind.
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“Ah, so you killed the old man in his sleep?” The Dark Jedi’s dual crimson sabers sprang to life with a hiss. “I won't be so easy.”

“Good,” I grinned in the most predatory fashion I could manage. “I like a girl who plays hard to get.”

We clashed, my own red blade burning hot against her twin weapons. Ventress was skilled and dangerous, more than a match for most Jedi. But I had the upper hand and still had a few aces up my sleeve. The fight didn't last very long; I managed to disarm her of one of her weapon early on and she relied too heavily upon her style that focused on both. She was at a distinct disadvantage and was on the defensive.

I slipped a kick into her abdomen, sliding past her defenses. She doubled over, her focus broken, and I sliced cleanly through the end of her broken lightsaber. My mind reached out through the Force, slipping through her own disrupted mental presence to wrap around her body and fling her against the wall, where she stayed. Her limbs were splayed and her gray face was twisted into a snarl.


“I've got a proposition for you, Vennie.”
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Despite the fact that we hadn't captured them alive, we had cut off the primary (visible) heads of the Separatists and were hailed as heroes, but it wasn't over. The Emperor was backed into a corner and was preparing to execute Order 66. So I attacked him after disabling his security. He fought back and would have killed me had I not cheated by stopping time. Fortunately I had recorded the fight, not only gaining proof that he was a Sith Lord but had also managed to make him admit his position as leader of the Separatists. After an extensive investigation, the recording was determined to be legit and I was acquitted of charges. The War was over, the generals of the enemy and the mastermind that had played both sides like a damned fiddle were all dead.

Afterwards I rallied all of the political clout I could manage as the “Hero of the Republic” who had single-handedly ended a galactic civil war. And I used that social might to rail against the Jedi Order. They had shown that they would bend before Palpatine’s politics, so I decided to use some of my own – the thought of which put a bad taste in my mouth as I’m not really one for politics.

The Jedi Order of today is a corrupted and misbegotten relic of a long-gone past, I argued. Not only is their practice of taking children before they're old enough to make any choices of their own and indoctrinating them into a repressive lifestyle of questionable morality, but they aren't even effective at their job! The Jedi, a cult dedicated to peace, had taken on jobs as leaders of the galaxy's military with nothing approaching proper training and had predictably been awful at it for the most part. And I, the one who had ended the war, was a black sheep using methods that the Order did not approve of.

So, I argued, the Jedi needed a change. I applied as much pressure as I could to shape it to more closely resemble the New Jedi Order that Luke would have one day forged. Forces were to be taken in after they had become teenagers at least and would not have to cut all contact with friends and loved ones or be restricted from having relationships – in fact, it would be encouraged. They would be taught not to repress and fear their emotions, but to control them. Foremost, they would be counselled in how to deal with loss.

It wasn't easy, but the Council eventually began to cave. By the time the decade was up, the Order was looking a lot different.