TheColdPeople AMA

<cmd102> Question from Polar_Starburst : What's your creepiest experience paranormal or otherwise?
<TheColdPeople> I can think of a few. I consider these pretty creepy, especially given the fact that I'm a stone cold skeptic: When I was 10, my mom, her boyfriend Steve (a mountain-manish kind of guy), and I went snowshoeing in Colorado on the way back down the mountain, we took a wrong turn, and ended up at this cabin. We knocked with the intention of asking for a lift or some shelter because a really bad storm appeared to be coming on. Turns out the cabin was abandoned, and inside of it was a bunch of weird stuff. I remember hundreds of prescription bottles. Maybe thousands. And my mom wouldn't let me go into the bedroom. Years later, she confessed to me that they'd figured out someone had been held hostage there maybe, and that there were jars of urine and feces in the bedroom
<TheColdPeople> Uhmm...I once got lost in the woods at my university (UC Santa Cruz) around sunset. I would go hiking every day. I found an old, tiny cemetery way the hell out there, so I stopped at the gravestones and was kind of looking at them/snapping photos of them with my cell phone, and suddenly I heard someone behind me. When I turned around, there was this old, dirty man, like a squatter, and he just says ominously, "They're all here. All of them." I noped out of there like Michelle Bachmann out of a library
<TheColdPeople> And the last one isn't much of a story. Another time when camping in Colorado, age 8. Heard a scream in the woods. It was not human, definitely an animal and probably getting eaten by another animal. But in my mind I always imagine it as a demon screaming for some reason
<cmd102> Question from baconmoontwist : Introduce yourself in 7 words
<TheColdPeople> Fable, Starcraft, Donkey Kong, Silent Hill, cheeseburgers.
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : Which of your single part stories was your favorite, and why? Which was your least favorite?
<TheColdPeople> I think "Cubes" is my favorite because I feel it really does justice to the ineffable experience of a bad drug trip. (speaking from personal experience). And my least favorite is "Chuckles," not because I think it's bad, but because apparently nobody found it as creepy as I did lol
<cmd102> Question from NotMikey :  Psst. Burrito or burrito bowl? Gluten not withholding.
<TheColdPeople> I refuse to eat fun food from a bowl
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : What was the most challenging part of writing MRCG?
<TheColdPeople> Just how frantic it was. I wrote part 1 with NO sequels in mind. It was just a very quick story I wrote between classes. When five thousand people messaged me about it, I realized I owed them an update, and it just kept going for two weeks. I was so stressed out for fear of letting down my new reader base that, by the end of the series, i almost took a week off school just to unwind
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : If you had a pet pigeon, what would you name it?
<TheColdPeople> Carrot  (people who read Stolen Tongues will know why)
<cmd102> Question from NotMikey : When I first found your Facebook page, you had a small following. Now, I see you have thousands. What's been your strategy for growing such a strong social media presence?
<TheColdPeople> New content. Always new content. Just like a youtube channel. Once you stop, the numbers drop. But you don't want to sacrifice quality for quantity, which is why I haven't even bothered with a new series, just a bunch of one-offs. I need a break, after all!
<cmd102> Question from baconmoontwist : Dogs, cats or sneks?
<TheColdPeople> When I was 5, my neighbor caught a snek and gave her to me. It was a rosy boa. Her name is Rosy. She's still alive, and still snekin'. But cats will always be muh favorite
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : Backstreet boys or Nsync? Britney or Christina? Vanilla or chocolate? Tea or coffee? Hall or Oates?
<TheColdPeople> I really love BSB. lmao. Faye is a metalhead and is so ashamed of me, because I used to be a metalhead, and now as I get older, I listen to softer stuff. I can sing a ton of BSB. NSync is still really good though. Britney had better hooks but Christina was one of the greatest technical singers of her time. Chocolate all day. No coffee, no tea, no alcohol. I think Hall and Oates were folk musicians but I don't know much about them
<TheColdPeople> Not that I can sing it well, btw, but I sing it.
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : How many pet lizards do you wish you owned?
<TheColdPeople> I owned a beardy named Winston and chameleons are my favorite aminal. But I don't wish I had one. They're more trouble than they're worth
<cmd102> Question from NotMikey : Do you have any reservations about staying in cabins now?
<TheColdPeople> I haven't left sunny California in a while, haha. I'm not sure...
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : What gluten free item were you contemplating purchasing when you had to leave to do the AMA?
<TheColdPeople> So I just turned 29 and suddenly my body has decided to become allergic to bread. Fucking BREAD. I backpacked the Alps, but BREAD is going to be my destroyer. So we got some gluten free graham crackers to make s'mores.
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : Favorite A Perfect Circle song?
<TheColdPeople> Orestes is not only my favorite APC song, but my all-time favorite ever, and coincidentally today I told Faye that this is the song I want played at my funeral. Her response was "Yes, I know, stop telling me this." But The Noose and 3 Libras and Brena are amazing
<cmd102> Question from NotMikey : If you could live anywhere besides California, would you be able to eat an entire watermelon by yourself?
<TheColdPeople> Try and stop me
<cmd102> Question from baconmoontwist : Hip-hop or post-rock?
<TheColdPeople> I'm still not sure what post-rock is, but if it's got guitars, I generally like it.
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : If you were stranded on an island for a decade with 2 of your nosleep peers, who would you choose and why?
<TheColdPeople> EZMisery and Iia, because they could tell me tons of good stories every night. Good campfire pals
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray :  When's the last time you ate a taco? How was it?
<TheColdPeople> Two nights ago and meh. Faye loves the Mexican place next to our house, but I secretly don't. But it's "our" place now, so I have to keep my mouth shut. Their salsa is so bland
<cmd102> Question from NotMikey : How do you feel about the severely dwindling bee population?
<TheColdPeople> We planted a garden specifically because of this, and the garden's doing really well. Colony Collapse Disorder is real and a sad thing. Call your senator! or something
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray :  What color would you use to describe fear?
<TheColdPeople> I remember Richard Dawkins scoffing at someone asking him "the color of jealousy" lol. I don't know. infrared?
<TheColdPeople> no wait
<TheColdPeople> brown. if it's scary enough....brown.
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray :  What's your favorite personality characteristic about yourself? Least favorite?
<TheColdPeople> I have really good follow-through with projects. I released an album, wrote a few books, finished grad school, now teaching myself to code, etc. Least favorite...I compare myself to others way too much in whatever project I'm currently engaged in
<cmd102> Question from cmd102 : If you had to choose between being a super-famous author or being able to eat bread again, which would you choose?
<TheColdPeople> Man that is a hard fucking question. I love donuts so, so much. But then again, if I were super famous, I'd be able to pay a scientist to develop gluten-free donuts that dont suck.
<cmd102> Question from NotMikey : Do you collect anything, and if so, why?
<TheColdPeople> I collect Super Nintendo video games! It's my all-time favorite console and it's got my favorite games on it. They're becoming increasingly valuable as time goes on, too.
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray :  What is your professional opinion on bunnies?
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : When was the last time you were truly afraid? What caused it?
<TheColdPeople> My neighbors scare me. They are a bunch of criminals.
<TheColdPeople> Faye's home alone a lot because we have different hours. The guys next door are young and really shady, like, I could give so many examples
<TheColdPeople> First of all, they obviously deal drugs, because people roll up to their house every night and the dudes just go out and make swaps with them. They're really shifty about anyone seeing what's in their backyard. They don't want ANYONE looking in there, and it's all blocked off. I assumed pot farm, but that's not a big enough deal to justify acting like this
<TheColdPeople> So I came home early one day from work and saw inside their backyard. They left the gate open just for a second. Normally it's barricaded shut with a makeshift wall. There's about 1,000 brand new bicycles in there. They came around one time asking Faye when I'd be home, like, trying to figure out how long I'd be gone. When I got home I had to go over there and express in no uncertain terms that if anything ever went down on our property, I would take a crowbar over there and make me some mashed potatoes
<cmd102> Question from KDawg : What drew you to writing?
<TheColdPeople> No idea actually. My mom's a published author and she's been doing it for decades. I think just seeing her do it was encouraging to me. My first big story was about a planet made of Jello, and all the creatures on it were Jello too. I was eight. I considered it a masterpiece.
<cmd102> Question from notyourcure :  Did you have any odd childhood fears that seem ridiculous now?
<TheColdPeople> I documented my emetophobia pretty honestly in "Stolen Tongues." I have a fear of vomiting and it controlled my life for decades. I now have that same fear, but I'm slightly less energetic about it. It only really surfaces as claustrophobia now. I cannot fly on planes without having panic attacks
<cmd102> Question from KDawg : For Faye: how did you feel about Felix basing such a popular story off of you and your experiences?
<TheColdPeople> let me ask her, she's here
<TheColdPeople> "Originally it was funny, but then I was surprised how popular it got, and then it became sort of scary, because now everyone knows how weird I am. My parents are afraid that people know too much about me"
<TheColdPeople> "But I'm glad I was able to inspire Felix to write something cool. But I hope people don't think I'm a freak"
<cmd102> Question from notyourcure : Can you rate the song 'Play That Funky Music' out of 10, 10 being the highest, 1 being the lowest?
<TheColdPeople> My dad always tells this story about how he and my uncle went to a wedding, and the DJ played that song, but he kept scratching out the "White boy" part. My uncle walked over there and shouted at him and told him to play the damn song lmao
<TheColdPeople> so...10
<cmd102> Question from rowenne : how would you react if someone did this: https://redd.it/6r6ws7 to you? tldr: bf erases gf's novel plot from a whiteboard she'd been working on for 3yrs.
<TheColdPeople> has this person never heard of a computer?
<TheColdPeople> I've actually got a cupboard filled with about 40 journals, each full of ideas/pieces/stories/book plots. Faye knows to NEVER move anything in it, because they're organized in a way that only makes sense to me. I guess I'd be furious if she moved them or got rid of them
<cmd102> Question from rowenne : have you considered writing children's horror? would it be like R.L. Stine or more of a Dr. Seuss style?
<TheColdPeople> R L Stine was a god to me growing up. I had every single one of his Goosebumps books (of the original collection anyway, I think up to 1996). Let's Get Invisible was my first, and my favorite was The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight. I'd love to write children's horror but I think my writing is just innately too dark for that. I have no kids so I don't know to write to them
<cmd102> question from poppymoonray : How did Faye feel about recording the video interview for nosleep?
<TheColdPeople> She has terrible stage fright. Hates public speaking. Super, super shy. But most of that video is the truth; she only made up a little bit. The majority of what she says about her childhood actually happened. So it was easier for her to tell the truth, rather than perform a lie
<cmd102> Question from Hayong : Will you marry me? and why is the answer "Of course you sexy korean man!"?
<TheColdPeople> 너 나에게 너무 섹시 해!
<cmd102> Question from KDawg : How did you celebrate when you were optioned?
<TheColdPeople> You want the real answer?
<TheColdPeople> I sat in my car, blared "Still Dre," and cried
<TheColdPeople> then I walked into my house and took Faye out for some glass bottle root beers
<cmd102> Question from NotMikey :  How do you think you'll be when you're fifty?
<TheColdPeople> Probably a Republican. Faye always points out that when she first met me, I was a bleeding-heart liberal, and as I've grown older and dealt with my students more and more, I've begun to shift closer to the center...
<cmd102> Question from cmd102 :  Did you think it was weird when the Backstreet Boys asked the masses if they were sexual? Follow up question: In your opinion, -were- they sexual?
<TheColdPeople> I went to a Backstreet Boys concert with three of my male coworkers in 2013. It was the four of us, and 15,000 women of varying age. The answer is yes. They are sexual.
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : Which member of Guns N Roses do you most wanna fight?
<TheColdPeople> Man they are so terrible. I don't know. Whichever of them weighs less than me
<cmd102> Question from Hayong :  FMK: any of the authors in this chat (or nosleep in general, if you're not familiar with those in the chat)
<TheColdPeople> What's FMK?
<cmd102> Fuck, Marry, Kill
<TheColdPeople> LOL
<TheColdPeople> oh jesus
<TheColdPeople> Faye says none of that is happening
<cmd102> Question from KDawg :  Have you ever considered collaborating with another author from the NoSleep community? If so, who?
<TheColdPeople> Yes there are two that have approached me for serious collaboration. I want to do it. But they asked me in the middle of writing Stolen Tongues, which was a massive project. So I said yes, but give me some time please, because I need a serious break. Something will be in the works soon...
<cmd102> Question from KDawg : How do you feel about stories with games and apps used in them?
<TheColdPeople> I haven't really read many of those on NoSleep, but every time they try to make a horror film involving Facebook or Skype or whatever, it's never any good.
<cmd102> Question from NotMikey : What would you say is your number one pet peeve when it comes to writing/reading?
<TheColdPeople> I'll tell you one thing, my editor and co-author Colin J. Northwood (who coauthored my other book, The Cold People), told me that if I ever used another semicolon he'd strangle me to death. I use them way, way, way too much, and not always properly either.
<TheColdPeople> With others, I think the rule "less is more" is so often forgotten. Your story doesn't have to be full of gore and rape to be scary. A simple cat meowing at an empty closet can be terrifying, if done correctly.
<TheColdPeople> Also, some of the names that people come up with for their NoSleep stories...the name is really important. It decides whether anybody clicks on it or not. Ambiguous names like "I found something" and "Where did she go" makes people move right past. X
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being most, how hard did you cry when Macaulay Culkin died in My Girl?
<TheColdPeople> i never saw it lol
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : You mentioned in your interview that MRCG was written free form as you were posting the entries. Did you plan any of your single part stories in advance?
<TheColdPeople> Only as the series got more and more popular. I think after the fifth entry I realized I really needed to deliver a solid deathblow of an ending, because now tens of thousands of people are logging in to read it each day. It was all over Storypick, so I had like 50,000 people in India reading it too. Way too much pressure. Fortunately people seemed to like the ending as much as the beginning!
<cmd102> Question from Hayong : How often do you read Nosleep stories? and what story in the past 3 months impacted you the most?
<TheColdPeople> If any of you have read "Stolen Tongues," the first chapter is about a creepy parrot my buddy owned. I thought, "This is the greatest opening chapter of any horror book ever. It's totally unique." and then one night, I went on NoSleep, and the top story was about a creepy parrot. I was so furious I didn't read NoSleep for MONTHS. I wanted to quit writing forever.
<TheColdPeople> During MRCG, I read NoSleep daily. After Stolen Tongues came out, I took a few months break. Just started reading again! Finally read "Feed the Pig" and that also made me want to quit writing lol
<cmd102> Question from cmd102 : What's your favorite emoji?
<TheColdPeople> I'm old school. The horse with the crossed eyes or the pirate with an erection are my go-to emojis
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : Bananas: Friend or foe?
<TheColdPeople> It depends. For some people, they clog up your colon. For others, they purge it. One of the greatest mysteries of fruit.
<TheColdPeople> IT'S INSOLUBLE FIBER, PEOPLE!!
<cmd102> Question from poppymoonray : Are there any specific horror mythos you've yet to explore in your writing that you'd like to?
<TheColdPeople> I want to do some more fantasy horror, which is a really interesting subgenre of high fantasy. Something like "dark fantasy" but with even more horror injected in there. More aliens stuff too. Everybody likes government/aliens/coverups.
<cmd102> Question from Hayong : pb&Jelly or pb&honey?
<TheColdPeople> a TASTEFUL dash of honey on a PB&J can grant you superpowers
<TheColdPeople> also for all of you pizza gobblers, here's a trick that's sure to get you laid:
<TheColdPeople> before putting the pizza in the oven, acquire a small jar of pizza sauce from the supermarket, and spread a bit of it around the outer rim of the pizza. Then, when you pull the pizza out of the oven, carefully sprinkle a few teaspoons of olive oil over it, and shake some italian seasoning conservatively
<TheColdPeople> turn that cardboard crap into a masterpiece
<cmd102> Question from KDawg : How do you feel about the current state of the NoSleep community?
<TheColdPeople> I haven't really had my finger on the pulse lately. But the way I see it, people are generally friendly and supportive; most of the comments are nice, and the mods do a good job of removing the chuff. I've noticed that sometimes people complain that the stories aren't scary "anymore"
<TheColdPeople> People have a tendency to view the world in a declensionist way. They think that X used to be better in the past than it is today
<TheColdPeople> you see this in politics a lot. The world is a mess, it used to be so much better, everything's gone to shit, etc. etc. etc.
<TheColdPeople> NoSleep is full of good and bad stories and good and bad people. I have seen no change
<cmd102> Question from Hayong : Are you at the point to where you can call yourself a staple writer on NoSleep?
<TheColdPeople> Never. I count my lucky stars if any of my post-MRCG stories get support. I'm a one-hit-wonder if there ever was one. Where do I go now, after a story like that?
<cmd102> Question from cmd102 : Any advice for new or aspiring writers (on nosleep or otherwise)?
<TheColdPeople> Yes
<TheColdPeople> let me copy/paste it from a conversation I just had with a NoSleep author who contacted me via FB
<TheColdPeople> Always write because you love doing it, and never because you want others to like it. If you keep doing it, eventually, others will start to love it too.
<TheColdPeople> I sometimes come up with ideas for stories and do not pursue them specifically because I believe no one will find them scary enough. But just try to finish the projects you really like, and don't worry if nobody ends up liking it. Tons of my stories aren't popular at all. I still love writing them.
<TheColdPeople> We all have that tendency to seek approval for the things we create. It's just an instinct you have to learn to ignore. Another good strategy for dealing with it, I've found, is writing a ton of stories, and then selecting your favorites for NoSleep. That's a lot more productive and less stressful than writing one story specifically for NoSleep, having it be downvoted, and then starting another story. Take a few months off and just write. Not everything has to be perfect or submission-quality. Writing as a process is just as important as the final product of a good story.
<cmd102> That's all, folks! Thank you SO much, TheColdPeople, for answering all of our questions. And thank you to those who sent them! Keep an eye out on r/nosleepinterviews for our next victim, Creeping_Dread!