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Jun 26th, 2017
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  1. 01[03:49] <PurpleXVI> It's a few days out unto the choppy waters of the Sea of Moving Ice. Under Dane's incredible piloting and Tekra's incredibly accurate navigation(even though anyone paying attention might've noticed him occasionally flipping a coin before deciding whether they were going left or right at any given islet or iceberg), they've been making good time towards the X on Jorus' map!
  2. 01[03:50] <PurpleXVI> That morning, a small bird arrived with a couple of letters for Katrin and in the afternoon, as the winds picked up, a quasit arrived. Dark red, scorpion-tailed, winged, about the size of a volleyball and barely able to keep clear of the waters, it collapses in the middle of the deck with a package from Aran. Tightly bound and wrapped, and bigger than the quasit itself.
  3. [03:50] <Dane> "We got mail!"
  4. 06[03:50] * RinRin pokes the quasit a few tunes with her toe. "Yes, a delivery from Aran and, unless I am mistakin, some missives from Karin."
  5. [03:50] <RinRin> *times
  6. 01[03:51] <PurpleXVI> The small demon rolls over, puffing and wheezing. Rin thinks she catches something about sueing Aran for violating Summons' Rights.
  7. [03:51] <Dane> "Oh? What does she say?"
  8. [03:53] <Dane> "And what's in the package?"
  9. 01[03:53] <PurpleXVI> The package is lumpy and uneven, maybe opening it, shaking it or prodding at it would yield more information!
  10. [03:54] <RinRin> "It appears that I may be due an inheritance. Perhaps even two."
  11. 06[03:54] * RinRin unwraps the package carefully.
  12. [03:54] <Dane> "I'm so sorry for your loss."
  13. 06[03:55] * Dane sort of peers, without leaving the wheel
  14. [03:55] <Tekracharnachk> "Natural causes or "natural" causes?"
  15. [03:55] <Tekracharnachk> "Also how big's the inheritance(s)."
  16. 06[03:56] * Tekracharnachk pronounces 'inheritance(s).' None of you are certain how
  17. 01[03:56] <PurpleXVI> Everything inside the package is wrapped in a thick layer of cloth, it takes a bit of work to figure out that it's actually a robe. Old, stained and patched many times over, but humming with unmistakeable mystic power! A small note attached from Aran says that it's his old apprentice robe and is charmed with POTENT DEFENSIVE MAGICS. It's also terribly unfashionable.
  18. [03:57] <RinRin> "I will have to travel to Waterdeep to be certain. Apparently my great uncle Fezzwick owned a keep at some point, and all has devolved to me as sole surviving heir. Also the Church of Kelemvor reports a mostly ruined fort overlooking the High Wood that they would very much like to speak to the owner of, and apparently the owner is me."
  19. 06[03:57] * Tekracharnachk glares at the robe
  20. [03:58] <RinRin> "Or at least that is what their records show."
  21. 06[03:59] * RinRin prods the quasit a few more times to see if it's going to get up or disapparate or something.
  22. 01[03:59] <PurpleXVI> The remainder of the package's contents clatter across the deck as the robe is unpackaged. They seem to be small knickknacks, an egg-sized stone made of some semi-precious material, a jar of ointment and a rusty iron sphere.
  23. [03:59] <Dane> "Keeps and forts!"
  24. 01[03:59] <PurpleXVI> The quasit flails at Rin and complains, waving its scorpion tail around and getting up, "Stop poking me!" It complains, in a screechy voice.
  25. 01[03:59] <PurpleXVI> There's also something stashed in one of the robe's pockets.
  26. 06[04:00] * Tekracharnachk lifts the robes
  27. [04:00] <Tekracharnachk> "I'll have to alter these."
  28. 03[04:01] * DiceMaid-9001 is now known as HigginsvonHiggins
  29. 03[04:01] * HigginsvonHiggins is now known as DiceMaid-9001
  30. [04:01] <RinRin> "Fezzwick Keep and Dawnguard Fort. My concern is that the former's deed is being held by Fentan and Ilsenstein, a firm that appears to employ either my old associate or a relative thereof."
  31. [04:01] <RinRin> "Which raises the possibilities of a counter-scam."
  32. [04:01] <Hodekin> "Why counter-scam?"
  33. 01[04:03] <PurpleXVI> After a bit the quasit seems to remember something and presents a document for Rin to sign. It's a waiver confirming that she received the shipment.
  34. 06[04:03] * RinRin sighs, takes it, and reads it. Including the fine print.
  35. 01[04:05] <PurpleXVI> The waiver turns out to actually be entirely on the level. Mostly it's Rin promising fifty different ways that she won't sue if anything was damaged in transit, accidentally ended up in the wrong place, at the wrong time, if the shipment interrupted a stealthy mission, if it was dropped on her head or if the messenger was eaten underway.
  36. 06[04:05] * Tekracharnachk takes whatever it is out of the robe's pockets
  37. [04:05] <Tekracharnachk> "I expect you'll all want me to start identifying this stuff free of charge, then?"
  38. [04:06] <Dane> "Why bother, that robe is HORRIBLE."
  39. [04:06] <Tekracharnachk> "I can make it better."
  40. [04:06] <Tekracharnachk> "I mean, these robes were terrible and grey when I got them!"
  41. 06[04:06] * Tekracharnachk geastures to the horrifying gold/silver/purple monstrocity he wears
  42. 01[04:07] <PurpleXVI> It looks like a pair of completely useless glasses, to Tekra. From the inside everything is coloured dark, and from the outside it's like looking at a pair of mirrors. Completely non-utilitarian.
  43. 06[04:07] * Tekracharnachk looks through the glasses
  44. 06[04:07] * RinRin signs Sir Jorus' name.
  45. [04:07] <Tekracharnachk> "These appear to be non-magical glasses. Not sure what the purpose of these are"
  46. [04:07] <Dane> "Glasses? Let me see---"
  47. 06[04:07] * Tekracharnachk hands them over
  48. 06[04:07] * Dane takes them, and suddenly TIME STOPS.
  49. [04:08] <Dane> "I... I could never..."
  50. [04:08] <Dane> "This... I was born for this. I was born to hold this wonder in my hands."
  51. [04:08] <Dane> "I..."
  52. 06[04:08] * Dane puts the MIRRORED SUNGLASSES on in slow motion
  53. [04:09] <Dane> "I WEAR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT."
  54. 06[04:09] * RinRin rolls her eyes so hard she sprains something. "Tekracharnachk, do we know what this other detritus is used for?"
  55. 06[04:09] * Dane takes the wheel, LIKE A BOSS
  56. [04:10] <Tekracharnachk> "I could try identifying it"
  57. [04:10] <Tekracharnachk> "Maybe the glasses are enchanted, too"
  58. 01[04:11] <PurpleXVI> The setting sun glints dramatically off of Dane's mirrored shades.
  59. [04:11] <Dane> "They are fine. They are juuuuuuuuuuust fine."
  60. [04:11] <RinRin> "That sounds like a reasonable course of action - except you have a tendency to make things randomly explode, and we are on a small ship."
  61. 06[04:12] * Tekracharnachk scowls
  62. [04:12] <Tekracharnachk> "What do you want from me then, woman?"
  63. [04:13] <Dane> "Ladies, gentlemen. Everything is going to be juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine."
  64. [04:13] <RinRin> "We do have water breathing scrolls. Have at."
  65. [04:15] <Hodekin> Suddenly, the sky darkens, as a murder of crows approaches the ship...
  66. [04:15] <Tekracharnachk> "Sure, once it's daytime again."
  67. 06[04:15] * Tekracharnachk glances up
  68. [04:16] <Tekracharnachk> "I mean, once that large group of birds leaves least it decide to try to attack us while I am in the middle of an ARCANE TRANCE!"
  69. 06[04:16] * Tekracharnachk picks up the ointment to see if it's labeled and examines the knicknacks
  70. 06[04:17] * RinRin eyes these birds. "I suspect it is a delivery from our absent druid."
  71. 01[04:18] <PurpleXVI> Tekra recognizes the label on the ointment, if rubbed on a wound(or eaten, though it tastes horrible, like salty licorice), it counters poison and disease, as well as being useful for promoting the healing of wounds. The stone is undoubtedly an Ioun Stone, useful magical items that nonetheless make you look completely silly by forcing you to have a rock circling your head.
  72. 01[04:18] <PurpleXVI> He has no damn clue what the rusty iron ball is, however.
  73. 06[04:18] * Hodekin waves to the crows and holds out GOODBERRIES, and suddenly they all descend upon him all at the same time, covering him in birds and feathers.
  74. [04:20] <Tekracharnachk> "THe ointment is a healing dohicky, who gives a damn. I have no idea what the iron ball is, it'll need to be identified. It appears our druid is being devoured alive. Also, I'm going to identify this stone later, but, for now..."
  75. [04:20] <Tekracharnachk> "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO! :D :D :D"
  76. [04:20] <Hodekin> "Birds wait tu-"
  77. 06[04:20] * Tekracharnachk puts the stone a bit away from his head and lets go so it begins to circle
  78. [04:20] <RinRin> "Truly a wonder to behold."
  79. [04:21] <Dane> "It might be a bowling ball."
  80. 06[04:22] * Hodekin shakes the birds off, one by one, with a growing pile of small pouches at his feet.
  81. 01[04:22] <PurpleXVI> Tekra finds an odd feeling start to invade his skull.
  82. [04:22] <Tekracharnachk> "Ow. My skull."
  83. 01[04:23] <PurpleXVI> He feels... less like being randomly impulsive, like he's going to consider his actions a bit more from now on, look a bit more within himself, maybe spend some time being introspective in general, less loud, more of a people person. He feels... WISER.
  84. 03[04:23] * fufufu has joined #Swords
  85. 03[04:23] * fufufu is now known as Karin
  86. 06[04:24] * Tekracharnachk grabs the stone in mid orbit with a >:| look on his face
  87. [04:24] <Tekracharnachk> "Ok, no."
  88. [04:24] <Tekracharnachk> "This one isn't for me."
  89. [04:24] <Tekracharnachk> "Kobold, you take it."
  90. [04:24] <Hodekin> "Hodekin not really understand, but Hodekin take."
  91. 06[04:25] * Hodekin accepts the stone and kind of waves it around.
  92. [04:25] <Tekracharnachk> "Put it next to your head like I did."
  93. 06[04:26] * Hodekin puts it on top of his head?
  94. 06[04:27] * Tekracharnachk snatches the stone and throws it a little bit past Hodekin's head. It is now circling his head in a very speedy manner.
  95. [04:27] <Tekracharnachk> "THERE, YOU INSUFFERABLE DOLT!"
  96. [04:27] <Hodekin> "Whooooooooaaaaaah."
  97. 06[04:27] * Hodekin tries to spin around to keep his eyes on the amazing stone
  98. 06[04:29] * Hodekin eventually spins until he falls over. "Hodekin dizzy..."
  99. [04:30] <RinRin> "Try to ignore it, Hodekin."
  100. 06[04:30] * RinRin idly examines this metal sphere.
  101. 06[04:30] * Tekracharnachk tries looking at the packages the birds dropped
  102. 01[04:31] <PurpleXVI> The metal sphere appears to be made of a lot of iron bands, tightly wrapped around each other. Rather like a rubber band ball, but more metal.
  103. 01[04:32] <PurpleXVI> Looks like Karin's packages are full of meticulously labelled vials and bottles!
  104. [04:32] <Karin> It's a potion, labelled "wildflower infusion"
  105. [04:35] <Tekracharnachk> "Bunch of potions."
  106. [04:35] <Dane> "Potions are alright."
  107. [04:35] <Tekracharnachk> "Something called 'wildflower infusion'"
  108. 06[04:38] * Tekracharnachk reads the notes
  109. 06[04:38] * RinRin digs through and retrieves the bliding and concealing smoke potions. "I may be able to make some use of these."
  110. [04:38] <Tekracharnachk> "Dane, this ones for you. Makes your arrows hit like those really big arrows on those really big crossbow thingies. Whatever, who cares."
  111. [04:38] <Tekracharnachk> "Rin, 'blinding blindness powder.' Yes, let's give you even more ways to fool, trick, and sneak up on others, FANTASTIC IDEA!"
  112. [04:39] <Dane> "Sword Coast Long Bow chambered for 55-70 mm rounds, thank you very much. "
  113. [04:39] <Tekracharnachk> "Also Rin I suppose, oils of conceiling smoke. Don't even have a witty response for that."
  114. [04:39] <Tekracharnachk> "And for me, Wildflower Infusion."
  115. [04:39] <Tekracharnachk> "...Oh, I'm going to have fun with this one."
  116. [04:40] <RinRin> "I am not sure whether that is a good thing to hear or a terrible thing to hear. I suspect it may actually be both."
  117. [04:41] <Tekracharnachk> "Don't worry, I won't drink it while identifying objects."
  118. [04:41] <Tekracharnachk> "Speaking of which! Dane, the glasses. Rin, the orb."
  119. 06[04:42] * RinRin hands over the orb.
  120. 02[04:43] * Karin has quit IRC (Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.86 [Firefox 3.6.10/20100914125854])
  121. [04:43] <Tekracharnachk> "I'll say, that was rather kind of Karin
  122. 06[04:43] * Tekracharnachk just used her actual name for perhaps the first time :O
  123. [04:45] <Hodekin> "Anything for Hodekin?" :D
  124. [04:45] <Tekracharnachk> "No. :)"
  125. [04:45] <Hodekin> :(
  126. [04:45] <Hodekin> "Hodekin sad, but perhaps feel like he understand world a bit better now." :(
  127. 06[04:46] * Tekracharnachk takes off one of his cufflinks and makes a potion out of them and an owl feather, then drinks it, belches loudly, and begins identifying
  128. [04:47] <Tekracharnachk> "First up! Orb!"
  129. 06[04:47] * Tekracharnachk examines it!
  130. 01[04:48] <PurpleXVI> The Orb is a pretty sweet piece of magical gear known as the IRON BANDS OF BILARO, assuming the user knows the command word, they can leap out and constrict around someone! Of course, if said someone is huge and strong and just tears their way out, the item is completely ruined for good.
  131. [04:49] <RinRin> "Command word. Quite helpful of Aran to provide that."
  132. 01[04:51] <PurpleXVI> It's easy to get the impression that Aran just shovelled some miscellaneous arcane junk into a sack and mailed it off to get the adventurers off his back.
  133. 06[04:52] * RinRin has already decided this is exactly what Aran did.
  134. 03[04:52] * Mittim has joined #Swords
  135. 03[04:53] * Mittim is now known as Jorus
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