bullshitter 7

I'm just going to write what's on my mind. I have to get through this weirdness, this depression. I have to keep punching through or I'm going to lose my damned mind. this... Person, who's been elected as commander in cheif, I don't care. Maybe i do care, but i'm afraid to speak my mind on it, even though I've already done it. No... that's not what's on my mind. I feel... Cut off. alone, on my own even though I've got friends a plenty. And yeah, this is the boring shit nobody cares about, everyone'll make fun of and has little relevance to whatever the fuck the big three are covering. Because I don't give a dead rats ass about that at the moment.  I just want to blog about what's on my mind, about getting through the fucking fog of thought and land, somewhat safely at my fucking crazy ass land mine of thoughts.

I don't care if that made no sense, I'm kind of sick of being ignored, or not really taken seriously. I'm sick of trying to appeal to everyone and ultimately not getting the results I want with the methods I have available to me. I'm sick of nearly going insane on a nightly basis at around this time because of one reason or another.

I'm just tired of this life I'm living. where my goals seem to be drifting further and further away. I'm tired of feeling so fucking exhausted but having to slog through every fucking stupid detail. Yet, the answer is another question. Fuck the question and the answer, which are just a fucking looping crap song on repeat. Fuck uploading, recording getting stressed or not stressed enough, fuck relationships and finding love, the pressure to go out and get laid. Fuck driving, the constant pressure to learn to drive and buy a damned car.

Fuck being appealing to others, getting a job because that shit is fucking impossible under the easiest of circumstance. Fuck having to feel nervous around women because you fear they'll, at any moment if they so much as feel a tinge of fucking fear call you a jackass and curse your name. Just fuck it all... I'm so fucking exhausted I have no idea what day of the month it is half the time. I venting my damned stresses, I don't expect you to like or love it or even read it. I'm just pissed off at a bunch of things right now, I'm angry, lonely, and sad. But not desperate. I've always gotta feel empathy for everyone, and yet when push comes to shove, some over tanned ass fucker is made President of the US!? how much fucking bullshit is that? No experience, everything wrong with the american mentality, and just.... I'm tired of being. Just simply standing around waiting for the next thing to drop on my head like, "Well, here we go. Better get used to this.

there are those of you who are wondering what's going on.... I'm destressing.