REDACTED Leak

So much has been happening today, I feel terrible to be the one speaking now. But I can't keep lying to people anymore. Here are the fake aliases for the REDACTED divisions.

Ocelot - ToasterWithLegs
buntino - MemeLover420
freddie-m-28 - AnOldMan
DrMine24( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) - Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
Culnan - Mario7Granddad
John_79Au - LegallySkilled
Lucky Gamer - ReeKid
mister x - Quikscopr

And while we're here, I found out a little bit about their personal lives.

Ocelot - Ocelot was never a human being. Codenamed Adaptoid, Ocelot is an AI with one sole directive- do not let anyone know that. Ocelot is capable of listening to human speech, cadence, and linguistics, and replicate them in a variety of voices and languages. He was realeased into the world of Rec Room in an attempt to copy human motion as well as voice, with the end goal of creating a robot virtually indistinguishable from a human- that is, until the wrist-mounted flamethrowers come out.
Current Whereabouts- Chamber 34 in Area 51, on seven 100 TB hard drives.

Buntino - Buntino was a relatively unknown businessman who was in a hard place. Expenses were catching up to him, and he needed a brilliant idea. Thus, Buntinos were created- a spinoff of Totinos, but with hamburger buns. 12 varieties were released at launch, every single one a massive commercial failure. (Except in Louisiana- it's a cult classic there.) Enraged, Buntino adopted the name of his product and swore revenge against those he deemed tasteless swines.
Current Whereabouts- Bologna, Italy

freddie-m-28 - Freddie was a gamer since the Atari. From a young age, he was enthralled with the idea of fictional universes, and spent a fair bit of his life chasing that wonder in with his studies of quantum anomolies. To him, VR isn't a game- it's a way to explore the unknown without risk of bodily harm and mutilation. Freddie is one of the biggest developers of headset-telemetry, possessing even the strangest of things, as long as they have wi-fi. Any fun experienced during his experiments is purely scientific in nature. (That's me being sarcastic.)
Current Whereabouts- Station 7, Antarctica

DrMine24 - A parallel to Freddie in many ways, but with comics instead of games, and slightly less idealistic. It was part of the good doctor's weekly regimen to wake up early for cartoons before school. He loved seeing superheroes fight supervillains with explosions and gadgets everywhere. Little did he know that 20 years later, a meme would change his life. Not because of the content, but because of the effects. Mine feverishly studied memes and psychology, becoming a subtle but masterful manipulator. He's talked his way into and out of many bank vaults, using the stolen profits to further his research. Once the time is right, he'll unleash his signal across the world, bending it to his will in one fell swoop.
Current Whereabouts- Secret Base, Mars

Culnan - One of the candidates for the Gen Z program. The idea is to create fearless soldiers by exposing them to life-or-death virtual simulations daily. Through repeated exposure, they learn to fear nothing- not torture nor pain or even death- while becoming extremely proficient with firearms, subterfuge, crowd control, explosives, psychological warfare, hand to hand combat... The only way candidates may relax is by playing Rec Room, which ever so coincidentally, has many PvP and combat modes. Shellshocked and unstable, expect the unexpected when up against this science experiment.
Current Whereabouts- Murica, Murica

John79Au- Who better to nominate for general of the army than an actual military mastermind? During the later battles of WWIII, the fighting only got fiercer as the furries dug their paws in, unwilling to lose. General John, (only a lieutenant at that time) was the highest ranking man there, after their company's leader had been killed in their sleep. Instead of surrendering, John led the remaining YouTubers in a last desperate attack, one that caught the furries totally unaware and broke their defenses, signaling the end of the war. John was rapidly promoted until roughly 3 months after the war's end, where he resigned and lived comfortably in retirement. But don't be fooled- he may look calm, but beneath that smile is a warrior with passion.
Current Whereabouts-
Toronto, Canada


Lucky Gamer- Better known by his real-life alias, Jackpot. Once an ordinary citizen, being in the wrong place at the wrong time earned him the ire of a particularly nasty mafia family. But Jackpot, unlike most other people, was able to turn the tables. Now he's the top dog, and head of one of the biggest crime syndicates the world has ever seen. By day, he has a hand in most, if not all of the world's big casinos and clubs. By night, black markets boom with productivity and trade. Rich beyond his dreams, he relaxes in his mansion, surfing the dark web, cooking meth, (and pizza, he makes a good pizza) and playing Rec Room. Be careful who you cross- they might have friends in high places.
Current Whereabouts-
Brest, France

mister x- What a symbolic name. In algebra, x is used to designate a variable- something unknown and with infinite possibilites. X himself is very much like that, so much so that his ability to stay off the radar is his defining trait. Don't ask for him, no one will be able to answer. Don't google him, he has no internet presence. Governments all over the world seek him, but they have nothing. For all we (myself included) know, he could be Mister X from Streets of Rage. Or maybe he's just another robot. One thing's for sure- the world is a giant game of hide and seek to X, and he's playing to win.
Current Whereabouts-
Earth, probably?

But all of the above pales in the face of what I saved for last.
It's the Militia's final directive.
SCORCHED EARTH.

"SCORCHED EARTH is the standard procedure to contain an information leak. Should there be any breach in security in any Redacted division, the Militia is to be locked down. All members will be questioned. Those unwilling to subject to questioning are to be terminated. Identifying the breach and its source is priority one. Should the breach be from willful disobedience as detailed in Section 1.2, the guilty offender(s) are to be terminated. Those that know or are suspected of knowing classified information are considered to have applied to ISD. Any dropouts or failures are to be terminated.
In the event that secrecy is completely and totally comprimised, all members (excepting Overseers and non-offending REDACTED members) are to be terminated. All communication servers are to be shut down. Remaining personnel are to connect to the SCORCHED EARTH server. An emergency meeting is to be held 24 hours after the directive is given. Attendence is mandatory. The council will then decide if the Militia will resume normal operations, resume but with restrictions, or disband entirely."