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- 0
- 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,558
- Hello?
- 2
- 00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:15,016
- You've had an accident.
- 3
- 00:06:16,851 --> 00:06:18,476
- You need an ambulance.
- 4
- 00:06:18,476 --> 00:06:21,601
- I'll call for one.
- I'll be right back.
- 5
- 00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:24,935
- - Lie still here.
- - No.
- 6
- 00:06:24,935 --> 00:06:26,601
- No.
- 7
- 00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:28,893
- No what?
- 8
- 00:06:28,893 --> 00:06:31,269
- I don't need an ambulance.
- 9
- 00:06:31,269 --> 00:06:33,352
- I can clearly see you do.
- 10
- 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:36,434
- I'll call for one.
- 11
- 00:06:36,434 --> 00:06:38,143
- In that case,
- I'll be up and gone
- 12
- 00:06:38,143 --> 00:06:40,599
- before you have time
- to come back.
- 13
- 00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:44,726
- That will hurt.
- 14
- 00:06:44,726 --> 00:06:48,641
- That's possible.
- But it doesn't matter to me.
- 15
- 00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:55,766
- I assume you don't want me
- to call the police either.
- 16
- 00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:59,933
- Yes, that's exactly right.
- 17
- 00:07:05,351 --> 00:07:07,641
- Is there anything you want?
- 18
- 00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:20,016
- I'd like a cup of tea
- with some milk.
- 19
- 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,058
- Well...
- 20
- 00:07:26,185 --> 00:07:30,060
- You have to come with me.
- 21
- 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,641
- I don't serve tea in the street.
- 22
- 00:07:35,685 --> 00:07:37,558
- Can you walk?
- 23
- 00:07:38,351 --> 00:07:39,641
- Yeah.
- 24
- 00:07:42,268 --> 00:07:44,558
- I've even bought a cake.
- 25
- 00:07:50,476 --> 00:07:52,266
- Here's a pajama.
- 26
- 00:07:53,893 --> 00:07:55,018
- Thank you.
- 27
- 00:07:55,018 --> 00:07:57,309
- I've made up the bed for you.
- 28
- 00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:59,349
- With clean sheets.
- 29
- 00:08:17,309 --> 00:08:19,766
- - Sorry.
- - That's okay.
- 30
- 00:08:22,142 --> 00:08:24,016
- There.
- 31
- 00:08:32,518 --> 00:08:36,182
- - I'll wash your clothes.
- - Not my coat.
- 32
- 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,726
- It smells rather badly.
- 33
- 00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:41,516
- It's my coat.
- 34
- 00:08:42,268 --> 00:08:44,266
- The smell won't come off anyway.
- 35
- 00:08:45,518 --> 00:08:47,140
- It's your coat.
- 36
- 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,641
- - Do you take sugar?
- - No, thank you.
- 37
- 00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:58,140
- There you go.
- 38
- 00:08:59,893 --> 00:09:01,683
- Thank you.
- 39
- 00:09:07,726 --> 00:09:09,307
- So what happened?
- 40
- 00:09:10,309 --> 00:09:12,057
- Were you robbed?
- 41
- 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,307
- It's my own fault.
- 42
- 00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,974
- I'm just a bad human being.
- 43
- 00:09:23,351 --> 00:09:25,685
- I've never met
- a bad human being.
- 44
- 00:09:25,685 --> 00:09:27,182
- Well, you have now.
- 45
- 00:09:29,643 --> 00:09:32,351
- Do you want to talk about it?
- 46
- 00:09:32,351 --> 00:09:34,266
- You wouldn't understand.
- 47
- 00:09:37,101 --> 00:09:38,516
- Well, try me.
- 48
- 00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:43,307
- But I wouldn't know where to start.
- 49
- 00:09:53,142 --> 00:09:56,934
- Why is that ridiculous
- fishhook hanging there?
- 50
- 00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:59,184
- That's a fly.
- 51
- 00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:02,685
- I caught a fish with it once,
- a rather big one.
- 52
- 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,558
- Strangely enough.
- 53
- 00:10:07,892 --> 00:10:10,309
- Fly fishing
- is about tying feathers
- 54
- 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,182
- and other things to a hook
- 55
- 00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:16,393
- so it resembles something
- the fish likes to eat.
- 56
- 00:10:16,393 --> 00:10:19,518
- And then because
- the fly is very light,
- 57
- 00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:22,057
- you have to have a line
- that is heavy.
- 58
- 00:10:22,976 --> 00:10:25,349
- It creates the velocity
- when you cast.
- 59
- 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:40,349
- - You fish a lot?
- - Well, some.
- 60
- 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,641
- But I don't catch much.
- 61
- 00:10:44,976 --> 00:10:47,848
- The locals catch a lot more.
- 62
- 00:10:48,892 --> 00:10:51,976
- When I was young, I...
- I had a book I...
- 63
- 00:10:51,976 --> 00:10:53,474
- I worshipped.
- 64
- 00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:02,142
- It was an old book
- by Izaak Walton
- 65
- 00:11:02,142 --> 00:11:03,641
- called "The Complete Angler."
- 66
- 00:11:07,393 --> 00:11:10,391
- It was like a romantic
- nature bible to me.
- 67
- 00:11:21,476 --> 00:11:24,474
- Maybe I know where to start.
- 68
- 00:11:28,017 --> 00:11:31,184
- But if you're to understand, I'll...
- 69
- 00:11:31,184 --> 00:11:34,184
- I'll have to tell you
- the whole story.
- 70
- 00:11:34,184 --> 00:11:36,057
- And it'll be long.
- 71
- 00:11:37,684 --> 00:11:40,099
- Long is good.
- 72
- 00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:44,015
- And moral, I'm afraid.
- 73
- 00:11:55,184 --> 00:11:57,226
- To begin with the bait,
- 74
- 00:11:57,226 --> 00:12:00,182
- I discovered my cunt
- as a two-year-old.
- 75
- 00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:03,723
- "Cunt" is a very strong word.
- 76
- 00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:07,268
- Let's call it
- "Pandora's Box" then.
- 77
- 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:11,351
- Um... No, no, no.
- "Cunt" is better.
- 78
- 00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:14,850
- So, I was a nymphomaniac.
- 79
- 00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:17,476
- Wait a moment, no.
- Nobody can be a nymphomaniac
- 80
- 00:12:17,476 --> 00:12:19,101
- when they're only two years old.
- 81
- 00:12:19,101 --> 00:12:20,725
- I don't think even the strictest God
- 82
- 00:12:20,725 --> 00:12:24,349
- would see anything else
- than a child's normal behavior.
- 83
- 00:12:25,059 --> 00:12:27,517
- What about fetuses?
- It's common knowledge
- 84
- 00:12:27,517 --> 00:12:30,557
- that fetuses often touch
- their genital organs.
- 85
- 00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:34,057
- Can a fetus somehow be sinful?
- 86
- 00:12:35,268 --> 00:12:37,142
- Why not?
- 87
- 00:12:37,142 --> 00:12:39,475
- Not according to any religion I know,
- 88
- 00:12:39,475 --> 00:12:42,101
- unless it's an original sin.
- 89
- 00:12:42,101 --> 00:12:43,473
- Ancestral.
- 90
- 00:12:46,184 --> 00:12:49,848
- Or perhaps according to a religion
- that doesn't exist yet.
- 91
- 00:12:50,475 --> 00:12:54,101
- According to a god that hasn't
- yet manifested himself.
- 92
- 00:12:54,101 --> 00:12:56,473
- But then you can imagine anything.
- 93
- 00:13:01,475 --> 00:13:04,892
- At an early age,
- I was mechanically inclined.
- 94
- 00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:09,682
- Kinetic energy, for example,
- has always fascinated me.
- 95
- 00:13:10,392 --> 00:13:13,892
- And my friend,
- let's call her "B,"
- 96
- 00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:16,057
- always came up with the ideas.
- 97
- 00:13:17,725 --> 00:13:21,140
- Playing frogs was one
- of B's classics.
- 98
- 00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,308
- Joe, are you all right?
- 99
- 00:13:47,308 --> 00:13:49,182
- Just a moment.
- 100
- 00:13:51,433 --> 00:13:52,765
- Are you done?
- 101
- 00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:06,057
- For Christ's sakes,
- leave them alone.
- 102
- 00:14:07,184 --> 00:14:09,475
- I loved my father very much.
- 103
- 00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:10,848
- He was a doctor.
- 104
- 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,350
- My mother's name was Katherine.
- 105
- 00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,390
- My father called her Kay.
- 106
- 00:14:18,142 --> 00:14:21,723
- I suppose she was what
- you'd call "a cold bitch."
- 107
- 00:14:22,559 --> 00:14:26,433
- She always had her back turned
- when she played solitaire.
- 108
- 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,223
- I hated solitaire.
- 109
- 00:14:34,809 --> 00:14:37,767
- When we had P.E.,
- I'd climb up into the ropes
- 110
- 00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:42,139
- and hang there for ages
- with the rope between my legs.
- 111
- 00:14:42,976 --> 00:14:45,809
- "The Sensation" we called it.
- 112
- 00:14:45,809 --> 00:14:50,015
- I remember very distinctly
- this word, "sensation."
- 113
- 00:14:56,308 --> 00:15:00,308
- Perhaps the only difference
- between me and other people
- 114
- 00:15:00,308 --> 00:15:04,098
- was that I've always demanded
- more from the sunset.
- 115
- 00:15:04,934 --> 00:15:09,765
- More spectacular colors
- when the sun hit the horizon.
- 116
- 00:15:12,225 --> 00:15:14,181
- That's perhaps my only sin.
- 117
- 00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:20,223
- Why are you insisting
- that children are sinful?
- 118
- 00:15:21,183 --> 00:15:22,892
- Not children.
- 119
- 00:15:22,892 --> 00:15:23,807
- Me.
- 120
- 00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:27,181
- I don't see sin anywhere.
- 121
- 00:15:27,684 --> 00:15:29,809
- But then I'm not religious.
- 122
- 00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:32,892
- Well, that's because you don't
- know the rest of the story.
- 123
- 00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:35,014
- And by the way,
- I'm not religious either.
- 124
- 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,475
- Why would you take the most
- unsympathetic aspect
- 125
- 00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:41,890
- of religion such as
- the concept of sin...
- 126
- 00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:45,515
- and let it survive beyond religion?
- 127
- 00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:51,807
- I don't understand this self-hatred.
- 128
- 00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:54,267
- Well, that's what I said.
- 129
- 00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:56,723
- - You wouldn't understand.
- - No, I'm...
- 130
- 00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,682
- I'm sorry, I'll shut up.
- 131
- 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,098
- Please continue.
- 132
- 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:21,014
- Nervus... pudendus.
- 133
- 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:30,098
- Nervus dorsalis clitoridis.
- 134
- 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,600
- When the ash tree was created,
- 135
- 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,306
- it made all the other trees
- in the forest jealous.
- 136
- 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,764
- It was the most beautiful tree.
- 137
- 00:17:28,891 --> 00:17:31,014
- You couldn't say
- anything bad about it.
- 138
- 00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:36,058
- It was the World Tree
- in Norse mythology.
- 139
- 00:17:36,058 --> 00:17:38,808
- Remember, Odin...
- 140
- 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,267
- He hung from the ash tree,
- Yggdrasil, for nine days
- 141
- 00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:43,973
- in order to gain insight.
- 142
- 00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:48,639
- The ash tree had
- the strongest wood.
- 143
- 00:17:54,016 --> 00:17:55,931
- Then in the winter...
- 144
- 00:17:58,058 --> 00:18:00,473
- when the ash tree
- lost all of its leaves...
- 145
- 00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:06,308
- all the trees noticed
- its black buds,
- 146
- 00:18:06,308 --> 00:18:08,141
- and started laughing.
- 147
- 00:18:08,141 --> 00:18:10,225
- "Oh, look.
- 148
- 00:18:10,225 --> 00:18:14,014
- The ash tree has had
- its fingers in the ashes."
- 149
- 00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:17,889
- See?
- 150
- 00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:21,933
- You can always tell
- the ash tree in winter
- 151
- 00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,014
- by the black buds.
- 152
- 00:18:34,141 --> 00:18:35,514
- Now...
- 153
- 00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:40,183
- Now this is a lime tree leaf.
- 154
- 00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:43,475
- - Remember?
- - I forgot about the lime tree.
- 155
- 00:18:43,475 --> 00:18:45,597
- I've told you 100 times.
- 156
- 00:18:46,141 --> 00:18:49,100
- My dad loved
- telling me about the trees,
- 157
- 00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,599
- and their leaves,
- and considered it
- 158
- 00:18:51,599 --> 00:18:53,514
- part of a good education.
- 159
- 00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:58,683
- He especially loved the childish
- educational stories he told
- 160
- 00:18:58,683 --> 00:19:01,472
- to help me remember
- what I had learned.
- 161
- 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,183
- I knew how much he loved
- telling those stories.
- 162
- 00:19:05,183 --> 00:19:08,472
- Sometimes I pretended
- I'd forgotten them.
- 163
- 00:19:10,558 --> 00:19:14,223
- Originally, the lime
- tree's leaves were round.
- 164
- 00:19:15,891 --> 00:19:17,933
- A fox had her den
- beneath its roots
- 165
- 00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:19,597
- where she had four cubs.
- 166
- 00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:23,223
- One day, she went out
- looking for food for them.
- 167
- 00:19:23,808 --> 00:19:26,306
- There was a hunt in the forest.
- She was shot.
- 168
- 00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:30,348
- Wounded, she crawled back to the den
- 169
- 00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,639
- where she and the four cubs died.
- 170
- 00:19:36,432 --> 00:19:38,597
- This made the lime tree so sad.
- 171
- 00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,597
- And from then on,
- 172
- 00:19:41,141 --> 00:19:43,847
- the lime tree decided to have...
- 173
- 00:19:45,349 --> 00:19:47,265
- heart-shaped leaves.
- 174
- 00:19:49,058 --> 00:19:52,514
- Oh, yes, that's right.
- Heart-shaped.
- 175
- 00:19:58,307 --> 00:20:00,100
- Am I boring you?
- 176
- 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,599
- No, no. I'm just
- looking forward
- 177
- 00:20:02,599 --> 00:20:05,225
- to how you'll get fishing
- weaved into your tale.
- 178
- 00:20:05,225 --> 00:20:09,307
- You could start with the fly
- on the wall there.
- 179
- 00:20:09,307 --> 00:20:11,014
- It's called a nymph.
- 180
- 00:20:11,766 --> 00:20:13,766
- It will tie in elegantly
- with your discussion
- 181
- 00:20:13,766 --> 00:20:18,891
- about nymphomania.
- A nymph is an early stage
- 182
- 00:20:18,891 --> 00:20:20,722
- in the life of an insect.
- 183
- 00:20:22,849 --> 00:20:25,181
- As a quite young nymph,
- 184
- 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:29,181
- it was imperative for me
- to get rid of my virginity.
- 185
- 00:20:30,058 --> 00:20:31,222
- Hopla.
- 186
- 00:20:32,016 --> 00:20:34,558
- I kind of knew this boy, J,
- 187
- 00:20:34,558 --> 00:20:36,639
- who had a moped.
- 188
- 00:20:37,349 --> 00:20:39,556
- So in my eyes he was
- rather sophisticated.
- 189
- 00:20:40,975 --> 00:20:42,641
- I was 15,
- 190
- 00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:45,349
- and perhaps my girlish,
- romantic expectations
- 191
- 00:20:45,349 --> 00:20:46,847
- were a bit high.
- 192
- 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,681
- But he had good, strong hands.
- 193
- 00:20:55,182 --> 00:20:56,764
- I liked his hands.
- 194
- 00:21:03,683 --> 00:21:05,014
- Hello?
- 195
- 00:21:05,891 --> 00:21:07,597
- - Hi.
- - Hi.
- 196
- 00:21:21,724 --> 00:21:24,847
- If I asked you to take my virginity
- would that be a problem?
- 197
- 00:21:27,099 --> 00:21:28,722
- No, I don't see a problem.
- 198
- 00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:34,556
- So, um...
- 199
- 00:21:37,057 --> 00:21:38,681
- Where shall I go?
- 200
- 00:22:07,683 --> 00:22:09,556
- It's the fucking carburetor.
- 201
- 00:22:11,724 --> 00:22:13,681
- I just can't work it out,
- you imagine that?
- 202
- 00:22:16,266 --> 00:22:18,724
- - That's not very good.
- - Hmm?
- 203
- 00:22:18,724 --> 00:22:20,808
- - It's not very good.
- - No, it bloody isn't.
- 204
- 00:22:20,808 --> 00:22:22,847
- Ruins the whole idea
- of having a moped.
- 205
- 00:22:26,349 --> 00:22:28,806
- You should probably take off
- your knickers, yeah?
- 206
- 00:23:13,932 --> 00:23:17,430
- He shoved his cock
- inside me and humped me three times.
- 207
- 00:23:26,015 --> 00:23:29,264
- Then he turned
- me over like a sack of potatoes.
- 208
- 00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:39,930
- Then he humped me
- five times in the ass.
- 209
- 00:24:47,099 --> 00:24:49,680
- I never forgot those
- two humiliating numbers.
- 210
- 00:24:52,015 --> 00:24:53,557
- Three and five?
- 211
- 00:24:53,557 --> 00:24:55,138
- Those are Fibonacci numbers.
- 212
- 00:24:59,391 --> 00:25:00,723
- That may be.
- 213
- 00:25:00,723 --> 00:25:02,805
- In any case, it hurt like hell.
- 214
- 00:25:03,432 --> 00:25:06,723
- I swore I'd never sleep
- with anyone again.
- 215
- 00:25:06,723 --> 00:25:10,055
- But of course that only
- lasted a short while.
- 216
- 00:25:10,557 --> 00:25:13,515
- And now to get back
- to your fishing.
- 217
- 00:25:13,515 --> 00:25:16,515
- A couple of years later,
- 218
- 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,765
- I was at my friend B's,
- 219
- 00:25:18,765 --> 00:25:21,432
- and as always,
- she had a new idea,
- 220
- 00:25:21,432 --> 00:25:24,932
- financed by her younger
- brother's piggy banks
- 221
- 00:25:24,932 --> 00:25:26,972
- which she regularly emptied.
- 222
- 00:25:32,057 --> 00:25:34,389
- We put on clothes later known as
- 223
- 00:25:35,099 --> 00:25:37,389
- the "fuck me now" clothes.
- 224
- 00:25:38,431 --> 00:25:41,349
- The idea was a competition.
- 225
- 00:25:41,349 --> 00:25:44,015
- We were to go on a train trip.
- 226
- 00:25:44,015 --> 00:25:46,888
- B said there was
- no need for tickets.
- 227
- 00:25:47,848 --> 00:25:50,099
- The one who would fuck
- the most men
- 228
- 00:25:50,099 --> 00:25:52,431
- when we reached the destination
- 229
- 00:25:52,431 --> 00:25:54,471
- would win the chocolate sweets.
- 230
- 00:26:18,057 --> 00:26:19,513
- May I interrupt here?
- 231
- 00:26:20,932 --> 00:26:23,680
- What you were doing when you
- walked down that corridor.
- 232
- 00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:25,763
- You were reading the river.
- 233
- 00:26:39,224 --> 00:26:42,848
- Most of the large
- fish stay sheltered from the current
- 234
- 00:26:42,848 --> 00:26:45,222
- to save energy,
- and to hide from the prey.
- 235
- 00:26:46,265 --> 00:26:47,890
- Where the fish hides in the stream
- 236
- 00:26:47,890 --> 00:26:50,013
- entails a very
- complicated hierarchy.
- 237
- 00:26:51,974 --> 00:26:55,515
- The topography decides where
- the most attractive places are,
- 238
- 00:26:55,515 --> 00:26:57,805
- and the biggest fish
- choose the best positions.
- 239
- 00:27:06,265 --> 00:27:08,057
- What do I do?
- 240
- 00:27:08,057 --> 00:27:10,431
- Smile and make eye contact.
- 241
- 00:27:10,431 --> 00:27:12,471
- But what if it doesn't work?
- 242
- 00:27:12,974 --> 00:27:15,974
- If you have to talk, remember
- to ask lots of "wh" questions
- 243
- 00:27:15,974 --> 00:27:17,723
- if you want more than
- a yes or no answer.
- 244
- 00:27:17,723 --> 00:27:19,181
- Then it'll just happen on its own.
- 245
- 00:27:19,181 --> 00:27:22,640
- You just take them to the lavatory
- and you have sex with them.
- 246
- 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,974
- Oh. What if it's nasty?
- 247
- 00:27:25,974 --> 00:27:28,513
- Then you just think of the bag
- of chocolate sweeties.
- 248
- 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,846
- What... What time is it?
- 249
- 00:28:06,181 --> 00:28:07,179
- Ten.
- 250
- 00:28:22,223 --> 00:28:24,513
- Where do you come from?
- 251
- 00:28:25,932 --> 00:28:27,304
- From home.
- 252
- 00:28:34,807 --> 00:28:37,346
- Who knows where
- the lavatory is?
- 253
- 00:28:38,306 --> 00:28:40,890
- Well, if you take a right,
- you will arrive at a lavatory
- 254
- 00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:42,515
- at the end of the car.
- 255
- 00:28:42,515 --> 00:28:45,640
- At the same time it is
- so cleverly arranged
- 256
- 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:50,348
- that if you take a left turn you
- will also arrive at a lavatory
- 257
- 00:28:50,348 --> 00:28:53,096
- since at the end of the next car
- there is also one.
- 258
- 00:29:12,390 --> 00:29:13,929
- Let me show you
- where the lavatory is.
- 259
- 00:29:45,806 --> 00:29:48,221
- It turned out to be
- shockingly easy.
- 260
- 00:29:49,014 --> 00:29:52,723
- In no time,
- B was ahead five to three.
- 261
- 00:29:52,723 --> 00:29:54,431
- And it was exactly right.
- 262
- 00:29:54,431 --> 00:29:56,887
- Look them in the eye and smile.
- 263
- 00:29:58,056 --> 00:30:00,473
- But then suddenly, it stopped.
- 264
- 00:30:00,473 --> 00:30:03,762
- That's a very clear parallel
- to fishing in the stream.
- 265
- 00:30:04,598 --> 00:30:08,431
- As it happens, either none
- of the fish are feeding,
- 266
- 00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:10,139
- or they all feed
- at the same time.
- 267
- 00:30:10,139 --> 00:30:13,847
- They go into feeding frenzy.
- All bite.
- 268
- 00:30:13,847 --> 00:30:16,596
- And then just as suddenly
- as it started, it stops.
- 269
- 00:30:17,764 --> 00:30:21,931
- It's observable, but it's
- highly unpredictable.
- 270
- 00:30:21,931 --> 00:30:24,515
- And it has to do with,
- I don't know,
- 271
- 00:30:24,515 --> 00:30:27,390
- weather, barometric pressure,
- 272
- 00:30:27,390 --> 00:30:32,931
- maybe some fish psychology.
- If that's possible.
- 273
- 00:30:32,931 --> 00:30:36,973
- Anyway, the fish most readily bite
- at the beginning of a light rain,
- 274
- 00:30:36,973 --> 00:30:39,515
- and I think that's because
- they feel safe
- 275
- 00:30:39,515 --> 00:30:41,722
- when they swim in the stream.
- 276
- 00:30:41,722 --> 00:30:43,764
- Because they can't be seen
- from above.
- 277
- 00:30:43,764 --> 00:30:46,054
- The water's surface is disturbed.
- 278
- 00:30:48,431 --> 00:30:50,557
- But then it started again.
- 279
- 00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,181
- Although, a bit more slowly.
- 280
- 00:30:53,181 --> 00:30:55,931
- Yeah. I think I know how.
- 281
- 00:30:55,931 --> 00:30:59,265
- Because fly fishing can be
- done in several phases.
- 282
- 00:30:59,265 --> 00:31:03,639
- And if the fish stop biting,
- you move on to phase two.
- 283
- 00:31:03,639 --> 00:31:07,098
- And in phase two, you not
- only imitate an insect,
- 284
- 00:31:07,098 --> 00:31:09,554
- but an insect in trouble.
- 285
- 00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:12,556
- You pull... You pull the line.
- 286
- 00:31:12,556 --> 00:31:16,722
- You tug it irregularly,
- so the fish gets the impression
- 287
- 00:31:16,722 --> 00:31:19,762
- that it's dealing with
- an injured and easy prey.
- 288
- 00:31:20,597 --> 00:31:25,014
- And then helplessly, let the fly
- float down the river again.
- 289
- 00:31:25,014 --> 00:31:28,762
- Then half-heartedly,
- make a few jumps forward again.
- 290
- 00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:34,512
- It can be done... It can
- be done very elegantly.
- 291
- 00:31:48,306 --> 00:31:49,388
- Hey.
- 292
- 00:31:50,348 --> 00:31:51,554
- Sorry.
- 293
- 00:31:52,472 --> 00:31:54,595
- Nothing to feel sorry about.
- 294
- 00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:58,470
- I'm just not feeling
- very well today.
- 295
- 00:31:59,223 --> 00:32:01,054
- What could be so bad?
- 296
- 00:32:02,139 --> 00:32:04,137
- Oh, thank you.
- 297
- 00:32:05,973 --> 00:32:09,389
- I can't talk about it right now.
- 298
- 00:32:09,389 --> 00:32:11,887
- Can I just sit here
- for awhile?
- 299
- 00:32:13,014 --> 00:32:14,971
- Yeah. Sure.
- 300
- 00:32:20,597 --> 00:32:22,347
- Is it better now?
- 301
- 00:32:22,347 --> 00:32:24,012
- No.
- 302
- 00:32:35,681 --> 00:32:39,263
- - Are you all right?
- - It's Betty.
- 303
- 00:32:41,389 --> 00:32:43,472
- I was just told
- that she's very ill.
- 304
- 00:32:43,472 --> 00:32:46,387
- Is Betty a close family member?
- 305
- 00:32:49,098 --> 00:32:51,514
- You could say that.
- 306
- 00:32:51,514 --> 00:32:53,847
- She's my dwarf hamster.
- 307
- 00:32:53,847 --> 00:32:57,639
- Dwarf hamster?
- You can't be serious.
- 308
- 00:32:57,639 --> 00:32:59,847
- Well, what was I to do?
- 309
- 00:32:59,847 --> 00:33:03,639
- And then, I did have a dwarf
- hamster when I was young.
- 310
- 00:33:03,639 --> 00:33:05,806
- That you were very close to?
- 311
- 00:33:05,806 --> 00:33:08,514
- Not at all.
- A bloody nuisance.
- 312
- 00:33:08,514 --> 00:33:11,428
- Dwarf hamster?
- That's not so bad.
- 313
- 00:33:13,181 --> 00:33:15,389
- Would have been worse
- if it were a person.
- 314
- 00:33:15,389 --> 00:33:17,514
- Don't say that.
- 315
- 00:33:17,514 --> 00:33:20,764
- I'm extremely fond of my hamster.
- 316
- 00:33:20,764 --> 00:33:25,181
- Yes, I think that's a rather
- cynical thing to say about Betty.
- 317
- 00:33:25,181 --> 00:33:29,305
- Yes, I made the cage nice
- and cozy for her when...
- 318
- 00:33:29,305 --> 00:33:31,679
- - When I got her.
- - I bet she liked that.
- 319
- 00:33:33,222 --> 00:33:34,512
- Betty was excited.
- 320
- 00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:39,428
- One of nature's
- most meaningless creatures.
- 321
- 00:33:40,264 --> 00:33:42,764
- You're aware that
- the choice of a dwarf hamster
- 322
- 00:33:42,764 --> 00:33:46,264
- possibly suggests certain
- sexual connotations.
- 323
- 00:33:46,264 --> 00:33:47,681
- I can see that now
- 324
- 00:33:47,681 --> 00:33:50,595
- but it was really not
- a conscious choice.
- 325
- 00:33:51,764 --> 00:33:55,180
- How long does a dwarf hamster
- actually live?
- 326
- 00:33:55,180 --> 00:33:57,262
- Months, years?
- 327
- 00:33:58,138 --> 00:34:00,136
- Its life is much too short.
- 328
- 00:34:08,056 --> 00:34:11,012
- Would you show me
- where the lavatory is?
- 329
- 00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:15,136
- I... have to blow my nose.
- 330
- 00:34:34,347 --> 00:34:36,764
- Just the same,
- we were running out of subjects,
- 331
- 00:34:36,764 --> 00:34:39,472
- and B was ahead on points,
- 332
- 00:34:39,472 --> 00:34:43,095
- which led us to S's
- first-class compartment.
- 333
- 00:34:47,556 --> 00:34:49,011
- Tickets, please.
- 334
- 00:34:55,013 --> 00:34:57,345
- Thank you. Ladies?
- 335
- 00:34:59,013 --> 00:35:00,011
- Tickets.
- 336
- 00:35:10,597 --> 00:35:12,512
- Well...
- 337
- 00:35:14,264 --> 00:35:16,305
- I think I might have lost it.
- 338
- 00:35:16,305 --> 00:35:17,970
- Perhaps.
- 339
- 00:35:19,389 --> 00:35:21,387
- Drop yours as well, did you?
- 340
- 00:35:22,013 --> 00:35:25,345
- I haven't bought a ticket
- for your shitty train.
- 341
- 00:35:25,972 --> 00:35:28,097
- It's so bloody slow,
- we should have been
- 342
- 00:35:28,097 --> 00:35:29,972
- at the end of the track
- half an hour ago.
- 343
- 00:35:29,972 --> 00:35:32,845
- Regardless of delays, you still
- need a ticket, sweetheart.
- 344
- 00:35:33,639 --> 00:35:35,262
- Eight pounds each, please.
- 345
- 00:35:37,389 --> 00:35:39,556
- Ooh!
- 346
- 00:35:39,556 --> 00:35:42,681
- I accidentally tore it up.
- 347
- 00:35:42,681 --> 00:35:45,178
- Can't expect me to pay
- for scraps of paper.
- 348
- 00:35:45,722 --> 00:35:48,055
- - Have another one.
- - Oh, great idea.
- 349
- 00:35:48,055 --> 00:35:50,764
- Oh, that one's disappeared too.
- 350
- 00:35:50,764 --> 00:35:52,264
- I can always just get the police
- 351
- 00:35:52,264 --> 00:35:54,430
- to collect your payment
- at the next station...
- 352
- 00:35:54,430 --> 00:35:56,972
- Let's just take it easy here,
- shall we?
- 353
- 00:35:56,972 --> 00:35:59,846
- Apparently, the young ladies
- have left without any money.
- 354
- 00:35:59,846 --> 00:36:01,805
- If it's okay with you, I'd like
- to pay for their tickets.
- 355
- 00:36:01,805 --> 00:36:04,764
- No, sir, it's not.
- Leave your money where it is.
- 356
- 00:36:04,764 --> 00:36:06,556
- We'll let the police
- deal with these two.
- 357
- 00:36:06,556 --> 00:36:08,264
- We did have sort of an agreement
- 358
- 00:36:08,264 --> 00:36:10,262
- that I was to pay.
- I just forgot about it.
- 359
- 00:36:13,930 --> 00:36:17,805
- I see. Two first-class tickets...
- 360
- 00:36:17,805 --> 00:36:20,262
- for two first-class ladies.
- 361
- 00:36:21,930 --> 00:36:23,803
- Enjoy the rest of your journey.
- 362
- 00:36:26,055 --> 00:36:27,719
- Tickets, please.
- 363
- 00:36:36,222 --> 00:36:39,303
- Now that you've been
- so nice to us...
- 364
- 00:36:41,347 --> 00:36:43,930
- we'd like to be nice to you, too.
- 365
- 00:36:43,930 --> 00:36:46,387
- Oh, that's very kind of you,
- but there's no need.
- 366
- 00:36:51,305 --> 00:36:52,595
- I mean that.
- 367
- 00:36:56,888 --> 00:36:59,097
- You have to split them up
- into whether they have
- 368
- 00:36:59,097 --> 00:37:01,220
- a goal and a mission or not.
- 369
- 00:37:02,347 --> 00:37:03,636
- That one doesn't.
- 370
- 00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:06,262
- Well, I've already lost anyway.
- 371
- 00:37:08,264 --> 00:37:11,886
- I'm willing to give you
- five extra points...
- 372
- 00:37:14,472 --> 00:37:16,719
- if you can get that one in there.
- 373
- 00:37:19,138 --> 00:37:21,972
- I decided,
- perhaps a bit desperately,
- 374
- 00:37:21,972 --> 00:37:24,222
- that the only thing
- standing between me
- 375
- 00:37:24,222 --> 00:37:26,138
- and the bag of chocolate sweets,
- 376
- 00:37:26,138 --> 00:37:30,596
- was an unequivocal provocation
- of this man.
- 377
- 00:37:30,596 --> 00:37:34,013
- Excellent. An induced take.
- 378
- 00:37:34,013 --> 00:37:37,222
- When all other attempts fail,
- a dramatic provocation
- 379
- 00:37:37,222 --> 00:37:40,930
- can get an otherwise completely
- passive fish to bite.
- 380
- 00:37:40,930 --> 00:37:42,805
- A salmon or a trout,
- for example,
- 381
- 00:37:42,805 --> 00:37:45,389
- eats itself fat
- while in salt water,
- 382
- 00:37:45,389 --> 00:37:47,472
- and then basically
- has no need to eat
- 383
- 00:37:47,472 --> 00:37:51,347
- as it makes its way upstream
- to the spawning grounds.
- 384
- 00:37:51,347 --> 00:37:53,721
- They're not hungry but they
- will react instinctively
- 385
- 00:37:53,721 --> 00:37:55,470
- to the right provocation.
- 386
- 00:37:56,347 --> 00:37:58,347
- Which would not be a fly,
- but for instance,
- 387
- 00:37:58,347 --> 00:38:02,055
- a brightly colored wobbler,
- preferably red,
- 388
- 00:38:02,055 --> 00:38:04,972
- served immediately
- in front of the fish.
- 389
- 00:38:04,972 --> 00:38:08,471
- The very best is one we call
- the Finnish Weapon.
- 390
- 00:38:08,471 --> 00:38:10,345
- The so-called "Rappala."
- 391
- 00:38:13,264 --> 00:38:15,138
- I don't know if it's comparable,
- 392
- 00:38:15,138 --> 00:38:18,180
- but I decided in any case
- to find out
- 393
- 00:38:18,180 --> 00:38:20,264
- why he hadn't taken the bait,
- 394
- 00:38:20,264 --> 00:38:22,805
- and to use my
- psychological abilities,
- 395
- 00:38:22,805 --> 00:38:26,719
- which B, in my opinion,
- didn't possess to the same degree.
- 396
- 00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,095
- You've bought a gift.
- 397
- 00:38:31,721 --> 00:38:32,636
- Yes.
- 398
- 00:38:34,305 --> 00:38:35,844
- It's for my wife.
- 399
- 00:38:37,347 --> 00:38:41,345
- - No gifts for the children?
- - No.
- 400
- 00:38:42,555 --> 00:38:44,636
- We don't have any, actually.
- 401
- 00:38:45,513 --> 00:38:48,594
- Well, you seem rather well-to-do.
- 402
- 00:38:50,346 --> 00:38:55,222
- You travel first-class,
- and you bought us our tickets.
- 403
- 00:38:55,222 --> 00:38:59,264
- Why then not buy a decent gift
- for your wife?
- 404
- 00:38:59,264 --> 00:39:02,011
- I can see it comes
- from the station.
- 405
- 00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:10,097
- Of course I should have...
- 406
- 00:39:10,097 --> 00:39:12,304
- bought her something...
- 407
- 00:39:12,304 --> 00:39:14,011
- something better, but...
- 408
- 00:39:15,180 --> 00:39:18,220
- Let's just say I was suddenly
- in a hurry to get home.
- 409
- 00:39:19,222 --> 00:39:22,097
- Why would a man like you
- 410
- 00:39:22,097 --> 00:39:25,220
- with such an orderly life
- suddenly have to hurry?
- 411
- 00:39:28,972 --> 00:39:30,886
- It has to do with family.
- 412
- 00:39:33,513 --> 00:39:36,011
- My wife and I have decided
- that we...
- 413
- 00:39:38,972 --> 00:39:41,302
- we miss having children, after all.
- 414
- 00:39:41,972 --> 00:39:44,761
- And that if we are to have children,
- it has to be now.
- 415
- 00:39:47,555 --> 00:39:49,844
- So my wife called yesterday
- to say that she...
- 416
- 00:39:51,221 --> 00:39:52,678
- She started ovulating.
- 417
- 00:39:54,763 --> 00:39:58,886
- And all signs point to maximum
- fertility precisely tonight.
- 418
- 00:39:59,972 --> 00:40:01,053
- You see?
- 419
- 00:40:02,013 --> 00:40:04,721
- That's why I bought her
- a gift at the station.
- 420
- 00:40:04,721 --> 00:40:07,427
- I had to get a ticket home
- as quickly as possible.
- 421
- 00:40:09,221 --> 00:40:14,263
- - Well, I understand now.
- - What is it you understand?
- 422
- 00:40:14,263 --> 00:40:16,678
- Why you didn't have sex with us.
- 423
- 00:40:20,263 --> 00:40:23,055
- It wasn't because I didn't want to.
- 424
- 00:40:23,055 --> 00:40:27,055
- So you've been saving your sperm.
- 425
- 00:40:27,055 --> 00:40:31,930
- For weeks. I mean,
- you and your wife are...
- 426
- 00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:35,221
- seem to be at an age
- where every attempt
- 427
- 00:40:35,221 --> 00:40:39,469
- to become pregnant has to be
- taken very seriously.
- 428
- 00:40:41,429 --> 00:40:43,427
- Right now, my...
- 429
- 00:40:45,513 --> 00:40:49,553
- My sperm quality
- is at its peak, I'm told.
- 430
- 00:41:04,012 --> 00:41:05,594
- Please...
- 431
- 00:41:09,388 --> 00:41:11,886
- I'm begging you, please don't.
- 432
- 00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:13,678
- It's okay.
- 433
- 00:41:15,012 --> 00:41:16,261
- Please don't.
- 434
- 00:41:18,763 --> 00:41:21,135
- You've been as horny as hell.
- 435
- 00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:24,135
- But you wouldn't
- give up your load.
- 436
- 00:41:24,888 --> 00:41:26,135
- Please don't.
- 437
- 00:41:36,012 --> 00:41:37,927
- Oh, fuck.
- 438
- 00:42:17,971 --> 00:42:19,052
- Wow.
- 439
- 00:42:31,596 --> 00:42:35,471
- In your case, it wasn't
- the taste of a Madeleine cake,
- 440
- 00:42:35,471 --> 00:42:37,346
- moistened with lime blossom tea,
- 441
- 00:42:37,346 --> 00:42:40,344
- but the combination
- of chocolate and sperm.
- 442
- 00:42:41,388 --> 00:42:42,469
- What?
- 443
- 00:42:43,054 --> 00:42:48,094
- That was a piece of
- culturally blasphemic digression.
- 444
- 00:42:50,054 --> 00:42:51,971
- It's a story about memory.
- 445
- 00:42:51,971 --> 00:42:54,012
- How the combination
- of two flavors
- 446
- 00:42:54,012 --> 00:42:56,094
- set off a chain of memories.
- 447
- 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,929
- So oral sex became,
- in the eye of the angler,
- 448
- 00:43:02,929 --> 00:43:07,720
- your... your Finnish weapon.
- 449
- 00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:09,718
- Is that your only comment?
- 450
- 00:43:11,679 --> 00:43:13,760
- What else... What else
- do you want me to say?
- 451
- 00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:17,718
- That I behaved reprehensibly.
- 452
- 00:43:19,054 --> 00:43:21,263
- That already my actions exemplify
- 453
- 00:43:21,263 --> 00:43:24,261
- that I'm a...
- I'm a terrible human being.
- 454
- 00:43:25,304 --> 00:43:27,804
- That's not the way I see it.
- 455
- 00:43:27,804 --> 00:43:30,388
- On the contrary, I saw it as a...
- 456
- 00:43:30,388 --> 00:43:32,927
- A very pleasurable
- and humorous story.
- 457
- 00:43:33,762 --> 00:43:37,469
- Not at all sad, or...
- or weighed down by sin.
- 458
- 00:43:38,096 --> 00:43:39,637
- Like all that talk
- about Pandora's Box.
- 459
- 00:43:39,637 --> 00:43:43,679
- I've consciously used
- and hurt others...
- 460
- 00:43:43,679 --> 00:43:46,511
- for the sake of
- my own satisfaction.
- 461
- 00:43:47,346 --> 00:43:50,137
- And what I've told you so far
- only begins to suggest that.
- 462
- 00:43:50,137 --> 00:43:52,929
- But when you told the story,
- you were cheerful.
- 463
- 00:43:52,929 --> 00:43:54,177
- Full of humor.
- 464
- 00:43:54,762 --> 00:43:58,554
- It wasn't as if you embarked
- on some tragic tale.
- 465
- 00:43:58,554 --> 00:44:00,635
- Well, that's the way I am.
- 466
- 00:44:02,762 --> 00:44:06,304
- I've always loved
- the chills at the start of a fever,
- 467
- 00:44:06,304 --> 00:44:09,593
- knowing only too well that
- sickness will soon follow.
- 468
- 00:44:16,346 --> 00:44:18,429
- The only thing you've done,
- 469
- 00:44:18,429 --> 00:44:21,471
- except giving a few people
- an experience to remember,
- 470
- 00:44:21,471 --> 00:44:22,971
- is that you...
- 471
- 00:44:22,971 --> 00:44:25,427
- You relieved S from his load
- 472
- 00:44:26,096 --> 00:44:28,510
- in some... some youthful hubris.
- 473
- 00:44:30,804 --> 00:44:33,762
- I read somewhere that if you
- keep the load too long
- 474
- 00:44:33,762 --> 00:44:35,263
- the sperm will die.
- 475
- 00:44:35,263 --> 00:44:37,510
- Or worse, degenerate.
- 476
- 00:44:38,845 --> 00:44:41,263
- Maybe thanks to you,
- Mr. S and his wife
- 477
- 00:44:41,263 --> 00:44:43,718
- now have a healthy
- and well-functioning child.
- 478
- 00:44:45,595 --> 00:44:48,346
- I discovered my power as a woman
- 479
- 00:44:48,346 --> 00:44:50,802
- and used it without
- any concern for others.
- 480
- 00:44:51,804 --> 00:44:53,428
- That's completely unacceptable.
- 481
- 00:44:53,428 --> 00:44:55,720
- Oh, little darling...
- 482
- 00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,344
- Don't you "little darling" me.
- 483
- 00:45:00,346 --> 00:45:01,094
- No.
- 484
- 00:45:04,096 --> 00:45:06,010
- What I wanted to say was that
- 485
- 00:45:06,929 --> 00:45:08,760
- if you have wings, why not fly?
- 486
- 00:45:10,346 --> 00:45:11,552
- Allow me to digress.
- 487
- 00:45:12,179 --> 00:45:14,971
- I read a book about
- Sikorski and helicopters
- 488
- 00:45:14,971 --> 00:45:16,887
- where the author
- stressed the fact that
- 489
- 00:45:16,887 --> 00:45:20,345
- in order to take off, you tilt
- the helicopter forward.
- 490
- 00:45:20,345 --> 00:45:22,428
- It looks like you're trying
- to force the helicopter
- 491
- 00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:26,679
- down into the ground,
- but the effect is the contrary.
- 492
- 00:45:26,679 --> 00:45:28,720
- That the velocity
- takes the helicopter
- 493
- 00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:32,554
- and sweeps it up in the air.
- 494
- 00:45:32,554 --> 00:45:35,385
- The pilots say the helicopter
- wants to fly.
- 495
- 00:45:37,221 --> 00:45:39,387
- It's like when you're
- in a glider plane,
- 496
- 00:45:39,387 --> 00:45:42,387
- and suddenly you're lifted,
- 497
- 00:45:42,387 --> 00:45:46,221
- because of the spontaneous
- emission of thermals.
- 498
- 00:45:46,221 --> 00:45:51,512
- Thermals is when the sun
- is warming up the field,
- 499
- 00:45:51,512 --> 00:45:55,635
- and it emits a thermal bubble
- of warm air that rises.
- 500
- 00:45:56,512 --> 00:45:58,929
- These aircraft, they want to fly.
- 501
- 00:45:58,929 --> 00:46:01,177
- It's just a little
- unpredictable when.
- 502
- 00:46:03,387 --> 00:46:05,969
- You flew on that... on that train.
- 503
- 00:46:07,345 --> 00:46:09,593
- And that surprised you.
- 504
- 00:46:44,554 --> 00:46:46,176
- No more stories.
- 505
- 00:46:48,512 --> 00:46:50,052
- You need to sleep.
- 506
- 00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:52,093
- No, no.
- 507
- 00:46:52,762 --> 00:46:54,927
- This is beginning to amuse me.
- 508
- 00:47:01,637 --> 00:47:03,510
- I don't even know your name.
- 509
- 00:47:05,220 --> 00:47:06,510
- My name is Joe.
- 510
- 00:47:07,929 --> 00:47:09,468
- I'm Seligman.
- 511
- 00:47:11,136 --> 00:47:13,176
- What a fucking ridiculous name.
- 512
- 00:47:15,637 --> 00:47:17,093
- It's Jewish.
- 513
- 00:47:18,220 --> 00:47:19,887
- You said you weren't religious.
- 514
- 00:47:19,887 --> 00:47:22,345
- No, but my great-grandfather was.
- 515
- 00:47:22,345 --> 00:47:25,426
- And my parents gave me
- the name as a sort of...
- 516
- 00:47:26,470 --> 00:47:28,885
- sentimental association to Judaism.
- 517
- 00:47:32,804 --> 00:47:37,845
- Why let the sentimental part
- of religion, as you said,
- 518
- 00:47:37,845 --> 00:47:40,885
- outlive religion itself?
- 519
- 00:47:44,262 --> 00:47:45,677
- You have a point.
- 520
- 00:47:48,554 --> 00:47:51,593
- But we've always been anti-Zionists,
- 521
- 00:47:53,220 --> 00:47:55,468
- which is not the same
- as being anti-Semitic,
- 522
- 00:47:56,762 --> 00:47:59,385
- as certain political powers
- try to convince us.
- 523
- 00:48:00,387 --> 00:48:01,802
- Seligman...
- 524
- 00:48:02,845 --> 00:48:05,385
- means "the happy one."
- 525
- 00:48:08,679 --> 00:48:10,343
- So, are you happy then?
- 526
- 00:48:13,303 --> 00:48:15,051
- Well, I suppose I am.
- 527
- 00:48:17,011 --> 00:48:18,635
- In my own way.
- 528
- 00:48:19,303 --> 00:48:20,720
- Even if I'm the kind of person
- 529
- 00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:23,053
- who cut the nails
- of the right hand first.
- 530
- 00:48:23,053 --> 00:48:24,468
- What does that mean?
- 531
- 00:48:25,387 --> 00:48:27,679
- Well, I divide humanity
- into two groups:
- 532
- 00:48:27,679 --> 00:48:30,637
- the people who cut the nails
- on the left hand first,
- 533
- 00:48:30,637 --> 00:48:33,593
- and the people who cut the nails
- of the right hand first.
- 534
- 00:48:34,554 --> 00:48:36,554
- My theory is that the people
- who cut the nails
- 535
- 00:48:36,554 --> 00:48:39,886
- of the left hand first,
- they're more light-hearted.
- 536
- 00:48:39,886 --> 00:48:42,301
- They have a tendency
- to enjoy life more,
- 537
- 00:48:42,803 --> 00:48:45,801
- because they go straight
- for the easiest task, and...
- 538
- 00:48:46,512 --> 00:48:49,301
- save the difficulties for later.
- 539
- 00:48:55,095 --> 00:48:59,387
- - So what do you do?
- - Always the left hand first.
- 540
- 00:48:59,387 --> 00:49:01,218
- I don't think there's a choice.
- 541
- 00:49:01,970 --> 00:49:05,345
- Go for the pleasure first, always.
- 542
- 00:49:05,345 --> 00:49:08,595
- And then when you've
- done the left hand,
- 543
- 00:49:08,595 --> 00:49:10,301
- only the right hand remains.
- 544
- 00:49:11,011 --> 00:49:13,593
- That's the easiest one left.
- 545
- 00:49:20,803 --> 00:49:23,009
- I never thought of it like that.
- 546
- 00:49:25,844 --> 00:49:27,759
- Well, you're never too old.
- 547
- 00:49:28,595 --> 00:49:29,884
- Never too old to learn.
- 548
- 00:49:38,345 --> 00:49:40,678
- That's rugelach.
- 549
- 00:49:40,678 --> 00:49:43,178
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, it's a Jewish cake.
- 550
- 00:49:43,178 --> 00:49:46,761
- - There's that sentimentality again.
- - Oh, but it's more than rugelach.
- 551
- 00:49:46,761 --> 00:49:49,426
- It's rugelach served
- with a cake fork.
- 552
- 00:49:50,970 --> 00:49:54,136
- A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry,
- 553
- 00:49:54,136 --> 00:49:57,303
- which there is no excuse
- for eating with a cake fork.
- 554
- 00:49:57,303 --> 00:50:01,262
- To serve it with a cake fork
- is irritatingly unmanly,
- 555
- 00:50:01,262 --> 00:50:04,093
- not to say downright feminine.
- 556
- 00:50:06,262 --> 00:50:10,009
- However, it can bring us
- further with the story.
- 557
- 00:50:11,470 --> 00:50:16,512
- I also knew someone who
- consumed rugelach every day,
- 558
- 00:50:16,512 --> 00:50:19,260
- almost ritually,
- with a cake fork.
- 559
- 00:50:20,053 --> 00:50:22,759
- And although we'll be
- jumping a bit in time,
- 560
- 00:50:24,636 --> 00:50:26,801
- I have to tell you about Jerome.
- 561
- 00:50:27,512 --> 00:50:29,303
- As far as I can see,
- the next chapter
- 562
- 00:50:29,303 --> 00:50:31,970
- doesn't contain
- as direct an accusation
- 563
- 00:50:31,970 --> 00:50:35,594
- against my person
- as the rest of the story.
- 564
- 00:50:35,594 --> 00:50:38,553
- But as you've read
- a great deal, apparently,
- 565
- 00:50:38,553 --> 00:50:41,178
- you know that in a story
- things have to be good
- 566
- 00:50:41,178 --> 00:50:42,968
- before they can be bad.
- 567
- 00:50:47,136 --> 00:50:51,095
- The chapter will also make
- a sentimental soul like you happy
- 568
- 00:50:51,095 --> 00:50:55,676
- as it contains observations
- on the subject of love.
- 569
- 00:52:13,803 --> 00:52:15,717
- Can I tell you something?
- 570
- 00:52:17,803 --> 00:52:19,884
- Sure.
- 571
- 00:52:20,678 --> 00:52:23,011
- - Yeah.
- - Yeah, sure.
- 572
- 00:52:23,011 --> 00:52:24,886
- It might not be important to you...
- 573
- 00:52:24,886 --> 00:52:27,551
- But it is to me.
- 574
- 00:52:29,178 --> 00:52:31,259
- I've never had an orgasm before.
- 575
- 00:52:34,844 --> 00:52:36,592
- Really?
- 576
- 00:52:41,053 --> 00:52:42,592
- You're my first one.
- 577
- 00:52:45,386 --> 00:52:47,134
- You don't know how happy
- that makes me.
- 578
- 00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:52,926
- I love you.
- 579
- 00:52:58,219 --> 00:53:00,093
- You're my first.
- 580
- 00:53:04,511 --> 00:53:06,051
- Well, I have to admit,
- 581
- 00:53:06,761 --> 00:53:08,509
- quite a lot of girls say that.
- 582
- 00:53:11,511 --> 00:53:14,594
- The train trip
- had increased my appetite,
- 583
- 00:53:14,594 --> 00:53:17,135
- and soon B and I started a club
- 584
- 00:53:17,135 --> 00:53:19,842
- that we called
- "The Little Flock."
- 585
- 00:53:21,302 --> 00:53:24,803
- Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva.
- 586
- 00:53:24,803 --> 00:53:26,177
- B, of course, took the lead
- 587
- 00:53:26,177 --> 00:53:27,968
- as she was the most
- daring of us.
- 588
- 00:53:28,928 --> 00:53:31,719
- She was raised Catholic.
- I'm sure you're familiar
- 589
- 00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,636
- with the practices
- of the Catholic Church.
- 590
- 00:53:34,636 --> 00:53:38,928
- ...mea maxima vulva.
- Mea vulva, mea...
- 591
- 00:53:38,928 --> 00:53:40,553
- That's interesting.
- 592
- 00:53:40,553 --> 00:53:43,634
- Blasphemic, satanic.
- 593
- 00:53:45,135 --> 00:53:49,052
- The music. The interval
- between "B" and "F."
- 594
- 00:53:49,052 --> 00:53:51,801
- It's a tritone.
- The devilâs interval.
- 595
- 00:53:52,970 --> 00:53:55,342
- It was banned from music
- in the Middle Ages.
- 596
- 00:53:56,803 --> 00:53:59,511
- Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it.
- 597
- 00:53:59,511 --> 00:54:01,384
- She took piano lessons.
- 598
- 00:54:02,219 --> 00:54:03,678
- Vacuum Cleaner?
- 599
- 00:54:03,678 --> 00:54:07,509
- The Vacuum Cleaner possessed
- a special talent for floppy cocks.
- 600
- 00:54:08,844 --> 00:54:11,634
- She had some kind of vacuum
- in her cunt.
- 601
- 00:54:12,177 --> 00:54:14,511
- I was imagining something like that.
- 602
- 00:54:14,511 --> 00:54:17,427
- Fourteenth of the eighth.
- 603
- 00:54:17,427 --> 00:54:20,135
- I was at a place called The Donkey.
- 604
- 00:54:20,135 --> 00:54:23,344
- The boys were staring,
- University hangout.
- 605
- 00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:25,427
- I approached the stupidest
- one of the lot
- 606
- 00:54:25,427 --> 00:54:28,010
- and asked for directions
- to the underground.
- 607
- 00:54:28,010 --> 00:54:29,801
- He studied literature.
- 608
- 00:54:30,344 --> 00:54:34,010
- I told him I read a lot,
- and that I really admired people
- 609
- 00:54:34,010 --> 00:54:36,259
- that chose to study subjects
- in depth.
- 610
- 00:54:37,344 --> 00:54:39,636
- As I said, he was very stupid.
- 611
- 00:54:39,636 --> 00:54:41,427
- Told me all about Kierkegaard.
- 612
- 00:54:41,427 --> 00:54:43,261
- I nodded, smiled.
- 613
- 00:54:43,261 --> 00:54:44,885
- Then he asked
- if we could go elsewhere.
- 614
- 00:54:44,885 --> 00:54:48,467
- The idiot thought he'd pulled me
- after five minutes of his bullshit.
- 615
- 00:54:49,052 --> 00:54:51,092
- I told him I was on my period,
- 616
- 00:54:52,469 --> 00:54:55,133
- and I took out his cock
- and gave him a hand job.
- 617
- 00:54:57,302 --> 00:55:00,217
- Ugly, little shriveled cock,
- with a tight foreskin.
- 618
- 00:55:01,803 --> 00:55:03,761
- When I pulled it back,
- it sort of collapsed
- 619
- 00:55:03,761 --> 00:55:07,885
- but it worked in the end.
- University boys are disgusting.
- 620
- 00:55:07,885 --> 00:55:10,219
- And then I jacked him off
- until he shook
- 621
- 00:55:10,219 --> 00:55:13,259
- in that way they do, you know.
- Just before they come.
- 622
- 00:55:14,052 --> 00:55:16,219
- Then I let go of his cock and got up.
- 623
- 00:55:16,219 --> 00:55:19,969
- I left him standing up against the wall
- 624
- 00:55:19,969 --> 00:55:23,384
- with his pants round his ankles
- looking stunned.
- 625
- 00:55:25,344 --> 00:55:29,261
- Now, B's message wasn't
- exactly representational.
- 626
- 00:55:29,261 --> 00:55:31,551
- She just had to be the tough one.
- 627
- 00:55:33,469 --> 00:55:35,133
- It was directed at the men.
- 628
- 00:55:36,344 --> 00:55:40,092
- It was about fucking,
- and about having the right to be horny.
- 629
- 00:55:41,427 --> 00:55:44,509
- We masturbated together,
- that kind of thing.
- 630
- 00:55:46,094 --> 00:55:47,634
- But it was rebellious.
- 631
- 00:55:50,177 --> 00:55:51,718
- We weren't allowed
- to have boyfriends.
- 632
- 00:55:51,718 --> 00:55:54,175
- No fucking the same guy
- more than once.
- 633
- 00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:59,467
- You said you were rebellious.
- What did you rebel against?
- 634
- 00:55:59,969 --> 00:56:00,800
- Love.
- 635
- 00:56:02,843 --> 00:56:03,716
- Love?
- 636
- 00:56:04,386 --> 00:56:08,133
- We were committed to combat
- the love-fixated society.
- 637
- 00:56:27,553 --> 00:56:30,261
- I really believed
- in our Little Flock.
- 638
- 00:56:30,261 --> 00:56:32,758
- But of course,
- that was naive of me.
- 639
- 00:56:33,386 --> 00:56:36,344
- Over time, even the strongest
- 640
- 00:56:36,344 --> 00:56:38,885
- couldn't stay true to our manifest.
- 641
- 00:56:38,885 --> 00:56:42,969
- Third of the fifth.
- My third intercourse this week,
- 642
- 00:56:42,969 --> 00:56:44,758
- - again with Alex.
- - Third?
- 643
- 00:56:47,469 --> 00:56:50,677
- Haven't we stated that
- we fuck each guy once?
- 644
- 00:56:50,677 --> 00:56:53,259
- Yes, but he was rather sweet.
- 645
- 00:56:54,219 --> 00:56:55,259
- Sweet?
- 646
- 00:56:56,094 --> 00:56:59,300
- - Well, you know, sexy.
- - Well, then, say sexy.
- 647
- 00:57:01,427 --> 00:57:02,969
- He squeezed my earlobes.
- 648
- 00:57:02,969 --> 00:57:06,175
- Earlobes? Great.
- What else did he squeeze?
- 649
- 00:57:09,302 --> 00:57:12,633
- I don't think
- you can understand Alex.
- 650
- 00:57:13,261 --> 00:57:14,802
- I don't want to.
- 651
- 00:57:14,802 --> 00:57:17,302
- - Our relationship--
- - Relationship.
- 652
- 00:57:17,302 --> 00:57:18,466
- There you are.
- 653
- 00:57:19,635 --> 00:57:23,344
- The way you're describing it,
- which should be full of lust,
- 654
- 00:57:23,344 --> 00:57:26,427
- is just a nauseating analysis
- of his future abilities
- 655
- 00:57:26,427 --> 00:57:28,510
- as a father to your child.
- 656
- 00:57:28,510 --> 00:57:32,342
- You think you know
- everything about sex.
- 657
- 00:57:36,261 --> 00:57:40,217
- The secret ingredient
- to sex is love.
- 658
- 00:57:46,219 --> 00:57:50,841
- For me, love was just lust
- with jealousy added.
- 659
- 00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:53,841
- Everything else was total nonsense.
- 660
- 00:57:54,552 --> 00:57:58,802
- For every 100 crimes committed
- in the name of love,
- 661
- 00:57:58,802 --> 00:58:01,424
- only one is committed
- in the name of sex.
- 662
- 00:58:03,052 --> 00:58:04,593
- That's quite a statement.
- 663
- 00:58:04,593 --> 00:58:08,758
- Well, it all strengthened my
- wish for a serious education.
- 664
- 00:58:33,843 --> 00:58:35,800
- Glasgow.
- 665
- 00:58:39,426 --> 00:58:40,508
- Aberdeen.
- 666
- 00:58:42,468 --> 00:58:43,967
- Why are you smiling?
- 667
- 00:58:44,718 --> 00:58:47,052
- Well, I just pictured
- 668
- 00:58:47,052 --> 00:58:50,050
- how an education would be
- conveyed in your storytelling.
- 669
- 00:58:51,260 --> 00:58:53,133
- Well, that's nothing to smile about.
- 670
- 00:58:54,177 --> 00:58:55,633
- Oh, I understand that.
- 671
- 00:58:57,260 --> 00:58:59,383
- So what kind of education
- did you get?
- 672
- 00:59:00,260 --> 00:59:03,635
- I began studying medicine,
- like my father.
- 673
- 00:59:03,635 --> 00:59:07,760
- Today we are going to perform the
- procedure that's called an abortion.
- 674
- 00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:12,094
- We open up our cervical channel
- to enter the uterus,
- 675
- 00:59:12,094 --> 00:59:14,426
- and to get access to the fetus,
- 676
- 00:59:14,426 --> 00:59:17,718
- for which we use
- the so-called Hegal sticks.
- 677
- 00:59:17,718 --> 00:59:21,841
- We enter the vagina tract,
- and go into the cervical channel.
- 678
- 00:59:22,885 --> 00:59:24,843
- We start with a small sized stick
- 679
- 00:59:24,843 --> 00:59:28,134
- to cause a minimum of damage
- to the tissue.
- 680
- 00:59:28,134 --> 00:59:31,593
- And then we increase
- the size of the stick.
- 681
- 00:59:31,593 --> 00:59:34,718
- But it was harder and
- harder for me to concentrate,
- 682
- 00:59:34,718 --> 00:59:38,967
- so I studied less and less,
- till finally I dropped out.
- 683
- 00:59:41,176 --> 00:59:45,050
- My dad was very disappointed
- when I stopped.
- 684
- 00:59:45,969 --> 00:59:48,593
- But it was the only time
- I saw my mother really smile
- 685
- 00:59:48,593 --> 00:59:51,591
- when she said,
- "What did I tell you?"
- 686
- 00:59:54,843 --> 00:59:57,383
- So instead, I began
- to look for a job.
- 687
- 00:59:59,051 --> 01:00:01,843
- It turned out
- it was hard to get a job
- 688
- 01:00:01,843 --> 01:00:04,466
- that paid even halfway decently.
- 689
- 01:00:05,552 --> 01:00:08,885
- I didn't really know
- how to do anything.
- 690
- 01:00:08,885 --> 01:00:12,051
- So I didn't have high hopes
- when I applied for a position
- 691
- 01:00:12,051 --> 01:00:14,716
- as an assistant
- at a printing house.
- 692
- 01:00:15,843 --> 01:00:18,301
- So, could you tell me
- a little bit more
- 693
- 01:00:18,301 --> 01:00:21,468
- about your background?
- 694
- 01:00:21,468 --> 01:00:23,301
- Um...
- 695
- 01:00:23,301 --> 01:00:26,760
- - Education-wise.
- - Oh.
- 696
- 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:32,091
- Well, I finished high school,
- and decided to study medicine.
- 697
- 01:00:32,927 --> 01:00:35,093
- But I didn't finish.
- 698
- 01:00:35,093 --> 01:00:37,760
- I know it sounds a bit
- pointless coming here.
- 699
- 01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:40,343
- - Right.
- - I just really need a job.
- 700
- 01:00:40,343 --> 01:00:42,385
- And I've tried everywhere.
- 701
- 01:00:42,385 --> 01:00:46,007
- I don't usually give jobs to people
- just because they need one.
- 702
- 01:00:47,426 --> 01:00:52,051
- What about secretarial skills?
- Do you have any of those?
- 703
- 01:00:52,051 --> 01:00:54,633
- No, I didn't think
- you needed skills.
- 704
- 01:00:56,426 --> 01:00:59,260
- You didn't think you needed
- skills for this position
- 705
- 01:00:59,260 --> 01:01:01,633
- - as a secretary?
- - No.
- 706
- 01:01:02,134 --> 01:01:03,966
- Can you open an envelope?
- 707
- 01:01:04,593 --> 01:01:07,802
- Yes, I... Yes, I think
- I can open an envelope.
- 708
- 01:01:07,802 --> 01:01:09,800
- Well, I'm glad to hear that.
- 709
- 01:01:11,051 --> 01:01:15,591
- I shall discuss this conversation
- with Mr. Jerome, my boss.
- 710
- 01:01:18,260 --> 01:01:21,341
- Do you think
- there's a chance?
- 711
- 01:01:22,343 --> 01:01:25,299
- - I doubt it.
- - Oh.
- 712
- 01:01:45,051 --> 01:01:49,508
- Well, apparently,
- having absolutely no experience
- 713
- 01:01:50,301 --> 01:01:52,468
- is absolutely fine for this job.
- 714
- 01:01:52,468 --> 01:01:53,633
- You've got it.
- 715
- 01:01:56,468 --> 01:01:58,550
- Does that mean
- I should start tomorrow?
- 716
- 01:01:59,426 --> 01:02:01,007
- Yeah, I suppose it does.
- 717
- 01:02:03,301 --> 01:02:05,258
- - Good morning.
- - Right.
- 718
- 01:02:12,552 --> 01:02:14,799
- Yes?
- 719
- 01:02:18,093 --> 01:02:20,051
- - Good morning, sir.
- - Good morning.
- 720
- 01:02:20,051 --> 01:02:22,676
- I just wanted to introduce you
- to our new junior secretary.
- 721
- 01:02:22,676 --> 01:02:25,552
- Joe? I believe you wanted
- to explain her work duties.
- 722
- 01:02:25,552 --> 01:02:27,218
- - Hi.
- - This is the new junior secretary.
- 723
- 01:02:27,218 --> 01:02:28,842
- Liz, can I have another coffee?
- 724
- 01:02:28,842 --> 01:02:30,132
- - Yes, of course, sir.
- - Thank you.
- 725
- 01:02:33,510 --> 01:02:34,341
- Hi.
- 726
- 01:02:38,468 --> 01:02:41,466
- - Jerome.
- - Your first love.
- 727
- 01:02:47,468 --> 01:02:50,134
- I bet you didn't think I'd make
- something of myself, right?
- 728
- 01:02:50,134 --> 01:02:51,759
- And now, here I sit.
- 729
- 01:02:51,759 --> 01:02:53,966
- The director's chair
- of M & J Morris, Ltd.
- 730
- 01:02:58,301 --> 01:03:00,383
- - Yeah, it's quite surprising.
- - Surprising?
- 731
- 01:03:01,176 --> 01:03:02,715
- It's a sign from God.
- 732
- 01:03:07,634 --> 01:03:09,466
- You know, I've thought
- about you often since then.
- 733
- 01:03:11,260 --> 01:03:12,924
- Have you thought of me?
- 734
- 01:03:15,842 --> 01:03:18,091
- - Well...
- - What?
- 735
- 01:03:19,009 --> 01:03:21,634
- Usually, you know,
- my uncle sits here.
- 736
- 01:03:21,634 --> 01:03:23,260
- But he's developed a bit
- of a tummy problem,
- 737
- 01:03:23,260 --> 01:03:24,968
- so he's at the spa,
- taking long baths,
- 738
- 01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:28,385
- drinking lots of water, poor guy.
- And no one knows for how long.
- 739
- 01:03:28,385 --> 01:03:31,842
- So now I'm the "J"
- in M & J Morris, Ltd.
- 740
- 01:03:31,842 --> 01:03:33,634
- How about that?
- 741
- 01:03:33,634 --> 01:03:36,466
- We print cards and envelopes,
- nonsense like that.
- 742
- 01:03:37,301 --> 01:03:39,176
- It's a bloody complicated
- business, you know.
- 743
- 01:03:39,176 --> 01:03:40,590
- I don't understand a word of it.
- 744
- 01:03:41,842 --> 01:03:44,634
- Come, I'll show you around. Yes?
- 745
- 01:03:44,634 --> 01:03:46,301
- - Ladies?
- - Yes, sir.
- 746
- 01:03:46,301 --> 01:03:48,509
- Oh, look, there you are.
- Good job.
- 747
- 01:03:48,509 --> 01:03:50,884
- Every time you do a good job,
- I say, "Good job, Liz."
- 748
- 01:03:50,884 --> 01:03:52,717
- - Thank you, sir.
- - What's her name?
- 749
- 01:03:52,717 --> 01:03:54,551
- - Liz.
- - Good job, Liz.
- 750
- 01:03:54,551 --> 01:03:56,590
- - Good job, Liz.
- - Good job, Liz.
- 751
- 01:04:15,425 --> 01:04:17,134
- It stopped.
- 752
- 01:04:17,134 --> 01:04:18,549
- Fuck.
- 753
- 01:04:22,093 --> 01:04:23,132
- Yes.
- 754
- 01:04:25,093 --> 01:04:27,549
- - Well, isn't there an alarm?
- - Which?
- 755
- 01:04:28,218 --> 01:04:30,634
- - Isn't there...
- - Alarm, right, yes.
- 756
- 01:04:30,634 --> 01:04:33,382
- Good thinking.
- 757
- 01:04:36,842 --> 01:04:37,924
- Imagine...
- 758
- 01:04:38,842 --> 01:04:41,258
- you look just as great
- all these years later.
- 759
- 01:04:41,801 --> 01:04:42,924
- Oh, no.
- 760
- 01:04:47,134 --> 01:04:49,590
- - No.
- - No?
- 761
- 01:04:51,759 --> 01:04:53,384
- No, Jerome, this won't work.
- 762
- 01:04:53,384 --> 01:04:55,966
- - Which won't work?
- - This.
- 763
- 01:04:58,676 --> 01:04:59,715
- Why not?
- 764
- 01:05:00,884 --> 01:05:02,257
- You're not really my type.
- 765
- 01:05:04,926 --> 01:05:06,091
- That's how it's gonna be?
- 766
- 01:05:06,884 --> 01:05:08,840
- - Yes.
- - All right.
- 767
- 01:05:15,467 --> 01:05:16,715
- Fuck's sake.
- 768
- 01:05:26,551 --> 01:05:27,507
- Okay.
- 769
- 01:05:37,467 --> 01:05:39,134
- Um...
- 770
- 01:05:39,134 --> 01:05:40,382
- Give me your hand.
- 771
- 01:05:41,467 --> 01:05:43,507
- We'll do fireman's grip.
- 772
- 01:05:45,551 --> 01:05:47,049
- - You okay?
- - Yeah.
- 773
- 01:05:50,384 --> 01:05:51,840
- Why didn't you
- have sex with him?
- 774
- 01:05:54,009 --> 01:05:56,298
- You must have had sex
- in a lift before.
- 775
- 01:05:58,509 --> 01:06:02,467
- I'm not quite sure.
- I've shagged lots of idiots.
- 776
- 01:06:02,467 --> 01:06:05,090
- Including worse idiots than him.
- 777
- 01:06:07,259 --> 01:06:08,842
- Of course, I...
- 778
- 01:06:08,842 --> 01:06:11,840
- I regretted that it had
- been him back then.
- 779
- 01:06:12,884 --> 01:06:15,509
- But that's just sentimental drivel.
- 780
- 01:06:15,509 --> 01:06:16,799
- And I'm not sentimental.
- 781
- 01:06:18,092 --> 01:06:20,050
- I suppose he fired you then.
- 782
- 01:06:20,050 --> 01:06:23,465
- No. If he had fired me,
- then he would have lost.
- 783
- 01:06:26,801 --> 01:06:28,551
- As I didn't recall anyone
- 784
- 01:06:28,551 --> 01:06:30,425
- having defined my work duties,
- 785
- 01:06:30,425 --> 01:06:34,173
- I decided to clean up in order
- to smooth the waters.
- 786
- 01:06:42,050 --> 01:06:43,425
- Good morning, sir.
- 787
- 01:06:43,425 --> 01:06:45,423
- - Any calls?
- - No, sir.
- 788
- 01:06:51,842 --> 01:06:55,715
- - What have you done?
- - Oh. I cleaned up.
- 789
- 01:06:56,259 --> 01:06:57,965
- You cleaned up.
- 790
- 01:06:59,050 --> 01:07:00,634
- - It was quite messy, and--
- - Liz?
- 791
- 01:07:00,634 --> 01:07:03,465
- - Yes, sir?
- - She cleaned up.
- 792
- 01:07:04,092 --> 01:07:06,384
- I know, I... I didn't know, sir.
- 793
- 01:07:06,384 --> 01:07:08,507
- - I was away from my desk.
- - Are you completely mad?
- 794
- 01:07:15,384 --> 01:07:17,423
- What is the tea
- and pastry doing here?
- 795
- 01:07:18,092 --> 01:07:19,384
- I thought that's
- what you wanted for--
- 796
- 01:07:19,384 --> 01:07:22,676
- You thought?
- You're not supposed to think.
- 797
- 01:07:22,676 --> 01:07:25,092
- I don't pay you to think, do I?
- This is a do-over.
- 798
- 01:07:25,092 --> 01:07:26,634
- - A do-over...
- - Right.
- 799
- 01:07:26,634 --> 01:07:29,382
- Pick it up. Take it outside.
- And do it again.
- 800
- 01:07:41,759 --> 01:07:44,006
- One moment.
- 801
- 01:07:52,384 --> 01:07:53,674
- Come in.
- 802
- 01:07:56,883 --> 01:07:59,175
- Would now be a good time
- for some tea and cake?
- 803
- 01:07:59,175 --> 01:08:00,465
- Sure, why not?
- 804
- 01:08:03,384 --> 01:08:05,133
- Where the fuck's my cake fork?
- 805
- 01:08:05,133 --> 01:08:07,050
- - Cake fork?
- - Right.
- 806
- 01:08:07,050 --> 01:08:11,590
- Well, I would have got you one,
- but it just... feels inappropriate.
- 807
- 01:08:29,175 --> 01:08:31,133
- Unmanly.
- 808
- 01:08:31,133 --> 01:08:32,592
- Feminine.
- 809
- 01:08:32,592 --> 01:08:34,551
- Well, on the other hand,
- 810
- 01:08:34,551 --> 01:08:38,632
- you must say that a cake fork
- is a rather practical tool.
- 811
- 01:08:40,551 --> 01:08:43,839
- It's like a cross between
- a knife and a fork.
- 812
- 01:08:44,467 --> 01:08:46,634
- The point is that you're
- supposed to be able
- 813
- 01:08:46,634 --> 01:08:48,634
- to hold the cake dish
- with one hand
- 814
- 01:08:48,634 --> 01:08:50,298
- and then cut it with the other.
- 815
- 01:08:51,008 --> 01:08:54,509
- And then eat it with the fork.
- 816
- 01:08:54,509 --> 01:08:57,382
- It's not feminine,
- it's at least bourgeois.
- 817
- 01:08:58,300 --> 01:09:00,758
- It's said that the Bolsheviks,
- 818
- 01:09:00,758 --> 01:09:02,925
- during their rampage
- through Russia,
- 819
- 01:09:02,925 --> 01:09:04,633
- to separate the men from the boys,
- 820
- 01:09:04,633 --> 01:09:07,551
- or rather the bourgeoisie
- from the proletariat,
- 821
- 01:09:07,551 --> 01:09:10,716
- they brought a boy,
- and before burning down a house
- 822
- 01:09:10,716 --> 01:09:14,257
- they sent him in to make sure
- they had cake forks.
- 823
- 01:09:19,008 --> 01:09:21,923
- That's not true.
- 824
- 01:09:24,259 --> 01:09:26,467
- I don't have the story first-hand.
- 825
- 01:09:26,467 --> 01:09:27,756
- Hello.
- 826
- 01:09:28,675 --> 01:09:30,550
- - Hi.
- - Hi.
- 827
- 01:09:30,550 --> 01:09:33,050
- I was wondering
- if you could help me.
- 828
- 01:09:33,050 --> 01:09:36,675
- It's suddenly gone very dirty.
- See, yes?
- 829
- 01:09:36,675 --> 01:09:40,217
- See, you've got your dirty
- fingers on there.
- 830
- 01:09:40,217 --> 01:09:42,300
- Maybe we should
- wash your hands.
- 831
- 01:09:42,300 --> 01:09:43,756
- Yeah, better.
- 832
- 01:09:46,259 --> 01:09:47,967
- Mm-hmm.
- 833
- 01:09:47,967 --> 01:09:50,716
- - You must be very talented.
- - Yeah, sure.
- 834
- 01:09:50,716 --> 01:09:51,465
- Hmm.
- 835
- 01:09:52,217 --> 01:09:55,090
- You see, here's got a stain.
- 836
- 01:10:07,175 --> 01:10:08,967
- If you'd asked
- Jerome, he would have said
- 837
- 01:10:08,967 --> 01:10:11,090
- that I was the one
- who'd declared war.
- 838
- 01:10:13,633 --> 01:10:17,839
- Many times he'd take me into town
- just so I could hold his coat.
- 839
- 01:10:18,716 --> 01:10:20,883
- - There.
- - Where?
- 840
- 01:10:20,883 --> 01:10:22,839
- There, behind the green car.
- 841
- 01:10:25,384 --> 01:10:27,756
- - It's not big enough.
- - It is, there's plenty of space.
- 842
- 01:10:31,092 --> 01:10:33,175
- I saw it, it's not enough space.
- 843
- 01:10:33,175 --> 01:10:35,422
- I'm telling you,
- there's plenty of space.
- 844
- 01:10:48,175 --> 01:10:51,548
- No. It's too small a space
- for such a long car.
- 845
- 01:10:54,424 --> 01:10:56,006
- Can I try?
- 846
- 01:10:57,633 --> 01:11:01,050
- - Can you try?
- - I'm a wizard at this.
- 847
- 01:11:01,050 --> 01:11:02,591
- I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe.
- 848
- 01:11:02,591 --> 01:11:05,298
- You just saw me do it.
- It's not enough space, okay?
- 849
- 01:11:06,175 --> 01:11:09,090
- - Can I try?
- - Fuck. You want to try?
- 850
- 01:11:11,675 --> 01:11:12,798
- Why not?
- 851
- 01:11:27,716 --> 01:11:29,090
- Stupid.
- 852
- 01:12:08,050 --> 01:12:11,341
- It was about
- this time that a dramatic change
- 853
- 01:12:11,341 --> 01:12:13,256
- happened inside of me.
- 854
- 01:12:14,675 --> 01:12:19,214
- I could suddenly see a kind
- of order in the mess.
- 855
- 01:12:30,633 --> 01:12:32,839
- Are you just standing here looking?
- 856
- 01:12:35,633 --> 01:12:38,339
- Yeah. I've begun to like his mess.
- 857
- 01:12:39,132 --> 01:12:40,756
- How do you mean?
- 858
- 01:12:42,174 --> 01:12:45,130
- Well, these are all things
- placed by Jerome.
- 859
- 01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,673
- I mean, by Jerome's hands.
- 860
- 01:12:48,550 --> 01:12:52,130
- Sounds to me like you would like
- to be handled by Mr. Jerome.
- 861
- 01:12:54,008 --> 01:12:56,256
- Darling, you're in love with him.
- 862
- 01:13:01,216 --> 01:13:03,589
- It was all very, very wrong.
- 863
- 01:13:05,007 --> 01:13:07,589
- I wanted to be one of Jerome's things.
- 864
- 01:13:08,424 --> 01:13:13,047
- I wanted to be picked up
- and put down, again and again.
- 865
- 01:13:14,424 --> 01:13:17,007
- I wanted to be
- treated by his hands
- 866
- 01:13:17,007 --> 01:13:20,132
- according to some
- sophisticated principle
- 867
- 01:13:20,132 --> 01:13:22,214
- that I didn't understand.
- 868
- 01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:24,591
- His strong hands?
- 869
- 01:13:24,591 --> 01:13:28,550
- Yes, but now it was no longer
- just about his hands.
- 870
- 01:13:28,550 --> 01:13:31,798
- It's as if everything
- about him was different,
- 871
- 01:13:32,633 --> 01:13:35,841
- which, of course, it wasn't
- and I knew that in my head.
- 872
- 01:13:35,841 --> 01:13:39,548
- And I scolded myself
- for seeing him in this new light.
- 873
- 01:13:40,508 --> 01:13:44,548
- - Love is blind.
- - No, no, no, it's worse.
- 874
- 01:13:45,591 --> 01:13:47,381
- Love distorts things.
- 875
- 01:13:48,341 --> 01:13:51,258
- Or even worse...
- love is something
- 876
- 01:13:51,258 --> 01:13:52,922
- you've never asked for.
- 877
- 01:13:54,383 --> 01:13:58,716
- The erotic was something I asked for,
- or even demanded of men.
- 878
- 01:13:58,716 --> 01:14:01,464
- But this idiotic love...
- 879
- 01:14:03,299 --> 01:14:05,339
- I felt humiliated by it,
- 880
- 01:14:06,007 --> 01:14:08,714
- and all the dishonesty that follows.
- 881
- 01:14:11,258 --> 01:14:13,548
- The erotic is about saying yes.
- 882
- 01:14:15,299 --> 01:14:18,466
- Love appeals to
- the lowest instincts,
- 883
- 01:14:18,466 --> 01:14:20,381
- wrapped up in lies.
- 884
- 01:14:21,132 --> 01:14:24,964
- How do you say "yes"
- when you mean "no," and vice versa.
- 885
- 01:14:28,758 --> 01:14:31,089
- I'm ashamed of what I became.
- 886
- 01:14:32,383 --> 01:14:34,089
- But it was beyond my control.
- 887
- 01:14:36,216 --> 01:14:40,464
- - You know what you're doing now?
- - No, what am I doing?
- 888
- 01:14:41,007 --> 01:14:43,256
- You're defending your personality.
- 889
- 01:14:44,049 --> 01:14:46,381
- I thought the point was to reveal it.
- 890
- 01:14:58,508 --> 01:15:02,673
- - Thank you.
- - You're welcome.
- 891
- 01:15:04,924 --> 01:15:06,548
- Thank you meaning, "That's all."
- 892
- 01:15:10,299 --> 01:15:13,797
- You can go now.
- Goodbye, Joe.
- 893
- 01:15:27,924 --> 01:15:31,508
- At this time,
- I took up walking again.
- 894
- 01:15:31,508 --> 01:15:33,091
- You walked in the forest?
- 895
- 01:15:33,091 --> 01:15:35,548
- Yes, I walked in the forest.
- 896
- 01:15:40,924 --> 01:15:43,506
- The forest of my childhood.
- 897
- 01:15:44,715 --> 01:15:47,755
- I took the same walk
- again and again.
- 898
- 01:15:48,341 --> 01:15:51,383
- Right turn after the gatehouse,
- 899
- 01:15:51,383 --> 01:15:54,258
- and right again by the ash tree,
- 900
- 01:15:54,258 --> 01:15:56,964
- which has the most beautiful leaves
- in the forest,
- 901
- 01:15:58,632 --> 01:16:02,341
- and further on,
- past a lady with her poodle,
- 902
- 01:16:02,341 --> 01:16:05,089
- and the old man on the bench.
- 903
- 01:16:12,424 --> 01:16:15,674
- I couldn't free myself
- of the image of Jerome
- 904
- 01:16:15,674 --> 01:16:17,630
- and his careless elegance.
- 905
- 01:16:23,049 --> 01:16:27,547
- And during this time,
- when I was with other men,
- 906
- 01:16:28,341 --> 01:16:31,713
- I forbade them to touch
- my body with their hands.
- 907
- 01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:39,005
- And soon, I stopped
- having sex altogether.
- 908
- 01:16:41,091 --> 01:16:43,421
- I tried to meet him all the time.
- 909
- 01:16:43,966 --> 01:16:46,172
- I found out where he lived,
- 910
- 01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:49,547
- but of course,
- never dared ring his doorbell.
- 911
- 01:16:53,174 --> 01:16:56,507
- I even started humiliating
- myself on purpose
- 912
- 01:16:56,507 --> 01:16:58,630
- in order for him to notice me.
- 913
- 01:17:18,882 --> 01:17:20,755
- You broke a taillight.
- 914
- 01:17:22,340 --> 01:17:23,421
- I did.
- 915
- 01:17:24,799 --> 01:17:27,005
- I thought you were such
- a wizard at parking.
- 916
- 01:17:28,091 --> 01:17:29,256
- So did I.
- 917
- 01:17:30,258 --> 01:17:32,214
- It'll be deducted from your salary.
- 918
- 01:17:35,674 --> 01:17:37,172
- It's a long car.
- 919
- 01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:43,715
- I worked for
- a long time on a letter
- 920
- 01:17:43,715 --> 01:17:46,674
- in which I told him about
- my feelings for him,
- 921
- 01:17:46,674 --> 01:17:49,463
- but couldn't bring myself
- to hand it over.
- 922
- 01:17:52,216 --> 01:17:53,964
- - Bye.
- - Bye. Bye.
- 923
- 01:17:54,632 --> 01:17:56,216
- A month would pass
- 924
- 01:17:56,216 --> 01:18:00,089
- before I had built up
- enough courage to deliver it.
- 925
- 01:18:25,173 --> 01:18:27,421
- Well, I've written him
- a letter after all.
- 926
- 01:18:29,340 --> 01:18:32,630
- Do you think that the letter
- is a bad idea?
- 927
- 01:18:35,382 --> 01:18:38,173
- No, I think it's
- the right thing to do.
- 928
- 01:18:38,173 --> 01:18:43,549
- I'm just... I think maybe
- you should wait until Friday.
- 929
- 01:18:43,549 --> 01:18:44,630
- Why?
- 930
- 01:18:45,590 --> 01:18:47,672
- He's always in a good mood
- on Fridays.
- 931
- 01:18:49,049 --> 01:18:50,213
- Okay.
- 932
- 01:19:09,799 --> 01:19:13,924
- I'm sorry, isn't this...
- Jerome's office?
- 933
- 01:19:13,924 --> 01:19:17,757
- I'm happy to say that this
- never has been
- 934
- 01:19:17,757 --> 01:19:20,046
- and never will be Jerome's office.
- 935
- 01:19:20,549 --> 01:19:24,630
- My nephew has been standing in for me
- while I've been unwell.
- 936
- 01:19:25,131 --> 01:19:28,088
- What's that? A letter for him?
- 937
- 01:19:29,298 --> 01:19:30,257
- Yes.
- 938
- 01:19:30,257 --> 01:19:33,380
- Give it to me
- and I'll make sure he gets it.
- 939
- 01:19:38,006 --> 01:19:41,922
- Can't promise when that might be
- because he's long gone.
- 940
- 01:19:43,173 --> 01:19:46,674
- How the young finance
- their irrepressible desire
- 941
- 01:19:46,674 --> 01:19:48,421
- for travel is a mystery to me.
- 942
- 01:19:49,465 --> 01:19:52,505
- - So he's gone?
- - Deserted us, yes.
- 943
- 01:19:53,965 --> 01:19:56,340
- Raving about a trip around the world,
- 944
- 01:19:56,340 --> 01:19:58,713
- - and married, and all.
- - Married?
- 945
- 01:19:59,340 --> 01:20:00,547
- Marriage, yes.
- 946
- 01:20:01,632 --> 01:20:04,004
- Flown the coop with my secretary.
- 947
- 01:20:04,965 --> 01:20:05,838
- Liz.
- 948
- 01:20:14,006 --> 01:20:15,588
- And your job?
- 949
- 01:20:16,090 --> 01:20:18,423
- Well, it turned out
- that Jerome's uncle
- 950
- 01:20:18,423 --> 01:20:22,090
- demanded a bit more knowledge
- about the business, so...
- 951
- 01:20:22,090 --> 01:20:22,921
- I see.
- 952
- 01:20:24,257 --> 01:20:26,799
- Well, as for evidence of you
- being a bad human being,
- 953
- 01:20:26,799 --> 01:20:28,965
- there wasn't much to go on
- in this chapter.
- 954
- 01:20:28,965 --> 01:20:33,088
- Yes, as I said.
- At least superficially.
- 955
- 01:20:34,507 --> 01:20:37,632
- - I suppose you were jealous.
- - No, I wasn't jealous.
- 956
- 01:20:37,632 --> 01:20:38,963
- I didn't know that feeling.
- 957
- 01:20:40,465 --> 01:20:43,129
- It's almost superhuman
- not to feel jealousy.
- 958
- 01:20:44,590 --> 01:20:46,505
- Well, that was the end of love, then?
- 959
- 01:20:48,507 --> 01:20:51,255
- Well, maybe not quite as simple.
- 960
- 01:20:52,839 --> 01:20:58,006
- But more about that later,
- as they say in the novels.
- 961
- 01:20:58,006 --> 01:21:00,672
- And Jerome just disappeared?
- 962
- 01:21:01,965 --> 01:21:07,048
- Yes. Though I'd tried to keep him
- in my own way, mentally,
- 963
- 01:21:07,048 --> 01:21:10,713
- as I masturbated on the train
- amongst other people.
- 964
- 01:21:13,048 --> 01:21:15,298
- You masturbated on the train,
- on the seat?
- 965
- 01:21:15,298 --> 01:21:18,382
- - Yes, of course.
- - And that's possible?
- 966
- 01:21:18,382 --> 01:21:22,465
- Easily.
- You just put your coat in your lap.
- 967
- 01:21:22,465 --> 01:21:26,839
- It can be done silently
- without expression.
- 968
- 01:21:26,839 --> 01:21:28,881
- The only thing
- that could give me away
- 969
- 01:21:28,881 --> 01:21:32,796
- and mostly to women,
- was my open mouth when I came.
- 970
- 01:21:47,131 --> 01:21:49,839
- I did a jigsaw puzzle.
- 971
- 01:21:49,839 --> 01:21:51,879
- Ajigsaw puzzle?
- 972
- 01:21:56,006 --> 01:21:59,173
- I found details
- in the other passengers
- 973
- 01:21:59,173 --> 01:22:01,338
- that reminded me of Jerome.
- 974
- 01:22:56,048 --> 01:22:57,839
- But in the long run,
- 975
- 01:22:57,839 --> 01:23:00,173
- I couldn't hold onto
- the details of him,
- 976
- 01:23:00,173 --> 01:23:02,587
- no matter how hard I tried.
- 977
- 01:23:03,464 --> 01:23:05,257
- So, you could say that in a way,
- 978
- 01:23:05,257 --> 01:23:08,923
- Jerome followed you
- as a kind of silhouette.
- 979
- 01:23:08,923 --> 01:23:12,631
- Yes, but gradually disappearing
- as a sexual being.
- 980
- 01:23:12,631 --> 01:23:17,839
- Maybe that's how it is with memory.
- You remember silhouettes.
- 981
- 01:23:17,839 --> 01:23:19,714
- The essentials.
- 982
- 01:23:19,714 --> 01:23:22,629
- But that's not necessarily
- a bad thing.
- 983
- 01:23:26,798 --> 01:23:29,048
- Of course
- there's silhouettes in the winter.
- 984
- 01:23:29,048 --> 01:23:31,340
- The trees are difficult
- to tell apart.
- 985
- 01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,923
- These buds...
- 986
- 01:23:32,923 --> 01:23:34,839
- My father
- wrestled courageously
- 987
- 01:23:34,839 --> 01:23:37,837
- with his flora
- and tree type guides.
- 988
- 01:23:39,548 --> 01:23:40,921
- It's actually...
- 989
- 01:23:43,131 --> 01:23:46,796
- the souls of the trees
- we see in the winter.
- 990
- 01:23:47,422 --> 01:23:49,215
- In summer, everything's
- green and idyllic,
- 991
- 01:23:49,215 --> 01:23:54,048
- but in the winter, the branches
- and the trunks, they all stand out.
- 992
- 01:23:54,048 --> 01:23:56,295
- Look at how crooked they all are.
- 993
- 01:23:58,215 --> 01:24:01,295
- The branches have to carry
- all of the leaves into the sunlight.
- 994
- 01:24:02,798 --> 01:24:05,754
- It's one long struggle for survival.
- 995
- 01:24:08,965 --> 01:24:12,006
- My father surprised
- me by calling the naked trunks
- 996
- 01:24:12,006 --> 01:24:14,213
- the souls of the trees.
- 997
- 01:24:14,965 --> 01:24:17,756
- A poetic thought
- that was rare for him,
- 998
- 01:24:17,756 --> 01:24:21,420
- as by his own account, he preferred
- the empirical sciences.
- 999
- 01:24:25,173 --> 01:24:26,712
- And after Jerome?
- 1000
- 01:24:28,048 --> 01:24:30,756
- I reacted, um...
- 1001
- 01:24:30,756 --> 01:24:34,129
- Well, let's just say... aggressively.
- 1002
- 01:24:35,173 --> 01:24:39,712
- - How?
- - By intensifying my hunt for men.
- 1003
- 01:24:42,506 --> 01:24:44,631
- You know
- these supermarket doors
- 1004
- 01:24:44,631 --> 01:24:47,546
- that open and close by way
- of some kind of sensor?
- 1005
- 01:24:48,381 --> 01:24:51,214
- Now compare these doors
- to my cunt,
- 1006
- 01:24:51,214 --> 01:24:54,504
- and add an extraordinarily
- sensitive sensor.
- 1007
- 01:24:56,631 --> 01:25:00,422
- My sensitive door opening
- gave me an opportunity
- 1008
- 01:25:00,422 --> 01:25:05,212
- to develop my morphological studies
- from knees to genitals.
- 1009
- 01:25:10,256 --> 01:25:15,256
- I embarked on a trip through, what,
- in the lingo of children's books,
- 1010
- 01:25:15,256 --> 01:25:19,087
- one might call, "The Country
- of the Big, Bad Cocks."
- 1011
- 01:25:21,673 --> 01:25:25,629
- "The Country of the Small
- Yellow Cocks," and so on.
- 1012
- 01:25:26,339 --> 01:25:28,589
- And most of all, I battled my way
- 1013
- 01:25:28,589 --> 01:25:31,420
- through an untold number
- of circumcised cocks.
- 1014
- 01:25:33,256 --> 01:25:36,172
- By the way, did you know
- that if you combine
- 1015
- 01:25:36,172 --> 01:25:38,923
- all the foreskin cut off
- through history,
- 1016
- 01:25:38,923 --> 01:25:41,879
- it would reach to Mars
- and back again?
- 1017
- 01:26:01,047 --> 01:26:02,504
- "Mrs. H."
- 1018
- 01:26:18,047 --> 01:26:21,130
- By now, I had
- built up a sizable circle of men,
- 1019
- 01:26:21,130 --> 01:26:24,922
- and was starting to have trouble
- remembering who was who.
- 1020
- 01:26:24,922 --> 01:26:26,964
- Hello, sweetheart.
- Want to meet?
- 1021
- 01:26:26,964 --> 01:26:28,673
- It's Fisher.
- 1022
- 01:26:28,673 --> 01:26:31,631
- I'm lying here thinking
- of you and what you said.
- 1023
- 01:26:31,631 --> 01:26:33,798
- I'm not angry at all if that's
- what you're thinking.
- 1024
- 01:26:33,798 --> 01:26:36,339
- Hi, Joe. It's Rob again.
- 1025
- 01:26:36,339 --> 01:26:38,047
- I had a really
- good time seeing you.
- 1026
- 01:26:38,047 --> 01:26:39,589
- Give me a... Give me a call.
- 1027
- 01:26:39,589 --> 01:26:41,673
- Hi, Joe.
- 1028
- 01:26:41,673 --> 01:26:44,089
- I left a couple of messages.
- Is everything all right?
- 1029
- 01:26:44,089 --> 01:26:46,798
- I quickly gave up
- trying to remember
- 1030
- 01:26:46,798 --> 01:26:51,506
- the individual relationships.
- It was impossible.
- 1031
- 01:26:51,506 --> 01:26:54,920
- And impossible to predict
- what they wanted to hear.
- 1032
- 01:26:56,214 --> 01:26:58,128
- So I invented a method.
- 1033
- 01:27:01,631 --> 01:27:04,003
- It was all based on chance.
- 1034
- 01:27:07,464 --> 01:27:10,462
- A one meant
- an overly loving answer.
- 1035
- 01:27:13,880 --> 01:27:17,087
- A two, not quite as passionate,
- but still positive.
- 1036
- 01:27:17,838 --> 01:27:21,130
- And so on, up to five,
- which was a complete rejection.
- 1037
- 01:27:21,130 --> 01:27:23,962
- And six, no answer at all.
- 1038
- 01:27:26,589 --> 01:27:30,631
- The trick with this method
- was that I didn't have to worry about
- 1039
- 01:27:30,631 --> 01:27:32,714
- the individual relationships,
- 1040
- 01:27:32,714 --> 01:27:35,922
- but instead became
- completely unpredictable,
- 1041
- 01:27:35,922 --> 01:27:39,087
- which, of course,
- drove the men even wilder.
- 1042
- 01:27:41,172 --> 01:27:42,922
- Hey, Eddie, it's me.
- 1043
- 01:27:42,922 --> 01:27:44,797
- Listen, I've given this
- a lot of thought,
- 1044
- 01:27:44,797 --> 01:27:47,878
- and I've come to the conclusion
- that we're done. Bye.
- 1045
- 01:27:49,172 --> 01:27:52,256
- I was just wondering
- if you wanted to come back,
- 1046
- 01:27:52,256 --> 01:27:54,464
- and maybe we can
- do something nice.
- 1047
- 01:27:54,464 --> 01:27:57,214
- Hi, Patrick, it's Joe.
- 1048
- 01:27:57,214 --> 01:28:00,838
- I had a really lovely time with you,
- and I'd love for you to come back.
- 1049
- 01:28:00,838 --> 01:28:04,172
- If you're interested,
- let me know. Bye.
- 1050
- 01:28:04,172 --> 01:28:08,087
- I really don't think we match,
- and you're quite annoying,
- 1051
- 01:28:08,964 --> 01:28:12,504
- so I don't want to see you anymore.
- Please don't call back.
- 1052
- 01:28:13,506 --> 01:28:15,589
- That sounds rather stressful.
- 1053
- 01:28:15,589 --> 01:28:17,589
- Yes, actually, it was.
- 1054
- 01:28:17,589 --> 01:28:21,504
- But fortunately, I had
- my little book of comfort.
- 1055
- 01:28:23,172 --> 01:28:28,797
- When I needed comfort or peace,
- I took out my herbarium
- 1056
- 01:28:28,797 --> 01:28:30,838
- and looked at my favorite leaves.
- 1057
- 01:28:30,838 --> 01:28:35,254
- Ash, trembling aspen and lime.
- 1058
- 01:28:43,297 --> 01:28:45,713
- When you're dealing
- with a larger group of lovers
- 1059
- 01:28:45,713 --> 01:28:50,588
- as I was, there will typically be
- a difference in their qualities.
- 1060
- 01:28:50,588 --> 01:28:52,922
- H was a sticky bastard.
- 1061
- 01:28:52,922 --> 01:28:57,089
- I had invited A for dinner,
- as he was my favorite,
- 1062
- 01:28:57,089 --> 01:29:01,422
- while H, who was present,
- had become quite irritating.
- 1063
- 01:29:01,422 --> 01:29:03,755
- You have to leave.
- I've got guests for dinner.
- 1064
- 01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:05,462
- But he's not coming until seven.
- 1065
- 01:29:06,630 --> 01:29:09,836
- No. But seven isn't that far away.
- 1066
- 01:29:18,297 --> 01:29:19,962
- Do you love me?
- 1067
- 01:29:22,505 --> 01:29:25,297
- A was to arrive at seven,
- 1068
- 01:29:25,297 --> 01:29:28,003
- and I needed to get H
- out of there.
- 1069
- 01:29:30,797 --> 01:29:32,254
- I love you too much.
- 1070
- 01:29:33,964 --> 01:29:37,172
- You keep promising,
- but I understand now
- 1071
- 01:29:37,172 --> 01:29:40,711
- that you'll never leave
- your family for my sake.
- 1072
- 01:29:42,755 --> 01:29:44,545
- It's sad, but...
- 1073
- 01:29:46,588 --> 01:29:47,753
- it's your choice.
- 1074
- 01:29:49,588 --> 01:29:52,753
- It's not satisfying for me that
- I can't have you completely.
- 1075
- 01:29:56,380 --> 01:29:59,003
- Which is why we can't
- see each other any longer.
- 1076
- 01:30:03,713 --> 01:30:04,753
- Goodbye.
- 1077
- 01:30:09,297 --> 01:30:10,295
- Look...
- 1078
- 01:30:15,463 --> 01:30:17,461
- Have a nice life.
- 1079
- 01:30:43,421 --> 01:30:46,461
- My darling, I'm yours.
- 1080
- 01:30:47,172 --> 01:30:48,419
- I've left her.
- 1081
- 01:30:56,672 --> 01:30:59,586
- - Has he gone inside?
- - Yes.
- 1082
- 01:31:00,964 --> 01:31:02,711
- Is the door closed?
- 1083
- 01:31:14,713 --> 01:31:17,213
- - Uh, hello.
- - Hello.
- 1084
- 01:31:17,213 --> 01:31:20,255
- Apologize. We, uh...
- 1085
- 01:31:20,255 --> 01:31:22,922
- had promised not to come up.
- 1086
- 01:31:22,922 --> 01:31:25,838
- We just wanted to...
- 1087
- 01:31:25,838 --> 01:31:29,338
- make sure he got here safely,
- now that he's...
- 1088
- 01:31:29,338 --> 01:31:30,878
- made the big decision.
- 1089
- 01:31:32,338 --> 01:31:36,255
- May the children see him inside?
- 1090
- 01:31:36,255 --> 01:31:39,047
- They say that the experience
- of saying goodbye
- 1091
- 01:31:39,047 --> 01:31:42,003
- can be very useful later
- when dealing with trauma.
- 1092
- 01:31:58,922 --> 01:32:00,211
- What a nice place.
- 1093
- 01:32:01,713 --> 01:32:04,628
- It's, uh... so bohemian.
- 1094
- 01:32:06,171 --> 01:32:08,505
- We used to have a place
- like this before we were...
- 1095
- 01:32:08,505 --> 01:32:10,380
- we were married.
- 1096
- 01:32:10,380 --> 01:32:13,836
- Before the children,
- me and my husband.
- 1097
- 01:32:15,213 --> 01:32:19,378
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- He isn't anymore, is he?
- 1098
- 01:32:20,171 --> 01:32:22,711
- It's all so new and confusing.
- 1099
- 01:32:27,338 --> 01:32:30,419
- He wanted to give us
- everything, but, uh...
- 1100
- 01:32:31,588 --> 01:32:33,628
- Of course we couldn't accept that.
- 1101
- 01:32:35,880 --> 01:32:37,336
- Oh, that's right.
- 1102
- 01:32:38,171 --> 01:32:41,171
- - You need the car key.
- - No, I don't need the car.
- 1103
- 01:32:41,171 --> 01:32:43,213
- Oh, yes, you do.
- 1104
- 01:32:43,213 --> 01:32:44,711
- He likes the car.
- 1105
- 01:32:46,213 --> 01:32:47,880
- Here.
- 1106
- 01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:49,921
- - Please, just take it.
- - I don't want it.
- 1107
- 01:32:49,921 --> 01:32:52,628
- - Just take it.
- - I don't want the fucking car!
- 1108
- 01:32:56,505 --> 01:33:00,253
- It's all right.
- We'll get the bus home.
- 1109
- 01:33:00,921 --> 01:33:03,919
- Children might as well get used
- to public transport now, right?
- 1110
- 01:33:05,088 --> 01:33:08,836
- Of course, their standard of living
- won't be the same anymore, but...
- 1111
- 01:33:13,255 --> 01:33:15,503
- I'm not saying that
- to bother anyone.
- 1112
- 01:33:16,505 --> 01:33:18,086
- One has to be realistic.
- 1113
- 01:33:22,296 --> 01:33:23,545
- Hey.
- 1114
- 01:33:25,713 --> 01:33:27,046
- What's this?
- 1115
- 01:33:27,046 --> 01:33:28,961
- It's a present.
- 1116
- 01:33:29,879 --> 01:33:33,044
- A pillow he has embroidered himself.
- 1117
- 01:33:34,630 --> 01:33:36,461
- - And who's it for?
- - Daddy.
- 1118
- 01:33:38,505 --> 01:33:40,755
- I do hope it's all right
- if the children
- 1119
- 01:33:40,755 --> 01:33:42,255
- call their father "Daddy" here.
- 1120
- 01:33:42,255 --> 01:33:45,963
- If you prefer, they can call him...
- 1121
- 01:33:45,963 --> 01:33:50,129
- "him," or simply, "the man."
- 1122
- 01:33:50,129 --> 01:33:52,670
- Whatever.
- 1123
- 01:33:56,588 --> 01:33:58,253
- "Whatever."
- 1124
- 01:33:59,463 --> 01:34:01,835
- Must be hard when
- you've got everything,
- 1125
- 01:34:02,713 --> 01:34:04,253
- to know what to say.
- 1126
- 01:34:05,380 --> 01:34:07,380
- To be honest,
- my first thought was never,
- 1127
- 01:34:07,380 --> 01:34:09,547
- ever to let either
- of you see the children,
- 1128
- 01:34:09,547 --> 01:34:11,963
- but then I changed my mind.
- 1129
- 01:34:11,963 --> 01:34:14,505
- I thought it only right that
- their father be confronted
- 1130
- 01:34:14,505 --> 01:34:17,002
- by the little people
- whose lives he's destroyed.
- 1131
- 01:34:19,088 --> 01:34:20,877
- Give Daddy your present.
- 1132
- 01:34:24,547 --> 01:34:27,710
- It's a car the little dear
- has embroidered.
- 1133
- 01:34:29,630 --> 01:34:32,505
- I'm aware that
- not everyone can see it, but...
- 1134
- 01:34:32,505 --> 01:34:35,338
- with the heart one can see much,
- 1135
- 01:34:35,338 --> 01:34:38,669
- however unimportant that
- information may be to you.
- 1136
- 01:34:40,547 --> 01:34:45,213
- Would it be all right if I show
- the children the whoring bed?
- 1137
- 01:34:45,213 --> 01:34:49,669
- After all, they also had
- a stake in this event.
- 1138
- 01:34:53,380 --> 01:34:55,461
- You need to see it.
- Right?
- 1139
- 01:34:56,463 --> 01:34:58,336
- Let's go see
- Daddy's favorite place.
- 1140
- 01:34:59,421 --> 01:35:01,585
- Come on, boys.
- 1141
- 01:35:02,963 --> 01:35:04,877
- Oh!
- 1142
- 01:35:07,171 --> 01:35:11,253
- So this is where it all happened.
- 1143
- 01:35:17,754 --> 01:35:20,710
- You should try to
- memorize this room.
- 1144
- 01:35:21,338 --> 01:35:23,378
- Especially the bed.
- 1145
- 01:35:23,963 --> 01:35:26,837
- It'll stand you in good stead
- later in therapy.
- 1146
- 01:35:26,837 --> 01:35:28,338
- Oh.
- 1147
- 01:35:28,338 --> 01:35:30,921
- Here I sit rambling on about therapy
- 1148
- 01:35:30,921 --> 01:35:33,129
- without a thought
- of what it might cost.
- 1149
- 01:35:33,129 --> 01:35:36,169
- I do hope you don't think
- we're here to beg.
- 1150
- 01:35:40,004 --> 01:35:41,587
- I'm sorry.
- 1151
- 01:35:41,587 --> 01:35:43,921
- I'm sorry.
- 1152
- 01:35:43,921 --> 01:35:46,544
- Being silly. Mommy's being silly.
- 1153
- 01:35:47,171 --> 01:35:49,627
- Let's have a cup of tea.
- 1154
- 01:36:08,255 --> 01:36:10,587
- Hope it's not too weak.
- 1155
- 01:36:10,587 --> 01:36:13,294
- Afraid I'm rather nervous.
- 1156
- 01:36:19,504 --> 01:36:23,253
- The children's father likes
- two lumps of sugar in his tea.
- 1157
- 01:36:41,587 --> 01:36:43,420
- Mm-mm.
- I'll get it.
- 1158
- 01:36:43,420 --> 01:36:45,627
- Mm-mm.
- - No, no, please, please.
- 1159
- 01:36:47,712 --> 01:36:50,255
- - Hello.
- - Hello.
- 1160
- 01:36:50,255 --> 01:36:52,255
- - Yes?
- - Uh...
- 1161
- 01:36:52,255 --> 01:36:54,796
- How nice. Lovely.
- 1162
- 01:36:54,796 --> 01:36:58,337
- - Boys, come here.
- - Is Joe here?
- 1163
- 01:36:58,337 --> 01:36:59,502
- This might be interesting.
- 1164
- 01:37:01,754 --> 01:37:03,046
- - This is my son.
- - Yes.
- 1165
- 01:37:03,046 --> 01:37:04,796
- - Yes.
- - Hello, hello.
- 1166
- 01:37:04,796 --> 01:37:07,462
- - Look him in the eyes.
- - I'm Andy. Hello.
- 1167
- 01:37:07,462 --> 01:37:09,504
- - Friend of Joe's then?
- - Yeah.
- 1168
- 01:37:09,504 --> 01:37:13,129
- - You known each other long?
- - Uh... Not that long, no.
- 1169
- 01:37:13,129 --> 01:37:14,921
- - Not very long?
- - No.
- 1170
- 01:37:14,921 --> 01:37:15,794
- Oh.
- 1171
- 01:37:23,671 --> 01:37:25,961
- A menage-a-trois.
- 1172
- 01:37:28,046 --> 01:37:30,254
- It's all so exotic.
- 1173
- 01:37:30,254 --> 01:37:33,044
- So broad-minded.
- 1174
- 01:37:34,754 --> 01:37:38,460
- On that point... I failed.
- 1175
- 01:37:39,462 --> 01:37:40,794
- No doubt about it.
- 1176
- 01:37:43,337 --> 01:37:47,254
- Boys, now is the time to be alert,
- 1177
- 01:37:47,254 --> 01:37:50,752
- and ask all the questions
- your heart's desire.
- 1178
- 01:37:52,254 --> 01:37:54,796
- Because...
- 1179
- 01:37:54,796 --> 01:37:58,088
- I hope that you shall
- never have to encounter
- 1180
- 01:37:58,088 --> 01:38:01,335
- such people or be in such
- a situation ever again.
- 1181
- 01:38:03,337 --> 01:38:06,877
- Well, hmm?
- You don't have any questions?
- 1182
- 01:38:07,796 --> 01:38:09,126
- No?
- 1183
- 01:38:11,629 --> 01:38:14,420
- Well, I'll start, shall I?
- 1184
- 01:38:14,420 --> 01:38:17,087
- Approximately, how many lives...
- 1185
- 01:38:17,087 --> 01:38:20,504
- do you think she has time
- to destroy in one day?
- 1186
- 01:38:20,504 --> 01:38:23,585
- Five? 50?
- 1187
- 01:38:24,712 --> 01:38:26,710
- Or several hundreds?
- 1188
- 01:38:27,837 --> 01:38:30,879
- I admit the latter sounds improbable,
- 1189
- 01:38:30,879 --> 01:38:34,710
- but where there's a will
- there's a way.
- 1190
- 01:38:42,963 --> 01:38:46,585
- Look, this is just
- a big misunderstanding.
- 1191
- 01:38:51,504 --> 01:38:53,001
- Boys?
- 1192
- 01:38:55,254 --> 01:38:57,377
- I don't... I don't love your father.
- 1193
- 01:38:58,796 --> 01:39:01,379
- She's just saying that
- to make us feel better.
- 1194
- 01:39:01,379 --> 01:39:03,210
- I'm sure you understand that.
- 1195
- 01:39:04,003 --> 01:39:06,293
- Because if it were a joke,
- I mean...
- 1196
- 01:39:07,420 --> 01:39:12,210
- If... this were really a joke,
- then it would be a joke so cruel.
- 1197
- 01:39:17,671 --> 01:39:21,126
- No one can be that cruel.
- 1198
- 01:39:24,587 --> 01:39:27,671
- They say that even the Huns
- on their rampage
- 1199
- 01:39:27,671 --> 01:39:31,460
- were rather unreserved,
- but to split up a family...
- 1200
- 01:39:34,796 --> 01:39:38,878
- To destroy a mesh of feelings
- woven over 20 years
- 1201
- 01:39:38,878 --> 01:39:41,918
- is no joke, I can assure you.
- 1202
- 01:39:51,920 --> 01:39:53,168
- Well...
- 1203
- 01:39:54,796 --> 01:39:57,629
- If three's a crowd,
- then seven must be
- 1204
- 01:39:57,629 --> 01:40:00,293
- a bit of a challenge
- for the pretty miss.
- 1205
- 01:40:02,420 --> 01:40:07,001
- I must say I have a hard time
- picturing her enjoying loneliness.
- 1206
- 01:40:09,420 --> 01:40:12,920
- I think we better grab
- the chance to get away
- 1207
- 01:40:12,920 --> 01:40:15,335
- before things become grotesque.
- 1208
- 01:40:18,379 --> 01:40:21,418
- No, no, no!
- 1209
- 01:40:24,003 --> 01:40:27,168
- You wouldn't want to give your father
- a guilty conscience now, would you?
- 1210
- 01:41:05,170 --> 01:41:07,335
- So how did this episode
- affect your life?
- 1211
- 01:41:08,711 --> 01:41:10,043
- Not at all.
- 1212
- 01:41:12,254 --> 01:41:15,001
- - Not at all?
- - No.
- 1213
- 01:41:15,962 --> 01:41:19,001
- You can't make an omelet
- without breaking a few eggs.
- 1214
- 01:41:23,628 --> 01:41:25,460
- Well, that's true.
- 1215
- 01:41:28,462 --> 01:41:32,045
- Some people... blame the addict.
- 1216
- 01:41:32,045 --> 01:41:36,212
- Other people feel sorry
- for the addict.
- 1217
- 01:41:36,212 --> 01:41:40,834
- But I was an addict out of lust,
- not out of need.
- 1218
- 01:41:41,586 --> 01:41:43,377
- You would say that, wouldn't you?
- 1219
- 01:41:44,254 --> 01:41:47,836
- And lust that led to
- destruction around me,
- 1220
- 01:41:47,836 --> 01:41:49,293
- everywhere I went.
- 1221
- 01:41:51,003 --> 01:41:55,711
- Well, addiction
- sometimes leads to an...
- 1222
- 01:41:55,711 --> 01:41:57,543
- absence of empathy.
- 1223
- 01:41:59,337 --> 01:42:00,711
- You can't fight a lion
- 1224
- 01:42:00,711 --> 01:42:03,335
- and blow the noses
- of your children at the same time.
- 1225
- 01:42:05,920 --> 01:42:09,001
- For me, nymphomania
- was callousness.
- 1226
- 01:42:12,254 --> 01:42:13,960
- You're very stubborn.
- 1227
- 01:42:14,920 --> 01:42:17,085
- But what about yourself?
- 1228
- 01:42:18,003 --> 01:42:20,501
- How did you feel during all this?
- 1229
- 01:42:30,461 --> 01:42:33,501
- Did you feel good,
- or did you feel bad?
- 1230
- 01:42:41,545 --> 01:42:44,212
- It's funny because
- when I think about my life
- 1231
- 01:42:44,212 --> 01:42:49,045
- as a whole, I can only say
- that I felt good.
- 1232
- 01:42:49,045 --> 01:42:53,753
- But when I try and remember
- a specific episode,
- 1233
- 01:42:53,753 --> 01:42:57,170
- I'd say that just then
- I felt rather bad.
- 1234
- 01:42:57,170 --> 01:42:58,751
- In what way?
- 1235
- 01:43:04,378 --> 01:43:07,459
- Mrs. H was right
- about the loneliness.
- 1236
- 01:43:08,254 --> 01:43:12,543
- I'd be lying if I said it hadn't
- been my constant companion.
- 1237
- 01:43:15,378 --> 01:43:19,501
- So you were with all
- these men, and you still felt alone?
- 1238
- 01:43:26,628 --> 01:43:28,960
- I didn't want to tell you about it.
- 1239
- 01:43:30,586 --> 01:43:33,085
- But you've led me into a trap.
- 1240
- 01:43:36,336 --> 01:43:38,876
- It was a certain feeling.
- 1241
- 01:43:43,711 --> 01:43:48,251
- Oh, how awful that everything
- has to be so trivial.
- 1242
- 01:43:57,753 --> 01:44:00,670
- When I was seven
- I had to have an operation.
- 1243
- 01:44:00,670 --> 01:44:03,960
- Nothing serious, but it did
- require anesthesia.
- 1244
- 01:44:06,169 --> 01:44:10,626
- I had already been pre-medicated,
- and was feeling all right.
- 1245
- 01:44:11,795 --> 01:44:14,795
- But when I looked into the room
- where the doctors and nurses
- 1246
- 01:44:14,795 --> 01:44:18,045
- were preparing for the operation,
- 1247
- 01:44:18,045 --> 01:44:20,545
- it was as if had to pass through
- 1248
- 01:44:20,545 --> 01:44:24,501
- an impenetrable gate
- all by myself.
- 1249
- 01:44:26,920 --> 01:44:29,628
- It wasn't just that
- I missed my mom.
- 1250
- 01:44:29,628 --> 01:44:32,169
- I don't think I missed my dad,
- 1251
- 01:44:32,169 --> 01:44:33,960
- even though he was
- the nice one.
- 1252
- 01:44:34,795 --> 01:44:39,209
- It was as if I was completely alone
- in the universe.
- 1253
- 01:44:41,294 --> 01:44:46,084
- As if my whole body was filled
- with loneliness and tears.
- 1254
- 01:45:09,294 --> 01:45:13,084
- And I'm still not allowed
- to feel sorry for you?
- 1255
- 01:45:14,920 --> 01:45:16,668
- Shall we go on?
- 1256
- 01:45:42,419 --> 01:45:44,419
- What are you reading?
- 1257
- 01:45:44,419 --> 01:45:47,378
- I'm not
- reading it really, I'm just...
- 1258
- 01:45:47,378 --> 01:45:50,042
- reacquainting myself
- with Edgar Allan Poe.
- 1259
- 01:45:51,253 --> 01:45:52,417
- I don't know him.
- 1260
- 01:45:53,836 --> 01:45:55,751
- Well, he was a...
- 1261
- 01:45:57,753 --> 01:45:59,875
- very anxiety-ridden man.
- 1262
- 01:46:05,961 --> 01:46:10,086
- He died in the most fearful way
- you can imagine,
- 1263
- 01:46:10,086 --> 01:46:12,084
- in something called delirium tremens.
- 1264
- 01:46:15,169 --> 01:46:19,919
- It occurs when the long-time
- abuse of alcohol is followed by...
- 1265
- 01:46:19,919 --> 01:46:22,167
- by a sudden abstinence.
- 1266
- 01:46:24,169 --> 01:46:27,751
- Your body goes into some kind
- of hyper-sensitive shock.
- 1267
- 01:46:28,753 --> 01:46:31,919
- You can see the most
- horrifying hallucinations
- 1268
- 01:46:31,919 --> 01:46:37,378
- or rats and snakes, and cockroaches
- coming out of the floor,
- 1269
- 01:46:37,378 --> 01:46:40,626
- and worms slithering the walls.
- 1270
- 01:46:43,503 --> 01:46:47,253
- One's entire nervous system
- is on high alert,
- 1271
- 01:46:47,253 --> 01:46:49,875
- and you have a constant
- panic and paranoia.
- 1272
- 01:46:51,711 --> 01:46:54,251
- And then the
- circulatory system fails.
- 1273
- 01:46:55,086 --> 01:46:57,628
- But the panic and horror...
- 1274
- 01:46:57,628 --> 01:47:00,626
- remains until
- the moment of death.
- 1275
- 01:47:17,127 --> 01:47:19,084
- I know what delirium is.
- 1276
- 01:47:23,419 --> 01:47:24,752
- "During the whole
- 1277
- 01:47:24,752 --> 01:47:26,503
- of a dull, dark and soundless day
- 1278
- 01:47:26,503 --> 01:47:29,710
- in the autumn of the year,
- when the clouds hung
- 1279
- 01:47:29,710 --> 01:47:32,461
- oppressively low in the heavens,
- 1280
- 01:47:32,461 --> 01:47:35,710
- I had been passing alone
- on horseback
- 1281
- 01:47:35,710 --> 01:47:39,419
- through a singularly
- dreary tract of country;
- 1282
- 01:47:39,419 --> 01:47:41,294
- and at length found myself
- 1283
- 01:47:41,294 --> 01:47:44,211
- as the shades of
- the evening drew on,
- 1284
- 01:47:44,211 --> 01:47:48,334
- within view of the melancholy
- House of Usher."
- 1285
- 01:48:18,086 --> 01:48:19,959
- Hey, Dad.
- 1286
- 01:48:31,627 --> 01:48:32,625
- Hi, love.
- 1287
- 01:48:35,253 --> 01:48:36,583
- How are you?
- 1288
- 01:48:38,502 --> 01:48:40,000
- I fought with Mom.
- 1289
- 01:48:41,794 --> 01:48:44,292
- She's... She's not coming.
- 1290
- 01:48:48,877 --> 01:48:51,336
- You ought not to fight with her.
- 1291
- 01:48:51,336 --> 01:48:53,708
- You know Kay's fear of hospitals.
- 1292
- 01:48:57,378 --> 01:48:59,585
- I know
- she's not coming.
- 1293
- 01:48:59,585 --> 01:49:02,292
- We already said everything
- we needed to say.
- 1294
- 01:49:05,253 --> 01:49:07,084
- Kay and I said goodbye at home.
- 1295
- 01:49:08,585 --> 01:49:10,542
- I don't want her here at all.
- 1296
- 01:49:14,002 --> 01:49:18,000
- - I can't accept that.
- - You'll have to.
- 1297
- 01:49:18,961 --> 01:49:21,750
- She's a cowardly, stupid bitch.
- 1298
- 01:49:23,460 --> 01:49:24,917
- No, she's not.
- 1299
- 01:49:26,169 --> 01:49:28,127
- - Yeah.
- - No, she's not.
- 1300
- 01:49:28,127 --> 01:49:29,669
- - Yes.
- - No, she's not.
- 1301
- 01:49:29,669 --> 01:49:32,251
- Yes, she is.
- You've never understood that.
- 1302
- 01:49:47,418 --> 01:49:49,084
- Doesn't it scare you?
- 1303
- 01:49:51,086 --> 01:49:56,792
- No.
- 1304
- 01:49:59,794 --> 01:50:01,959
- How can you not be afraid?
- 1305
- 01:50:06,877 --> 01:50:08,875
- I've seen so many die.
- 1306
- 01:50:11,252 --> 01:50:14,585
- And there's that Epicurus quote
- 1307
- 01:50:14,585 --> 01:50:16,333
- about not fearing death.
- 1308
- 01:50:17,752 --> 01:50:21,418
- "When we are, death has not come.
- 1309
- 01:50:21,418 --> 01:50:25,875
- When death has come... we are not."
- 1310
- 01:50:30,293 --> 01:50:32,500
- You know it's going to happen.
- 1311
- 01:50:33,127 --> 01:50:36,585
- I also know all the drugs
- the doctors have to offer.
- 1312
- 01:50:36,585 --> 01:50:38,124
- So, no.
- 1313
- 01:50:39,086 --> 01:50:41,002
- I am not...
- 1314
- 01:50:41,002 --> 01:50:43,124
- I am not afraid.
- 1315
- 01:50:45,044 --> 01:50:47,833
- Hmm. My beautiful girl.
- 1316
- 01:50:49,794 --> 01:50:51,708
- Beautiful dad.
- 1317
- 01:50:58,961 --> 01:51:00,752
- Hello, Doctor.
- 1318
- 01:51:00,752 --> 01:51:03,794
- Hello, Doctor.
- This is my daughter Joe.
- 1319
- 01:51:03,794 --> 01:51:05,416
- - Hey, Joe.
- - Hi.
- 1320
- 01:51:08,168 --> 01:51:10,085
- Do you need anything?
- 1321
- 01:51:10,085 --> 01:51:13,502
- As I've said, I've decided to be
- 1322
- 01:51:13,502 --> 01:51:16,085
- an exemplary patient,
- completely subjecting myself
- 1323
- 01:51:16,085 --> 01:51:18,750
- - to doctor's orders.
- - Are you in pain?
- 1324
- 01:51:20,544 --> 01:51:22,002
- I don't think so, no.
- 1325
- 01:51:22,002 --> 01:51:24,083
- We're going to give you
- a splash all the same.
- 1326
- 01:51:45,544 --> 01:51:47,083
- Your hair is longer.
- 1327
- 01:51:49,669 --> 01:51:51,333
- No, it's not.
- 1328
- 01:51:54,418 --> 01:51:56,500
- They're giving you
- too much medication.
- 1329
- 01:52:07,126 --> 01:52:07,833
- No.
- 1330
- 01:52:09,335 --> 01:52:10,875
- Dad.
- 1331
- 01:52:11,669 --> 01:52:15,252
- It's okay, Dad.
- You're just dreaming.
- 1332
- 01:52:15,252 --> 01:52:19,833
- You're having a nightmare.
- 1333
- 01:52:21,335 --> 01:52:24,708
- It's okay.
- 1334
- 01:52:42,335 --> 01:52:44,832
- It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
- 1335
- 01:52:47,544 --> 01:52:50,667
- Okay. Don't worry, I'm going
- to get the doctor. Don't worry.
- 1336
- 01:53:07,377 --> 01:53:09,375
- You must be exhausted.
- 1337
- 01:53:11,043 --> 01:53:12,333
- I'm fine.
- 1338
- 01:53:13,168 --> 01:53:15,583
- I think you should go home,
- get some rest.
- 1339
- 01:53:17,377 --> 01:53:20,458
- No. Someone needs to be here.
- 1340
- 01:53:22,335 --> 01:53:25,208
- Perhaps you could share
- with some other family members.
- 1341
- 01:53:28,627 --> 01:53:30,416
- There aren't any others.
- 1342
- 01:54:04,709 --> 01:54:06,418
- Kay!
- 1343
- 01:54:06,418 --> 01:54:09,584
- Daddy, it's okay.
- 1344
- 01:54:09,584 --> 01:54:12,500
- Kay?
- 1345
- 01:54:16,377 --> 01:54:17,876
- Kay.
- 1346
- 01:54:17,876 --> 01:54:20,666
- Kay. Kay.
- 1347
- 01:54:26,335 --> 01:54:29,876
- Kay.
- 1348
- 01:54:29,876 --> 01:54:32,543
- Kay! Kay.
- 1349
- 01:54:32,543 --> 01:54:35,709
- - Kay!
- - I'm going to get the doctor.
- 1350
- 01:54:35,709 --> 01:54:37,252
- Kay!
- 1351
- 01:54:37,252 --> 01:54:38,874
- I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy.
- 1352
- 01:54:42,293 --> 01:54:46,418
- Excuse me. My dad is really unwell.
- 1353
- 01:54:46,418 --> 01:54:48,666
- Sit. I'll go have a look.
- 1354
- 01:54:50,418 --> 01:54:52,460
- Maybe you could give him
- some more morphine.
- 1355
- 01:54:52,460 --> 01:54:55,124
- There's something
- I'd like to explain.
- 1356
- 01:54:56,709 --> 01:54:58,501
- I can certainly give him
- more morphine,
- 1357
- 01:54:58,501 --> 01:55:01,707
- but most likely it won't
- make much difference.
- 1358
- 01:55:02,709 --> 01:55:07,210
- Most deaths, fortunately,
- are uneventful,
- 1359
- 01:55:07,210 --> 01:55:12,751
- as long as you medicate the patients
- to keep them free of fear and pain.
- 1360
- 01:55:12,751 --> 01:55:15,751
- In a few cases,
- the process of dying
- 1361
- 01:55:15,751 --> 01:55:17,541
- causes brain damage,
- 1362
- 01:55:18,751 --> 01:55:20,999
- which triggers
- what we call delirium.
- 1363
- 01:55:21,751 --> 01:55:26,582
- That's not something we can soften
- with morphine, unfortunately.
- 1364
- 01:55:45,210 --> 01:55:46,666
- Daddy.
- 1365
- 01:55:56,876 --> 01:55:58,582
- It's gonna be okay.
- 1366
- 01:56:10,417 --> 01:56:13,290
- I don't know
- what's happening to me.
- 1367
- 01:56:30,209 --> 01:56:32,459
- Don't you want to take a little walk?
- 1368
- 01:56:32,459 --> 01:56:34,791
- I'll stay with your father
- in the meantime.
- 1369
- 01:56:35,334 --> 01:56:38,209
- You'll stay?
- You'll stay here?
- 1370
- 01:56:38,209 --> 01:56:39,207
- Yes.
- 1371
- 01:57:36,584 --> 01:57:38,499
- Ash tree leaves.
- 1372
- 01:57:40,960 --> 01:57:42,749
- Where did you find them?
- 1373
- 01:57:43,251 --> 01:57:45,123
- They were in the park.
- 1374
- 01:57:53,251 --> 01:57:56,207
- It truly is the most beautiful
- tree in the forest.
- 1375
- 01:58:00,501 --> 01:58:02,793
- But Dad...
- 1376
- 01:58:02,793 --> 01:58:05,749
- How do you recognize it
- in winter?
- 1377
- 01:58:06,751 --> 01:58:08,666
- Told you 100 times.
- 1378
- 01:58:10,709 --> 01:58:12,415
- I can't remember.
- 1379
- 01:58:17,167 --> 01:58:20,207
- When the ash tree was created...
- 1380
- 01:58:22,834 --> 01:58:25,791
- it made all the other trees
- in the forest jealous,
- 1381
- 01:58:26,876 --> 01:58:28,666
- because it was...
- 1382
- 01:58:30,959 --> 01:58:33,582
- It was the most beautiful tree
- in the forest.
- 1383
- 01:58:37,084 --> 01:58:38,915
- It had the strongest wood.
- 1384
- 01:58:40,084 --> 01:58:41,873
- It could be used for anything.
- 1385
- 01:58:44,543 --> 01:58:48,415
- It was the World Tree
- in Norse mythology.
- 1386
- 01:58:49,917 --> 01:58:52,873
- You couldn't say
- anything bad about it.
- 1387
- 01:58:57,084 --> 01:59:00,875
- And then when all the other
- trees saw the ash tree
- 1388
- 01:59:00,875 --> 01:59:03,957
- with its black buds...
- 1389
- 01:59:05,042 --> 01:59:07,123
- they all started laughing.
- 1390
- 01:59:08,042 --> 01:59:09,541
- "Oh, look.
- 1391
- 01:59:10,792 --> 01:59:14,374
- The ash tree's had its fingers
- in the ashes."
- 1392
- 01:59:31,501 --> 01:59:34,792
- Dad. Daddy!
- 1393
- 01:59:34,792 --> 01:59:36,833
- Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong?
- 1394
- 01:59:36,833 --> 01:59:38,123
- Daddy, what's wrong?
- 1395
- 01:59:41,709 --> 01:59:44,334
- Daddy, it's me!
- It's me, then. It's me!
- 1396
- 01:59:44,334 --> 01:59:47,207
- Help! Help!
- 1397
- 01:59:49,917 --> 01:59:51,125
- Okay.
- 1398
- 01:59:51,125 --> 01:59:53,290
- Okay.
- 1399
- 01:59:56,334 --> 01:59:58,790
- Okay. It's okay, it's okay.
- It's all right.
- 1400
- 02:00:02,667 --> 02:00:04,457
- It's all right.
- 1401
- 02:00:14,750 --> 02:00:17,042
- We have to fixate him.
- 1402
- 02:00:17,042 --> 02:00:20,582
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing to me?
- 1403
- 02:00:25,667 --> 02:00:28,915
- Joe! What are
- you doing to me?
- 1404
- 02:00:43,125 --> 02:00:44,082
- Joe!
- 1405
- 02:00:44,625 --> 02:00:47,501
- Joe!
- 1406
- 02:00:47,501 --> 02:00:49,998
- I'm sorry.
- 1407
- 02:00:55,167 --> 02:00:56,581
- You should take a break.
- 1408
- 02:02:30,291 --> 02:02:32,040
- Excuse me.
- 1409
- 02:02:39,333 --> 02:02:41,167
- Okay, don't worry.
- 1410
- 02:02:41,167 --> 02:02:43,831
- Just clean that up.
- 1411
- 02:03:30,833 --> 02:03:32,248
- Ready?
- 1412
- 02:04:35,500 --> 02:04:39,790
- When he died,
- I had no feelings left.
- 1413
- 02:04:40,750 --> 02:04:43,081
- Well,
- that's certainly understandable.
- 1414
- 02:04:43,875 --> 02:04:46,956
- No. I don't know
- what happened to me.
- 1415
- 02:04:48,208 --> 02:04:49,748
- It was very shameful.
- 1416
- 02:04:50,875 --> 02:04:54,623
- Shameful?
- I don't understand.
- 1417
- 02:05:20,458 --> 02:05:22,665
- I lubricated.
- 1418
- 02:05:40,375 --> 02:05:42,708
- I know you like to present
- yourself in a negative way,
- 1419
- 02:05:42,708 --> 02:05:45,291
- and that you have this,
- kind of dark bias
- 1420
- 02:05:45,291 --> 02:05:47,373
- that you're worse
- than everyone else.
- 1421
- 02:05:48,041 --> 02:05:49,956
- But this story doesn't
- add to that belief.
- 1422
- 02:05:52,333 --> 02:05:55,706
- It's extremely common
- to react sexually in a crisis.
- 1423
- 02:05:56,500 --> 02:05:59,083
- It may be shameful to you, but...
- 1424
- 02:05:59,083 --> 02:06:02,581
- in literature,
- there is many worse examples.
- 1425
- 02:06:06,333 --> 02:06:08,665
- But I did inherit
- my father's caliper.
- 1426
- 02:06:11,166 --> 02:06:15,830
- I found it so beautiful
- and worn by its use.
- 1427
- 02:06:17,041 --> 02:06:19,289
- What else did you receive?
- 1428
- 02:06:22,041 --> 02:06:23,331
- Nothing.
- 1429
- 02:06:25,124 --> 02:06:27,583
- I didn't have the strength
- to argue with my mother,
- 1430
- 02:06:27,583 --> 02:06:30,958
- so I wrote off any further
- part of my inheritance.
- 1431
- 02:06:30,958 --> 02:06:35,997
- Really?
- Well, that's a dramatic gesture.
- 1432
- 02:06:39,291 --> 02:06:42,749
- - You listen to music, I see?
- - Yes.
- 1433
- 02:06:42,749 --> 02:06:46,916
- I like it a lot.
- Shall I find a tape?
- 1434
- 02:06:46,916 --> 02:06:51,747
- No, if there's a tape already
- in the machine? I'd like to hear that.
- 1435
- 02:06:52,291 --> 02:06:54,333
- It's something I've been
- listening to a lot lately,
- 1436
- 02:06:54,333 --> 02:06:57,622
- though it's not an entirely complete
- recording, unfortunately.
- 1437
- 02:06:58,250 --> 02:07:00,916
- - What is it?
- - It's Bach.
- 1438
- 02:07:00,916 --> 02:07:03,664
- From his little organ book.
- 1439
- 02:07:10,666 --> 02:07:12,956
- The theme is originally a hymn,
- 1440
- 02:07:13,832 --> 02:07:17,206
- Bach rearranged it
- and embellished it a little.
- 1441
- 02:07:18,208 --> 02:07:21,416
- He was the master at polyphony,
- if you know what that is.
- 1442
- 02:07:21,416 --> 02:07:24,083
- No, yet another thing I don't know.
- 1443
- 02:07:24,083 --> 02:07:27,291
- Polyphony is
- from the Middle Ages.
- 1444
- 02:07:27,291 --> 02:07:29,789
- It's an entirely European phenomenon.
- 1445
- 02:07:30,624 --> 02:07:33,624
- It's distinguished
- by the idea that,
- 1446
- 02:07:33,624 --> 02:07:36,747
- every voice is its own melody,
- 1447
- 02:07:38,208 --> 02:07:40,164
- but together in harmony.
- 1448
- 02:07:42,041 --> 02:07:46,250
- Bach's forerunner, Palestrina,
- he wrote many words
- 1449
- 02:07:46,250 --> 02:07:48,916
- for several choirs at the same time,
- 1450
- 02:07:48,916 --> 02:07:51,331
- wallowing in polyphony.
- 1451
- 02:08:01,291 --> 02:08:03,541
- But in my eyes, Bach perfected
- 1452
- 02:08:03,541 --> 02:08:05,872
- the melodic expression
- and the harmony.
- 1453
- 02:08:06,916 --> 02:08:11,333
- And also mixed up with some
- rather incomprehensible
- 1454
- 02:08:11,333 --> 02:08:13,707
- mystique regarding numbers,
- 1455
- 02:08:13,707 --> 02:08:17,455
- most likely based on
- the Fibonacci Sequence.
- 1456
- 02:08:19,041 --> 02:08:21,374
- You know the one that
- starts with the zero,
- 1457
- 02:08:21,374 --> 02:08:22,580
- and then comes the one.
- 1458
- 02:08:23,291 --> 02:08:27,541
- The sequence is created by
- adding the two previous numbers
- 1459
- 02:08:27,541 --> 02:08:30,832
- to create the new one,
- so it's zero plus one makes one.
- 1460
- 02:08:30,832 --> 02:08:33,707
- and one plus one makes two,
- and two plus one makes three
- 1461
- 02:08:33,707 --> 02:08:37,124
- and three plus two makes five,
- and five plus three makes eight,
- 1462
- 02:08:37,124 --> 02:08:39,291
- and eight plus five makes 13.
- 1463
- 02:08:39,291 --> 02:08:41,041
- The sequence has an
- interesting connection
- 1464
- 02:08:41,041 --> 02:08:43,789
- to Pythagoras' theorem
- of the Golden Section.
- 1465
- 02:08:45,541 --> 02:08:48,999
- It was all about finding out
- a divine methodology
- 1466
- 02:08:48,999 --> 02:08:50,916
- in art and architecture.
- 1467
- 02:08:50,916 --> 02:08:52,874
- A bit like the way a tri-tone,
- 1468
- 02:08:52,874 --> 02:08:54,999
- which was played on the piano
- in your little club
- 1469
- 02:08:54,999 --> 02:08:56,956
- was supposed to be
- a satanic interval.
- 1470
- 02:08:58,624 --> 02:09:02,789
- The sum of the numeric values
- represented in Bach's name is 14,
- 1471
- 02:09:03,791 --> 02:09:06,041
- a number he often used
- in his compositions.
- 1472
- 02:09:06,041 --> 02:09:07,874
- The clever thing about Bach's name
- 1473
- 02:09:07,874 --> 02:09:11,457
- is that the numeric value
- of the individual letters
- 1474
- 02:09:11,457 --> 02:09:13,206
- are all Fibonacci numbers.
- 1475
- 02:09:16,290 --> 02:09:18,874
- This piece has three voices:
- 1476
- 02:09:18,874 --> 02:09:20,039
- the bass voice...
- 1477
- 02:09:25,874 --> 02:09:27,747
- The second voice
- played with the left hand.
- 1478
- 02:09:32,499 --> 02:09:34,415
- The first voice played
- with the right hand.
- 1479
- 02:09:34,415 --> 02:09:38,332
- That is called
- Cantus Firmus, or Cantu firmus.
- 1480
- 02:09:38,332 --> 02:09:42,497
- And together, these three voices
- create the polyphony.
- 1481
- 02:11:13,249 --> 02:11:16,541
- Well, if I should compare
- this with my story,
- 1482
- 02:11:16,541 --> 02:11:19,915
- it's reminiscent of
- a quality of nymphomania,
- 1483
- 02:11:19,915 --> 02:11:23,457
- which is normally ignored,
- but nonetheless essential,
- 1484
- 02:11:23,457 --> 02:11:27,121
- and namely the relationship
- between the various intercourses.
- 1485
- 02:11:29,749 --> 02:11:31,998
- That's interesting.
- 1486
- 02:11:31,998 --> 02:11:34,705
- They create a... a completeness?
- 1487
- 02:11:36,082 --> 02:11:38,415
- As, for example, the handshake,
- 1488
- 02:11:38,415 --> 02:11:41,666
- which for all people
- is the sum of
- 1489
- 02:11:41,666 --> 02:11:44,582
- all the different handshakes
- that together
- 1490
- 02:11:44,582 --> 02:11:47,957
- form our view
- of what a handshake is.
- 1491
- 02:11:47,957 --> 02:11:50,873
- The good, the bad handshake,
- 1492
- 02:11:50,873 --> 02:11:52,539
- the firm, the limp.
- 1493
- 02:11:54,582 --> 02:11:57,288
- Normally, a nymphomaniac
- is seen as...
- 1494
- 02:11:58,582 --> 02:12:00,622
- someone who can't get enough,
- 1495
- 02:12:01,541 --> 02:12:03,915
- and therefore, has sex
- with many different people.
- 1496
- 02:12:03,915 --> 02:12:05,624
- Well, that, of course, is true,
- 1497
- 02:12:05,624 --> 02:12:10,374
- but if I'm to be honest,
- I see it precisely as
- 1498
- 02:12:10,374 --> 02:12:14,996
- the sum of all these different
- sexual experiences.
- 1499
- 02:12:16,831 --> 02:12:20,955
- So in that way,
- I have only one lover.
- 1500
- 02:12:25,707 --> 02:12:28,541
- Since the music
- has three voices,
- 1501
- 02:12:28,541 --> 02:12:32,415
- I will limit myself to talking
- about three lovers.
- 1502
- 02:12:32,415 --> 02:12:36,247
- The bass is easy.
- That's F.
- 1503
- 02:12:36,831 --> 02:12:40,205
- F had a red car
- that he'd bought used.
- 1504
- 02:12:43,123 --> 02:12:44,415
- As I was having sex
- 1505
- 02:12:44,415 --> 02:12:48,582
- with seven or eight men
- every night at the time,
- 1506
- 02:12:48,582 --> 02:12:50,873
- scheduling was tricky.
- 1507
- 02:12:50,873 --> 02:12:53,873
- And they all had to have
- precise appointments.
- 1508
- 02:12:53,873 --> 02:12:56,915
- F was a good man.
- 1509
- 02:12:56,915 --> 02:12:59,624
- If he was scheduled
- for ten o'clock,
- 1510
- 02:12:59,624 --> 02:13:03,915
- he always showed up around nine
- and parked down in the street.
- 1511
- 02:13:03,915 --> 02:13:06,205
- I always smiled when I saw him.
- 1512
- 02:13:08,040 --> 02:13:11,706
- Often I took pity on him,
- and gave him a cup of coffee,
- 1513
- 02:13:11,706 --> 02:13:13,913
- although I was finishing
- with the one before.
- 1514
- 02:13:16,541 --> 02:13:20,040
- It's hard to say why I'm
- choosing to talk about F,
- 1515
- 02:13:20,040 --> 02:13:21,704
- but he was reassuring,
- 1516
- 02:13:22,249 --> 02:13:25,539
- and he knew exactly what
- I wanted when we had sex.
- 1517
- 02:13:26,457 --> 02:13:30,082
- No, I'd go even further,
- and say that there was
- 1518
- 02:13:30,082 --> 02:13:33,288
- a kind of telepathy going on
- when we had sex.
- 1519
- 02:13:34,374 --> 02:13:38,790
- Without words, he knew
- exactly what I wanted,
- 1520
- 02:13:38,790 --> 02:13:41,871
- where he should touch me
- and what he should do.
- 1521
- 02:13:43,540 --> 02:13:47,871
- The most sacred goal for F
- was my orgasm.
- 1522
- 02:13:48,748 --> 02:13:51,665
- Why? And then...
- 1523
- 02:13:51,665 --> 02:13:55,790
- the swans answered
- in the same voice.
- 1524
- 02:13:55,790 --> 02:13:57,915
- And granted him privileges
- 1525
- 02:13:57,915 --> 02:14:00,080
- none of the others received.
- 1526
- 02:14:06,665 --> 02:14:08,873
- F was the bass voice.
- 1527
- 02:14:08,873 --> 02:14:12,790
- Monotone, predictable
- and ritualistic.
- 1528
- 02:14:12,790 --> 02:14:14,748
- No doubt about it.
- 1529
- 02:14:14,748 --> 02:14:18,415
- But also the foundation
- that is so important,
- 1530
- 02:14:18,415 --> 02:14:21,538
- even if on its own
- it doesn't mean much.
- 1531
- 02:14:54,581 --> 02:14:56,496
- G was quite different.
- 1532
- 02:14:57,581 --> 02:15:01,329
- The only one I had to,
- and wanted to wait for.
- 1533
- 02:15:02,331 --> 02:15:05,915
- When he finally turned up
- and I opened the door,
- 1534
- 02:15:05,915 --> 02:15:08,290
- he didn't immediately enter,
- 1535
- 02:15:08,290 --> 02:15:11,249
- the way a cat doesn't
- when you let it in.
- 1536
- 02:15:11,249 --> 02:15:13,748
- As if,
- once the door is open,
- 1537
- 02:15:13,748 --> 02:15:15,871
- it has all the time
- in the world.
- 1538
- 02:15:22,748 --> 02:15:25,123
- But he was more
- than a cat.
- 1539
- 02:15:25,123 --> 02:15:28,246
- He was like some kind
- of jaguar, or leopard.
- 1540
- 02:15:29,623 --> 02:15:31,998
- He moved like them,
- 1541
- 02:15:31,998 --> 02:15:34,621
- which turned me on no end.
- 1542
- 02:15:45,373 --> 02:15:47,831
- When he laid down on my bed,
- 1543
- 02:15:47,831 --> 02:15:50,456
- it was clear to me that
- I should approach him,
- 1544
- 02:15:50,456 --> 02:15:52,329
- and not the other way round.
- 1545
- 02:15:52,915 --> 02:15:58,331
- And when I did touch him,
- it was with some hesitation,
- 1546
- 02:15:58,331 --> 02:16:01,748
- as his reactions
- were unpredictable.
- 1547
- 02:16:01,748 --> 02:16:04,746
- He was in charge.
- That's the way it was.
- 1548
- 02:16:55,206 --> 02:16:57,540
- Despite my success in managing
- 1549
- 02:16:57,540 --> 02:17:00,790
- the complicated logistics
- involved with arranging
- 1550
- 02:17:00,790 --> 02:17:04,289
- up to ten daily
- sexual satisfactions,
- 1551
- 02:17:04,289 --> 02:17:07,122
- while also having
- a full-time job,
- 1552
- 02:17:07,122 --> 02:17:10,498
- I was still prone to
- a certain sadness.
- 1553
- 02:17:10,498 --> 02:17:13,456
- So when my busy life
- allowed a few breaks,
- 1554
- 02:17:13,456 --> 02:17:15,746
- I used them
- to take my walks.
- 1555
- 02:17:16,748 --> 02:17:20,206
- These repeated walks
- became a kind of metaphor
- 1556
- 02:17:20,206 --> 02:17:23,287
- for my life.
- Monotonous and pointless.
- 1557
- 02:17:25,997 --> 02:17:29,704
- Yes, precisely like the
- movements of a caged animal.
- 1558
- 02:17:31,289 --> 02:17:34,079
- Basically, we're all waiting
- for permission to die.
- 1559
- 02:19:01,665 --> 02:19:03,162
- No.
- 1560
- 02:19:04,039 --> 02:19:07,039
- No, no, no. No, there...
- 1561
- 02:19:07,039 --> 02:19:09,789
- There are some completely
- unrealistic coincidences
- 1562
- 02:19:09,789 --> 02:19:11,454
- in your story about Jerome.
- 1563
- 02:19:13,664 --> 02:19:17,498
- First, by chance, he hires you as...
- As an assistant.
- 1564
- 02:19:17,498 --> 02:19:19,081
- And then you take a walk in a forest,
- 1565
- 02:19:19,081 --> 02:19:20,914
- and it's littered
- with photographs of him.
- 1566
- 02:19:20,914 --> 02:19:23,870
- And not only that... he's present.
- 1567
- 02:19:24,914 --> 02:19:29,622
- And then like a god,
- pulls you up to him through the clouds.
- 1568
- 02:19:29,622 --> 02:19:33,329
- So what?
- That's the way this story goes.
- 1569
- 02:19:34,122 --> 02:19:37,162
- And I'm the one telling it,
- and I know what happened.
- 1570
- 02:19:38,414 --> 02:19:40,329
- Do you want to hear it or not?
- 1571
- 02:19:43,872 --> 02:19:45,620
- Goodness gracious.
- 1572
- 02:19:57,747 --> 02:19:59,620
- What a strange way to meet.
- 1573
- 02:20:01,456 --> 02:20:02,454
- Yes.
- 1574
- 02:20:04,414 --> 02:20:06,456
- It's a very strange way.
- 1575
- 02:20:06,456 --> 02:20:09,039
- Jerome was there
- because he'd just had a fight
- 1576
- 02:20:09,039 --> 02:20:12,081
- with his wife, who in anger
- tore up the photographs
- 1577
- 02:20:12,081 --> 02:20:14,331
- they just had developed
- from their travels.
- 1578
- 02:20:14,331 --> 02:20:17,081
- I don't know if I can believe this.
- 1579
- 02:20:17,081 --> 02:20:18,830
- Which way
- do you think you'd get the most
- 1580
- 02:20:18,830 --> 02:20:20,373
- out of my story?
- 1581
- 02:20:20,373 --> 02:20:22,745
- By believing in it
- or not believing in it?
- 1582
- 02:20:23,914 --> 02:20:25,456
- Yeah, you're right.
- 1583
- 02:20:25,456 --> 02:20:27,120
- You might have a point
- with all this.
- 1584
- 02:20:31,248 --> 02:20:35,204
- The secret ingredient
- to sex is love.
- 1585
- 02:20:39,331 --> 02:20:42,204
- The third voice,
- the secret ingredient.
- 1586
- 02:20:43,122 --> 02:20:44,703
- Cantus Firmus.
- 1587
- 02:22:19,664 --> 02:22:22,954
- Fill all my holes.
- 1588
- 02:23:22,163 --> 02:23:23,413
- What's wrong?
- 1589
- 02:23:23,413 --> 02:23:26,121
- Hmm?
- 1590
- 02:23:26,121 --> 02:23:29,288
- - I can't feel anything.
- - Huh?
- 1591
- 02:23:29,288 --> 02:23:30,787
- I can't feel anything.
- 1592
- 02:23:33,622 --> 02:23:35,620
- I can't feel anything.
- 1593
- 02:23:37,872 --> 02:23:40,370
- I can't... anything.
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