Filbert Request

"Alright, time for the weekly weigh in!"

Stripped down to nothing but a pair of checkered boxer shorts, Filbert the squirrel got on the scale he had ordered from Nook 'n Go. The numbers began scrambling, and he closed his eyes in anticipation.

"Come on... come on...!"

Filbert opened his eyes, and let out a groan of frustration as he read the final number.

"250 pounds?! Aw, you've gotta be kidding me! I'm nowhere near ready for winter, bucko!"

Filbert sighed as he slumped over and stared down at his furry blue gut, which pooched out far enough to block his view of his stubby little feet. "Gosh, I'm really doing bad, aren't I? I should be ten- nah, twenty pounds heavier than this if I wanna hit my goal weight!"

Filbert's eyes drifted to the calendar on the wall, where today's date (October 15th) had a little note scribbled on it that read "Benchmark: 265+ lbs!" Sure, it was a mere fifteen pound difference from where he was now, but he only had a month and a half until Winter began, and at that point? He was shooting to hit the gigantic 400 pound mark, where he'd have ideally ballooned up in size to a big baby-blue blob that was perfectly optimized for keeping warm. Because of the minuscule amount of time left, every pound mattered and it wasn't a good sign if he was fifteen pounds behind.

"Well I'm totally doing something wrong... but what?" Filbert asked aloud as he turned to the mirror and grabbed his belly, jiggling it around which in turn caused his moobs to subtly quiver. "From sunrise to sunset, I gorge myself 'till I'm full to bursting! I drink fruit smoothies every day! I even eat two midnight snacks before going to bed! So why's my weight gain lagging behind, bucko?"

He turned around and looked down, then slapped his paws against his ample asscheeks. They were perfectly plump and soft enough for his fingers to sink into, but despite how tightly his underwear squeezed around them, it wasn't quite tight enough to make the seams tear even a little.

"Man... at this rate I'll never be big enough for winter!" he whined as he turned back around and sighed, his wobbly gut jiggling in perfect sync with his breathing. And for a few seconds he sat there, sulking as he beheld his woefully underfluffed form... until he was given a reality check by a deafening roar from his empty belly.

"Whoa! Down boy, down!" Filbert cried out as he pressed his arms to his snarling stomach, his already pink cheeks turning scarlet despite the fact that no one was around to hear it. "Geez, I guess it's time for breakfast, huh?"

His stomach growled out an agreement, and Filbert immediately waddled towards the kitchen. "Can't believe I was about to let myself go hungry like that!" he mused as he reached the fridge, "Come on Filbert, what's wrong with you?! You've gotta get your head in the GAME, bucko! You can't catch up if you just sit around and whine all day!"

First he opened up the refrigerator door and then the freezer, revealing plenty of fresh fruit, cartons of eggs, and gallon jugs of milk in the former, and tubs upon tubs of ice cream in the latter. "Hmm... guess I'll grab some fruit, then eat some ice cream. Then after that, fry some eggs and help myself to some cereal. I could also-"

Filbert stopped himself, and his eyes widened as a figurative lightbulb went off in his head. "Wait a second, what am I DOING?!" he cried as he looked around his home. "That's going to be a TON of walking around, bucko! Not even kidding: walking all the way back to my couch with this fruit, walking to the fridge and back again with my ice cream, walking to my fridge THEN my stove THEN my couch for lunch... that's why I'm not gaining weight fast enough: I'm getting too much exercise!"

Filbert chortled to himself now that he had isolated the culprit behind his weight woes, but... it wasn't enough to merely discover it. How was he going to fix it? Luckily, the gears turned in his normally foggy brain and he was already formulating a battle plan.

"Well, if I'm exercising because of all my walking, I've just gotta reduce the distance between my meals! And fixing that is pretty easy, All I've gotta do is just move all my stuff over to the couch! That way, I can just stand up and maybe take one or two little baby steps to get to the fridge or the microwave in between snacks! Filbert, you're a genius, bucko!"

As happy as could be, Filbert slapped a paw onto his lower belly and chuckled as it gurgled softly. "Of course, moving all my stuff is gonna be MORE exercise, but in the big picture? It all adds up to less extra walking, and more extra poundage! Ha, I'll be outgrowing my couch before I know it!"

And with that, Filbert went right to work. Thankfully, Nook's furniture was never too heavy to push, and positioning didn't matter since the cords for his electrical appliances were ridiculously long. Thanks to such user friendly design, even an animal as fat and lazy as Filbert could push his fridge, microwave, stove, and food-storing apple dresser over near his couch in the span of three minutes with relative ease. The stocky squirrel wiped the sweat from his fluffy brow and whooped gleefully in celebration.

"Whoo, three cheers for Filbert! Hip hip... nah, less hooraying, more gorging! Now let's see..."

Filbert pulled out a bowl of peaches and two gallons of ice cream. "I'll start with these, and work my way up! I oughta eat my way through all the sweet stuff by lunch, then I'll eat the cereal and more savory stuff during the rest of the day!"

Filbert stepped away from the fridge, and took a few small steps to his microwave before putting the ice cream tub inside. He warmed it up for a bit before removing it, turning it into a tub of what was basically strawberry soup.

"Heh, bottoms up!"

Filbert chugged the entire thing down, moaning in ecstasy as he swallowed the warm, slightly liquefied ice cream. Not stopping to take a break even once, he could feel his empty stomach expanding as he glutted himself more and more, with the top half of his doughy gut rounding out and growing firmer in shape. He polished off the entire tub, and belched loudly before throwing it aside and putting the next tub in the microwave. And while that one warmed up, he grabbed two peaches and devoured them in a food-crazed frenzy.

"Whoa my gosh, I think I'm starting to feel the pounds piling up!" Filbert gushed after tossing the remaining peach pits into a wastebasket at the arm of the couch. He squeezed the lower half of his stomach, and kneaded it around like a huge ball of dough while it happily squelched and churned. "Not even kidding, I think my tummy's getting softer! Feels like my butt's getting bigger too..."

He groped his asscheeks, and blushed as he kneaded them around as well. It was likely just a placebo effect that made him feel softer, but he at least felt a lot more confident than before. He celebrated by taking the next ice cream tub out of the microwave, this one being cookies and cream, and chugged it down as he would a milkshake while he started finding other ways to cut down on his pre-winter walking.

'Let's see...' he thought, 'I can have Nook deliver shipments of candy! That, and maybe have the mayor drop off food, fish and the like as well. Could I even sweet-talk him into cooking for me? Gosh, there are just so many possibilities, bucko! So many ways to gorge myself 'till I can't even walk..."

He finished the second tub, belting out another earth-shattering belch before tearing into more peaches. The gluttonous squirrel wasn't thinking too hard as he ate himself into a slowly-growing food coma, but one thought persisted in his mind: he was DEFINITELY going to be a blob by Thanksgiving at the earliest...