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Gilda wooing Anon with dead animals

shukaku20 May 9th, 2013 2,760 Never
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  1. >It's another perfect, sunny day in *CRUNCH!!!*
  2. >Stumbling back into your house, you look at your doorstep, and the now splattered mouse carcass on it.
  3. "What the..."
  4. "Thank Celestia I'm wearing shoes, or... *Shudder*"
  5. >Heading inside, you grab a disposable paper plate, since it's the only thing you'd let touch that.
  6. >As you carefully edge the dead rodent onto the plate, you miss the black tufted tail and predatory eyes staring down at your from a cloud overhead.
  7. >Carrying the plate back inside, you dump them both into the trash can before doing a quick clean of your shoe and floor.
  8. >With everything as it should you head out and off to work.
  9. ~~~
  10. >Barely able to contain your excitement, you bounce around on your cloud like a kitten.
  11. "He accepted the first one! This is going great!"
  12. >Watching him leave, you crouch down again.
  13. >It takes all your willpower not to jump him right now; a male like that needs to be courted properly.
  14. >At least, if any of what Dash told you about him was true.
  15. >Just watching, you swoon at how he moves with such fluid grace; the way his muscles ripple, barely concealed behind clothing.
  16. "It just makes him so mysterious and dangerous, I love it!"
  17. >As he walks into town, you hop off and fly towards the forest.
  18. "What should I bring him next? Another mouse is far too small, barely a bite sized morsel for a big, dangerous predator like him..."
  19. "Maybe I should leave it further out too, he probably didn't eat it after stepping on it..."
  20. >Ideas swirling in your head, you get ready to hunt.
  21. ~~~
  22. "Another fine day, another... dead animal on my doorstep."
  23. >This time, it's a tropical looking bird about the size of a small crow.
  24. >Like yesterday, you scoop it up with a plate before throwing it out.
  25. >At least this time you didn't step in it.
  26. "Why is something dropping off dead things on my door?"
  27. >Thinking back, you remember some of the reactions when you told the ponies you were omnivorous.
  28. "Ah, that might explain it... I guess I should ask around town."
  29. >A short and quiet walk later, and you're asking the ponies you pass.
  30. >"No, I'm sorry I don't know anything, but that's horrible."
  31. >By the fifth pony, you are fairly certain it's nobody’s doing, and you quickly head to work.
  32. ~~~
  33. "So far so good! He didn't step on it this time, but it still looks to small..."
  34. >From a distance it's hard to get a good idea of how big he is, but you're not ready to meet him either.
  35. "I know! Dash'll know how big he is, that way I can get the right sized gift."
  36. >Feathery brown wings spreading, you take to the air, heading straight for Dash's favourite napping spot.
  37. "Hey, Dash?!" you call out, landing on the cloud, "Are you here?"
  38. >From inside the cloud, that familiar cyan mare with the rainbow mane pops out.
  39. >"Hey Gilda, what's up?"
  40. "Not much bro, I just had a few questions."
  41. >"Shoot,"
  42. "How big is Anon? I've seen him around, but I've never been able to accurately judge."
  43. >"He's a bit smaller than a stallion, but damn can he go on and on. I've seen him turn Pinkie near comatose he's so good."
  44. "Not what I was asking Dash, get your head out of your muff."
  45. >"Oh, well, physically, he's about twice the height of a pony, and about double to three times as heavy. He's freaking tough too, I've seen him do one fifty on a bench press."
  46. "Wow..."
  47. >"Yeah, but he can't do many reps, so I think that's just his max. Why do you want to know anyways? You could just ask him yourself."
  48. "I... kinda don't trust him," you lie, trying to hide the twitch in your tail.
  49. >"Don't worry Gil, he may be a bigger predator than you, but he's a nice guy and one hell of a bro."
  50. "Alright Dash, well, I'll see you later."
  51. >With a wave, you jump off the cloud and head back to the woods to find your next gift.
  52. ~~~
  53. >Arriving home from work, you decide to take some preventative measures tonight.
  54. >Whoever or whatever is leaving dead animals on your doorstep needs to be found and sorted out.
  55. >It may have been a little over budget, but you picked up a whole bag of flour from the bakery.
  56. >Spreading it out across your sidewalk and porch in a thin sheet, you notice Dash heading over in the distance.
  57. >"Hey bro, why are you flouring your sidewalk? You making a pastry or something?"
  58. "Nah, I'm trying to figure out whatever it is that keeps leaving dead animals on my doorstep. With this, if they step in it, I'll have a track to work with."
  59. >"Someone's leaving you dead things on your doorstep?"
  60. "Yeah, but I'm not gonna let it bother me. So, you ready for tonight's movie?"
  61. >"Buck yeah bro! I've been waiting all week so we can finish the last "Monkey Massacre" movie."
  62. "These movies may have caused tons of shit for me when I got here, but damn if they aren't good."
  63. >Slipping in trough a window, Dash heads to set everything up while you finish outside.
  64. >With everything floured, you head inside, only to see Dash spread out on your couch, absolutely nothing hidden.
  65. "Dash, why are you airing yourself on my couch?"
  66. >"Well, where else am I supposed to do it? My house barely hides anything, and nop0ny comes out here. Besides, I know my bro isn't going to try anything."
  67. >"Plus, you have the best couch in town, it perfect for stretching on."
  68. >To prove her point, she pops her back in several places, and you have to turn away to hide your boner.
  69. >Stepping into the kitchen under the pretence of getting snacks, you throw your hands up in frustration.
  70. "Damn it Dash, Why do I have to be "a bro"; why can't you see I want us to be more..."
  71. >With a sigh, you pull out a bag of chips and a few drinks and head back, where Dash has the movie spooled up and ready to go.
  72. ~~~
  73. >Despite the fun night of movie watching and beer drinking, you wake up feeling slightly dissatisfied.
  74. >Probably just your body's way of saying "Go out there and get laid".
  75. >After that one party with Pinkie, your morals on not having sex with "horses" went out the window, and many mares have offered, but...
  76. "None of them cared beyond wanting a good fucking."
  77. >Going through your morning routine, you come to the front door, curious and at the same time dreading what may be on the other side.
  78. >Opening the door reveals... A rabbit, and a good sized one at that.
  79. >All around it, the flour is untouched; meaning what left it here was either a bird, or smart.
  80. >Picking the rabbit up by its ears, you look it over, and to your surprise, it looks in good condition.
  81. >Cause of death looks like a shattered spine, and there are no signs of decay.
  82. "Well, at least I can check it out this time."
  83. >Bringing it inside, you stuff it in your small freezer before heading out for the day.
  84. ~~~
  85. >Watching Anonymous carry your gift inside, you smile and feel a small leap in your heart.
  86. "He touched it! He carried it in his claws!"
  87. >Claws digging excitedly into the cloud, you suppress the urge to jump for joy.
  88. "Soon, I'll be able to give the final offering, and if he accepts that..."
  89. >Biting down on a talon, you find your mind wandering to thoughts of being together with him.
  90. >Having a big, strong man to help hunt the biggest and best prey.
  91. >Getting to watch his muscled body hauling the kill home.
  92. >Him, holding you close by a warm fire while he feeds you, piece by piece.
  93. >The chill of night creeping in, as he carries you to bed.
  94. >A hot night of passionate love you can barely imagine.
  95. "Ah, to be paired with such a male, it will be a dream come true."
  96. >With renewed determination, you take off into the jungle to look for a perfect final offering.
  97. ~~~
  98. >It's been six days since you first found a dead animal lying on your porch, and each day, there has been something bigger.
  99. >The first day, it was a mouse, the second, a bird.
  100. >A rabbit the third day, and what looked like a wooden fox on the fourth.
  101. >The fifth and six were both deer, which brings you to now.
  102. >Dreading what may lay beyond your door, you take a deep breath, close your eyes and swing it open.
  103. >Nothing.
  104. >There is nothing there.
  105. >Of all the possible outcomes, this was the one you least expected.
  106. >Walking out, you eye the spot where whatever would normally lay, but it remains bare.
  107. "Guess it's finally over."
  108. >Closing your door, you head into town where Dash awaits on your days off.
  109. >Hanging off a cloud, Rainbow Dash spots you well before you see her, and as you reach the park, she has stealthily moved the cloud on top of you.
  110. >With a swift kick, she dumps the cloud on you, leaving you soaking wet.
  111. >"Dude, I know I'm hot, but that's no reason to get so wet over me."
  112. "I'm not a girl, Dash. I don't get wet over you, you get wet over me."
  113. >"Huh?"
  114. >From within your shirt, you pull out a water balloon and whip it up at her and it ruptures all over her.
  115. >A moment of silence happens, the entire time you wear a smirk before the pair of you burst out laughing.
  116. >"That was, Ha-ha, a good one Anon," she says, floating down next to you.
  117. "Well, I can't be the only one who always gets soaked when we do this."
  118. >swerving around, Dash lazily air swims in front of you.
  119. >"So, what was it today; another deer?"
  120. "There was nothing."
  121. >Just like you, this answer shocks her, and she slips a bit in the air, catching herself just above the ground.
  122. >"Huh, I wonder why?"
  123. "Me too, but at least it's stopped."
  124. >"Yeah, let’s celebrate you not getting your porch messed by dead animals!"
  125. "Uh, how about we celebrate things going back to normal?" you ask looking around sheepishly.
  126. >Dash looks around as well, and sees some of the stares, and she nods, "Yeah, we can do that instead."
  127. ~~~
  128. >Everything is perfect.
  129. >Anonymous is out of the house, leaving you plenty of time to prepare.
  130. >Laying your masterpiece, the perfect final offering, on his porch, you step back to admire your handiwork.
  131. >It took days of training and tracking to find it, but you finally did.
  132. >An albino auroch; a rare and delicious beast.
  133. >Every gift has been accepted by him so far, and you pray he accepts this one as well.
  134. "And to get everything else ready..."
  135. >Ponies rarely lock their doors, and as it turns out, neither does Anonymous.
  136. >After a quick check to make sure nop0ny is around, you slip inside, and start looking around.
  137. >The place is pretty simple, sparsely decorated, but at the same time, homey.
  138. >It takes barely a minute to find what you are looking for, his bedroom.
  139. >This door, unfortunately, is locked.
  140. >Probing the lock with a talon reveals how complex it is, and affirms the idea that picking it is bad.
  141. >Further searching leads you to a few hidden keys, and of these, one of them opens the door.
  142. >Inside is similar to the rest of the house, plain, but homey.
  143. >Checking the window reveals it too has a lock, and after a bit of trial and error, you get the right key to unlock it.
  144. >It will be a key part of your plan, if he accepts.
  145. >Closing and locking the bedroom door as you leave, you put the keys back, and sneak out of his house.
  146. "Now, I just have to wait."
  147. ~~~
  148. >Having waved goodbye to Dash, you start the walk home, feeling both relaxed and tired.
  149. >On the outskirts of town, you see your house, and immediately recognize something is wrong.
  150. >A large, white mass sits on your porch, and you pick up the pace.
  151. >It's not quite a cow, but very similar.
  152. >And very dead.
  153. >The kill is still fresh, as faint warmth can be felt from it.
  154. >Looking around, searching for some sign of the thing that has been doing this, you see nothing.
  155. >Heaving the beast, you drag it inside, before hauling it into your basement.
  156. >Thanks to Celestia, you have a small, walk-in freezer in which to keep your meat supplies.
  157. >With some effort, you get the carcass inside, and close it.
  158. >Back upstairs, you pause in the kitchen to grab a bottle of beer before heading to your room.
  159. >Cracking it open, you get one good swig before you have to unlock the door.
  160. >Pushing it open and looking inside, the only sound heard in the next moment is the smashing of your bottle on the ground.
  161. ~~~
  162. "HE ACCEPTED!" you practically shout, hidden on top of your cloud.
  163. >The door to Anonymous's house having just closed, you quickly drop down to the ground, and peek in a window.
  164. >You can see Anonymous hauling the auroch down a set of stairs, and you quickly rush around back.
  165. >Prying open the window you unlocked, you close it quietly and clamber onto the bed.
  166. >This is further than you have ever come, looking for a mate, and anxiety wracks you, and at the same time, your heart beats like a drum playing a melody of love.
  167. >Giving yourself a quick onceover, you make sure everything is in place, and you hear the fridge open.
  168. >Shifting into the most seductive pose you feel comfortable doing, you wait as his footsteps get closer and closer.
  169. >There's a click as the door is unlocked, and it swings open.
  170. ~~~
  171. "I wonder why there was nothing today. Stuff like that doesn't just stop after a week," you ask yourself, doing a few pre-takeoff stretches.
  172. >Suddenly, everything clicks in your head.
  173. >Gilda's questions, the dead animals, the time frame.
  174. "Buck, I gotta stop Anon before anything happens!"
  175. >Wings kicking up a cloud of dust, you shoot down the road to Anonymous's place.
  176. >Skidding to a halt, you reach for the door, but are knocked aside by it instead, as Gilda rushes out, crying.
  177. >Before you can say anything, she takes off, heading straight for the Everfree.
  178. >Running inside, you bowl over Anon, and sit on his chest.
  179. "WHAT THE BUCK DID YOU DO!?" you yell at him, and he shrinks back a bit.
  180. >"I didn't do anything; she was lying in my bed when I went in."
  181. "What did you say? You must have said something; I've never seen Gilda like that."
  182. >"I said, what the fuck, before yelling at her to get out."
  183. "You have no idea what you did, do you? You just bucking shattered her heart."
  184. >"How... wha?"
  185. "I should have realized earlier. All those dead animals, her questions. She was trying to court you this whole time."
  186. >"Gryphons court with dead animals?"
  187. "Yeah, they bring them and leave them outside the target's home. If the target brings the gift inside, it means they accept it."
  188. "This goes on for six days, and on the seventh, they bring something special. If the target accepts this, the gryphon offers themselves to the other, and that's how they do it."
  189. >"So even though I threw some of them out, because I brought them inside..."
  190. "Yeah. I can't believe it... Gilda actually courting, and going all the way through..."
  191. >Focusing on him, you pull up his head to your level.
  192. "You HAVE to go apologize at the very least. I can't imagine how much you hurt her..."
  193. >"I'll go. Did you see which way she went?"
  194. "The Everfree. Now MOVE!"
  195. >Getting off him, you kick his flank out the door.
  196. ~~~
  197. >Running as fast as your tired body will carry you, you weave through the trees, heading deeper and deeper into the woods.
  198. >With such a head start, and with the size of the forest, finding her will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
  199. >Birds, squirrels and other animals are all over the place, their sounds doing nothing to help.
  200. >Straining, you hear a different sound, cutting through the others.
  201. >Crying.
  202. >Orienting on it, you approach its source, coming out into a clearing.
  203. >A stream cuts this particular clearing in half, and on the bank, you see her.
  204. >Slowing to a walk, you start across, when a twig snaps underfoot.
  205. >Her wings flare out and she spins around, and your eyes meet.
  206. "Wait!" you call out, holding up a hand as she is about to take off, "I... I need to say some things."
  207. >What, you're gonna say you were just toying with me, just like every other asshole in this damn country?"
  208. "No... I'm sorry."
  209. >Her wings poof out a bit and she shifts back, not expecting your response.
  210. "To tell you the truth, I had no idea anything was going on. I though it was just some jerk trying to make me feel bad for eating meat."
  211. >"So I did all that... for nothing?"
  212. "I wouldn't say so."
  213. >"How come?" she asks, genuinely curious.
  214. "I think what you did... It was touching. A little strange, but touching."
  215. "You went through so much work, even putting yourself in that last position all for me."
  216. "Nop0ny has ever done anything remotely close to that; they always just want a quick fuck."
  217. "You, on the other hand, you put your heart on the line; you put everything you had into it, and I fucked up. I'm sorry."
  218. >Lowering your head, you half expect her to punch or claw you, but instead, you feel her gently tilting your face up.
  219. >"There's nothing to apologize for, you didn't know. I'm just..."
  220. >Her head droops, and you feel a tugging in your chest.
  221. >Reaching out, you wrap an arm around her and pull her close.
  222. "I may have screwed up before, but I think I'd be willing to try; if you'll have me, that is?"
  223. >Closing the gap, she rubs her head under your chin, replying, "Yeah, we can still try."
  224. >For what feels like the first time here in Equestria, a spark of love ignites in your heart.
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