feeling a bit better than last monday, though not much has developed since then. i'm still looking for a job and i've (once again) expanded my job search to outside of my degree's field. i try to put out around 5 applications a day, but it doesn't seem to produce anything. i've got a masters in college student personnel administration which i unfortunately regret getting. a bit ago i worked with my undergrad university's career adviser to revamped my resume in the hopes of generating more response, instead of literally nothing. so far it's still produced literally nothing, and it's been difficult to stay positive when i went like $30k into debt for this degree only so i could not get a job anywhere. i'm trying to move out and each day that goes by where i don't, my parents blame me for either not doing enough or not having a sense of urgency - which is really frustrating because it's not up to me if i get an interview somewhere or if that place will offer me a job. i can apply all i want, but someone needs to give me a chance, yet somehow it's my fault that some HR department doesn't decide to give me an interview. the new suggestion is to start volunteering someplace long enough until they offer me a job. i dislike this line of thinking because it means i have to work for a place for free in the hopes that maybe they'll start paying me eventually - i already have plenty of experience from my degree's mandatory 2 internships i already completed.

seems like if you ask anyone with a job how they ended up in that job, they eventually sum it up with "it just kind of all fell into place" whether it be a "i thought id move here for 2 years and now its been 10" or "this was a temp job while i worked on my true project but now 10 years later i'm still at the temp job" or the ultra rare "this is what i wanted and i got it and now i'm still doing it." i hope things fall into place for me over the next like 2 months.

in terms of speedgames, vtmb 100 is coming along nicely. for every issue i've encountered there has been a solution. last stream was routing chinatown, which was not as awful or tricky as i suspected. soon i'll have to make some decisions on what it means to complete a quest however - it seems that by doing a certain skip, i can finish the gangrel murderer quest early, but this involves skipping several other quests - i can just not take them, as it's not apparent that they are connected at the beginning. however, given the "all possible quests" stipulation for this category, i may need to actually finish these which means i might screw things up finishing the quest early. i don't want a quest sitting incomplete or just not taken in a "100%" category. a similar situation arose with romero in the hollywood cemetery quest, where you can sleep with him and skip doing either the zombie 5 minute quest, or getting him a hooker. however, sleeping with him yourself doesn't actually complete any quests - getting him the hooker does, so i chose to get him the hooker (which is faster than doing the zombie quest) because then i get a quest completed, rather than not getting the quest at all. for consistency, i think i'll need to complete the quests leading up to fighting the gangrel even though you can finish the quest right away, but it feels lame unlike romero's quest, where at some point you just need to talk to any prostitute and send em over.

regardless of how that progresses, i'm now near the end game. i don't know what ending i'll get and i hope fighting the werewolf isn't really terrible. should be a fun couple of routing streams before i can try and piece it all together into a real route.

my chat has been really helpful during these routing streams, so thanks for that <3