Faking it till they make it

>You are Anon Y Mous, master of the mystic arts, purveyor of the uncanny, magician extraordinaire!
>You are a powerful mage, capable of children's birthday parties, school assemblies and even CORPORATE EVENTS!
>At least you used to be.
>Until you got your ass warped right into magical horse land.
>Everyone and their fucking mother's got magic here.
>Not that you'd let that stop you.
>You're showing a card trick to the local librarian and her lizard boy servant.
>Not your place to judge people for their kinks.
>Apparently this "Twilight" character is some big magic expert.
>You fan the deck out for her.
"Pick a card, madame!"
>She looks unamused.
>"I still don't see how this is supposed to be 'magic.'"
>Her boy slave looks like he's having the time of his life, though.
>"C'mon, just go with it!"
>"Fine!"
>She takes one.
>You turn your head away so as not to peek at the card.
"Memorize your card please, then stick it anywhere in the deck."
>She does so.
>You shuffle for a few seconds then stop.
"Ma'am, I don't appreciate being stolen from."
>She looks offended.
>"Excuse me I-"
>You cut her off by putting a hand behind her ear and producing the 4 of clubs.
>You give her a deadpan look.
"Then why was your card hidden behind your ear?"
>"That's not magic, it's just creative movements and tricks!"