Dear Elle,

I just wanted to tell you that you’re such a smart, kind, and loving woman, and I know what it’s like to be in that dark place, where you feel like you’re useless and no good to anyone alive.

But that feeling is wrong, Elle, you’re anyone but that.  I treasure every day we’ve spent together and I know that you deserve better than any harm that comes your way.

I promise I’ll protect Angus for you.  He’s hurting after Friday, but I’m here for him, and I’ll support him like you guys have supported me.

And I promise I’d come rescue you first, so you better get ready!

Your Friend,
Spongebob Squarepants