Sphinx

	I swear, upon all that is divine and powerful, I'm gonna get back at her.

	At least, that's what I keep telling myself. It isn't easy living in Monstergirl City, especially when the one in control of your home is one of the most dangerous types of monster out there. Her name is Kafele Sebek-Tetu, and she's a Sphinx. Right now, you may be wondering, "Where's she from?", or "What does her name mean?" Word of advice: Don't even bother asking. She only replies with riddles, and getting those wrong would probably be less than ideal if you don't want to be late for work. Oh, I won't deny how nice it is, but you'll realize how awful it is once you explain to your boss in post-orgasm bliss that you got swindled by a dune-hopping half-feline landlord into passionate over-the-counter sex for answering a cryptic question. And the skimpy outfits she wears hardly seem work-appropriate. It's always either a bikini swimsuit, or a tank-top with some weird logo on it, and short-shorts. Women like her are the reason I keep whiskey in my bathroom cabinet.

	What really pisses me off is how she never gives me a straight answer to any question I might have. For instance, if I ask, "How much do I owe you for rent this month?", she'll reply, "One-thousand eighty-two fish are swimming in an aquarium tank. Three hundred die, fourty-six swim away, and twenty-seven drown. How many are left?"

	Of course, her riddles tend to be more complex than this, somewhere around the level of Plato's impossible story. But, if I somehow get it wrong, or I don't answer at all, something compells me to let her have her way with me. Since I can't legally explain how this works in court, it puts my job at risk. I've asked her to stop many times, but she always just gives me a smug glance. So, I've decided to stop asking her anything altogether.

	However, I realize that this is only delaying the inevitable. I need something that will stop her from casting these curses.

	I decided to keep my eye on her after work, and on my days off. In the summer, she hangs around the community pool, sunbathing for hours at a time in a floral-pattern bikini that I would hardly consider tasteful. With all of her fur, I find it hard to believe she can get comfortable in this heat.

	A resident approaches her, a man about my height and build, but with a far more disheveled appearance.

	"Hey, uh, can I get a new lock?" The hippie asks. "The old one is starting to come loose."

	"Yeah, sure, I'll make the call when I get back to the office."

	"Thanks." He mumbles, before walking off.

	After a few more minutes of spying, a young red-haired woman strolls by. "Hey Kaffy, wanna go to Club Cleo later? I just got a raise, so the drinks are on me!" She offers with a radiant energy you don't often see in people these days.

	"No, I have plans for tonight." Kafele shoots her down without even glancing in her direction.

	"'Kay. The offer still stands, if you ever end up in that part of town." The spunky lady shrugs before carrying on.

	A few more visitors show up, and I begin to notice a trend. No matter who demands her attention, or what they ask of her, she always responds concisely, and without any hint of curiosity. I had never known Kafele beyond her boundless knowledge and application of riddles. In a way, I wished she would be this simple with me.

	The sun finally begins to set. Kafele stretches and yawns before rolling off her beach chair. I pretend to play with my phone as she walks back toward her appartment.

	But, she takes a detour around the pool for no apparent reason. She passes by the bathroom, the trash bins, the showers, and stops at the table I'm sitting at. I keep pretending to be disinterested, but I can see her staring at me in the reflection of the dimly-lit screen of my phone.

	"Awful long time to spend at the pool without swimming." Kafele remarks.

	"I needed some fresh air." I explain.

	A crescent smirk slowly begins to wax across her cinnamon skin. "You were watching me, weren't you?"

	I wasn't ready to answer that question, but the familiar feeling of her hex beating inside my heart made me spit out an answer out of fear. "Yeah. You caught me."

	She suddenly huffed out a sigh. "Why would you do something like that? Are you some kind of creep?"

	Suddenly, something clicked. Reply correctly, and you won't get cursed, I thought to myself. "I wanted to see if there was a way to stop you from asking questions. If that makes me creepy, then that's how it is." I blurted out without thinking.

	"Gh-!" She choked on her own breath, gritting her fangs against one another. Her tan was slowly turning red in frustration. "Name an eight letter word that has k-s-t in the middle, in the beginning, and at the end!"

	I took a moment to process her question, before realizing it was a simple trick. "Inkstand. In, the beginning, k-s-t, the middle, and, the end. That one was a bit easy, don't you think?" I smirk, admittedly proud of myself for figuring it out.

	"Hauuuu!" She cries. "I-I-I have cities, but no houses. I have m-m-mountains, but-" she coughs, "mountains, but... Agh!" She suddenly jumps toward me, and I reflexively get out of the way. She crashes and slides against the wet, smooth tiles.

	"What the hell was that for?!"

	Without warning, she pounces toward me again. I dive to the side, narrowly avoiding the high-speed colision. She lands on her hands and feet, ready to jump once more, but I'm already running. She starts sprinting after me, closing the gap between us faster than I could think about where I was headed. I ran up a flight of stairs, skid as I made the turn toward my apartment, charged through the door, slammed it shut, locked it, dead-bolted it, slid its chain lock into place, and braced myself against it. The door rattled and wailed against me as I desperately tried to hold back the beast on the other side.

	"Come on! We're not done yet!" She howled, before slamming the door hard enough to bust the knob and deadbolt open. She then pries the door open far enough to grab the chain with her paw. "What's this? Did I give you permission to install this?"

	"It's a chain lock, and no. I bought it to prevent situations like this from happening."

	"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but," she slices open the chain with her claw like a claymore sword against sewing thread, "it wasn't a wise investment. Now, open the door, before I hurt you."

	I slam into the door with my shoulder, forcing it shut. I can hear her crying in distress as she falls over. I run to grab a chair to prop against the door, when suddenly the door swings wide open, punching a massive hole in the drywall. I tried to leap through the nearby window, but Kafele blindsided me with a tackle, and dragged me to the cheap, shaggy carpet.

	"It looks like I got what I wanted anyway. It was fun while it lasted, though. I like it when you put up a fight."

	"So, what now? I hope you aren't going to leave the door open while you do this." I joke.

	"Maybe I will. It wouldn't hurt to let the neighbors know who owns you." She chuckled.

	Someone moves through the doorway, and clears their throat. “Miss Tetu, what are you doing?”
	Kafele launched off of me with an “Eeep!”

	Standing in the doorway was  woman around 1.5 meters tall, with dog-like ears and tail, wielding an ornate staff far taller than she could ever hope to be. Her taste in fashion was remarkably refined, with a business suit that accentuated her lack of curves. She wore a scarab necklace, and a tiara that looked like a couple of golden snakes tied in a knot.

	“Anubis?” I remark, bewildered.

	“My title is none of your concern, fool.” The Anubis growled.

	“Hey, you can't talk to him like that!” Kafele hissed.

	“You dare speak out of line?” The Anubis readied her staff.

	“H-hey, I was just standing up for the tenant. He's a valued customer, y'know?”

	The Anubis shoots a suspicious glance my way. “And why is that, Kafele?”

	Kafele suddenly began to shake. “O-oh, we're using my first name, now?”

	She turns her attention back toward Kafele. “You seem to be rather fond of him. I believe a more casual conversation is appropriate. Do you not agree, Kafele? Or should I call you 'Kaffy'?”

	“Y-you're creeping me out, Nenet.”

	“Oh, am I? Do explain to me how I'm the creepy one in this situation, after I've walked in on an attempted sexual assault.”

	“Can I speak up for a bit?” I ask with the utmost politeness.

	“Open your mouth again, and I will curse you into permanent silence.” Nenet barked, pointing her staff dangerously close to my face.

	“Hey, Nene?” Kafele interjected with a smirk.

	“I would appreciate it if you never called me that again, Tetu.”

	For a brief moment, there was a glimmer in Kafele's eyes. Not like a shining star of hope, but the brief glimmer of a devil's pitchfork. With a grin that would scare a Cheshire Cat into silence, she asked, “Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?”

	Nenet glared at Kafele. “You-!” She huffed, but caught herself before she could complete a response. After regaining her composure, she replied. “None of them. The dictionary is a guide to spelling and pronunciation, you fool.”

	Kafele's impossibly wide smirk grew into a radiant beacon of cocksure cruelty. “Oh, really? Then what does I-N-C-O-R-R-E-C-T-L-Y spell out?”

	“Incorre-” The fury in Nenet's eyes lit up the room. “You'll be hearing from me soon, Tetu.” She muttered before storming out of the room.

	“You know she's going to kill you, right?” I sigh, staring worriedly at Kafele.

	“For the record—Nobody is allowed to boss you around but me, got it?”

	Kafele was still beaming that smug grin, but the way she looked at me betrayed her playful expression. It was as if every shadow on earth was coalescing in side of her. I swallowed my pride, if only to ease the malice of the demon before me. “O-ok.” I mutter.

	“Ugh, that bitch ruined the mood. Sorry, we'll have to continue this later.” Kafele sighed.

	“Right.”

	Kafele made a casual exit, and I set every single lock I could as I closed the door behind her. I guess I'll get that hole patched up tomorrow.

	I took a long, cold shower before getting ready for bed. Hopefully, Nenet will set Kafele straight, and I'll be able to rest easy. Until then, I'll lull myself to sleep with the local channels.

	The next morning, I wake up to an uncomfortable staleness in the air of my apartment. I open up a few windows, and brew a pot of coffee as the fresh air makes its way inside. It's oddly serene today. I don't hear the rumble of car motors, or the murmur of crowds as they make their way down the busy intersections.

	As I'm pouring out a cup of coffee, someone knocks at the door. I run to answer it, cautiously peeking through the crack before opening it all the way. It's Nenet.

	“Good morning, er...” I murmur.

	“Good morning.” She replies. “I don't believe we've had a proper introduction. I am Nenet, assistant to the lead manager of this complex, and many others. What is your name?”

	I told her my name, although I intentionally mispronounced it in the event that she would use it in some horrible curse.

	“Really? With a 'Q'? Humans really are getting creative these days.” She giggled to herself. I honestly had no idea that she was even capable of genuine, non-evil laughter. “I apologize for the events that transpired last night. Kafele struck a nerve, and I acted unprofessionally in response.” She holds out a clipboard toward me. “I'm afraid Kafele will have to suffer disciplinary action for her transgressions against you. Please, sign this waiver.”

	The waiver in question was written entirely in hieroglyphs. At least, I think they're hieroglyphs. It could've been written in Wingdings, and I'd be none the wiser. “Could you translate it for me?”

	“Certainly. It says, 'I,' your name goes in the blank here, 'verify that I have been assaulted more than eighty times in the past two months, and agree to whatever punishment is deemed fit for the crimes of Ms. Kafele Sebek-Tetu.' It goes into further detail about her punishment on the next two pages, but that is not relevant to you.”

	“Can I ask what the punishment will be?”

	“One-hundred strokes of the cane, immolation in demonic fire, and a curse of up to twenty-five years.”

	“Isn't that a bit severe?”

	“Perhaps. Maybe I will shorten the curse's duration to ten years, if her behavior improves. However, monster-on-human crimes are to be met with an appropriate punishment. Especially repeated offenses with a specific target. My sentence is perfectly reasonable.”

	“Alright.” Although I didn't agree with her punishment, it was probably for the better. I still hadn't gotten over the strain Kafele created on my personal life. I signed the papers, albeit with my fake moniker.

	“Your cooperation is appreciated. Sorry for troubling you.”

	“It's nothing.”

	Nenet leaves with clipboard in hand, forgetting to take her pen back from me. It's awfully expensive-looking, with a fine walnut wood used for the barrel and cap. Unfortunately, she was already down the stairs by the time I realized what had happened. I reasoned that it'd be awkward to make her run back up the stairs for a pen, so I pocketed it, hoping that I'd see her again later in the day, and return it to her.

	Later that afternoon, I received an automated email, telling me that I was still a hundred dollars short on rent. I walked over to the front office, and braced myself for a bad time before pushing open the door.

	“W-welcome! What can I do for you?”

	Kafele was sitting perfectly upright on the counter, without any trace of her formerly smug attitude. She even greeted me with a perfectly normal question.

	“I need to make a payment.”

	“Oh. We have an online service for that now. Would you like me to register you for it?”

	“No need. I'd probably forget the password, anyway.”

	This was a lie. I just didn't want to trust a company run by monsters with my debit card information. Say what you want about prejudice, but my experiences have never let me down.

	“Alright. How will you be paying?”

	“Cash.”

	“O-okay.”

	Something about the uncomfortable look in Kafele's eyes made me feel sympathy pains for her. Not that I actually pity her, or anything. It's her own damn fault that it happened. Still, I couldn't help asking.

	“Are you alright?”

	“Yeah. Just doing my job!”

	Her false enthusiasm killed any chance of delivering that line properly.

	“Really? Cause I heard from a blonde girl that Nenet was gonna curse you.”

	“Oh, she did. My magic doesn't work on people anymore, so you don't have to worry about answering any questions. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble.”

	You better be. You almost ruined my life. At least, that's what I thought I wanted to say.

	“It's alright. I figured that you just, y'know... liked me.”

	“Don't tell me that.” I caught the glimmer of a tear in her eye before she furiously wiped it away with her paw. “Anyway, we should start over. Just pretend that I'm a boring, typical landlady.”

	After everything I'd been through with her, I don't think it's possible. I hate her, I swear I do, but I also don't want to forget her.

	“Can we still be friends?”

	I'm such an idiot.

	“Umm...” Kafele fidgeted in her chair for a moment. “I don't know. It's dangerous.”

	“How so? You can't cast a spell on me anymore, right?”

	“It's not you, or me. It's the curse.”

	“The curse stops you from making friends?”

	“No! It's just, ugh!” Kafele punched herself in the leg. “Look, I can't tell you about it here.”

	“Then let's meet up somewhere. How about that burger joint down the road?”

	“What?”

	Honestly, I had no idea myself.

	“We could meet up there tonight, and talk this out informally. That way, you're not at risk.”

	“Okay. I really need to get it off my chest, anyway.”

	I handed her the cash, and made my way back to my apartment. I was frustrated with myself, but I couldn't avoid feeling guilty for what happened. Maybe talking it out would be the best thing for both of us. Besides, it's not like I had anything better to do.
	I passed the time by catching up on some television shows I liked as a kid. It's weird seeing an all-human cast in this day and age, but I still like it just as much as I like anything else on air today. However, I had difficulty paying attention to what was happening on-screen. I couldn't get Kafele out of my head. It's kind of pitiful for me to say this, but she was the closest thing I had to a friend since moving here. I probably need to see a therapist.

	Eventually, the moon came out, and it was time for me to get it all over with. I walked down the busy streets of downtown Monstergirl City, stopping in front of the burger-shaped handles of a double-door. I made my way inside, where Kafele was waiting for me in a booth. I sat across from her, and started asking questions.

	“So, what happened?”

	“Well, first she hit me with her staff, then I got roasted with magic, and now I'm cursed. The curse makes me really, really sensitive to things. It's awful. Everything feels like it's groping me when I touch it, and I can hear little things like breathing, and heart beats. I've also been running a mild fever, and haven't stopped sweating at all.”

	“Sounds harsh.”

	“That's not even the worst part. Every time I look at you, my body starts shaking, and I feel this weight on my chest that makes it hard to breathe. All I can think about is forcing myself on you. Sometimes, just thinking about you sets it off.” Tears start welling up in her eyes. “The worst part is, even if we become friends, this will only get worse. I might pounce on you again.”

	She was starting to press on that soft spot every girl-loving guy has in his heart, the one reserved exclusively for damsels in distress. It was infuriating. How could I put myself in her shoes, after everything she did? Was I an enabler? Even as I was mentally punching myself in the gut, I ended up asking:

	“Is there anything I can do?”

	What a fool I am.

	“There's nothing. Nenet has a contract that states you will testify in court in the event of another issue. But, I know you didn't sign it. She signed your name with a 'Q'.”

	“Sounds pretty dumb to me.”

	“She's always like this. Always willing to play mommy's little dictator with everyone else in the royal family. Ruining the fun like it's her job, or something. I swear, upon all that is divine and powerful, I'm gonna get back at her.”

	“Well, she did forge a document.”

	“She did, didn't she? Maybe I should talk to the Pharaoh.”

	“About what, if you don't mind me asking?” Nenet made herself known from another table.

	“That you lied. If there's one thing Her Highness hates more than assault, it's fraud.”

	Nenet takes a seat nest to me, brushing her fuzzy calf against my leg. “Oh no, I assure you that he did sign that sheet personally. He was really, really upset about what you did. Why else would he agree to a 25-year curse?” She turns to me with a demented grin. “Isn't that right?”

	“I don't know what you're talking about.” I muttered, avoiding all eye contact with her.

	“Oh, come on. Don't play dumb.” She leans into me, forcing me into an awkward position inside the booth. “We even had a chat about it this morning. I'm sure he remembers. If not, then what's inside his pants will.”

	“Inside his pants?” Kafele had a dazed look in her eye, as if completely lost in thought.

	Nenet pressed me against the wall of the booth. “Isn't that right, sir? Why don't you go ahead and pull it out for us? Or do I have to do it for you?”

	“P-pull it out?!” Kafele stammered, letting a trickle of drool run down her mouth.

	“Yes. It's my personal property, after all.” Nenet cooed.

	“Alright, alright, I get it!” I exclaim, pulling the expensive pen out of my back pocket. “This is what you meant, right?”

	“Exactly. Kafele, this is my favorite pen. What do you think he was doing with it in his pocket?”

	Kafele was eerily quiet.

	“Of course, he didn't sign the paperwork with his real name, so I guess it's invalid. Kafele Sebek-Tetu, I hereby renounce your curse. As for you, Mister 'Q'...” She held a claw to her lips and winked. “I don't think I'll need to punish you. Enjoy your meal.”

	With that, Nenet left. Kafele was completely silent, with her head hung low. I decided to use this as an opportunity to escape.

	“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” I said, crawling out of the booth. I calmly walked to the bathroom, stood on one of the sinks, and pried open a small window to crawl through. As I pulled myself through the window, I slipped on a rather slick windowsill, sending me tumbling down into a patch of astroturf. Knowing that she would easily find me if I ran back to the apartment, I cut through heavy traffic to stop by a motel on the other side of the road.

	“Oh my, you're all sweaty. What happened?”

	The receptionist was eerily curious about my situation. “I don't really feel like explaining.  How much for a room?”

	“Ooooh, a mystery? Did you get caught doing something naughty?”

	“Listen, I don't have time for this-”

	“On the run, too?! Don't worry, we'll keep you nice and safe.”

	“How much?”

	“A hundred. But for you, I'll take fifty.”

	“You serious?”

	“Mm-hmm!” She nods with a smile bright enough to blind a bat twice over. I hand her the money, and she tosses me a key. “Any luggage?” She asks as I'm turning away.

	“Nope.”

	“Oh? Then what are you going to do with those sweaty, smelly clothes of yours? A-are you gonna go to the laundromat in the nude?”

	It was at that moment that I realized the receptionist had a pair of thin, brown antennae protruding from the top of her head. This was a goddamn roach motel. I had already committed to this mistake enough, though. There was no turning back.


	I quickly made my way to my room, and hid inside. I shut the blinds, closed the curtains, locked the doors, covered the air vent with a table, and sat down in the half-decent bed. This wasn't home, but it would have to do, for now.

	The motel room was eerily clean, as one would expect. After all, devil bugs feed on filth. Perhaps the low maintenance costs is what keeps the rent so cheap. I flipped on the television to some local channel, and watched a documentary on curling. Who knew adding little bumps to an ice rink would make such a difference in friction. Wait, what am I talking about, again?

	Half an hour later, the phone rings. I don't pick it up. It rings again. I get anxious, and pick it up, despite knowing better.

	“Hello?”

	“Hi! This is the receptionist. There's a woman looking for you in the lobby.”

	“I'm... I'm not expecting anyone. Don't tell her I'm here.”

	“Oh my, did you cheat on her?”

	“You're getting this all wro-”

	“Is that why you're sweaty?! She caught you in the act, right when you were about to...” She starts breathing heavily into the receiver. “So that's why you were sweaty, huh? I bet it smells like hormones.”

	“Please, stop.”

	“Hey, when they both break up with you, give me a call, ok? I'll keep you company.”

	I hung up the phone, and sat silently, unable to focus on the TV.

	Someone knocked on the window.

	“Hey, are you there? We need to talk.”

	That was Kafele's voice. She was trying her hardest to sound pleasant, but all that came out of her mouth was an off-pitch monotone. I remained silent.

	“So you really are hiding. That means you know what you did. So, open the door.”

	I really, really don't want to.

	“Open. The. Door. I won't repeat it again. You have five seconds. Five.” Her tone shifted from false friendliness, to sheer rage.

	So, this is it, huh?

	“Four.”

	This is the way I'm going to die.

	“Three.”

	I always thought I'd live a bit longer, but,

	“Two.”

	I guess I may as well get this over with.

	“One.”

	I open the door. Kafele's eyes are burning a hole through my retinas. “Kafele, I'm sorry.”

	She seemed stunned by my apology. I kept talking, against my better judgement.

	“For the longest time, I've only had revenge on the mind. I thought you were just a bully, who enjoyed picking on humans, just because you were a monster. I should've realized sooner how wrong I was.”

	“The hell are you talking about?”

	“At the pool, you didn't fire a riddle off at anybody, and you were watching me the whole time. Then, Nenet mentioned something about a “specific target”. Which means, even if you did try to curse someone else, it was never with the same intent as you would with me. I should've had it figured out by then, but then we talked at the front desk. You cried when I mentioned how I thought you liked me. It was all so obvious that I'd done something horrible, and I still thought I was in the right. So, go ahead. I deserve this.”

	She pushed me aside, and walked into the room, shutting the door behind her. “Strip down.”

	“D-do I really have to be naked for this?”

	“You already said you deserve this, so we're doing this however I want to.” She grunted as she pulled off her tank-top.

	“Why are you getting naked?” I said, as I removed my clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor.

	“You really are oblivious, aren't you?”

	“A bit, yeah.”

	“Usually, I either force myself on you, or you force yourself on me.”

	“That's because you curse me into it.”

	“Right. So, for your punishment, we're going to do it the normal way. Like a couple should.”

	“Wait, you're not going to kill me?”

	“Why would I? I love you. And you love me, too.”

	“I never said I did.”

	“Do you need to?” She laughed to herself. “Besides, it's not like I didn't do anything wrong myself. So, let's make it up to each other.

	For my pride, this was worse than death. But, it's a fitting punishment. “Alright, I'll take the lead.”

	“Excuse me? This is your punishment, y'know. From here on out, I own you. Now, stick out your tongue.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

	After that, Kafele and I started dating. We would share the apartment I was living in, and since she was the owner of the property, I was essentially living rent-free. She found out about my job, and started dropping by on my lunch breaks, usually up to no good. Not that I had anything to complain about. I guess her mischievous side finally started growing on me.

	A couple of years later, after many nights spent under the covers with her, she told me she was pregnant.

	“Really? That's great!” I exclaimed.

	“Yeah, but...”

	“What?”

	“Well, you better take responsibility for this.”

	“About that...”

	There was a rattling at the door. “Kafele? This is Nenet. I have urgent business to speak with you about.”

	“Ah! One moment, I need to get dressed!”

	Kafele scurried over to the closet, while I opened the door for Nenet, who had her head cocked, staring at me with a grin smug enough to put a gambler to shame. “Are you sure about this? She's quite a handful. I can only imagine the ruckus her child will bring about.” She says, handing me her clipboard, and signature pen.

	“I don't think I could back down, even if I wanted to.” I sign the form on her clipboard, and she glances over the signature. “No 'Q' this time? You really are serious.” She chuckles to herself.

	Kafele runs up to the door behind me. “Did I forget to do something again, Nene?”

	“Yes. This is probably the first time I've ever seen you not take the initiative. Is having a man in your life that much of a distraction?”

	“N-no! Anyway, what is it?”

	“Here.” Nenet hands her the clipboard.

	As Kafele glances over the form, I take a knee, and take a box out from my back pocket.  Kafele goes wide eyed after seeing what the form is, and her glittering eyes dart over to me, with the box open in my hands. Her face goes cherry red, and she hides herself behind the clipboard as she scribbles her signature on it.

	As I thought – A ring really could look pretty on a paw.

------------------------------------END

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