[22:49:47] <Ramc> but ninjas
[22:50:01] <FinST> couchpooping?
[22:50:10] <silentsky> couchpooping...?
[22:50:12] <Ramc> vampires cant poop
[22:50:20] <Ramc> did you not tell her about ninjadyne
[22:50:30] <silentsky> is that a compound word you just randomly plop down in polite conversation?
[22:50:42] <Ramc> silentsky please sit right back
[22:50:45] <Ramc> and you'll hear a tale
[22:50:54] <Ramc> a tale of a faithful shit
[22:51:16] <silentsky> I take it this was a literal faithful shit
[22:51:32] <silentsky> which I suppose is somehow better than a faithless shit
[22:51:33] <Ramc> sometimes people you meet on the internet, silentsky, playing dumb online rpgs, are cool and good irl
[22:51:34] <Ramc> like me
[22:52:09] <silentsky> but
[22:52:41] <Ramc> sometimes, silentsky, they get drunk at a party at your house, get handsy with your female friends and :accepts envelope from a man in a suit, opens it and reads the card therein: poop on your couch
[22:52:46] <Ramc> ken knows this
[22:52:52] <Ramc> ken knows this first
[22:52:53] <Ramc> hand
[22:53:17] <silentsky> what
[22:53:19] <silentsky> no
[22:53:22] <Pere> i will add that the party was not at ken's house
[22:53:27] <silentsky> naaaah
[22:53:37] <Pere> and that i had to transport the drunk individuals in question to ken's house
[22:53:46] <Pere> where the couch incident did then occur
[22:53:58] <Ramc> it's real
[22:53:59] <silentsky> but wait why did you transport the individual to Ken's house?
[22:54:03] <silentsky> Did you not like Ken at the time?
[22:54:19] <Ramc> weaponized
[22:54:20] <Pere> because the indivuals were staying with ken for the weekend
[22:54:39] <Pere> it was just that the party we all attended was elsewhere
[22:54:42] <silentsky> Ken you let strange online RPers stay at your house for the weekend?
[22:54:56] <silentsky> hats off for bravery
[22:54:58] <Pere> oh ahaha we should have been more explicit about that
[22:54:59] <Kestrel> let the record reflect
[22:55:00] <Kestrel> that
[22:55:01] <Pere> yes
[22:55:02] <Kestrel> I
[22:55:04] <Kestrel> FUCKING
[22:55:06] <Kestrel> WARNED
[22:55:08] <Kestrel> YOU
[22:55:12] <silentsky> :DDDDD
[22:55:23] <silentsky> Ken is just the nicest guy
[22:55:24] <Pere> sometimes your name is ken and you think everyone on the internet is great and trustworthy
[22:55:26] <Kestrel> 'no jimmy he's cool it'll be cool'
[22:55:39] <Ramc> haha ninjadyne is so bad
[22:55:42] <Kestrel> my caveat was not about general internet folk
[22:55:47] <Kestrel> I am down with general internet folk
[22:55:48] <silentsky> HIS NAME is ninjadyne
[22:55:56] <Kestrel> and he shits on couches
[22:55:57] <Ramc> idk what his real name is anymore
[22:56:01] <FinST> he pooped on my couch
[22:56:03] <Pere> ninjadyne was his internet name. his real name was jared? i think.
[22:56:04] <Kestrel> jared or something
[22:56:05] <silentsky> you do not entertain a man who chooses that name
[22:56:06] <FinST> i watched him do it
[22:56:12] <Ramc> he pooped on fin's couch
[22:56:17] <FinST> he pulled down his pants and he started pooping
[22:56:20] <Ramc> on his COUCH annael
[22:56:20] <FinST> and i told him to stop
[22:56:22] <FinST> but it was too late
[22:56:26] <silentsky> oh like...on purpose
[22:56:31] <FinST> honestly
[22:56:33] <Ramc> he WATCHED it happen
[22:56:37] <silentsky> was he trying to prove a point?
[22:56:43] <FinST> i feel waaaaay worse in retrospect about asking karen to drive him to CT
[22:56:43] <Kestrel> poop a point*
[22:56:47] <Ramc> you have to imagine everyone's text in achewood font while this happens
[22:56:47] <Ramc> i do
[22:56:55] <FinST> ohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiit
[22:57:00] <silentsky> I can't stop laughing
[22:57:01] <FinST> sorry about that pere
[22:57:09] <FinST> he wasn't trying to prove a point, he was just very drunk
[22:57:16] <FinST> but he definitely thought the couch was an approved poop zone
[22:57:18] <FinST> and it definitely wasn't
[22:57:19] <Kestrel> I have gotten very drunk
[22:57:25] <silentsky> I cant stop
[22:57:26] <Kestrel> I have never shit on a furniture
[22:57:32] <Ramc> hell, same, kes
[22:57:35] <silentsky> I'm crying
[22:57:35] <Ramc> fucked up i know
[22:57:50] <Ramc> remember when we all went down to your house kes
[22:57:53] <Ramc> for the rally in DC
[22:57:57] <silentsky> wow. I needed that story. I didn't even know I did.
[22:57:57] <Ramc> and you had signs
[22:58:00] <Kestrel> let alone never shit on a furniture while I was being encouraged, nay, instructed, nay, PLEADED WITH not to shit on the furniture
[22:58:03] <Ramc> around the house
[22:58:09] <Ramc> letting us know what was and was not a poop zone
[22:58:16] <FinST> he did
[22:58:17] <FinST> hahahaha
[22:58:21] <Kestrel> It was very well disambiguated.
[22:58:27] <Ramc> PLEASE, ken cried
[22:58:28] <Ramc> on his knees
[22:58:28] <silentsky> how did you
[22:58:31] <Ramc> PLEASE NO
[22:58:32] <Pere> who cleaned up the couch, in the end?
[22:58:39] <FinST> shaggy did
[22:58:41] <FinST> the other internet guy who came
[22:58:43] <silentsky> what kind of a conversation did you have with him after
[22:58:45] <Ramc> it was some shakespeare in the park shit in my head
[22:58:50] <FinST> oh that's the great thing
[22:58:56] <FinST> i drove him back to pennsylvania the next day, annael
[22:59:00] <FinST> the two of them
[22:59:03] <Pere> (because i refused to)
[22:59:05] <FinST> four hour drive there
[22:59:07] <FinST> four hour drive back
[22:59:08] <silentsky> don't tell me
[22:59:09] <FinST> it was
[22:59:10] <Pere> (i did offer to pay for their train or bus ticket)
[22:59:11] <silentsky> you didn't talk about it
[22:59:12] <FinST> not a comfortable ride
[22:59:21] <FinST> i didn't want him to poop in my CAR
[22:59:26] <silentsky> crying
[22:59:46] <silentsky> but there was no confrontation?
[22:59:59] <silentsky> no, dude you pooped on my couch, you broke the couch code
[23:00:05] <Ramc> ([caeser turns to find a huge steaming pile in the center of the senate. he tears up] et tu, brutus)
[23:00:10] <Ramc> there is a code
[23:00:11] <Pere> the couch code omg
[23:00:17] <Ramc> you do not poop on another mans couch
[23:00:18] <Ramc> you dont
[23:00:20] <silentsky> it's implied!
[23:00:28] <Ramc> you dont talk to anyone when you are at the urinal
[23:00:28] <FinST> poo-tus
[23:00:32] <Ramc> you don't shit on the couch'
[23:00:36] <FinST> there was no confrontation
[23:00:41] <silentsky> don't shit on the couch that hosts you
[23:00:42] <FinST> that's the thing
[23:00:45] <FinST> there isn't even a couch code
[23:00:47] <FinST> there doesn't have to be
[23:00:52] <FinST> this is sub-code-level stuff
[23:00:59] <Ramc> did you keep accidentally saying poop words during the drive small talk
[23:01:02] <Ramc> 'wow i'm pooped'
[23:01:04] <Ramc> '...'
[23:01:05] <Ramc> '...'
[23:01:08] <Ramc> '... LIKE MY COUCH'
[23:01:12] <FinST> lol'd
[23:01:15] <silentsky> haa
[23:01:27] <Ramc> I can't even imagine what I would do.
[23:01:33] <FinST> well
[23:01:34] <Ramc> these are the times that define a man
[23:01:34] <FinST> we threw the couch out
[23:01:39] <FinST> i'll tell you that
[23:01:40] <Ramc> Mary would straight up kill him probably
[23:01:42] <silentsky> spontaneous combustion is the only rational response
[23:01:46] <FinST> mary would definitely kill him
[23:01:57] <Ramc> he would be insanely dead and we'd have to dispose of him in the woods
[23:02:12] <silentsky> I could never look him in the face again that's for sure
[23:02:13] <silentsky> OR
[23:02:18] <silentsky> I would convince myself that he was a dog all along
[23:02:21] <Ramc> then she's probably kill me for inviting him
[23:02:23] <Kestrel> lolling
[23:02:35] <silentsky> you know who would love him, my son
[23:02:43] <Ramc> Okay sok
[23:02:44] <FinST> no, we went from close enough to invite this guy to my house to never talking again
[23:02:46] <Ramc> so jared
[23:02:49] <Ramc> so jared the book is called
[23:02:53] <Ramc> "Everybody Poops" okay
[23:02:54] <Ramc> okay but
[23:02:56] <Ramc> it's not called
[23:03:02] <Ramc> "Everybody Poops... on the couch"
[23:03:17] <silentsky> this is the best thing I heard all year
[23:03:20] <FinST> marc i know you're having a grand old time right now
[23:03:23] <FinST> but you weren't there
[23:03:34] <Ramc> thank goodness
[23:03:36] <FinST> you don't know what it was _like_
[23:03:44] <Ramc> I mean I have a very good imagination.
[23:03:47] <silentsky> but now I will never be able to sleep because this story is like an adrenalin shot
[23:03:55] <silentsky> so THANKS
[23:04:28] <Ramc> 'my favorite guy in Judevine is the guy who always says 'shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit a fuccckinnn craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap'' -jared presumably
[23:04:33] <silentsky> you should get Florian to write a ballad in heroic couplets to commemorate the event
[23:04:38] <silentsky> Anus Mirabilis
[23:04:51] <Ramc> roses are red
[23:04:53] <Ramc> violets are blue
[23:04:56] <Ramc> i invited you to my house
[23:05:05] <Ramc> and you shit on my couch while i begged you please dont shit on my couch oh my god
[23:05:07] <silentsky> stahp
[23:05:23] <FinST> i was SURE you'd rhyme blue / poo
[23:05:28] <Pere> so was i
[23:05:29] <silentsky> this is so much better
[23:05:36] <Ramc> i am an artist
[23:05:49] <FinST> florian is the man to write the heroic couplets
[23:05:49] <Pere> i can't even imagine what the moment itself must have been like
[23:05:52] <FinST> if the man was ever born
[23:06:05] <Kestrel> yeah, this story has yet to lose its pale for me
[23:06:08] <Pere> like was it just panic and then dread as you realize the inevitable
[23:06:13] <Ramc> for sale poop couch barely used
[23:06:13] <FinST> disgust
[23:06:15] <silentsky> you know though do you wonder if he looks back in horror at this moment periodically
[23:06:18] <FinST> there was a lot of adasjkdkhsafdsa
[23:06:18] <Pere> (i had honestly forgotten aobut it until 20 minutes ago)
[23:06:19] <FinST> hahaha
[23:06:20] <FinST> marc
[23:06:42] <silentsky> this is probably the low point of his life
[23:06:46] <silentsky> I mean I HOPE
[23:06:47] <FinST> the worst thing was watching it happen
[23:06:56] <Kestrel> oh I bet
[23:06:58] <silentsky> was it...slow?
[23:07:00] <FinST> i've never watched another person - another _adult_ - poop
[23:07:03] <Ramc> I have never ever done something this embarassing in my life
[23:07:07] <silentsky> like slomo poop?
[23:07:08] <Ramc> and i larped
[23:07:15] <Kestrel> daaaaaang
[23:07:34] <Pere> annael thank you for asking the question i kind of wanted to know but was never ever going to ask
[23:07:41] <silentsky> :D
[23:07:47] <Ramc> 'marc we need someone to help do some npc thing for a changeling larp want to help' me, internally: 'well at least i never pooped a couch'
[23:07:59] <FinST> i saw where the poop comes out before there was poop
[23:08:04] <FinST> and then there was poop coming out
[23:08:09] <FinST> it wasn't good
[23:08:11] <FinST> it was bad
[23:08:14] <silentsky> it's just like watching a birth
[23:08:19] <FinST> i couldn't look away
[23:08:32] <silentsky> the birth of a beautiful baby poop
[23:08:39] <FinST> :(
[23:08:47] <silentsky> I'm sorry
[23:08:57] <silentsky> You weren't ready for that experience
[23:09:18] <silentsky> Which was totally what we should have talked about at yeserday's destigmatization colloqium
[23:09:27] <FinST> lol
[23:09:32] <FinST> just get that 1000 yard stare
[23:09:33] <Ramc> TELL ME OF THE COUCH-POOPED MAN O MUSE
[23:09:46] <silentsky> it would've raised the level of that shindig by a million
[23:09:59] <Ramc> what color was the couch
[23:10:01] <FinST> "you want to get VULNERABLE"
[23:10:02] <silentsky> forget impostor syndrom, I SAW A MAN POOP
[23:10:03] <FinST> "you want to get REAL"
[23:10:08] <Ramc> you know before it was brown
[23:10:09] <FinST> "well, I'll tell you something REAL"
[23:10:14] <silentsky> haaaaa
[23:10:15] <FinST> it was a brown leather couch
[23:10:22] <silentsky> pfffff
[23:10:28] <Pere> how did you tell your mother
[23:10:31] <Pere> or did you just get rid of the couch
[23:10:34] <Ramc> mom
[23:10:36] <Pere> with no explanation
[23:10:36] <Ramc> i got bad news
[23:10:39] <FinST> i am p sure we just got rid of the couch with no explanation
[23:10:42] <Ramc> Did you go to the furniture store
[23:10:45] <FinST> it was my couch
[23:10:45] <silentsky> you know if it was brown leather you probably could've cleaned it up
[23:10:46] <Ramc> and try to find a lookalike couch
[23:10:48] <Ramc> like in a sitcom
[23:10:49] <FinST> i found it on the-
[23:10:52] <FinST> no, annael
[23:10:54] <FinST> no, i couldn't
[23:10:59] <Ramc> some things
[23:11:02] <FinST> the fact that it was brown just makes it worse
[23:11:03] <Ramc> some things... never come clean
[23:11:05] <FinST> because you'd never know
[23:11:08] <silentsky> you could've gotten a professional
[23:11:16] <Ramc> if by a professional you mean a hitman
[23:11:20] <Ramc> to kill the couch
[23:11:21] <Ramc> and burn it
[23:11:28] <silentsky> maybe you could poop on the rest of the couch so it'll be even
[23:11:34] <FinST> you'd never know
[23:11:39] <FinST> ahahahha
[23:11:43] <Ramc> no he pooped on it first it is a territory thing
[23:11:46] <FinST> i mean it's a couch we found on the side of the road
[23:11:53] <silentsky> oh well
[23:11:54] <FinST> so it went back where it came from
[23:11:54] <silentsky> in that case
[23:11:55] <FinST> the garbage
[23:12:01] <silentsky> who's to say it was the first poop it knew
[23:12:03] <Ramc> do you think he drove the 4 hours back and picked up the couch from where you left it on the curb
[23:12:14] <silentsky> I mean why was it out there in the first place
[23:12:15] <Ramc> i mean
[23:12:17] <Ramc> free couch
[23:12:24] <Ramc> silentsky i bet someone pooped on i
[23:12:25] <Ramc> t
[23:12:46] <Pere> there are probably ways that the visual experience could have been even worse
[23:12:49] <silentsky> you pick up a couch on the street, you gotta be willing to pretend it had no life before it met you
[23:12:50] <Ramc> time is a flat circle
[23:13:17] <Ramc> the life cycle of the couch poop cordyceps is extremely convoluted
[23:13:29] <Pere> ken, has korine heard this story or is she missing out right now
[23:13:40] <FinST> korine has gotten breakfast with marc and i at least once
[23:13:43] <FinST> and has met jimmy
[23:13:48] <FinST> so i have to assume she's heard this story
[23:13:54] <FinST> she's missing out either way
[23:13:55] <silentsky> totally breakfast conversation material
[23:14:01] <Ramc> someone send her the log
[23:14:04] <silentsky> pass the poop
[23:14:09] <Pere> oh my god XD
[23:14:43] <Ramc> So fin
[23:14:47] <Ramc> if you could turn back time
[23:15:01] <Ramc> what would you have done differently at that critical moment
[23:15:13] <silentsky> oh wow you could groundshog day this
[23:15:17] <FinST> i think in retrospect it was one of those Crisis Moments
[23:15:26] <FinST> who knows what would have happened, if i had done things differently
[23:15:29] <FinST> who _can_ know
[23:15:42] <Ramc> smash cut to the reality where fin prevented the couch shitting
[23:15:49] <Ramc> we are all happy moon communists
[23:16:09] <silentsky> it is possible you're bringing many people joy because this has happened to you. So really it is a good thing.
[23:16:18] <silentsky> If you're a utilitarian.
[23:16:20] <Ramc> instead the only moon ken will remmeber is the full moon that then shit
[23:16:22] <Ramc> on his couch
[23:16:42] <silentsky> ok...we've been talking about poop for an hour and I feel amazing.
[23:16:48] <silentsky> It is officially time to call it a day
[23:16:56] <Ramc> TOPIC
[23:17:07] <silentsky> thanks for telling me.
[23:17:12] <FinST> gj marc
[23:17:22] <silentsky> I feel closer to you all and especially to poop which is always a desirable thing.
[23:17:26] <FinST> :(
[23:17:33] <silentsky> sorry Ken.
[23:17:41] <Ramc> we've learned something about each other
[23:17:48] <Ramc> and more importantly ourselves
[23:17:51] <Ramc> and MOST importantly
[23:17:55] <Ramc> about kens couch
[23:17:59] <silentsky> we all love a good couch poop story.
[23:18:03] <Ramc> (it was pooped on)
[23:18:13] <FinST> that is what happened
[23:18:18] <FinST> it wasn't good
[23:18:22] <silentsky> well you know now it's an orphan couch, abandoned for sins not its own.
[23:18:41] <Ramc> very greek
[23:18:49] <FinST> poobris
[23:19:10] <silentsky> Oliver Poop.
[23:19:58] <silentsky> good night everyone. Good night poop couch. Good night Ninjadyne.
[23:21:25] <FinST> not good
[23:21:36] <FinST> this seriously was a half an hour
[23:22:01] <silentsky> QUIT
[23:22:21] <Pere> man, NICOLE was at that party
[23:22:48] <FinST> oh man that's right
[23:22:56] <Pere> she drove my car to rabbit rock for me
[23:22:59] <Pere> becuase i had to drive yours
[23:23:11] <FinST> nicole deserves to be like two or three dozen degrees removed from any story like this
[23:23:21] <FinST> as do you, karen, but like
[23:23:38] <Pere> ha
[23:25:18] <FinST> man
[23:25:23] <FinST> what a time to be alive
[23:26:00] <Ramc> what a world
[23:28:11] <FinST> two different paths tho
[23:28:30] <FinST> i'd trade having my couch pooped on again for getting breakfast w you once a week or so and going to jimml's wedding
[23:29:01] <FinST> and who can say that my disgust at the couchpoop was not the catalyst for our friendship
[23:29:05] <FinST> that and skalyriamas
[23:30:48] <Ramc> yes well
[23:30:54] <Ramc> TOUCHING
[23:31:04] <Ramc> TWO PATHS DIVERGED IN A WOOD
[23:31:05] <Ramc> AND I
[23:31:14] <Ramc> AND I TOOK THE ONE MORE COUCH POOPED BY