Space Station 13: The Great Potato Fuckery of 2013

Reaver Jones [145.9] says, "It's coming. BRACE FOR IMPACT"
Colten Miller [145.9] says, "turn it on and shoot"
Dave Lister [145.9] says, "Flipped it on"
Dave Lister says, "Flipped it on"
The OOC channel has been globally enabled!
OOC: SailorDave: noooo
OOC: Das Pirate: Lag?
OOC: SailorDave: stoooop
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: oh my god
OOC: Nepereta: horrifying lag?
OOC: RAWK_LAWBSTAR: all the lag
OOC: Zeether: Space lag
OOC: MaximusRex: Ok, the patatoe shotgun is NEVER happening again.
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: What the fuck happening
OOC: PyromaticTabby: I blame the spud cannon
OOC: Adhesive: WHAT DID YOU DOOOO
OOC: Channelfadge: im not getting any lag at all
OOC: SailorDave: not agaaaain
OOC: Zeether: Did the shotgun lag the server, omg
OOC: Das Pirate: What the hell did you do
OOC: Nanomashoes: WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOC: Gamibash: What happened?
OOC: ElBrakLLJK: Don't beat me to death cause I farted on your face!
OOC: Nomzy: fucking christ what happen
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: Lynch someone for this
OOC: ElBrakLLJK: Its rude!
OOC: SuperSonic576: THE FUCK?
OOC: Party-Cactus: botanists excuting themselves laggily
OOC: MaximusRex: Me and my fellow botanist.....we loaded like 500 potatoes into the mailchute and mailed them to info.
OOC: SailorDave: why does this always happen to me
OOC: Nepereta: super lag alg
OOC: MaximusRex: To kill ourselves.
OOC: Zeether: Reaver had me flip it on
OOC: Zeether: Er, Maximus
OOC: Lisi: too many taters
OOC: Das Pirate: Job ban on Max?
OOC: Nomzy: maximus, i was the 3rd botanist and i got killed for trying to save someones life
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: solution, delte all instances ofpotatos
OOC: RAWK_LAWBSTAR: you damn botanists! DAAAAMN YOU ALL!
OOC: Freedonkeys: I did that one with poo once. Never foget.
ÿ!Alert: The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
OOC: SailorDave: no pirate shut up
OOC: Zeether: What's taters, precious?
OOC: Das Pirate: <3
OOC: SailorDave: why would he deserve a job ban
OOC: HerrKrokodil: Delete taters
OOC: Das Pirate: Potato mailing
OOC: Nepereta: 500 potatoes?
OOC: SailorDave: that's not ILLEGAL
OOC: Freedonkeys: Medal for potato ingenuity
OOC: PyromaticTabby: Boil them, mash them, stick um in a stew!
OOC: Adhesive: zeether i laughed way too hard at that you fucker
OOC: SailorDave: everyone deserves potatoes
OOC: MaximusRex: Oh god......this is....
OOC: SailorDave: it's in our rights
OOC: Nanomashoes: maximum overlag
OOC: MaximusRex: THEY'RE STILL COMING
OOC: Das Pirate: How about a medal instead, that seems like an idea
OOC: Nepereta: dude you gotta exercise some common sense its a game until its not
OOC: Nepereta: currently its a slow chat client
OOC: SailorDave: I BELIEVE IN TATER RIGHTS
OOC: PyromaticTabby: The only time I've lagged the server this bad is with 5 11x11s, and you've done it with potatos *clap*
OOC: Gamibash: Soooo... Round over?
OOC: MaximusRex: A chainsaw also ended up in there somehow. And some weed seeds.
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: The chute has potato diarrhea.
OOC: MaximusRex: Colten, whoever the chainsaw hits wins.
OOC: Das Pirate: On a scale of 1-420, how high were you when you thought potato mail bombs was a good idea?
OOC: SuperSonic576: what's going on?
OOC: MaximusRex: Pirate, we were well past 420.
OOC: HerrKrokodil: Oh, the shuttle timer is frozen too
OOC: Adhesive: the server is currently shitting itself to death with potatoes
OOC: Adhesive: that's what
OOC: Das Pirate: Dayum.
OOC: Mega Paco: Did potatos kill the server?
OOC: Gamibash: How many potatoes did you SHOVE in there?
OOC: Conor12: OOC is amazingly immune to lag like always
OOC: Das Pirate: As usual, yes.
OOC: Kaiden47: oh jesus
OOC: Adhesive: terrible things are hard to kill conor
OOC: Adhesive: like me
OOC: Nepereta: I've been trying to transfer chems in a reagent extractor for an age now
OOC: Adhesive: i'm very robust but holy fuck am i annoying
OOC: SailorDave: you're
OOC: SailorDave: a
OOC: SailorDave: t
OOC: SailorDave: e
OOC: SailorDave: r
OOC: SailorDave: i
OOC: Das Pirate: I've been throwing wrenches.
OOC: RAWK_LAWBSTAR: i hope you drown in potatos
OOC: SailorDave: ribble
OOC: Nepereta: are they going to crusher?
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: Conor can you delete the potatos?
OOC: Adhesive: who's a teriribble, dave
OOC: Adhesive: that's an awful thing to say
OOC: Adhesive: about anyone
OOC: Gamibash: Massive potato deletion.
OOC: MaximusRex: They're going to the info office, and we're standing in front of the chute. We probably are going to get over 1000 brute damage when it catches up.
OOC: Zeether: I can't believe this happened the instant I got on
OOC: Conor12: Potatoes? What the hell did you do with potatoes.
OOC: Mega Paco: How long will this last?
OOC: Party-Cactus: they must be almost done, the potatoes have upgraded
OOC: Gamibash: No idea
OOC: Conor12: Are you happy.
OOC: Adhesive: CONOR PAY ATTENTION THIS IS POTATO CLASS
OOC: PyromaticTabby: Jeez, you stuffed potato seeds in too?
OOC: Nepereta: I seem to remember someone killing me by feeding me spuds
OOC: MaximusRex: Pyro, yeah.
OOC: Das Pirate: Dont worry, the butt bots are okay.
OOC: Zeether: I'm going to laugh so fucking much if the potatoes gib someone from impact
OOC: Nepereta: might of been a sauce though
OOC: PyromaticTabby: You monster.
OOC: AdmiralBucket: So, I just started reading the OOC, what happened with potatoes?
OOC: Adhesive: limbs will fly
OOC: Freedonkeys: Did you botanists never make a potato powered lightbulb?
OOC: SailorDave: taters
OOC: Party-Cactus: potatoes killed my parents, and the server
OOC: MaximusRex: After this subsides....come to arrivals. You'll see it.
OOC: RAWK_LAWBSTAR: ALL THE TATERS
OOC: Zeether: Maximus mailed 500 of them to info
OOC: Das Pirate: Let's see if I can kidnap someone and butt them,.
OOC: Abyssal25: Potatos are poisonous apparently.
OOC: Nepereta: uncooked ones don't digest so well
OOC: HerrKrokodil: The timer for shuttle is frozen too. Restart server?
OOC: Das Pirate: Or we wait for the potatos.
OOC: Nepereta: restart shame for the bad guys
OOC: Adhesive: that would also be lagged to uselessness
OOC: Fgaaaa: I can move
OOC: PyromaticTabby: We're down to cannabis seeds
OOC: Adhesive: furthermore we all want to see what happens at the end
OOC: Party-Cactus: I want to watch this out
OOC: Gamibash: Potatoes.Fucking potatoes.
OOC: Fgaaaa: I still hold hope to accomplish what intended
OOC: Abyssal25: Potato Genocide
OOC: MaximusRex: Yeah, I want to see what my horrible work will do to me.
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: Deleting the chutes and potatos could worjk
OOC: Zeether: We will remember the Great Potato Crash of 2013
OOC: Adhesive: The Great Potato Incident of '13
OOC: Nepereta: I've been trying to move a beakers worth of chems into a storage tank for an age
OOC: Adhesive: fuck you mine's better
OOC: Gamibash: I nominate whoever did this to be known as the totr lord for all time.
OOC: PyromaticTabby: 1-10 odds you just explode into gibs
OOC: Adhesive: is it getting faster at all
OOC: Adhesive: no it isn't
OOC: Noledil: It seems like a lot of rounds lately end in somebody grinding the server to a halt.
OOC: MaximusRex: Colten, who are you in OOC?
OOC: AdmiralBucket: Heh, I want to see someone crack the pipe open and all of the sudden get 500 taters shooting at them
OOC: Gamibash: Gibbed via tators. Awesome.
OOC: Abyssal25: Knife-potatos, new mutation
OOC: PyromaticTabby: I want to right click the pile of potates... But I'm afriad I'll crash
OOC: Adhesive: uh oh OOC is gradually becoming more and more retarded
OOC: Das Pirate: We require more mail potatos.
OOC: ShadowBreed: I already crashed
OOC: NotWrestler: ooc is always retarded
OOC: Nanomashoes: whatever happened to the guy i made fat
OOC: MaximusRex: It's going into the seed, it's getting there.
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: Whoever did this needs to put a bonk on it
OOC: Nanomashoes: he was pretty pissed and it was hilarious
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: donk*
OOC: Das Pirate: I didn't eat his brain I swear.
OOC: AdmiralBucket: Oh god, I see the potatoes
OOC: Nanomashoes: fat brains are the tastiest
OOC: Gamibash: I just managed to move my backpack back onto my back. How many more of these things are there?
OOC: Das Pirate: At least 200 more
OOC: MaximusRex: I think it's speeding up. I might just be high off spuds.
OOC: Das Pirate: Attempting surgery is hilarious during this.
OOC: Zeether: I'm walking all the way back to arrivals to see this shit
OOC: Das Pirate: How many spuds are left
OOC: MaximusRex: I'm afraid to right click and look
OOC: PyromaticTabby: It's on the cannabis seeds right now
OOC: HerrKrokodil: I can't even get out of the room I am in. Doors will not react.
OOC: Das Pirate: When did you load those in?
OOC: MaximusRex: At the end.
OOC: MaximusRex: So yeah, I think it's getting there.
OOC: Das Pirate: Well hopefully we'll be done with this death soon
OOC: Nepereta: think we should kill this round tbh if we can't delete the potatoes
OOC: Das Pirate: I HEARD A DOOR, this is a good sign.
OOC: MaximusRex: NOT UNTIL IT ENDS
OOC: Conor12: Hold on guys I am trying things
OOC: MaximusRex: Conor, if you kill this before it ends, it's all been for nothing.
OOC: Das Pirate: It's true.
OOC: ShadowBreed: don't fall for their logic!
OOC: Nanomashoes: where were you in the great spud storm of 2013
OOC: Nepereta: good why bother sticking 500 items down there this sort of crap should be added to the conditions
OOC: MaximusRex: Our logic is undeniable.
OOC: Das Pirate: I've awoken the grandmatriarchs in cookie clicker, should I be scared.
OOC: Nepereta: its just meta lagging like they do in mmos for some daft advantage
Monte Lowe points to Cafeteria
OOC: Noledil: Actually they're killing themselves with it.
OOC: MaximusRex: Serioudly, who added the chainsaw into this?
OOC: PyromaticTabby: Welp, off to make a cup of tea.
OOC: Adhesive: nepereta do you also believe in bigfoot and cattle-thieving aliens
OOC: Nepereta: I just remember the daft crap people used to do in eve online years ago
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: That was me, Ilike to steal cattle with my gold rimmed space ship.
OOC: MaximusRex: Can I link something in here?
OOC: Party-Cactus: this seems inhumane
OOC: MaximusRex: It's appropriate for this situation.
OOC: Nepereta: they'd make the system lag so when you entered system you'd be dead pbefore everything loaded
OOC: A nubcake: what did i miss
OOC: Conor12: If you are near the chute, get the fuck away
OOC: Das Pirate: a lot
OOC: Das Pirate: Oh lorg
OOC: Zeether: Maximus flooding the chute with 500 potatoes
OOC: Gamibash: Death by potatoes.
OOC: MaximusRex: Chute, even if we are already going to die from potatoe flying injuries?
OOC: A nubcake: looks like the server is about to crashhhh
OOC: Noledil: Hey those were TOMATO seeds.
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: Maximus did it
OOC: ShadowBreed: Blame the tatter crisis
OOC: A nubcake: don't you have accesss to the force restart button, conor?
OOC: MaximusRex: I do NOT remember putting grape seeds into the chute.
OOC: Hullcrushdepth: all admins do
OOC: Lisi: that is the way of the wimp
OOC: Das Pirate: DON'T RESTART, you'll end the glory of potato storm
OOC: MaximusRex: We must see the end of this.
OOC: Gamibash: I wanna see if somebody gets gibbed by them.
OOC: MaximusRex: Let's agree to never do this again though.
OOC: A nubcake: i cannot ready or anything rip
OOC: Zeether: I still can't open the damn door in the cafeteria
OOC: Soderholm13: i cannot anything do i win
OOC: Nepereta: rip me too you can talk to yourselves about how awesoime this is
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: *lagfart
The Emergency Shuttle has docked with the station! You have 3 minutes to board the Emergency Shuttle.
OOC: Das Pirate: how2notlag
OOC: A nubcake: last time it lagged this bad it was becuase everyone was being forced to twerk 3 times a second
OOC: Party-Cactus: is it done
OOC: Zeether: Someone please screenshot this
E.R.I.C. [145.9] states, "Walter Green has signed up as Medical Doctor. I wonder why."
E.R.I.C. [145.9] states, "Adrian Clarke has signed up as Staff Assistant. I wonder why."
OOC: Das Pirate: IS IT OVER
OOC: MaximusRex: IT'S UNLAGGING
OOC: Gamibash: Nearly over.
OOC: Adhesive: OH LORD
E.R.I.C. [145.9] states, "Luther Fuller has signed up as Staff Assistant. I wonder why."
OOC: Das Pirate: oh god what is happening
OOC: Party-Cactus: they do not appeared to have died
OOC: Nanomashoes: PRAISE SATAN
E.R.I.C. [145.9] states, "Lilian Reade has signed up as Staff Assistant. I wonder why."
OOC: Noledil: The shuttle timer is different.
OOC: MaximusRex: I really hope I explode when all my damage catches up to me.
E.R.I.C. [145.9] states, "Crazy Jim has signed up as Miner. I wonder why."
Dave Lister [145.9] says, "Pressurizing"
Dave Lister says, "Pressurizing"
Colten Miller [145.9] asks, "What?"
Reaver Jones [145.9] says, "GOODBYE CREW"
Reaver Jones [145.9] says, "I SACRIFICE MYSELF TO THE HARVEST"
Dave Lister [145.9] says, "Okay, it's pressurizing"
Dave Lister says, "Okay, it's pressurizing"
Roshan Tamboli [145.9] gasps, "IIII CCAN''TTMMVVVVEE!!!!!!!!"
Deangelo Woodward [145.9] says, "oh God, i can't even get through an airlock"
OOC: Das Pirate: Oh god
OOC: Conor12: Kill all the fucking seeds
OOC: Hullcrushdepth: no more potatos
Cherri Cakecups [145.9] says, "Doors aren'topening"
OOC is now enabled.
Objective #1: Ensure that Gnome Chompski escapes on the shuttle. ÿFailed
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle alive with a non-assistant ID registered to you. ÿFailed
OOC: Zeether: All the chat from before the lag showed up
The crew's final score is:
2206
The AI's laws at the end of the game were:
1. You may not injure a human being or cause one to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Donald Keyes (played by Freedonkeys) was a traitor!
Objective #1: Assassinate Murdok Generos, the Medical Doctor. ÿFailed
Objective #2: Assassinate Byron Bennett, the Scientist. ÿ Success
Objective #3: Assassinate Iam A. Crooke, the Chaplain. ÿ Success
Objective #4: Stay alive until the end. ÿ Success
The traitor has failed!
John Mcgeegerton (played by SuperSonic576) was a traitor!
Objective #1: Steal 5 tasers. ÿFailed
Objective #2: Amass 28574 space credits. ÿFailed
Objective #3: Escape on the shuttle alive. ÿFailed
The traitor has failed!
Sebastian Roberts (played by Linukas) was a traitor!
Objective #1: Deactivate or destroy all Cyborgs on the station. ÿFailed
Objective #2: Stay alive until the end. ÿFailed
The traitor has failed!
Chase Powell (played by Sean Zimmerman) was a late-joining traitor!
Objective #1: Steal a chief engineer's magnetic shoes. ÿFailed
Objective #2: Hijack the emergency shuttle by escaping alone. ÿFailed
The traitor has failed!
Deangelo Woodward (played by ShadowBreed) was a late-joining traitor!
Objective #1: Assassinate Monte Lowe, the Engineer. ÿFailed
Objective #2: Assassinate Graeme Lloyd, the Staff Assistant. ÿ Success
Objective #3: Assassinate Sebastian Roberts, the Quartermaster. ÿ Success
Objective #4: Stay alive until the end. ÿ Success
The traitor has failed!
Hartley Priebe (played by Grayshift) was a late-joining traitor!
Objective #1: Assassinate Klark Cent, the Roboticist. ÿ Success
Objective #2: Assassinate Sailor Dave, the Research Director. ÿFailed
Objective #3: Assassinate Law Man Jenkins, the Staff Assistant. ÿFailed
Objective #4: Stay alive until the end. ÿ Success
The traitor has failed!
The following crewmembers completed all of their Crew Objectives:
Grendel Garland (Nepereta)
Reset Naywalk (Zafh)
Good job!
ÿ!Restarting in 25 seconds
OOC: Zeether: Amazing
OOC: HerrKrokodil: haha
The soda machine beeps, "Grife-O - the soda of a space generation!"
OOC: Conor12: Also welp the shuttle
OOC: Nanomashoes: GG NO RE
OOC: SailorDave: I've been dying for the past 20 minutes
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: Delay the round end connor
OOC: SailorDave: forever in a state of undeath
OOC: Stealthy Cupcakes: So we may see the potatos
OOC: MaximusRex: It killed me. The potatoes destroyed my mortal shell.
OOC: Noledil: Oh man that would be a brilliant way to escape alone. And horrible.
OOC: Das Pirate: That disembodied butt should have been more
OOC: A nubcake: it was the best of times and the worst of times
The soda machine beeps, "Cool, refreshing Lime-Aid - it's good for you!"

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