Stuffed to the gills (by : DICTATORANON)

http://pastebin.com/YgCmbf5d

>Dawn broke over Canterlot
>You were still blissfully asleep in your federally subsidized, yet supremely comfortable, bed
>You were, that is, until a particularly bright ray of sunshine broke through your window
"Ugh, fine, I'll get up!" You lamented at the giant glowing alarm clock outside your window
>You had somehow managed to sleep through your alarm, which is surprising considering you were getting complaints about it from Celestia and Luna
>Who were on the exact opposite side of the castle
>Time to start the day
>Shit, shower, shave, the usual
"It's Friday, let's put on something nice for Twily." You murmured to yourself, thoughts of that purple mare rampaging through your thoughts
>Black dress socks: Check
>Clean white dress shirt: Check
>Light blue waistcoat: Check
>Solid blue pants: Check
"And now for the hardest part." You said to yourself as you retrieved a red tie from a drawer
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>Several attempts at self-asphyxiation later, the tie was secure around your shirt collar
"And now, the hair."
>You meticulously sculpt it in "his" image, making sure to capture every spike
>Pleased with the results, you button up the waistcoat, grab the solid blue blazer from the closet, and apply your ambassador's badge to the blazer's left lapel
"Ohp, almost forgot."
You take a golden chain with a locket at the end, put the locket in your left coat pocket, and head downstairs for breakfast
>You were at the breakfast area, yet Celestia and Luna were missing
>You inquire about it when one of the servants brings you your breakfast
>"Ah, they've gone away on business. Something about keeping poachers out of Equestria." He said, in an accent that you couldn't quite place
'Damn, it's happening already. I guess I'll be expecting some flack for this.' You thought to yourself as you scarfed down your breakfast
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>Finished with your breakfast, you head down to the garage, eager to get on the road
"The roads aren't snowy anymore, but they're still rough." You thought aloud
>You fancied the G63 for this one
>Stepping in, you put the key in the ignition, turned it, and listened as the beast under the bonnet coughed and then roared into life
>You put on your seatbelt and began on your way
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"Man, what the fuck. I didn't even know that many ponies commute from Ponyville to Canterlot." You say astounded at how congested the road coming from Ponyville was as compared with the one going to there
>You made it, though, safe and sound
>As you enter town, however, something doesn't seem quite right
>It seems to be deserted, despite it being a Friday
>No bustling market trade, no ponys out for leisurely walks, no fillies going to class
>They all seem to be locked indoors
>You ventured to be a bit brave and rolled down the window to ask
"Excuse me!" You yell to a pony whose window was still open
>"Y-yes, w-what do you want?" She responded timidly
"What's going on around here? It's like a ghost town!" You inquire amazed
>"S-something's happened in Princess Twilight Sparkle's Library last night. N-no one knows what, though." She said, looking around as though on alert for a predator
"I see. Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's no big deal. Thanks, citizen!" You say rolling up the window and driving on to Twilight's place
>"D-don't do anything risky, A-ambassador!" the mare shouted after you
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>You arrive at The Golden Oak Library
>You park outside and take a cursory glance
>Nothing seems out of place
>Twilight's SLS AMG is still here, so you know she must still be here
>You knock on the door
>A soft shuffling is heard inside
>The door swings open, with Spike at the door
>"Oh, thank Celestia! Come inside, quick!"
>You have no time to react as your hand is grabbed and you are tugged inside
>You manage to free yourself just before you get to the stairs
"Hold the phone, Spike. What are you so worked up about?" You ask, dusting off your suit
>"Look there." He says in a scared voice as he points to a pile of scrolls on the floor
>You walk over to where he's pointing
"Haha, poor Spike, scared witless by a bunch of fallen scrolls! I'll help you pick them up!" You exclaim, stooping down and picking up a scroll
>As you roll it up, you think you see something purple buried under all of the scrolls
"Eh? That's odd." You mutter as you clear off some of the scrolls
>A short, soft-looking cylinder-esque object is revealed to you
>You decide to pick it up
"GYAH!" You exclaim in complete and utter shock as you drop the object and stumble to behind the table in the middle of the room
>"See what I mean now?" Spike chimed in
"Okay Anon, breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out." You repeat to yourself in an attempt to calm yourself
>Upon doing so, you and Spike both make your way back to the object which is now on top of the scrolls
>The object is a medium-sized plushie toy made to look exactly like Twilight Sparkle
>Every detail is anatomically correct, even the wings have individual feathers on them
>The eyes look like glass marbles, but there's something eerily life-like about them
"How the...what even...I...huh?" You manage, completely flabbergasted by the turn of events
>"I don't know how she got like this, Anonymous! All I know is that she was trying to make her coat softer last night when I went to bed and now she's like this!" Spike said hurriedly
"Spike."
>"Y-yeah?"
"I want you to calm down. Panicking will get us nowhere."
>"I guess you're right." Spike said, breathing in deeply
"All right, well first thing's first, we need to check some of these scrolls for a possible clue. You can read Equestrian, right?"
>He responded with a nod
"All right, then, let's get cracking." You say, picking up a scroll from off the floor
"Ohp, wait." You say as you pick up Twilight's plushie self and put it on a table
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>"Alright, I think this one's it!" Spike said triumphantly, holding up a scroll
"How can you be sure?"
>"Listen to this." Spike said, clearing his throat
>"'This spell will cause any object to be softer than a pegasus' wings, from top to bottom. But be warned: This level of softness is not meant for mere mortals.'"
"Alrighty then. Does it say anything about spell reversal?"
>"I'm looking for that." He said, squinting at the parchment as he muttered some words to himself
>"Aha! Here it is! 'If you no longer wish for your enchanted object to enchant you with its plushiness, then wrap it in something softer than it."
"Oh boy."
>Spike looked at you with a puzzled look on his face
"I'm not sure if you've felt this, but I don't think there's anything softer than this material." You lamented as you gave Spike the plushie to feel for himself
>Upon holding it, Spike's face contorted itself to wear a look of horrified realization
>"Oh no! Then how will we get Twilight back?" He lamented
"Hmm, how indeed." You pondered
>Your nervous tick had caught up with you, as you found yourself running a hand through your hair, which wasn't as relieving as you thought
>"Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask, what's up with your hair? It looks like it could stab someone." Spike inquired
"Hm? Oh, this? It's an homage to a very important person back in my world. Now, normally my hair is let down and touchable, but the gel made it a bit stiff-"
>You had a lightbulb moment
>Eagerly, you began digging through all of your pockets
'Come on, come on, I know I have some in here.'
>Spike looked on curiously as you rummaged through all of your pockets with unmatched ferocity
>After a few minutes of searching, you produced a small blue tube of hair gel
>You walk over to the plushie, tube in hand
>As you open up the top of the tube, Spike finally ventures to ask what you're doing
"Why, cheating, of course." You say giddily as you apply the hair gel to Twilight's plushie
>Coating it all was a breeze, since it wasn't that large
"And now we wait."
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>Once the gel has dried, you hold it to inspect your work
"Ah, perfect! Now all we need is something softer than this, like say, a blanket."
>"I'm on it" Spike yelled as he was already halfway up the stairs to Twilight's room
>He returned with a blanket moments later
"All right, now for the moment of truth." You say hesitantly as you wrap Twilight in the blanket lightly
>As soon as you set it down, you can feel it growing and gaining warmth
"Hit the deck!" You shout as you dive for cover
>The doll grew to the size of a pony in no time at all
>The sack of cloth then started to move and make muffled noises of frustration, as though trying to escape
"Hang on." You say as you go to help take off the blanket
>Under it was revealed one life-sized (and alive) Twilight Sparkle
"Twily!" You shouted with glee as you went to hug her
>Her gelled coat had other plans, though
"Yeow!"
>"Spike! Anon! I'm so glad to see you two!" She exclaimed as she kept her distance, noticing how pained you were
>"Come on, let's get you washed, I'll explain on the way."
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>"Really? A stuffed toy?" Twilight marveled as she dried herself
>"Yeah, and it was Anon's quick thinking that saved you from being a toy forever."
"Aw, it was nothing." You say as you put a hand behind the back of your head
'Nothing but pure genius!' You thought, triumphant as ever
>"Still though, hair gel? You'd think these spells are a little more permanent than that." Twilight said, musing over the spell
"Eh, the way I see it, spells and inter-dimensional laws are the same in one basic regard: They both have loopholes." You say with a small smirk
>This got a giggle out of the both of them
"I have one question, though: Why did you do it?"
>Twilight looked down a bit
>"I thought I'd get ready for our date." She said sheepishly
"Oh, come on. You know damn well you look absolutely stunning every day, no work needed." You said incredulously
>"I can't say the same for your hair, though." Twilight giggled as she held a wet towel in her magical grip and lobbed it at your head
>It hit you square in the hair
'Ugh, the things I do for love.' You thought as you took off the towel