Anima, Ch.40: Darkest Hour

--01-- [Scene: Emain Macha] <BGM: Rosemary>
What happened?! He's dead! Why is Devin dead?!
Even a Phoenix Feather didn't work!
What did I do?? What do I do now?
How did this happen? We're not supposed to be able to die! This can't be happening!

--02-- <BGM: Rosemary>
...But it did happen.
This was what I was afraid of, what I'd feared the most...
I was finally honest with myself, finally able to confess my feelings...and now I've killed the man I loved...


--03-- <BGM: Rosemary>
I was so distraught that I didn't hear the footsteps.
Why wouldn't someone come running, certainly someone would have heard my scream...?
But the last person I could have hoped for arrived first...


--04-- <O Glorious Sword of Light>
(Price)
Hey, what's the problem, I heard a...?
What? What happened here...?
Meara. You...you didn't...


--05-- <BGM: O Glorious Sword of Light>
"Redire...? No, I didn't... I... This isn't what it...
I don't know what happened! He just...died...
I didn't mean for this to happen!"


--06-- <O Glorious Sword of Light>
(Price)
And I'm sure you didn't mean to kill Esras either, but what good did that do for her?
You...you've murdered an innocent.
I warned you... I warned you that I'd have to...


--07-- <BGM: O Glorious Sword of Light>
Price drew his sword and narrowed his gaze, glaring at me with deadly intent.
Other people began to gather on the shorter bridge, curious as to what was happening.

"No...no, please, I...I didn't..."

--08-- <O Glorious Sword of Light>
(Price)
You have to be stopped, before anyone else dies.
...
I will do what I must.


--09-- <BGM: Deux Ex Machina>
Redire slowly and menacingly drew near, as if reluctant to strike.
Someone in the growing crowd screamed, noticing Devin's corpse.
I backed away as Redire approached.
I...I can't fight him...!

--10-- <BGM: Deux Ex Machina>
I won't. But that only leaves me one thing to do...
I ran. I ran past him, and down the long bridge leading across the lake.
I ran as fast as I could.


--11--
I'm faster than any human.
Redire tried to pursue, but quickly fell behind.
I'm sorry...I know I shouldn't...
He shouted after me as he slowed to a walk and gave up the chase.

--12-- <Deux Ex Machina>
(Price)
Running won't help you!
You *will* answer for what you've done, one way or another!
To both that boy, and to Esras!
You'll have nowhere to hide by daybreak!

--13-- <BGM: Deux Ex Machina>
I ran for as long as I could, as long as my stamina held out...
The commotion of screams and shouts faded away.
I got as far as the Sen Mag plains before I had to stop to rest myself...


--14-- [Scene: Sen Mag] <BGM: Nameless Tombstone>
It felt like my lungs were burning...
I doubled over from exhaustion, taking deep, heavy breaths.
I really don't have the endurance I used to...
Not too long ago I could've run all the way to Bangor.

--15-- <BGM: Nameless Tombstone>
How did it come to this? I don't understand what just happened...!
Devin... He'd...proposed to me. I accepted...
We kissed...and then something happened...as if I had...drained his life away...?


--16-- <BGM: Nameless Tombstone>
It had been my first kiss...and it'll probably be the last.
I wiped my tears away, but it did no good; they were soon replaced.
I... I really had loved him, even if I didn't have the words to say it.


--17-- <BGM: Death March>
As soon as I'd caught my breath, I heard...a strange sound.
A sound like...dozens of heavy metal boots on the march.
It's growing louder...
They're *really* after me this time!

--18-- <BGM: Death March>
I truly deserve it now, but my own selfish desires won't let me give myself up.
I...don't want to be caught...
So I ran, to the east end of the plain, to the moongate.
Where can I go?

19-- <BGM: Death March>
I wouldn't mind getting the things from my house, at least what I can carry.
I may never get another chance.
It might be...it might be time to...leave Uladh entirely...


--20-- [Scene: Dugald Aisle] <BGM: Death March>
Carefully, I went through to the logging camp... Uh-oh. There's already guards here?!
One immediately spotted me!

"There! It's the murderer! Get her!"
Nope. I immediately retreated back.
--21-- [Scene: Sen Mag] <BGM: Death March>
So much for that idea.
I hadn't left anything indispensable at home, but what I did leave there is as good as gone.
Redire wasn't kidding. How else could they be looking for me so fast?


--22-- [Scene: Dunbarton] <BGM: Death March>
I tried going through to the Dunbarton moongate.
A group of guards was already deployed at the city's west entrance...
Bad news gets around the world before good news gets its shoes on.


--23-- [Scene: Sen Mag] <BGM: Death March>
I didn't linger more than a few seconds, before withdrawing back to the Moongate at Sen Mag.
Why...why is this happening to me?
I don't have anywhere to run...
I guess...I'll have to hide...?

--24-- <BGM: Death March>
I warily went through the Moongate once more, to the gate near Rabbie Dungeon.
I quickly looked around me... Nobody was around, at least no one that I could see in the dim twilight.
I went inside.


--25-- [Scene: Rabbie Dungeon] <BGM: A Safe Zone>
The stony countenance of Morrighan looked down upon me.
Once I had found that visage to be...serene.
Now, the statue seems to look down on me with contempt.
Maybe the real thing feels the same...

--26-- <BGM: A Safe Zone>
I suspect the only reason I haven't already incurred some form of divine wrath is that
she has her hands full with bigger problems at the moment...
Or maybe this mess *is* her work...?


--27-- <BGM: A Safe Zone>
I need to offer something...unique, so that I can't be followed.
For a moment, I thought of the ring on my finger...
No. Absolutely not.
It's all I have left of Devin now... I'll keep it forever.

--28-- <BGM: A Safe Zone>
Instead, I took several potions of different types, and mixed small amounts of them into an empty potion bottle,
in random unmeasured amounts even I'd never be able to precisely replicate.



--29-- <BGM: A Safe Zone>
The resulting vial of brownish sludge offended the senses in more than one way.
I put the noxious concoction down and was whisked away;
to a deep, dark place none had been to, where none could follow.


--30-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
I'm safe here--as safe as one can be in a dungeon--but I can't hide forever...

How did it come to this?
How, in a matter of minutes, had I gone from hopeful blushing bride to a fugitive and a pariah?

--31-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
My life's been destroyed...just like that...
My home... My friends... My...fiance...
Gone.
The ring on my finger suddenly felt a lot heavier...
I started crying all over again...
--32-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
Without intending or trying, I'd done the unthinkable, killed the unkillable, and my future
now lay in ruins without my having a say in it...
Vivian'll never forgive me, no matter what I say to her...


--33-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
But...maybe this was for the best.
I had deluded myself into thinking I could have any sort of normal life;
that the fell powers within me would never rise to the surface again.
It was self-delusion.

--34-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
For my refusal to accept my nature, the man I loved paid for it with his life...
I can't be around people any more.
If I can kill with a kiss, who's to say I can't do so with even less?


--35-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
In my haste to hide, I'd made no provisions for warmth or comfort.
I think I'll have to get used to a rough life from now on.
I don't have any place left in this world where I belong anymore...


--36-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
It's...almost surreal. Part of me hopes this is all a bad dream, something I can wake up from,
and it'll all be normal again...that it'll all be fixed...
No. No more clinging to impossible dreams!


--37-- [Scene: none]
I huddled up into a fetal position beside the statue and out of its disapproving glare,
trying to keep myself as warm as I could in the cold darkness, then cried myself to sleep.



--38-- [Scene: Rabbie Dungeon] <BGM: Scene 08>
I awoke from a terrifying nightmare...
The memory of it was rapidly slipping away, but...there had been a raging inferno,
consuming everything and everyone I knew, and...I probably caused it...


--39-- <BGM: Scene 08>
Wait...I hear...music? Singing? It's...coming from the depths of the dungeon.
I can barely hear it...
An enticing, ethereal melody...
The faint music from the deep...is calling to me...

--40-- <BGM: Scene 08>
It calls out, saying without words, 'find me and you'll have your answers.'
I felt compelled to seek out its source.

I know I said I'd stop looking, but now, more than ever, I *have* to know myself...

[end of chapter]