[Kenji] The Best Best Man

The Best Best Man


Okay, it's now time to panic. In less than ten minutes, I'm going to be walking up the aisle and saying my vows to the love of my life. I'm jumping around lightly and flapping my hands around every which way to calm my nerves, but nothing seems to be happening. I can't believe what's about to happen, as if you even told me that I would be alive ten years after my accident, let alone getting married, I would have laughed at you and called you a moron. I've got all of my close friends with me today, which is encouraging, yet none of them have gotten hitched yet. I have to continue taking their advice with a grain of salt, which kind of sucks and makes me feel bad at the same time. As I continue to pace around the room, I hear a brief series of loud knocks at the door.

"Hisao, you good bro?" A wave of relief hits me as I hear Kenji's voice on the opposite side of the door, a satisfying thing considering my mind should slowly get out of panic mode. I quickly react and open up the door, his face recoiling in reaction to my appearance.

"Dude, you look pretty bad."

"Don't have to tell me twice, Kenji." He steps past me into the room as I slam the door behind him, pacing around the room for another moment before taking a seat on an a small fold out chair. I bring my hands up and rub my temples a bit, trying to relieve my head of the pains and thoughts that have been running through it for the past hour. I was perfectly fine getting ready, but now that the moment has actually come, my head feels like it's gotten smashed by fifteen aluminum baseball bats.

Kenji looks at me with a massive grin on his face. This guy has been so excited about me getting married, simply because he knows once those final words are spoken, he'll be able to get absolutely smashed at the reception. Besides that, he actually gave my soon to be wife his 'Not A Feminist' seal of approval, something that actually made me quite happy. He's practically bouncing off the walls with his nerves, absolutely in the opposite corner of mine. His face drops once again as he's reminded of my destructive state, as shown when he moves over to me and takes a seat on the chair beside me.

"You going to be able to do this, man?"

"I sure as hell hope so." My heart rate feels as erratic as it has in nearly five years, racing at various uneven beats. He reaches over and places his hand on my shoulder, nearly missing at first due to his worse than poor eyesight.

"Bro, let me tell you something." Oh boy, here we go. Kenji stands up and begins walking back and forth in front me, as if he was a squad leader walking in front of his troops.  "We've been to hell and back together. We've spoiled various plots and agendas set in motion by the feminists for fucks sake!" He takes a moment and pushes his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose, as they nearly flew off while he acted out the final portion.

"This is a place where you can open a new door, brother. Not just new doors into things like feminist doings and what not, as I've already told you, your bitch isn't a feminist. But, you're opening doors up to a good future!" He catches me off guard with this segment. This may be, in the ten years that I've known Kenji, that he has actually said something slightly logical. I smile at this, my nerves slowly starting to calm down.

"This woman is the best thing that has happened to you, and I don't even know what kind of shit you were involved in before you came to Yamaku. She's set you straight man, put you on the right path with your future! You can't tell me this is going to be difficult for Hisao, the best bro that some blind bastard could ask for in life, is going to struggle with something as small as this. There's absolutely no way you won't go up there, say your words, get a buzz and smash that woman tonight, man. I've had more difficulty pissing with morning wood than you should have up at that alter!"

With those final words, I stand up and wrap the batshit insane man in front of me in the biggest hug I've ever given to a man before. I'm still laughing pretty hard at the last comparsion he tossed at me there, but I can't say that it certainly wasn't a mood lifter. He smiles heavily and gives me a big squeeze back, releasing first and giving me a huge smack on the back.

"Kenji, you have no idea how much you've just helped me."

"It's cool, bro. Just promise that we're going to get absolutely hammered tonight?"

"Absolutely." That gets me another big grin and smash on the back as I turn to head out of the room, ready as I'll ever be to walk up that aisle and say my vows.

"Go get 'em, tiger."