Tyrion's Christmas Miracle.

Tyrion's Christmas Miracle.

The story of how Tyrion lost his anal virginity, and a Christmas miracle was born.

It was a warm sunny day, and Tyrion stepped outside, his skin glistening in the sunlight.
He left his summer home, and walked down towards the beach, where he seen a few europoors.

He waved to them, and all they said in return was "Cyka blyat, babushka", they started advancing on Tyrion.
Tyrion turned to run, but slipped and fell his behind, making the noise "Ya, yamatai", the europoors smiled evilly and ran towards him.

Tyrion climbed into a small cave, and began to cry while making the noises "Ya, yamatai", he crawled into the fetal position, and a small puddle of urine began to form around him.

The europoors reached their hands in grabbed Tyrion by his feet, and pulled him out of the cave, grinning with glee.
Tyrion cried for help, but everyone ignored him.
The europoors managed to mumble one comprehensible word, their names, "Luke cyka", and "Denis cyka", Tyrion assumed that was their names, but it didn't matter now.

They began to pull Tyrion's shorts down, while making the noises "Hork hork hork", while Tyrion screamed "Ya, yamatai"
The blonde one pulled his pathetic micropenis out of his Adidas boxer shorts and pushed it into Tyrions anus.

Tyrion screamed in pain, "Ya, yamatai", while the europoors howled, "Hork hork hork".

Several hours passed by while the europoors took turns pounding Tyrion's Briton anus, while occasionally howling, "Hork hork hork".

Tyrion was sick several times due to the pain and psychological torture he was experiencing.

Suddenly, a shape emerged from the water, could it be? It was Vladimir Putin riding Jennifer Lawrence https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ec/c4/25/ecc42533fd5de14ca695c3fe8b7d9826.jpg

Vladimir touched the europoors and they instantly turned to stone.
Tyrion was about to thank Vladimir, when he grinned, and advanced towards him.

After several hours, Tyrion's anus was red raw, and he was aching all over, but a miracle happened, Vladimir muttered, "Muzt nuke Amerika", and he travelled into the sky with his heavenly steed.

Tyrion returned to his summer home, and spent all night in the shower after his ordeal, crying "Ya, yamatai"


1 month went by, and Tyrion discovered something awful, he was pregnant.
He cried and cried and drank heavily to try and kill the biological abomination that was growing inside his non-existent womb.

On a cold Christmas night, the Fourth Reich gained traction in the west, lead by a certain Ryan Himmler, Tyrion felt wet in his boxers.

He checked, and oh no! His waters have broken, he rushed to his stable where he kept horses to produce his illegal bestiality videos that were quite popular in Pakistan.

He lay down on some hay, and he felt like a massive shit was erupting, but in reality, a child's head was crowning.
Tyrion cried, "Ya, yamatai", and pushed with all his might.

After hours of pushing, the child finally was realized from Tyrion's bowels.
As Tyrion gazed at this abomination's face, he was shocked to see it was Vladimir Putin's child http://i.imgur.com/KZwO815.jpg

He hugged his child, and that night on the 25th of December, 2015. Tyrion Lannister killed his demon spawn in the hopes God would forgive him for bring an impossible creature into this universe.

Tyrion sat down in his comfy chair, and sipped a cup of hot chocolate, and wished his husbands Shaquille O'Neill's children a merry Christmas.

He did not speak of this event to anyone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwSCiUfgNic
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On September 11th, 2001, Harland Kearney put down the bong, and wondered if he was still mentally stable after the horrific hallicination he had seen.

Look at the images, and the watch the video at the end, it's better that way.