Safety Dance (005) ((Mane6, Anon, Random))

Original Thread
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archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/S18350513



Reviews and Comments
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Dancy Anon : Dancy Anon here, enjoying this
Scribble : So... You've come back...
Anon : This is good
Anon : Fucking beautiful. I'll be keeping an eye on your pastebin. Keep up the good work.



Safety Dance by NotScribble
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>>18350552
>Anon the Dance-God teaches pones to dance
i was hoping to hear more suggestions, but i honestly liked this idea as soon as i read it.



>Anon slumps down into a chair and allows his face to plant firmly into the empty table in front of him.
>Ponyville was interesting when he first arrived, but it sure lost its magic quickly.
>Anon chuckles to himself over his lame pun before sighing.
>He must really be that bored.
>He hears the clip-clop of hoofsteps approaching his table.
>He allows his head to roll over on its side so he can see who it is.
>Twilight was happily carrying their food trays towards the table, humming a melody to herself all the while.
>Anon sat up and allowed Twilight to slide the tray onto the surface his face warmed up.
>"Here ya go."
>She then places her own tray and takes a seat across from Anon.
>Anon looks down at her tray. It contained the usual pony spread. Some hay fries and a flower burger of some sort.
>Anon considered how they manage to fry hay as he looked down at his own tray of the omnivore variety.
>At least what passed as omnivore variety around here.
>Turns out ponies don't kill animals, which can sometimes be a problem for someone who has grown up consuming countless animals.
>Anon picks up and apple slice and takes a bite while poking at his eggs with his fork.

>Twilight looks up at Anon, not realizing a flower petal was clinging to her lower lip.
>"Something wrong, Anon?"
>Anon doesn't look up from his egg poking as he shrugs.
"Just feeling a little out of it today I guess."
>"Oh, uh, is there anything I can do to help?"
"I doubt it, since even I'm not sure what's wrong today."
>Twilight is disappointed she can't do anything to help, but continues eating her food.
>Anon pops the remainder of his apple slice into his mouth and crosses his arms on the table in front of him.
>He starts looking around the town at each of the ponies.
>They all seemed happy enough.
>What was he missing?
>A particularly fit mare struts by and Anon finds his eyes drifting towards her flank for reasons that were totally not sexual at all.
>He studies her cutie mark.
>What was that even supposed to represent?
>He begins taking in each pony's cutie mark as they walk by.
>Slowly, a realization creeps into his rather sluggish mind.
"Huh."
>Twilight moves her focus away from her food once again and looks up at Anon, her mouth filled with mostly chewed flowers.
>"Hm?"
"Huh?"
>Anon looks over at Twilight as she swallows her mush of sustenance.
>"Did you say something?"
>Anon twiddles his thumbs as he considers things.
"I think I know why I've been kinda bummed lately."
>Twilight tilts her head slightly.
>"Oh?"

>Anon nods.
"I enjoy working with you guys on your little projects, and helping AJ with her farm work once in a while, but..."
>Anon's words trail off as he allows himself to look out into the distance at nothing in particular.
>Twilight waits patiently, and even notices the flower petal that had managed to stay connected to her lower lip her entire meal.
"I never contribute anything of my own. I'm always helping everyone with their things."
>He looks back at Twilight.
"I guess to put it another way, I have no purpose. I pretty much just exist."
>Twilight nods and she considers his words.
>"What did you want to do?"
"I honestly don't know."
>Twilight slides her tray out of the way and leans on the table with her right foreleg.
>"Well, what are you good at?"
>Anon looks down as he thinks about it.
>What was he good at?
>Most of the stuff he was good at held no relevance in this world.
>He began shaking his head at each talent that was now useless in the pony world as it crossed his mind.
>No. No. No. No. No. N-Maybe?
>His eyebrows raised slightly as he considered the possibility.
"Uh... Most of the stuff I did in my own world isn't available here. Except maybe..."
>Anon shrugs at Twilight.
"Dancing?"

>A smile spreads across Twilight's face as she repositions herself to sit straight again before slamming her hooves on the table.
>"You can dance?!"
>The sudden thud caused Anon, as well as many nearby patrons to flinch.
>Anon allowed his eyes to drift to the side once more.
"Well, yeah, I think I'm pretty good. More or less."
>Twilight allows herself to laugh.
>"That's great! You know, I've been told I have a very interesting dance style, myself. Not that I'm bragging- Just throwing it out there in case you want to dance with somepony."
>Twilight tries to imagine a big lanky thing like Anon dancing around.
>She chuckles uncontrollably at the idea.
>Anon does a fake stretch with his arms outstretched in front of him, attempting to break the tension he feels.
"Yeah, sure, that could be fun I guess."
>Twilight claps her hooves together a few times.
>"Alright, let's do it later today. How about you show all of us how you dance?"
>Anon ceases his fake stretches.
>They weren't helping at all.
"Uh, we?"
>"All of our friends. Oh, how about we meet at Rarity's? She has a nice, big empty floor she uses as a stage when displaying designs to potential clients."
"I guess we could-"
>Twilight hops up and begins trotting back towards her house, positively glowing.
>"Great! See you soon."
"-Try... it, later."
>Anon slouches and looks down at his food.
>Might as well finish it.
>He picks up another apple slice and continues poking his eggs.

>After what feels like not nearly enough time, Anon's tray is thoroughly cleaned of the food that once rested there.
>He sighs and stands up, then begins his trek towards Rarity's house.
"Maybe it won't be so bad. I mean, it's not like this is high school. They're just a bunch of ponies."
>He shudders.
>There was an intense rivalry between high school dance teams where he came from.
>His team had been somewhere in the middle for the most part, but power fluctuated constantly as people's parents moved to and from the area.
>Towards the end, their team was nearing the top, which of course attracted unwanted attention to the individual dancers.
>Anon had been among the best at his own school, so he was targeted first.
>The top rival dance team had cornered him in an alley on the way home from school.
>There, a legendary dance battle took place.
>Anon had done his best to defeat them all, but he was alone, and there were so many of them.
>He couldn't possibly keep up with their combined moves.
>They left him there, broken in that well-lit alley.
>A shadow of his former self.
>He swore he'd never dance against another large group of rival dancers alone in a well-lit alleyway ever again.
>His thoughts had kept him occupied all the way to Rarity's house.
>He looked up at the door and knocked.

>The door flung open a few moments later with Rarity humming to herself.
>"Hello, darling. Twilight has told me you wish to teach us some of your dancing techniques?"
>Anon enters the abode and Rarity shuts the door behind him.
"Yeah, I'm gonna give it a shot."
>Rarity turns and examines Anon.
>"Surely you aren't going to stay dressed like that, are you?"
>Anon looks around the room.
>No one else is here yet.
>Twilight must be off gathering everyone else still.
>He then turns his attention back to Rarity.
"What do you mean? I always wear these. I even sleep in these."
>Rarity is taken aback.
>"What do you mean? Where are all the fabulous clothes I made you?"
>Anon flinches at the question.
"Oh, uh, they're... around still. I just like these ones the most."
>"Those hardly look comfortable. I know for a fact that the materials I used to fashion your pajamas were far more breathable and flexible."
>Anon looks down and mumbles to himself.
"Except they were hot pink and flowery..."
>Rarity leans in closer.
>"Pardon?"
"I said I'll have to find them later. Where is everyone?"
>Rarity brushes a hoof through her hair.
>"Twilight had a few errands to wrap up before she could come, and the others will be along shortly."
>Rarity trots over to her workstation.
>"While we wait, I'll create a dashing outfit for you to wear. You can place your... Er, 'good' clothes off to the side until we're finished."
>Anon rolls his eyes and begins taking off his clothes.
>She had made him enough outfits to last multiple lifetimes.
>She claimed it was exciting creating for such a 'unique species.'
>He knew full well there was no arguing with her.
>He sat quietly nearby on the floor with his legs folded and waited for her new 'masterpiece.'

>The minutes pass with the gentle whirr of the sewing machine.
>Anon becomes increasingly bored.
>His head is resting gently in his hands as he continues sitting on the floor.
>He briefly considers asking if Rarity could use more masculine colors, but decides against it.
>Every time he tries to get her to change something, she insists that she knows what she's doing, and that she's not going through 'that' ordeal again.
>Whatever that means.
>His eyes begin to grow heavy.
>The sound of the machine is surprisingly peaceful.
>"P-FEWWW!!"
>The door explodes open in a rain of confetti.
>Rarity screams for an instant and whips around.
>Anon flinches so hard that he nearly knees himself in the face.
>Pinkie comes bouncing into the boutique.
>"Surprise!"
>She quickly bounces over to Anon and leans right up to his face.
>"Were you surprised? You sure look surprised. It took forever to get the party canon to work on doors. Hey, where are your clothes? Is it opposite day? Should I be wearing clothes?"
>Rarity huffs.
>"Pinkie Pie, honestly, must you come barging in here with your confetti and loud noises? I am trying to concentrate."
>She returns to her work.
>Pinkie sits next to Anon and makes a zipping motion over her lips.
>Anon rolls his eyes.
>Yeah right.
>He looks back over at Pinkie, and she meets his gaze.
>She grins and then just continues staring at him for a moment.
>Anon sits patiently, staring back at Pinkie with his eyes partially closed.
>Pinkie begins glancing around and tapping her hoof.
>"Anon, is it true you're an amazing dancer? Because I can't wait to see!"
>Anon raises his hand, palm up as he gently bows his head.
>Pinkie Pie, ladies and gentlemen.

>Rarity shakes her head and continues her work.
"Yeah, I'm gonna do what I can."
>Pinkie's grin grows even larger.
>It looks painful.
>"I dance sometimes. And sing. And cook. Sometimes all at once."
"I know."
>"But you must be amazing at it, since you haven't really done anything else. Is it your special talent? I don't see a cutie mark."
>There once was a time in the distant past when being naked in front of ponies was extremely uncomfortable.
>Even though they don't normally wear clothes, Anon always felt like he had to.
>Since that time, not as much as he would like has changed.
>He's alright without clothes, unless a pony directly points it out.
>Afterwords he's reminded that he's not a pony.
>He's very human.
>His face turns a very light shade of red.
"Humans never get cutie marks. I've told you this... I can't even keep track anymore."
>Pinkie nods.
>"Oh I know that, silly, but 'maybe' you'll be the first one who gets one! Wouldn't that be great?!"
>Anon thinks about all the butt tattoos in his own world.
>Perhaps that's not a good thing to share.
"I doubt it, Pinkie."
>Rarity whirls around, holding her new creation up in front of her.
>"Voila!"
>Anon stands up and Rarity hands him his new outfit.
>He begins putting it on.
"What is this?"
>As he pulls the outfit on, he begins to realize it's tight.
>Like really tight.
"Is this..."
>He tugs at the fabric, stretching it out with his fingers and letting it snap back into place.
"Is this spandex?"
>"Why yes. It's simply divine, is it not? With this fabric you can move about freely."
>Anon suddenly wished he could simply be naked again.
>Not that this was far from it.
>At least it was more masculine this time, being a shade of what appeared to be very dark blue.
>He used the term 'masculine' lightly.

>Of course, right when he put on the extremely revealing spandex dancing suit, the rest of the gang walked through the door.
>Twilight still looked surprisingly similar to the way she looked when she left you at your table.
>Guess her errands weren't as stressful as she usually claims.
>They all stop shortly after entering the door and look at Anon.
>They all tilt their heads at the same time, except Rainbow Dash, who wastes no time falling on the ground laughing.
>Anon rolls his eyes.
>He makes a mental note to try not to do that so much in spandex.
"Rarity made it."
>Rarity brushes her hair to the side once more and flutters her eyelashes, awaiting her praise.
>Twilight is the first to snap out of the fugue state.
>"Oh, it looks, uh... Good, Rarity. Seems pretty comfortable..."
>Fluttershy goes next.
>"It looks... nice."
>Applejack scratches her head.
>"Looks a might uncomfortable, Anon. Are you gonna be alright in that gettup?"
"It should serve its intended purpose, yeah."
>Anon would really like to get this over with.
"Can we just do this?"
>Twilight nods.
>"Sure, what should we do first?"
>Rainbow Dash finally manages to sit up and tries her best to stifle her laughter as she speaks.
>"Heh... L-look at that bulge. It's crushing him, bwahahaa!"
>She manages to stay in the sitting position, even as she laughs.
>Applejack gives her a smack to the back of the head and glares at her.
>"I think you look pretty cool, Anon."
>Spike steps out from behind Twilight.
>He looks nervous.
>He was also obviously lying.
>Anon grins.
"Thanks, bro."
>Spike shrugs.
"Alright, line up."
>The ponies look around at each other.
"You didn't think I'd just be dancing in front of all of you, did you? You're going to participate."

>Rainbow Dash ceases her laughter.
>Twilight's face lights up. She's obviously excited.
>Rarity eloquently trots over to the rest of the group, wearing a spandex outfit of her own.
>When did she even put that on?
>Fluttershy isn't as nervous as she usually is, considering she's only among friends.
>Applejack crosses her front legs and grins.
>You know she's danced before, plenty of times.
>She probably even wants to outdo Anon.
>Pinkie bounces up and down next to the rest of the group.
>Spike stands to the side and plays with his claws.
"Spike?"
>"Oh, uh, I'm gonna sit this one out. Thanks, though."
>Anon shrugs and begins pacing in front of his new group of hopefuls, eying each of them.
"So this is what I have to work with?"
>Suddenly it feels just like he's back in his world, teaching his old group of dance flunkies the very basics of getting down.
>Minus this severely gay suit.
>The ponies just stand at attention.
"Let's see if you're not entirely hopeless. Can you do some basic steps?"
>Anon performs a simple maneuver of sliding to one side, dragging one foot and then snapping it into place.
>The group attempts to mimic him to the best of their ability.
>It's a little more difficult to translate dance steps from biped to quadruped.
>It's simple enough that they seem to get it.
"One of the most important dance moves is spirit fingers."
>Anon bends his elbows and throws his arms down to his sides as he dextrously wiggles each individual finger.
>The ponies look down at their hooves.
>Anon laughs to himself for a moment, then realizes it's not as funny as he had imagined it would be.
>Jokes that only you get kind of suck.

>The ponies look back up and grin towards Anon.
>Anon follows their gaze down.
>Spike is standing next to him, performing a perfect replica of spirit fingers.
>Anon nods.
"Nice."
>Spike looks up at him and grins.
>Anon taps his right foot out in front of him.
>Spike mimics the motion.
>He then sweeps his foot to the right in a quarter circle over to his side.
>Spike keeps up.
>Anon begins a very slow paced tap dance he had learned back in his glory days.
>Surprisingly, Spike catches on fairly quickly.
>Both of them begin laughing as the speed increases.
>They've both largely forgotten about the ponies they were supposed to be teaching.
>This is far more fun.
>They continue to dance on through the night.
>Turns out Spike was already familiar with a few dance moves.
>Who knew this dragon had such funk?
>The two of them refined their routine as they went, until they could flawlessly moonwalk past each other in perfect synchronization.
>Hours had passed, and the ponies had simply given up trying, but were enjoying the show.
>Finally, their dance concluded with each of them throwing their right arm into the air and tilting their head down.
>Wind spontaneously appeared from nowhere and blew through Anon's hair.
>It blew through Spike's as well, but was far less noticeable.
>The ponies stomped their hooves on the ground and cheered.
>Spike grinned up at Anon, gasping for breath.
>Anon looked down at him and grinned as well.
>Suddenly, Anon felt a weird sensation on his ass that he couldn't describe.
"What the?"
>Anon pulls the spandex suit down passed his ass so he can see what had happened.
>An image of a white fedora had appeared on either side of his ass cheeks.
>Pinkie Pie jumped up and down and cheered.
>"You did it Anon! You got your cutie mark!"
>Anon continued staring at the image.
"What the f-"
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