Henderson continue to mutter to himself as he stalked away towards the guard, but in a fraction of a second, everything changed. His usual gait, best described as “racist zombie”, shifted into a confident stride, and he gained a casual air not at all like his normal dismissal of all things unrelated to gnomes. Henderson walked up to the guard like it was his first time falling in love and leaned softly against the nearby wall, tipping his aviator shades down just slightly enough to lock eyes with the gruff man.

“Hey.”

The guard stared him down like a rottweiler eyeing up a cat just inches from the end of its chain. “Step away.”

Henderson looked hurt. “Don’t be like that, I just wanted to chat. You know, I’ve had my eyes on you ever since I got here.” He stepped closer, eyeing up the guard like a piece of meat. “Those biceps… those thighs…” His eyes trailed up to the man’s square, tough, confused face. “...That beard…”

“You-” the guard began. “I- ...Step. Away.”

“Look, I’m sure they told you about everyone that comes through here,” Henderson said. “I can show you things you can’t imagine. You know I can.” He nodded to a nearby door. “No one has to know.”

The guard seemed to be seriously conflicted. Nearby, Wendy was trying really hard not to throw up in her mouth, and sort of failing. “L-Look, I don’t-”

“Swing that way?” Henderson asked. “You will if you let me say one thing.” He gestured with a finger, and the guard leaned in closer. Henderson’s voice dropped to a whisper, and his lips hovered within an inch of the guard’s ear.

At the other end of the hall, Wendy tried to strain to listen, despite the fact that she wasn’t sure she even wanted to know. To her surprise, the guard’s eyes went wide and he nodded enthusiastically, allowing himself to be led by the hand into the closet. Henderson closed the door behind them, throwing Wendy a quick thumbs-up as he did. After about five minutes, Henderson returned, adjusting his shirt as he downed a couple mints.

“What happened?” Wendy asked. “Did you get his guard down and choke him out?”

Henderson chuckled. “You kiddin’? These fuckin’ guards’re way too strong to fight.” Wendy thought about that for a second then gasped loudly, her mouth hanging open in shock. Henderson nodded. “Now you’re gettin’ it. Let’s go interrogate some gnome-stealin’ fuckers.”

- FreestyleKneepad's Round 0