Truths revealed

	“Eri, there's something I need to tell you.”
	Eridana looked across the couch as Guff sat the remote control down on the table in front of them.
	“Oh?” She tilted her head slightly, wide black eyes focused on the young man. “And what's that, dear?”
	He shifted on his side of the couch, staring off into space. Furled brow and set jaw. Anger played out across his features often enough, but the look of concern and...trepidation? Trepidation was an emotion he didn't play out much. Guff leaned back into the back cushion of the couch they sat together on, and crossed his arms.
	“I haven't.” He paused. “I haven't been entirely fucking truthful with you about some shit, Eri. Think it's about fucking time I finally came out and told you everything.”
	She sat up from her curled position on the sofa, large eyes fixed on him.
	“Guff. What's wrong. This isn't like you.”
	He looked away from her as if she just slapped him.
	“Listen, Eri.” He refused to so much as look her in the eye. “There's a fucking lot I've been keeping from you. At this point, I'm not even fucking sure you can say what is or isn't like me. I'm afraid you wouldn't accept me for who I am if you knew what that actually meant.”
	She leaned over, and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.
	“What have you been hiding from me.” Her whole body tensed up when he pulled away from her grasp. “Guff. Please tell me. What's wrong.”
	After an eternity of staring off into the wall away from her, he turned and met her gaze. He looked tired. Worn out from all the lies and the secrets.
	“Eri.” His voice was faint. “All those nights I've been away. The days where I've up and vanished without a fucking trace.” His hoarse whisper almost trailed away into nothing. “I've been...I've been leading a double life for as long as you've fucking known me.”

	Eridana pulled back in shock, bright white pupils locked onto the man she thought she once knew.
	“I can't. I can't go on lying to you about this. Lying to June about this. The absolute truth of the fucking matter.” He reached towards her with a trembling hand and stroked her soft cheek. “This whole fucking time. As long as you've known me, I've actually been...a superhero.”
	“What.” She froze, mouth agape. “A...A superhero?”
	Once again he turned away from her. “That's right. Every night I'm gone. Every fucking day you don't hear from me. I go out, I put on a mask and costume, and I fight crime.”
	“Guff, I...” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I don't understand.”
	“I don't fucking remember what led me to it, at first.” He screwed his eyes shut, tears welling up on his side now. “But the mask is who I am. What I am. They call me Captain McGoFuckYourself. I don't know if you've heard the stories out there, but I partner up with the demon that lives inside me, the Hatemonger. And we deliver justice to those who do wrong.”

	Twenty feet away, in the apartment's kitchenette, the red specter threw a dish into the water-filled sink and scrubbed at it with a sponge.
	“Oh for god's sake, child.” He muttered beneath his breath.

	Eridana looked away from him. For several heavy seconds, the apartment was silent. Well, save for the splashing of the irritated specter washing dishes. Her lithe body trembled as she processed the new information about him.
	“Guff. Captain McGoFuckyourself. I must be honest as well. I haven't been truthful with you, either. There have been secrets of my own. A life I've also led behind your back.”
	“What?” He gasped, looking back at her. “Waddya fucking mean, Eri?”
	“What I mean is.” Slowly, ever so slowly, she looked back up at him. “I'm not...entirely human.”
	“Not...” Now it was his jaw that fell. “The fuck do you mean 'not entirely human'?”
	She sighed, eyes wandering up to look at his confused expression. With a resounding crack, two massive bat-like wings tore themselves from her back. A thousand rippling spines sprouted from her skin, and her entire jaw cracked open twice as far as it rightfully belonged, revealing row upon row of serrated teeth.
	“Holy fuck that's ho- I mean.” He shook his head. “My fucking god, Eri! You're...You're a monster!”
	“A monster from beyond the stars. A dread alien, come down to feast upon the creatures of this planet and consume their tissues.” The abomination looked down with an almost bashful expression. “How could anyone love a creature such as this?”
	“I...I don't know. How could anyone love a liar such as myself?”
	“Perhaps we could make do.” Small crunches and cracks filled the small apartment as her features reassembled themselves into her voluptuous form. “The two of us, imperfect though we may be. What else could we ask for? Who else do we deserve?”
	“Eridana...”
	“Guffy….”
	With a heartful cry, the couple fell into each other's arms, sobbing as they accepted themselves for who they were.

	Hatemonger scowled, glancing back at them.
	“I swear to fucking god, if I ever catch them watching those ridiculous soap operas again I'm throwing that goddamn television out a window.”