Thread 80: Stories 16-30

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NC
>AB
"???"
~~~

>Ya' know what? Screw this! Ah'm gonna find out where mah' sister is and-

"OH DEAR CELESTIA WHY IS IT ALL HAPPENING TODAYYYYY!?"

>...Maybe later.

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NC
>Canterlots citizen
"CC2"
~~~~~~

>Do you feel like... we're missing something?

"...OH DEAR CELESTIA!"

>What!?

"Half off donuts at Pony Joes!"

>HALF OFF!? THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING GOING ON RIGHT NOW!

"THE MOST!"

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>WHELP! THERE GOES OUR STREAK!

"...Our streak that came off of being locked away, after being ENSLAVED?"

>...shutup.

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 >Chrysalis
"??"
~~~~~~

>Damn.

Her sentiment rang true throughout her entire being. Simple, but true.

>Damn.

She had been so hopeful that they would choose that their Empire was more worth salvation than the life of a single pony mind, but she had underestimated Cadence, again. She could see Shining deliberating it, thinking it over, but the moment Cadence spoke out against it he crumbled like cards in the wind. She had him wrapped around her little hoof, and Chrysalis wondered if she ever really realized just how much.

>Damn damn damn.

She knew she had been gambling revealing the truth to them, but it was the only way to shift the blame if Sunset somehow survived, it was the only way to keep herself from being seen as the one who orchestrated the death of Applejack's student. But now that they knew, it would be impossible to hide it, regardless.

She had rolled the dice, and she lost.

>Damn damn damn damn DAMN!

Her soldiers were fighting. They were fighting with everything they had, just as they had so many times before.

But, she supposed, at least the Empire appreciated the effort, unlike Canterlot. Not that that mattered.

>DAMN!

She needed to finish setting up with her plan C. Her only hope now. Her only chance...

>Are you okay?

The figure still dusting herself off glared at her, looking up at her with red-rimmed eyes.

"No, I'm not okay! They're... they're wrecking so much! This is horrible! This is all so horrible!"

>I meant physically.

"I'm FINE, Chrysalis... thanks for helping me."

The last words spoken had just a touch of reluctance to them, but they were sincerely spoken.

>You might not serve me as you should, Eighteen, but...

The silence said more than any words could.

"...You have a plan, right?"

>I thought you hated my plans.

"I do... so what is it?"

The corners of her lips tugged upwards, ever so slightly.

>I hope you're not against a little risk.

"For my Empire... anything."

>Good... here's what we'll do...

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>Variolus
"???"
'Shiny'

Over the crystal city the massive changeling stood, oozing power and malevolence from every pore of her body.

>Bow before me and despair all of you who hold goodness hearts-

"YOOOOOU!"

>...what?

Variolus' gaze turned to the side, where a solitary armor clad figure stood upon a roof top, a dark energy radiating off its own body.

>...do I know you?

"BEHOLD, VILE CREATURE! YOU LOOK UPON..."

The figure threw back its head, fixing the changeling with a menacing glare.

"KING SOMBRA!"

>The ghost?

"DO I LOOK LIKE A GHOST, MONSTROSITY!? NAY! MY POWER TRANSCENDS THE REALMS SPECTRAL AND MATERIAL! I WHO ONCE REIGNED IN TERROR OVER THIS LAND AM NOW ITS STAUNCH PROTECTOR! I SHALL REAP A VENGEANCE UPON YOU THAT SHALL BANISH YOU INTO OBLIVION!"

The titanic changeling smirked.

>FINE THEN! HAVE AT ME!

"...NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! YOU SHALL COME TO ME!"

>Noooo, YOU come HERE!

"I AM A KING!"

>I'M A QUEEN!

"YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED CARDS!"

>YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED CHESS!

Slowly, Shining Armor slunk behind the set of armor.

'Sombra, I thought you said the animated armor spell was flawed...'

"Oh it is, don't tell her that."

'...you can't actually move in this thing, can you?'

"Not a step. Now go think of a way to kill her before she realizes that."

'Gotcha.'

>HEY! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME!? GET OVER HERE!

"YOU GET OVER HERE!"

>NEH!

"NEH!"

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>56
“???”
‘???’
~~~~

>Huh. Wonder what in the world I did to get this fancy lookin’ armor all of a sudden? I mean…s’cool an’ all but…how? An’ why’s it feel like next-level stuff’s happenin’ somewh-NGH!

‘A-AHN!’

“Bonny!”

>Oh snap, sorry! Sorry, my bad! I wasn’t lookin’ where I was goin’ an’…aw cripes.

“YOU!”

>Annnnn’ it’s you. Hey.

“Don’t you ‘hey’ me, you little pervert! I thought I made it perfectly clear that you were to stay away from both me and my piece of candy!”

‘…Piece of candy?’

>Yes…yes, you, uh…ya made your point with that letter an’ photo earlier….

‘…Letter and photo? What letter and photo?’

>Your crazy marefriend here sent me a-

“Oh, but I see! The thought was just too much to bear wasn’t it? The temptation too much to ignore! And look, you even put on armor!”

>Actually, the armor has nothing to do wi-

“It’s an admirable form of resistance towards your own lewd wants but alas, the fact that you’re here, plot-planting my friend is all the proof we need to see that you are still but a slave to the pleasure. Sad, but revealing.”

>…No, really. Honest. For the first time? Not intentional. Couldn’t tell ya the last time I-

“Make no excuses for I understand your troubles. Unlike me, you don’t have the pleasure of amassing yourself to such a wonderful posterior! Gaze upon it and tell me it doesn’t shine like the bonbon her name comprises of!”

‘…Wow. I’m feeling some sorta way about this, just not quite sure what.’

>Yeeeeeah, ya know what? Just gonna start backin’ away now….

“Don’t run from your perversion! You get back here and admire this booty!”

>NO! QUIT CHASIN’ ME CRAZY LADY! I GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS GOIN' ON!

‘…I still want to know about this letter and photo.’

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Spike"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Sort of Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does still matter, but I forgot to make an apperance! Now for our main guest...SPIKE!!!

"Hey."

>Now Spike, do think you'll get a chance to get even with Flash Sentry?

"I hope so. My face was-"

>Amazing answer as usual! That's our show!

"Am I going to see you fight hoof to hoof?"

>Maybe. Depends on my mood.
Spike stops zoning out.

"...heh Pinkie doing Jeet Kun Doe."

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NC
~~~

>Ok 42 did you really think blabbing to Chrysalis was the right thing to do, i mean the RIGHT thing to do?

"yes"

>I mean, yeah, it's the truth and all, but didja not think Chrysalis would try t...well...she did try to kill AJ...almost

"My Queen must know the truth"

>Don't you think you should've....assured her not to lose it?

"My Queen must know

>...Even if it sparked a war?

"Yes, for my queen cannot be denied"

>And even if I couldn't forgive her for rampaging and putting so many ponies in danger in her anger?

"My queen is my only concern"

>...Did you expect her to go nuts?

"That is not important, my hive is important"

>Did you want her to go barmy because you're mad at AJ herself? Despite how such an explosion would set everyone against each other and cause even more problems?

"....muh queen"

~~~


>If someone lost one of your citizens and left them in a place where they might be tortured and dissected, then lied to you about where they were so they could cover their own ass, would you want me to go to Chrysalis first to make sure telling you was okay because you might get 'too mad', or would you rather I told you first? This citizen is supposed to be your responsibility, not hers, after all.

"...Touche."

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 >Applejack
"Scientist"
~~~~~

>...Alright, try me.

"What?"

>Go on, plead yer' case, what possible medical reason is there fer' the giant wolf monster?

"She's technically a wolf tiger HYBRID, not a monster."

>Fine, whatever. What possible purpose does he-

"SHE!"

>Does SHE serve?

"Attacking others?"

>...that... that's it? This ain't, like, gonna cure bone-marrow cancer or somethin? It ain't secretly got the cure for the common cold in there? She ain't designed ta' be a super seeing-eye-dog or somethin'?

"What? Oh lord, no. No no no. Do not let her near blind ponies, she will smell the weakness in them."

>...This... this is actually a giant monster? That's it?

"HYBRID!"

>...

"What?

>Oh mah stars! Ah' finally found onna ya'll that ain't makin' an excuse or nothin'! Ya' just wanna make a giant monster! This is great! This is amazin', this-

'HEY!'

>...

'Stop calling me a monster! HYBRID he said, HYRBRIIIID!'

"It hurts her feelings when you call her that."

'NOT a monster!'

>...But he said ya'll attack ponies.

'I do.'

>...

'...What?'

>So what's yer' excuse?

'I wanted my husband to make me a super-wolf-tiger-thing, he said okay.'

"Totally down with it."

>.................................Husband?

'Yeeeeeeah?'

>...nope.

"Enough of this! SNOOKUMS! LET'S GET HER!"

'WOLF ROAR!'

>NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

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 >Twilight
"Security"
~~

>...Really?

"I... I... I..."

>You're really pointing that gun at me. At ME.

"I-I-I-I"

>Look, I'm not a vain mare. I'm really not, but seriously? It was one thing when I couldn't friggen get a CAB in Manehatten, but seriously? You at least get that I beat monsters all the time, right? That happened?

"Ieeeeeee...."

>You would not be alive if it was not for me and my friends. You'd be a puppet to chaos, or all taken over by one of the plants that spread everywhere, or starved in eternal night. Come on. Just... come on. No respect for that at all? Seriously?

"...eeee..."

>Just... how much does this place pay? It cannot be worth treason. It just can't.

"...I just wanted a summer gig to pay for colleeeeeggggggeeeee!"

>You realize we have scholarship programs, right?

"I'm too duuuuuuhhuhummmmmb! I don't qualifffffffffffyyyyyyyyy!"

>Oh, oh dear no, you're not dumb. Listen, everyone has parts in life they struggle with, and everyone learns differently.

"...*sniffle*... it's just really hard."

>So is college, but you want to go on to that, don't you? You've got to be willing to give it your all. And since you clearly took this job way more seriously than you should, I believe you could, if you tried.

"...I-I guess..."

>Now, come on... do you really want to do this?

"N-noooooo..."

>Thaaaaat'a boy. Put the gun doowwn.

"Okay..."

>Good. All fine now.

"...w-well... except for the cyborg snakes I let out."

>...the what now.

*WHIRRRRHISSSSSS!*

>...

"...S-sorry..."

>Maybe I jumped the gun a bit...

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 >Cguard
"Lings"
~~~~~

>...Does anyone besides me notice they're pretty damn good with short firearms?

"Hm? Oh! Yeah! We've been practicing!"

>You've been practicing with... guns?

"With guns!"

"Small guns only, though!"

"No rockets, cause we'd probably blow something up."

>So... you guys have just barely gotten moved in...

>...and you're training to use guns?

"Yep!"

"Came in REAL handy today, didn't it?"

>I mean, I guess, but, uh...

"But what?"

>...You know what? We'll talk about that later.

>AFTER we deal with the big one.

"Cool!"

"BANGABANGABANGA! HA! These things are so fun!"

>...I'm unsettled.

>You do realize there's a giant monster stepping on that place that sells your favorite bagels, right?

>...SHOOT TO KILL, LINGS!

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 >Variolus
"???"
~~

>You know, once upon a time we feared you ponies becoming victorious... I can't believe I ever-

"DON'T DO THAT!"

She paused, mere seconds away from swinging and breaking off another chunk of castle. A single, playful eye trailed over, over to a certain changeling whom she had tossed away not to long ago.

Who was, even still, wearing that unsettling wig.

>Oh, it's you again.

"Trust me, you don't want to do that!"

She couldn't help but grin at the strange earnestness in the changeling's voice.

>Oh? Because it will cause you so much... paperwork?

"Believe me, paperwork is exactly what you should be worried about!"

>...You can't be serious.

"Don't do it!"

She huffed, offput by the desperation.

>Listen, you, if you think I care about how much work you think you're going to do in the short time before I end you and all you love, I'll have you know it's completely pointless. I am Variolus, and I do as I please!

"You'll regret iiiiit."

She growled, cocking her hoof back.

>I very much doubt that.

And punching straight forwards.

>THERE! Do you see!? Your words meant... no... what magic was this?

It came slowly, filing in piece by piece, little by little.

One little paper at a time.

"I warned you..."

>What... what trickery is- GAHHHH!

It poured out like a burst dyke, coming out in wave after wave that logically should not have fit in that tiny office, defying the conversation of mass as it just kept growing, and growing, and growing.

And then it was upon her, leaving her flailing wildly as it covered her every inch.

GRAAAAAH!

"Oh dear... you made the paperwork mad."

>IT'S PAPERCUTTING MY EEEYYYYYEEEESSSS!

"Be careful! I still have to file that later!"

>RAAAAGGGHHHHHH!

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 >77
"Spike"
'???'
~~~~

>...

"Awww, come on man. Stop being like that."

>It is just becoming apparent that you all have been pushing your skills in the meantime, while I have been... stagnating.

"Well, I mean, I've been pretty stagnant too. I don't think I'm any better than I was when Chitania first struck. At least you can still fight."

>At last you've gained new weaponry.

"Weapons don't make the fighter, Seventy Seven."

>True enough.

"...Awww, come on, I'm sure you'll find your niche in a second."

>Maybe I should-

'MOOOOOOOOOO!'

>...

"...Is... is that a giant mechanical bull? Why would they have a giant mechanical bull? Why would anyone make that?"

>...

"...why are you smiling-"

>AT LAST!

"Wha-"

>EVERYONE GET THE FUCK BACK! I'VE GOT THIS SHIT!

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NC
>32
"13"
~~

>...So, uh... since you're so good at mind control, why didn't you just try to make Chitania-

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!?"

>Just saying!

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>7
"SL"
'12'
~~~~

>Well, we can all agree that was a bad area to go down.

'To be fair, I warned you that it said "Danger beyond this point"."

>THAT'S FUCKING EVERYTHING! IT'S ALL DANGER BEYOND THIS POINT! Every fucking door has that exact sign on it! The fucking BATHROOM has that sign on it!

"Now now, discount pervert, let's not get angry-"

>FUCK YOU! I'll get as angry as I want! It's because of your idiocy that we're even in this predicament in the first place!

"Do try to remember I stabbed you a second ago-"

>LASERS! I SHOOT LASERS!

"...Fair enough."

'Look, Seven, I'm sorry you got caught up in this-'

>YOU FUCKING SHOULD BE! This was supposed to be a SIMPLE MISSION! I was supposed to be in and out in under and HOUR, but then ohhh nooo! Let's sound the fucking alarm and completely ruin everything! You know the worst part? I bet they blame me. I'm not even joking, I am dead serious that I truly believe right now everyone is going "MAN! THAT SEVEN GUY SURE FUCKED UP!"

"And they call me the crazy one."

>So I'm gonna need all two of you to shut up, be nice, stop criticizing me and join me in getting the fuck out of here!

"Maybe I don't-"

THOOM!

'SWEET SALTY LOVE IN THE HIVEMIND!... You okay, Screws?'

"...I didn't like that haircut anyway, you did me a favor... pervert, put that out, I smell smoke."

'Uh, right... mayyyybe we should do what he says.'

"It does kind of seem like it's getting to him, doesn't it? How unlike a special agent-"

THOOOM!

"...I liked it better when everyone was afraid of me."

'Stop using up so much love!'

>...

'...Er, I mean, you do what you gotta do, big guy.'

>...The worst part is, Her Majesty probably doesn't even realize I'm gone, and still won't after I die.

"Fair warning, I am using that as permission to use your body for science-"

THOOOM!

"...Pfft, jokes on you, I rock the crew cut."

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