Cancel Everything (but not quite everything)

I haven't streamed in forever ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

There's been a number of factors as to why I've streamed like... once this month (twice?). Real life stuff has been a pretty big factor, work is almost finally out of the absolutely insane stage, I don't have too much for weekend plans (yet), so hopefully I'll start having just more free time in general and I won't be exhausted all the time. I've also just been enjoying hanging out in (shitting up) streams, and playing a few games offline. I downloaded Super Mario Galaxy on a whim and have been liking that a lot; also been just casually checking out stuff on the SD2SNES to try out things. Finally, my buddy got me into the Elder Scrolls CCG, and I've been liking that a lot. Been a while since I've played much of a card game, but I'm a huge fan of the Elder Scrolls universe, and this game is a lot more interesting (and so far balanced) than Hearthstone was for me. While all of that is fun for me, it would most likely be not be the best streams ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think the biggest factor that I've kind of not talked about much is the extra anxiety and pressure that I've put on myself recently. GGotM, while a lot of fun, ends up feeling like a constant deadline over my head. The other pastebin I wrote a couple weeks back was nice to give an update of what I'd like to do, but at the same time now I feel like if I don't do all those things the world will come crashing down or something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's a weird feeling; knowing that I do all this for fun, but as soon as I set plans all I want is to not follow them. I really have no one to answer to but myself for all these things, but at the same time, without anybody else to answer to, it makes it easy to blow everything off. I want to have goals, and strive to reach those goals, and share those goals with anybody who cares to come along for the ride, but again, a part of me feels like any amount of failure somehow invalidates everything? Basically I need to get the heck over myself and just start doing things again, but we're gonna take this one step at a time.

So blah, blah, everything's awful, what's that mean for the stream? GGotM is cancelled sort of but not really. I'll keep that list of games to go through, I'll do my best to still do Luigi's Mansion in October, but the rest of them I'll just do when I want to stream casual stuff. If you're looking for a tentative order of all this, probably Thousand Year Door, Twilight Princess, and then idk whatever I feel like to that point. Constantly putting constraints on myself for casual streaming is probably the dumbest idea I've ever come up with, (and I've had some dumb ideas) and it's taken me a few months to just realize that I should abandon that backwards way of thinking and do stuff when I want.

Speedrunning-wise, 20 and 10 is still happening, and whenever I get the time/energy to do so, that'll be what I stream. I still want to try to get to those final 3 goals I left open, and I think focusing more on just speedrunning and not trying to wedge casual stuff in also will help me obtain those goals. Again I have no idea how well 20 and 10 will work out, but it's something I want to try and see where I end up at the end of it all. I'll likely set an actual time goal for 96 once that's all over and work towards that.

TL;DR: Work sucks, I know. Also not gonna constantly try and stream casual stuff so that I can have less on my plate and focus more on speedgoals. 20 and 10 whenever I click the "Start Streaming" button next.