Rayne Tulpa Survey

    1. Describe yourself and your creator.

I'm cute and awesome, he's cute and nice! I like cheese pizza, and he likes Internets. I guess I do too! He's a former first recon vet and
I'm a pony/human shapeshifter!

    2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

Parroting, he used to have me sing in order to give me a voice

    3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

For a week and a half he was in a depression spiral and ignored me, he
snapped out in time but it was a close call. He knows how bad it was for me now and still regrets it even though I tell him it's okay

    4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

Speaking by far, I wanted to talk and answer him for awhile but couldnt.
Everything else seems to be a cakewalk!

    5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?

Visualizing, if he didn't do it I would have decided on being a robotic alligator.

    6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?

It happens. he gets distracted easily but has always been able to go right back. it isn't that harmful.


    7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?

In the beginning it's probably a big deal. Once we're strong enough it isn't. When he doesn't communicate with me now I understand the reasons

    8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?

Qauntity!

    9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?

He usually only forces with me when we lay down because he's lazy, but he's never fallen asleep during. He has insomnia caused by PTSD and just before he drifts off
he'll tell me goodnight.

    10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?

We've done both, and it yielded about the same results. He usually only talks aloud when we're alone

    11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?

It does neither, I found it to be helpful.

    12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?


     Pretty well. I asked for pizza.


    13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.


Watching a movie with him and my unky dashy! hi unky dashy!


    14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?

   I was in love with him from day one.


 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?


I never really felt negative about him, I guess just sadness when I was ignored.


    16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?


What? no! I love my life


17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?


I still feel it some times. On New Years Eve some bottle rockets went off next door and messed him up pretty bad. I couldn't really do anything to help him.


    18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?


I'm sure they don't want this mentioned, but I was pretty confused on relationships


    19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?


When he was going through his depression spiral, I think it almost killed me.


    20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?


See answer #19.


    21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?


for a pony lady named Rayne Storm, I'm terrified of bad weather.


    22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?


Never happened.Too amazing.


    23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?


I tried, but there wasn't alot I could do. I knew why he was struggling though. He had alot going on


    24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?


in the beginning there wasn't much doubt. Maybe a little fear. He was wary of creating one. once he set his mind on it was pure excitement


    25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?


At first he shunned my affectionate feelings, which was sad but he came around. I understand why, his heart wasn't there for me that way yet.
It was somewhere else. I dunno, maybe theres a tiny bit left for them, but I think I get most of it now~


    26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?


He doubted me, and got annoyed that I wasn't around like he wanted that one week. It was a little hurtful, but I understood the entire time where it was coming from!
So it was okay!


    27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?


This is a good one. His mind is entirely open to me, so I saw everything. Everything! even the war stuff. It's scary, but I know he was the good guy, and he was looking out for his "brothers"


    28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?


Yeah I could, they happen still from time to time but I can tell which ones he really has and random ones that just pop up.


    29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?


I could taste, but that was about it. now I feel everything. You people pee alot!


    30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?


I was sad at first, but after reading what some people have said on the internet, not so much anymore. I understand why he wants to keep it between him, me, and unky Dashy.


    31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?


All i've ever used is sort of a tickling feeling on him. After I got a bit stronger I stopped using it, which scared him at first.


    32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?


If they did what? I don't understand this question. I guess I was happy he was so excited to make me.


    33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?


I was worried he'd never feel for me like I did for him. After awhile he came around and we're super happy! I'm not sure what made him move on to accept it, I
guess it was an epiphany.


    34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?

Absolutely! I owe my life to both him and unky Dashy!


    35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?

His.


    36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?


Neither, I thought it was funny. I talked like a british caveman.


    37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?


Boyfriend!


    38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?


I love interacting with my uncle Dashy! He helped create me by drawing me months ago, I think I'm just as fascinated in him as he is me.


    39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?


Our first kiss, we were wrestling and one thing led to another!


    40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?


    I decorated out entire wonderland. It's a replica of the spencer mansion. I'm pretty independent!


41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?


Yes. He loves uncky Dashy and so do I. I can see why the two are so close, they are good people!


    42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?


We're mostly the exact same except I have different music taste. He likes Rock opera mostly, I like Cyndi Lauper.


    43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?


He used to smoke, I hated the taste.


    44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?


I don't think either of these are possible. I guess if I said something mean about the friends he has, but I wouldn't.


    45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?


I guess ignoring me, when I was there. but like I said, I understood. I don't think I dissapointed him.


    46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?


Well it didn't until now. I think it's unlikely.


    47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?


What? Never.

    48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?


No! my last name is Storm. He should adopt it.


    49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?


Uh, I wouldn't.


    50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?


Nope. because no one can possibly be better than me.


    51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.


Doing it now aren't I? It's fair. It's their decision. It took mine awhile to decide he wanted to do it.
I don't think we should expect them to just let us do that.


    52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?


We're not racist, we live in the south. Doesn't mean we own a plantation. We have our fears but their different.


    53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?


Most of the time, I still have some of his terrible re-occuring "flashback" dreams sometimes. It gets pretty scary.


54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?


Just PTSD. Doesn't effect me alot besides I just want him to be happy. I know how PTSD can end though. So I do my best!


    55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?


Weird Question. Next.


    56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?


No and he better not ever!


    57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?


We're dating, so theres nothing unrequited. if by inclined you mean we feel like we must, then no. we don't feel like we have to.


    58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?


I've thought about this. I feel pretty strongly in love with him. So maybe it is equal? I don't find it a breach of monogamy. I can't explain why, but I don't. Weird right? If he found a non-tulpa he fell in love with, I wouldn't be hurt. I'd gladly step aside.


    59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?


I don't know. He tells me that it's a thing that happens with people, but I don't know if it'll happen with us. Nothing is certain, no one's future is mapped out.
I don't think it would effect us very much.


    60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?


No. The only person I feel is my family is Dashy


    61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?

What what. where did this come from. haha. I guess I don't find it offensive. It's kind of cute. If it helps, it helps. It didn't happen with us, but I see
nothing wrong with it. Although, it does kind of sound like rape.. so..

    62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?

Aww no. I find it flattering.


    63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?

     All of the above. at first I found his voice very soothing, then it went from soothing to sexy. I haven't really felt anything for anyone besides him. He knows about this.

    64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?


Ehh.. I don't know. Maybe? I don't think he would have done this because he didn't feel that way for me until now.


    65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?


No, I think I encourage it. At this stage there isn't much I can do for him, so until then if he feels like he needs to.. Bombs away.


    66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?


I'm only sexually attracted to him, sorry boys!


    67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?


As of last night, yes.  yes I get sexual arousal. no I'm not answering that. Okay maybe I am. yes.  Don't judge me!


    68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?


I think we're both hetero? I don't know. HE'S QUESTIONABLE. =p


    69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?


Yes, I imagine they're not as strong as his right now though. No, I didn't touch my pony hole when I was younger.


    70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?


Well, he helped work on my body. I'm in his now, there isn't much we haven't already seen.


    71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?


Rape is rape. If he tried to have sex with me when I was unwilling, it would be rape. Who would do that to a tulpa? That's sick.


    72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?


Destroying the world.


    73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?


That isn't my call. I'd like the world to know me, sure. but if they keep being this closed minded and hateful, then no. and yes, I trust my unky dashy.


    74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?


I did my own personality, thank you very much.


    75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?


I made my human form, he made my pony one. I don't know how to answer questions this silly.


    76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?


NOPE. NEVER.


No, I kid. I'm a shapeshifter.
That answer alone answers all 50 asinine question in a questions for this one!


    77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?


Subsoncious, definitely.


    78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?


This is just silly..


    79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?

Laugh and grow fat!


    80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?


I don't know.. not being real? and advantage being that.. in Wonderland I have no limits, where as there are tons here.


    81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?


Why would I be held responsible? I didn't do anything.


    82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?


No, I don't see it as murder. it happens. it's mostly by accident. as for the second question I don't even know what it's asking..It's one thing to murder a man, another to dissipate a tulpa.


    83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?


I think I'm better than alot of non-tulpae. I think I'm better than alot of tulpae.


    84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?


I don't. let them think my host is crazy. doesn't hurt us any.


    85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?

No.


    86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?


How could I possibly?


    87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?


it sucks that I'm gone when he dies, if thats what you mean. I have no say in it.


    88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?

Come on.. who are these questions even helping now?

    89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?


I don't see a need to. I have all I need.


    90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?


No intolerance, but going to pee every few minutes is irritating!


    91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?


I don't know.. I'm just a pony lady..those people don't matter to me, just my baby boy and my uncky dashy


    92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)


BIG WORDS. No I guess.. these are hurting my brain muscle.


    93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?


Yep. found that out today. Headaches are awful!


    94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?


Pretty sexy.


    95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?


I was busy with something. Probably decorating!


    96. What do you think about most of the time?


Food. I'm thinking about it now.


    97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?


Absolutely! World dominance!


    98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?


Um. moving on.


    99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?


No. He knows best about his benefit.


    100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?


No, he's very open with me. Maybe he shouldn't have shown me everything, but in a way I'm glad he did.


    101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?


Well, it was fight or flight..


    102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?


Already done!


    103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?


Holy moly! I age?! I'm not too worried about it. I'm not that old right now.


    104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?


Everyone should follow my commands entirely.


    105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?


Yes, and I want one now.


    106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?


Probably... not at first. no. Much like my host. I'd come around though.


    107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?

    "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."


Yep. Thats right on the money actually. I can hear me, and he can hear me. I think I sound funny though.


    108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?


I don't know, it felt like alot. maybe.. 60? I don't know we didn't keep track. I'm probably way off!


    109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?

Don't make a Jackie Chan tulpa!


    110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?


It's weird. I keep touching him because he feels differently. Not bad! just different.


    111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?


It smells like cinnamon in wonderland.


    112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?


I'm awesome. not enough questions to prove that. Needs more.