Sleepless Nights Together

EARLY RELEASE FOR MY $30+ PATRONS!

I wrote this weeks ago but my jobs got in the way of editing and posting it ahah oops. But here it finally is, some long-overdue Mahikaren!

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

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												Sleepless Nights Together

Days have passed since Class 99's performance of Starlight.

Lessons had been light and focused mainly on celebration and cleaning up the stage and set, with preparations already in motion for next year's production. Evenings had been spent with friends and classmates in the form of small parties and sleepovers.

Just about everyone felt accomplished and relieved.

All except for one.

Karen can tell, because Hikari is her childhood friend. Even though the years apart had made it more difficult for Karen to read her, it hadn't made it impossible. She can tell when something is bothering her best friend.

And even Mahiru, who had once been so jealous and wary around their new roommate, has come to cherish her as a good friend as well. She can also discern that Hikari is acting a bit strangely.

But they hardly get a chance alone together to discuss it.

It's only when Hikari is in the restroom briefly one evening that Karen and Mahiru get to talk.

"Hey, Mahiru-chan?"

"Karen-chan?"

"Oh, sorry! You go first."

"N-No that's okay. You go."

Both girls smile a little nervously and blurt out at the same time:

"I'm worried about Hikari-chan."

They both blink, nod, then sigh.

"Yeah," Mahiru mumbles, crossing her ankles from her spot on her bed. "I mean, I think she was just beginning to like me, but she's been really quiet these past few days. D-Did I do something wrong?"

"No way!" Karen insists. She leans so far over her own bed she nearly falls off. "She isn't upset with you or anything, Mahiru-chan! I'm sure of it! It's just..." She bites her lip, looking down at the carpet. "Something... happened at our last revue. Something I can't really explain. I'm sure that's what's troubling her."

"Oh. I see..." Mahiru's shoulders slump. She knows something had happened between Karen and Hikari during that final revue, but neither of them has been able to give her any details. All she can gather is that it was really big, and she'd missed out on it.

She hates this feeling – this feeling of not being able to understand Karen or Hikari completely, of being a friend they each made later on in life, not in childhood. She knows there's a bond between Karen and Hikari that she can never have or understand, and it hurts. She can't help either of them in the ways they can help one another.

"I wish there was something I could do..."

But before Karen can say anything to comfort her, the bathroom door opens and Hikari steps out in her nightgown with a towel around her shoulders.

"The shower is free," she says quietly. She doesn't make eye contact with either of them as she makes her way to her space on the floor between their beds. Karen and Mahiru share one last worried look.

"I'll go," Mahiru says. She knows that Karen can do Hikari more good than she ever could.

As Mahiru gets up and gathers her pajamas, Karen watches her go. There's this prickling feeling wriggling around in her chest, and she doesn't like it. Both of her best friends are hurt and upset, and she doesn't know what to do to help either of them.

Mahiru takes her things and disappears into the bathroom, so Karen decides to focus on Hikari first. She's sitting on the floor on the blanket that she uses as a futon, surrounded by the stuffed animals she loves so dearly. She faces away from Karen as she begins pulling a brush through her damp hair.

Karen doesn't have a script in mind – she's the kind of person who just tries to make things work naturally, like improv. So she slips off the edge of her bed and onto the floor.

"Hey, Hikari-chan...? Why don't I brush your hair for you? It's been ages since I last did that."

Hikari pauses for a moment, turning her face slightly, but not enough to make eye contact.

"It's fine. You don't have to."

"But I want to!" Karen insists. "That is, if you're okay with it."

A moment passes, and Karen waits anxiously for the response. Finally, Hikari reaches back to give her the brush.

"Then... if you wouldn't mind..."

Karen smiles.

"Of course I wouldn't!"

She starts at the ends of Hikari's wet hair, smoothing through it gently before gradually working her way up. Hikari is still and quiet, and remains so as Karen continues. But her mind inevitably wanders back to her earlier conversation with Mahiru.

As Karen eases through a small tangle, she presses her free hand onto Hikari's back so she won't yank any hairs. When she touches her, Karen immediately gets the feeling something is wrong. The aura coming off Hikari just feels so exhausted and sad. It sends a pang through Karen's heart.

"Hey, Hikari-chan-"

"That's good enough. Thank you." Hikari quickly plucks the brush from her hands and stands up to put it away. Karen stays on the floor, watching her, concern squirming in her stomach. When Hikari returns to her blankets and sits down, she faces Karen with a bit of a warning glare.

"Bakaren. Go back to your own bed now."

But Karen doesn't like the idea of leaving her right now. She knows something is wrong, and though she's determined to help, she also doesn't want to push her.

So she just does what comes naturally and throws her arms around Hikari, pulling her in close, effectively flustering her.

"K-Karen- what are you-"

"Hikari-chan... if something's bothering you, you can talk to me. I'm worried about you. Mahiru-chan is, too! We're here for you, y'know." Karen squeezes her shoulders a little more, trying to convey her earnest feelings.

Hikari lifts her arms slowly, and Karen is hopeful she might return the embrace. But Hikari just pries her off and turns away.

"Nothing's bothering me, Bakaren. Go shower."

Karen's heart sinks. But she doesn't want to push her any further. So with a sigh, she heaves herself to her feet and gathers her clothes. Mahiru comes back into the room a moment later with her hair properly dried.

"Karen-chan, the bath is free!"

"Kay." Karen takes her clothes and limps past her roommate, disappearing into the bathroom.

Mahiru doesn't need to be a mind-reader to determine what had probably happened in her absence. Hikari is already curled up beneath her blankets, not saying a word.

Mahiru approaches quietly, stepping past her to get to her own bed. She sits on the edge for a moment and watches Hikari, who has her back to her. Mahiru treads very carefully.

"You know, Kagura-san... Karen-chan only wants to help you."

She watches Hikari let out a long sigh, but she never budges otherwise.

"I know. Could you tell her I'm sorry...?"

"You should tell her yourself."

"...I'm not sure if I can. I don't think she'd want to talk to me right now."

"Dummy. Of course she would. She's always willing to talk to you if you're willing to talk to her. It's as simple as that. And on that note..." She shuffles her feet, crossing her ankles again a bit nervously. "You... You can always talk to me too, Kagura-san. I know sometimes it's better to talk to Karen-chan since you've known her for so long. But sometimes it might be easier to talk to someone you didn't grow up with. So... if you feel like that's the case... you have me."

There's a beat of silence. Mahiru bites her lip, hoping she hadn't made things worse somehow. Hikari expels another sigh, but still doesn't turn around.

"Thank you, Tsuyuzaki-san."

Mahiru sighs too.

"'Mahiru' is fine."

"Then 'Hikari' is fine, too."

The weight in the air seems to have dissipated a little bit as Mahiru pulls her legs up onto her bed and gets comfortable. She hears Hikari's breathing slow and soften as she drifts off, but Mahiru wants to stay awake until Karen returns.

When the bathroom door finally opens and Karen steps out, Mahiru glances to her. She looks as dejected as she'd sounded going in, and Mahiru can only guess she'd been dwelling on thoughts of Hikari all throughout her shower.

Mahiru gets up again and goes to her quietly, taking the towel from her shoulders to rub it through her hair.

"Karen-chan. You've gotta dry your hair or else you'll catch a cold overnight."

"Right. Sorry..."

"It's okay." When she's satisfied that her friend's hair is dry enough, Mahiru tosses the towel into the hamper. She can see Karen looking past her at Hikari's sleeping form. Mahiru smiles a little.

"She asked me to tell you that she's sorry."

Karen takes a step forward, but then retracts it.

"I just wanna know what's wrong. I wanna help her..."

"I do, too," Mahiru murmurs. "Let's try asking her again tomorrow. For tonight, try not to worry about it too much, okay, Karen-chan?"

It takes her a moment, but Karen eventually nods.

"You're right. Thanks, Mahiru-chan. You're always such a good friend." Karen gives her a hug, and it catches Mahiru off guard so much that she hardly has the time to be happy and savor it before Karen eases away. "Let's get some sleep, Mahiru-chan."

"R-Right." Still happily shaken from the embrace, Mahiru goes to turn off the lights before retreating to her bed. Karen lies down and spends a moment looking longingly down at Hikari before closing her eyes.

"Goodnight, Mahiru-chan."

"Goodnight, Karen-chan."

"Goodnight, Hikari-chan."

"Goodnight, Kagura-san."

But of course Hikari doesn't say it back.

Hikari finds herself surrounded in darkness again. She just prays it'll be different this time.

Please... not tonight... not again...

It takes a lot of courage for her to open her eyes. But when she finally does, it's a terrifyingly familiar scene.

Sand as far as the horizon allows. Hot, white, prickling sand. In the distance is the red tower, the crumbling stars...

No... please, not again-

But Hikari's body is already moving on its own. She has no choice. She has to rebuild the tower, over and over again.

No matter how many times it crumbles beneath her.

No matter how much she bleeds.

She has to. It's her curse.

She picks up one of the millions of stars and begins to stack them as tears pour down her cheeks.

And just like last night, and the night before, she is subjected to her torment.

And again, she cries, but no one hears her.

Mahiru sleeps peacefully for several hours until something causes her to stir. She's always been a light sleeper, in dire contrast to Karen, so even the faintest unusual noise will typically wake her.

The room is almost completely dark, save for a sliver of moonlight slipping in between the beds. It touches Hikari's sleeping form just enough to let Mahiru see her back jolt.

Something twists in her chest so uncomfortably she isn't about to wait long enough for it to happen again. Mahiru pushes herself up slowly, letting the blankets fall down off her shoulders.

"Kagura-san...?" Her voice carries softly across the darkness, but Hikari doesn't respond. Mahiru waits, watching her closely. She doesn't jolt again, but Mahiru can't shake the feeling that something is amiss. Cautiously, she gets out of bed and crouches down on Hikari's blankets, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"Kagura-san...?"

Hikari's hair is still cool and damp from her shower, and it's seeped into her nightgown by now, causing her to shiver. Mahiru's touch has Hikari curling in on herself more, as if the warmth of her hand reminds Hikari of the chill throughout her own veins.

Mahiru's heart sinks with worry that she might get herself sick like this. She jostles her gently, moving in a little closer. A faint gasp comes from Hikari as she wakes, and Mahiru eases back, not wanting to frighten her. She can't see Hikari's face from here, but she doesn't miss the tremors in her arms and shoulders when she pushes herself up. Hikari turns to her, and her eyes are wide and puzzled, almost to the point of fear.

"Tsuyuzaki...san...?"

Mahiru relaxes just a little bit.

"S-Sorry for waking you. You just seemed like... like you'd be better off awake right now. Are you cold? You didn't dry your hair properly."

Hikari just looks at her as if she weren't actually there. She looks through her, blinking in a daze. Mahiru can immediately tell there's more bothering her than just her wet hair.

Hikari doesn't say anything for a moment, but her eyes seem to glaze over and she begins to sway. Mahiru panics and reaches out to steady her.

"Kagura-san?" she yelps softly. "Wh-What's the matter?"

"Eh...?" Hikari blinks, looking up at her roommate as though it's for the first time tonight. She shakes her head very slowly, but even then she winces at some invisible pain. "Sorry... I think I'm just tired..."

But Mahiru has lived with Karen for the past year now, and she knows when someone is just trying to play it tough. And in spite of Hikari's initial mystery, living with her has made her easier to read than a children's book.

Mahiru keeps a firm hold on Hikari's shoulders, fearing she might collapse if she lets her go. She gives her a sternly worried look.

"Kagura-san... if something's wrong..."

But she stops herself. She knows Hikari would probably rather talk to Karen than herself. She's known Karen for much longer, and naturally just has more trust in her.

It hurts Mahiru a little bit, but it makes sense that Hikari would open up to Karen before her.

So she lets out a small breath and gathers herself, seeing the sense in the feelings rather than letting them hurt her.

Hikari blinks, and her eyes nearly don't come back open. Mahiru is too worried about her to be upset about anything else. Gently, she gathers Hikari's hair to one side and pulls one of the blankets up over Hikari's back and shoulders, then lets her hair down over it.

"There. This should help keep you a little warmer. I'll go wake Karen-chan."

Hikari blinks again, but her eyes are still glazed and confused.

"Tsuyuzaki-san-"

"It's all right. I know it'll be easier for you to talk to her. Karen-chan will definitely be able to help, if you let her."

Once she feels that Hikari will be all right keeping her balance, Mahiru lets go of her and gets to her feet, approaching Karen's bed quietly.

"Karen-chan." She peers down over Karen's shoulder to find her deep in sleep, mumbling softly. Mahiru touches her shoulder and shakes her with a bit more vigor than she as a person would like to emit, but she knows it's necessary to rouse her. "Karen-chan," she calls a bit more urgently.

Karen mumbles and grumbles and turns over before slowly opening her eyes, rubbing the sleep from them.

"Huh...? Mahiru-chan...?"

"Yes."

Karen sits up slowly, still rubbing her eyes.

"What... what time is it? What's the matter...?"

Mahiru checks over her shoulder to find Hikari hunched up beneath the blanket, still quivering. She bites her lip, lowering her voice as she turns back to Karen.

"I think Kagura-san had a bad dream, o-or might be sick. Something's definitely wrong."

"Huh? Hikari-chan?"

Mahiru nods. "I tried talking to her, but she isn't giving me much. I think she'd feel more comfortable talking to you."

Karen blinks up at her, wide awake now, and then looks around Mahiru to glimpse her childhood friend shivering on the floor. Karen gets to her feet right away, taking both of Mahiru's hands.

"Thanks, Mahiru-chan. You know Hikari-chan is the type who'll stay silent about these kind of things. I'm so glad you noticed and woke me up."

"I-It's nothing," Mahiru says. "I just want to help her."

"Yeah." Karen gives her a smile that makes Mahiru's heart leap. Then, Karen pulls her into a brief but tight hug. This time, Mahiru is conscious enough to return it. When they part, she steps toward the door.

"I'll go make some tea. Maybe that will help."

Karen nods.

"Thanks, Mahiru-chan."

With this, Mahiru steps into her slippers and takes her leave out the door.

Karen watches her go, then directs her full attention to her old friend.

Hikari is clutching the blankets to her chest, and her eyes have fallen shut. Karen kneels down beside her and wraps an arm around her shoulders. She can feel her shaking, but it isn't just from the chill in her hair.

"Hikari-chan...?" Karen shifts a little closer, wanting to share some of her warmth. "Are you okay...?"

Hikari swallows thickly, dryly, as if swallowing a mouthful of sand. She lifts her head and her eyes are unfocused. There are unshed tears clinging to the corners.

"Karen..." There's a bit of relief in her tone, but her voice is still heavy. Karen opens her arms and pulls her in close. Hikari's heart thumps quickly against her chest, and another shiver runs through her. Karen makes her voice as calm as possible.

"Hikari-chan... please tell me what's wrong. You've been so out of it lately, and you look like you haven't slept in days."

"Because I can't," Hikari chokes. "I can't sleep, Karen... Whenever I try I just... find myself back in that place... that sweltering desert... it's so hot, I can't breathe... it hurts..."

Karen isn't surprised by her response. She'd been there with Hikari, and whether the place had been genuine or a dream, it was real enough to Hikari. The acrid, dry air had cracked her skin, making it easy for the sharp hot sand underfoot to make her bleed. Building and rebuilding the tower of stars, only to have it endlessly demolished from under her. She'd made a sacrifice for the rest of them, and received only pain in return. So much pain she'd stopped feeling it; or anything else.

But now that she's free, she remembers it all, and it keeps coming back to haunt her.

Karen hates how useless she feels about this. She tightens her hug on Hikari desperately, defiantly. She feels Hikari jolt, and then soft sobs break free.

"I can't escape..." she rasps. "Karen, I-I can't get free... I'm trapped-"

"You're wrong," Karen murmurs. "You aren't trapped anymore, Hikari-chan. Even if you were, I'd stay there with you. All of us would. Mahiru-chan and Kuro-chan and Daiba-san and Hoshimi-san... Everyone would stay there together with you if they could - if it meant you didn't have to be alone." Karen pulls her in a little more. "You're not alone anymore, Hikari-chan. You have me. You have us."

Hikari's sobs double up on themselves as she reaches out, letting go of the pain in her chest and instead reaching for Karen's warmth. She clings onto her and cries quietly, weak from fear and relief mixed together.

Karen covers her with the blanket again where it'd slipped off. She stays close, until Hikari's pulse begins to slow down just a little, and her tears slow as well.

After a few moments, Mahiru returns with a tray of three tea cups. She makes her way over quietly in the darkness, letting the moonlight guide her. Her heart already hurts at the sight of Hikari crying like this, but Karen gives her a reassuring smile.

Mahiru kneels down beside them and places the tray to the other side. She moves in a little bit, rubbing a hand soothingly over Hikari's back to help keep her warm. Hikari hiccups as she lifts her head from Karen's shoulder and looks up to meet Mahiru's eyes.

"Ma... Mahiru-san..."

Mahiru smiles kindly; she'd finally said her name.

"I'm here to help... Hikari-chan. I just want you to be okay."

Mahiru leans close against Hikari's other side now, pressing against her gently to share some of her own body heat.

Hikari's whimpering begins to taper off. The last of the tears drip down, leaving wet trails behind on her cheeks. Karen eases away just for a moment to pick up the big white jellyfish plushie that sits above Hikari's pillow. She hands it to her, and Hikari accepts it almost a little too quickly, hugging it tightly against her.

Mahiru reaches for one of the tea cups and ensures that it's cooled enough before offering it to her. Hikari accepts that as well, though Mahiru keeps her hand there supporting hers in case she trembles. Karen rests a hand on Hikari's back to help keep her steady, and together they assist her in drinking a bit of warm tea.

Hikari drinks with eager caution, craving the relief but also fearing the heat.

But her friends have looked after her lovingly. The tea doesn't burn her, nor does she sway or flinch between them. She finishes the entire cup before placing it back onto the tray and breathing out a long sigh.

Once they're both sure she's feeling better, Karen and Mahiru take a few sips from their own cups before putting everything aside on the nightstand. Mahiru repositions one of the blankets over Hikari's back, separating her hair from her nightgown and pulling it up to the nape of her neck.

"How does that feel?" she asks softly. Hikari turns to her and smiles for the first time in a long time. Perhaps it's the first time ever, in terms of being genuine.

"I feel so much better. Thank you, Mahiru-san."

Mahiru's heart lifts happily.

"I'm really glad. I was so worried..."

They blink shyly at one another for a second before coming to an unspoken but mutual agreement. Hikari puts her jellyfish aside to hesitantly raise her arms. At the same time, Mahiru opens hers.

They come together for an awkwardly wonderful embrace, one they'd never thought they might share before, considering their petty past rivalry for Karen's friendship. They'd always thought it had to be a competition with the other. Until now, they'd never even considered befriending each other instead.

The embrace emits feelings of quiet apologies as well, and is healing in nature.

Karen watches, and can hardly bite back a squeal - her two best friends who had always sort of been at-odds are finally turning the page to a new chapter. Her heart feels so incredibly full.

Slowly, she gets up to pull the blanket off her bed before returning to the floor. She opens her arms, spreading the blanket out as she does so, and then throws herself at her two roommates.

"Hikari-chan! Mahiru-chan!"

"Karen-"

"K-Karen-chan! Take it easy!"

Through a combined effort, Hikari and Mahiru manage not to let themselves be bowled over by Karen's exuberance. Karen pulls them both in to each of her sides and drapes the blanket over all three of them.

"I'm so glad you're okay now, Hikari-chan. You can always talk to me or Mahiru-chan, okay? About anything!"

Hikari is thankful for the darkness hiding her blush as she wraps one arm around Karen.

"Thank you, Karen. I know that now."

Karen nods and hums.

"Mm-mm! And thank you, Mahiru-chan! If it wasn't for you, we might not have been able to help Hikari-chan as soon as we did."

"Eh? Th-That's not necessarily-"

"No," Hikari cuts in. "She's right." She turns her honest eyes to Mahiru once more, her gaze no longer fuzzy or unfocused. "Mahiru-san, if it wasn't for you, I don't think I ever could've opened up about any of this... I would've just continued to try and handle it on my own." Hikari wraps her other arm around Mahiru and pulls her in too "Thank you."

Mahiru makes a happy whimpering sound and completes the group hug by pulling both of her roommates in tightly, just thankful that no one is in any pain anymore.

For a long moment, the three of them just huddle up close. It's Hikari who eventually and reluctantly eases back first.

"Thank you, both of you. But you should probably get back to bed now."

"Okay!" Karen chirps. She grabs her end of the blanket and plops down on her side on the floor. Mahiru smiles and lies down a bit more gently in her place. Puzzled, Hikari looks back and forth between them.

"What are you-?"

"Hikari-chan," Karen says, reaching out to take one of Hikari's hands. "Don't think we'd leave you alone tonight after everything you've been through."

"I agree." Mahiru reaches out to softly place her hand over Hikari's other. "I think it would be nice to have a change of pace."

"You two..." Hikari looks back and forth between them again, feeling their gentle warmth spreading across her hands. That warmth rises all the way up to her eyes, and two tears drip free over a wobbly smile. "I'd like that... thank you."

Karen and Mahiru both smile, coaxing Hikari down with them at her own pace. They let her get comfortable first before arranging themselves, adjusting all the blankets and plushies so that everyone is surrounded by softness and warmth.

But no one more so than Hikari.

She lies on her back, and each of her friends snuggle up against her sides, looping their arms over her in a loose embrace. Hikari lets out a deep breath, and the worries that had encrusted themselves around her heart begin to melt away one by one. She pulls Karen and Mahiru in close, and shuts her eyes.

She isn't scared of sleep anymore. She doesn't find herself in that desert wasteland again, but instead in a place of restful slumber.

Karen and Mahiru both wait a while longer, until they're certain Hikari is resting peacefully, before they allow themselves to drift off as well.

All three stage girls sleep deeply throughout the night, caressed by the warmth and love of each other.

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A/N: Finally I got to my OT3! I do like Hikaren, but Mahiru absolutely deserves the love as well, she's such a good girl, and those two would definitely love her as much as she'd love them.

I wanted to give each pair within the 3 their own alone time together and then have all 3 come together in the end for the comfort fluff. I like to show each piece of bigger partnerships before the whole.