Sayonara Zetsubou Stallion #4: Tale of Tails

馬は、勇敢なペガサスにあえてしました
[A mare made a dare to a brave pegasus]
"竜の尾を引いて！"
[“Pull the tail of a dragon!”]
彼が受け入れられ、竜のうちの物語をヤンク
[He accepted and yanked the tale out of a dragon]
ペガサスは、世紀のリスニングを過ごした後老齢のため死亡した
[The pegasus died of old age after spending half a century listening.]
-----
Chapter 3: The Tale of Tails
> You were slow to notice it at first, but by the third day you perceived that one of your students seem to end up in bandages.
> However, it wasn’t until Nurse Fluttershy took you outside your classroom to explain her concerns that you actually realized something was wrong.
>Fluttershy: “Mr. Despair-“
“Please, it’s Mr. Anon!”
> How do ponies manage to think that your name is “Despair”?!
> Fluttershy: “Uhm, Mr. Anon… have you noticed anything about… Silver Spoon?”
“Silver… who?”
> She gives a hearty sigh at your ignorance of the class attendance.
> Fluttershy: “Silver Spoon is the one who is now in bandages… and has a silver spoon for a cutie mark. Grayish color, blue thick glasses?”
> You rub your chin, trying to image the foal in question.
“Alright, what about this… Silver Cup?”
> Fluttershy: “Mr. Anon, please! It’s Silver Spoon, and there have been concerns that she may be a victim of… of…”
> She leans in closer, and you do the same;
> Fluttershy: “D-V.”
“Dee… Vee?”
> You look at the explanation scripted in non-existent subtitles below, that describe that “D.A.” is short for “domestic violence”.
“Oh… oh!”
> Fluttershy grapples your leg in a frantic attempt before you bum rush back into your classroom.
> Fluttershy: “You need to think this through! The principal is asking that you investigate after class today, and see if there’s something going on.”
“My student is in grave danger right now, I must protect her!!”
> Who is the principal, anyways?!
-----
> It takes about 45 minutes for you to wake up; before you could do anything foolhardy or dangerous, Fluttershy stuck ya with a tranquilizer.
> You feel like you’re stuck in a somewhat lucid dream, and when you come to, Zecora was hanging over your head.
> Hello, stallion form!
“Aiiiyaah!”
> Zecora: “Shut it or you’ll burn in hell, I’ve been teaching for the spell!”
“Ugh… spell?”
> Zecora: “By ‘spell’, I mean a passage of time; are you dumb to how I rhyme?”
> Her pupils are pinpoints, daring you to respond, in which you kindly decline.
> Upon standing up, you realize that you’re still in class, and the students are drawing random pictures.
> Your head is still looped up, perhaps whatever nurse Fluttershy pumped you with is a tad too strong.
> However, it somehow brings clarity to your head; illogical puzzles become solvable, and enigmas evolve into mere instructions.
> You understand now.
“I UNDERSTAND!”
> You pound the podium in triumph, your upper torso now human
> The bottom half is a mystery, considering that it’s out of sight.
> Crayons go flying as the class gives you their undivided attention from your flamboyant shout.
> Diamond Tiara: “What in Celestia’s name are you talki-“
“KEY!”
> More silence.
> Diamond Tiara: “Are you mad?!”
“KEYAAAAAAH!!”
> The numbers, the letters, runic symbols everywhere; they’re scuffled all over the classroom.
> You see them traveling unknowingly, on walls and ponies alike, and you look at your hands to find indecipherable messages rolling about.
> Soon they’re sprawling in a cyclone, forming a paragraph on the floor.
> You hang over the podium as words and sentences gain structure, the genuine truth revealing itself-
> It developed into a wealthy explanation as to how much your life sucks, and the final sentence gives the finishing blow:
> “You should go kill yourself, lol”
“This… this is…! YES! I KNEW IT!”
> You pull out your emergency noose that you keep on your personnel at all times, just in case you might need to hang yourself.
> The class gasps as you swing it around your neck, climb on the stand, and give the last jump life will allow.
> Unfortunately you totally forgot the portion where you secure the end of the rope on an overhanging structure, and you end up body slamming the floor.
> It appears you are entirely human as of right now.
-----
> Applebloom: “Sweet apple barrels, he’s gone mad!”
> The closet door slide opens as Scootaloo pops out
> You’re busy tugging on the rope to speed up the process, rolling across the floor to notice.
> Zecora, fairly used to this already, is filing her hooves.
> Scootaloo: “Sweetie Belle, secure him, we need to operate on his insanity!”
> From the darkest of shadows, a scalpel swings and cuts the noose into perfect eights; iron clamps burst out of the wooden floor and secure over each of your limbs.
“NANDE~?!?”
> Sweetie Belle is next to your panicking head, donning a facemask.
> Applebloom and Scootaloo have joined the surgery procedure, ripping the top of your kimono open to bare your chest.
> Even Berry(?) has joined the fray, standing between your two legs with a dopey but cute looking smile.
> You can’t feel a damn thing right now thanks to the drugs, but you’re sure going to let these ponies what’s on your mind.
“GYAGHUGH! MHRPURGH!”
> Applebloom: “Gesundheit, Mr. Anon! The insanity that’s festering appears to be…”
> She pulls out a black marker, holding it over your chest until it reaches the area where your heart generally is before putting a big X on it.
> Applebloom: “Right-a here! Now, all we gotta do is open Mr. Anon up and pull it out, and he’ll be all better!”
> In the front of the classroom, Diamond’s face is casted in shadow, her mouth curving into a terrible smile and a single eye glowing red.
> Diamond: “Can… insanity… be physically removed?”
> She pulls out a rusted pickaxe.
“Why do you have mining tools?!”
> Diamond: “Hold him still, I’ll pierce his heart!”
> Your eyeballs bulge at this point.
> Scootaloo: “Perhaps we might get our cutie marks for this!”
> Sweetie Belle: “Generating response… response found: woot!”
“You’re supposed to focus on my ‘insanity!’ this doesn’t make any sense!!”
> It appears Berry(?) now has a chainsaw in her possession, revving it up as she holds it dangerously close and over your crotch.
“You TOO?!”
> You can barely turn your head, but the driven hysteria continues its effect, your heart racing to match the speed of options quickly escaping your grasp.
> Madness clouding your eyes and foam escaping from your mouth, the agony of hopelessness forces you to scream with bloody murder drowning in your tones.
“I’M IN DESPAIR! STUDENTS TRYING TO SURGICALLY REMOVE INSANITY THROUGH PHYSICAL MEANS HAVE PUT ME IN DESPAIR!!!”
> Zecora is still pretty dedicated to her hooves as more tools are pulled out.
> The last thing you remember is giving a final shout that could be overheard in all of Ponyville.
-----
> At the end of class, you take your leave in cuts and bruises;
> There is now a long scar across your chest, stitches holding it in place.
> You don’t know if Fluttershy or one of the students did it; after passing out yet again, you were woken up by the sound of the bell, signaling that it’s time for the fillies to go home.
> Springing free from the prison that is public education, you sprint forward and catch up with the mare known humbly as Silver Spoon.
“Hey, Silver Spoon, Silver Spoon!”
> She turns around, and you discover the plethora of bandages on her; a roll of gauze covered an eye, and several band aids cover her body.
> She looks like she’s been savagely struck, and it aches you from the sight alone.
> Silver Spoon: “Uh, Mr. Anon…? What did you need?”
> You catch up to her, bending over to catch your breath.
“Surp…”
> Silver Spoon: “Syrup?”
“Sur…surprise parent-teacher conference!”
> Silver Spoon: “What?! But Mr. Anon, you can’t be serious!”
“If you fail this test, you’ll be held back!”
> Silver Spoon: “Ehhhh?!?”
-----
> The two of you are in front of a ridiculously large gateway to what could only seen as a pony-sized super mansion.
> You didn’t want anyone to think that just because it was “pony-sized”, that it insinuated that the house was not the largest building you’ve seen in Ponyville.
> She tugs a rope that rings a bell, and a burly looking security guard marches up, opening the gate.
> Guard: “Hello there, Silvie! Glad you made it back so-!”
> He brutally attacks you, swinging hooves and pinning you into the dirt face first.
> Guard: “I’m so sorry Silver Spoon! I didn’t realize this stalker was following you!”
> Silver Spoon sighs reluctantly at this sight.
> Silver Spoon: “He’s my teacher, and he has a conference with my parents. Could you let him go?”
> Stuttering for a moment, he obeys and releases you, a tooth missing and grass shoved up your nostrils.
> Silver Spoon: “Hurry up, Mr. Anon, we don’t have all day!”
> You do your best to regain whatever composure and dignity you have left, standing up and passing the guard as he holds his place by the gate.
> Guard: “I’m watching you, you perverted scum. One move is all it takes, and I’ll snap your pretty neck.”
> You give a testicle lacking squeak.
-----
> Now inside, you’re under the impeccable notion that the building is somehow even larger from the inside.
> The architect that is able to pull this illusion must be the richest pony in Equestria!
> There are dozens of murals overhanging the tapestry, each depicting an ill-fated looking stallion with a monocle.
“Silver Spoon, who are…?”
> Silver Spoon: “When at home, please refer to me as Silvie; we’re not at school, you know. I don’t suppose you’d let me call you Itoshiki?”
> This is incredibly awkward, but you try to be as smooth as possible in response.
“Well, err. Sil…vie, I don’t think you should call me that. However, ‘Anon’ should do just fine.”
>Silvie: “Alright… Anon.”
> You almost blush at the way she says this, but you manage to stop yourself.
> It’s to Silvie’s regret that she could not do the same, and she looks away in embarrassment.
> Silvie: “Please stop staring at me, you’re making me nervous.”
> You were staring at her?! She was staring at you!!
> You feel a terrible vibe descending upon you from up above, and you look up to gaze at the intimidating paintings of the stallions.
> There really should be more light in here, the handful of candles make the ceiling above appear dark, intimidating even.
> Silvie: “Do you like these portraits, Anon? They’re of the long line of descendants in my family. The first is my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather.”
> You look at the very first portrait, stroking your chin; the stallion in question looks like he fought against something remarkable.
> You would wager from the number of scars on his face that it was a dragon, or his wife.
> Silvie: “I forgot to mention this, but… my parents won’t be home until much later, they’re both at work.”
> You pivot on the spot, panic clenching your heart and lungs.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”
> Silvie: “I’m sorry, I just figured… this would be your chance to get to know me better.”
> You totally disregard what she just said in terms of double entendres, focusing instead on this as a chance to figure out the truth of her bandages.
“You’re right, I like that idea.”
-----
> Following her on a detailed tour, you give in and ask the million dollar question:
> Blink to you:
“Silvie… why are you in bandages? Be honest with me.”
> Blink to her, as she gives a sly look back:
> Silvie: “Can I be honest with you, Anon? I haven’t even told my closest friends, I’ve been terrified as to what would happen if they knew…”
> The way she’s moving her hips in front of you is quite peculiar; does she have some sort of broken pelvis?
> Nonetheless, you sense you’ve reached the core of the situation at last, and you’ll go to past any bounds to grasp the victory of an answer.
“But of course, I promise that I won’t tell a soul.”
> She holds a lantern up, illuminating the sudden expanse of darkness before the two of you.
“It got suddenly so dark, and where did you get that lantern?!”
> Silvie: “Come, this way.”
> Soon you both traverse in an elevator that takes you hundreds of feet below, where you follow a cirn, a part of sewers, and eventually you reach a rather foreboding room.
“Where are you taking me? When you said you had a secret to tell…”
> Silvies: “It’s right around the corner, Anon. Another minute, and all will be revealed.”
-----
> You’re sweating bullets, feeling like a complete and utter fool; how are you so certain that her parents are involved with domestic violence?
> She could be a serial killer, or a masochist with a sex dungeon.
> You could be a victim for either!
> Sweetie Belle: “I’m detecting a large lifeform nearby.”
> You lose your cool in a heartbeat, the quiet voice coming from right behind you and sending you into shock.
“You were behind me?!”
> Sweetie Belle: “Always affirmative.”
> Scootaloo: “It’s REALLY dark and scary in here, guys…”
> Applebloom: “Oh, quit bein’ such a chicken!”
> To both your and Silvie’s shock, the trio have followed you the entire time, their presence entirely unnoted.
> This is a paradox, considering just how noisy they are together! What is this utter madness?!
> In Silvie’s mind, she is ready to murder her classmates for ruining what she thought was such a romantic escapade.
> Unfortunately, you will never be able to gauge out the affection she demands so quietly from you.
> This strange turn of event goes by as the group ventures on in the darkness of the abyss below Silvie’s mansion.
> It isn’t long before you reach a monstrous cavern.
“This… this is…”
> Silvie: “Yeah, it is the legendary beast, one that my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather fought and tamed centuries ago.”
> CMC: “Wowwwww.”
> Behold its glory; an ancient dragon rests peacefully under the dim illumination of a hundred torches.
> You KNEW that guy took on a dragon!
> Silvie: “His name is Trongadonga. He’s been sleeping for almost eighty years, and, well… he has shown me my…”
“Your…?”
> Finally, the truth of her bandages is revealed!
> Silvie: “I’ve learned my … my…”
> CMC: “Yessssss?”
> Silvie: “… I’ve learned my fetish from him. I enjoy pulling the tail of dragons.”
> WHAT.
-----
“You mean… the reason you’re always hurt isn’t because of domestic violence?”
> Silvie: “What? No! My parents would never touch me!”
> Applebloom: “Why would any parent hurt a filly, Mr. Anon?!”
> How innocent her minds stand, how naïve her world spins.
> Sweetie Belle: “Error.”
> It appears at least Sweetie Belle understands… you think.
“So you mean to tell me that you’ve been discovering sexual fetishes with a resting creature centuries old, by tugging on his tail?”
> Silvie: “Observe, Anon.”
> Scootaloo cowers behind you as Silvie lowers and places the lantern, and begins to sneak around the unconscious goliath.
> After a minute, you watch her grasp the dragon’s tail, and give it a hearty tug.
> The dragon gives a small grunt and his tail flicks around.
> Silvie attached to it still, she swings in random directions before letting go and is launched into a pillar;
> You swear, and you hope that you’re deceiving yourself, that you hear a low trailing moan coming from Silvie.
> The crusaders and yourself rush up to her aid, and she brushes the blow off like it was nothing.
> Even her glasses are intact!
> Silvie: “It feels so… good.”
“Alright, so my student is a dragon tugging masochist. That makes this day a lot easier!”
-----
> Back on the surface, you prepare to leave the fancy looking mansion with due haste.
> It doesn’t help when those paintings are staring at you with a look that could accelerate the need to use a restroom, geez!
“Alright, I hope to see you in class tomorrow, Sil… Silver Spoon.”
> You can’t hold up the charade of nicknames any longer, much to her disappointment.
> Silvie: “Of course, take care of yourselves, the four of you. And please… it’s a secret.”
> The four of you nod enthusiastically, unsure as to why a wealthy family is keeping a titan sized dragon underneath their house.
> Walking to the gate, the guard is eyeballing you like you’re a donut with a 50% off sign.
> He’s also horribly confounded as to why there are now three fillies joining your exit.
> Guard: “Bwuh.. huh? But how?!”
> The three look at their flanks in hopes that they get ninja cutie marks;
> Not today, you three, not today.
> With the infuriated guard glaring as you all walk off, you look to the skies.
> Should you tell nurse Fluttershy about Silver’s hip problem?
> End.