Thread 28: Stories 16-30

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>DT
"42"
'77'
{Spike}
-SS-
~~~~~

>Guess what guys. I've been feeling magnanimous lately and decided to buy you all tickets to Partyland! No need to thank me.

"..."

'...'

"Actually, I"m going to Partyland with Cadence and Shining Armor"

>...what?

"Yeah, they invited me a while back."

>...oh well, I'm sure the rest of you can make it right?

'Ahhhhh....um yeeeeeah I'm actually going with Cheerilee. She's been stressed lately and I wanted to keep her company.'

>....where's Potatojack?

-She's out camping...she didn't really say where though.-

Looks at Spike
>...Spiiiiiike?

{Um...I was hoping to ask-}

>You wouldn't want to decline a a gift that a friend so graciously offered riiiiiiight?

{Uh, I-I guess not.}

>Great! Then we're going to Partyland together!

-Uh uh me too!-
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>Dash
"Twilight"
~~~~~

>...fucking no... fucking no... damn it, why is there so much stupid crap in here? Can nobody file a form right? Does nobody know how to fill out a formal request correctly? This is such a load of-

"Knock knooock! Hey, Dash! Shiny says we're going off on a little vacation!"

>That's nice.

"...Aren't you going to go get packed?"

>What you meant me? Twilight, look at all this stuff I have to do. I have to finish the order for the new uniforms after Fleetfoot set fire to our current stock, I have to process everyone's paycheck and hazard pay, I have to finish up on the backorders I left undone while we went to find Chitania, and...

"..."

>... and I need to... I... I need to...

"..."

>........OH SWEET CELESTIA WHAT'S BECOME OF MY LIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFEEEEEE!?

"It's not that ba-"

>I HATE PAPERWORK! I HATE THIS STUPID ORGANIZATION! I HATE THE PONIES I WORK WITH! I HATE HATE HATE HATE-

*SLAP!*

>...

"...So, Partyland?"

>That sounds like fun! All the other girls coming too?

"Haven't asked them yet, but I hope so! We've been doing our own thing too much, we need to get back to being the mane six!"

>DAMN STRAIGHT! Let me just file a vacation request and...

"..."

>...*TWITCH!*

"You know what? I'll do that for you, I know how."

>You're the best, Twi.

*ZOOM!*

"...Okay, the drawings on her desk of setting fire to the building are probably just her venting, they don't mean anything no matter how weirdly detailed they are, right?.... right..."
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NON CANON

~Hiiiiiya Dashie! You got the invite me and Cheesy sentcha, didn't you? We can't have you missing out on all the fun fun fun!~

>Geez, Pinkie, what're you talking about? Do you not see these forms? I... I might've gotten a letter from you, but Ditzy probably wedged it in between the Ration Requisition Forms. But don't you worry, I'll be there!

---LATER---

"Dash, are you packed yet? We're leaving in 2 hours."

"Leaving for where? I have all this paperwork to do yet, gals, as much as I appreciate it I just can't.... can't... CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! I need to get out of here, Twilight!

---BUT LATER---

*HOOOO-EY! Now THAT'S what Ah call a Tilta-a-Whirl!*

>Yeah, that's great, AJ, but enough about TPS Reports, what say we blow off this paperwork and go for a ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl over at Pinkie's place? She's been... talking... wait, how'd I get here?

---AND LATER STILL---

+Come now Rainbow, Darling, you simply must try some of these... what did you call them again? Funnel Cakes, how quaint!+

>Rarity, you can't do this to me. You just can't. I smell those funnel cakes and I just want to bolt on this whole thing and go to PartyLand!

+...Sweetie... where do you think we are...?+
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>SA
“2”
~~~~

>Two? Are you ready to go yet?

Her room was oddly silent. Normally, a frenzy of activity and bouncing energy filled every crevice every moment she was in there. Just how she was, bouncy, happy, excited to just be there and let everyone know how happy she was.

Which made it all the more confusing when she was face down on her bed.

>Honey?

“I'm nuh goin'...”

Confused, he slipped next to her, gently prodding at her side.

>Why not?

“Uh dun deserve it...”

>Don't deserve it? Come on, why not? What did you do?

Dejectedly, she pushed a piece of paper she had been laying on top of out from underneath her. It took a second to flatten it from it's crumpled state to read, but a quick examination told him her problem.

Her english test.

With a great big D- on the front.

“I'm sorry.”

>Oh, honey, it's not that bad.

“It iiiiis. I tried hard, Shiny, I'm sorry I'm so dumb.”

Having none of that, he scooped her up into a hug.

>Now you stop that right now, you are not dumb, do you hear me?

“B-but I really tried, Shiny! But I just couldn't get smart enough, and I kept messing up...”

>...You are partially right, you did make mistakes, and you didn't do very well on this test.

She squeaked, and he could feel a few tears start to brush against his coat.

>But sweetie, don't you see? That's what a test is. It's something you use to see how far you've come, and how far you still need to go.

Slowly, she stopped shaking.

>You're going to see... a lot of tests in your life, and I'm sorry that you're not going to get a perfect score on all of them. There are going to be times when your best, it just isn't enough... but those marks are not there to tell you 'you will never know this', they are there to tell you 'I do not know this yet, and I need to learn.'

She felt his grip tighten, just a bit.

>I needed to learn a lot of things to get here, you know that right? I didn't pass it right away, sometimes it looked like I wasn't going to pass it at all. I needed to learn... just like you need to learn, right now. You need to get up, figure out what you don't know, and try.

“But did try! Really hard!”

>I know you did, but don't you see? You're looking at this as if you tried to learn but couldn't, but maybe the problem wasn't you learning, just the way you were going about it.

“...Y-yeah?”

>Yeah. Did you ask anyone for help when studying?

“No... I thought I was learnin' it anyway.”

>Did you?

“I guess not...”

>Well then... looks like you passed another test.

Confused, wide eyes looked up to him.

“I did?”

>Yep. Tested you to see if you figured out the problem, and you did. Now we just have to go about fixing it.

“Just like that?”

>Well, that's how it works, right? You find a problem like a leaky pipe, and you figure out how to stop the leak. Why not the same with learning?

“...I guess that makes sense.”

>Course it does, I'm a master of logic. Still don't want to go to Partyland?

“...Can I bring my books? I wanna try it again.”

His smile nearly reached his ears.

>Two? I think you're going to be just fine.

Her own smile was the only one wider than his. Just like that, the light was back in her eyes.

“Thanks, Daddy.”

>Well...

She was back against his chest again, nuzzling happy into the white coat.

>...let's just say I know a thing or two about being afraid of tests.

The one great things about daughters?

They don't usually mind when tears get in their hair.
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>Suckerpunch
"41"
'Changeling'

"HYA!"

The karate chop flies at Suckerpunch's head with a blinding speed, he dodges it mere seconds before impact.

>Hey 41.

"Hi! Hold still! HYA!"

>Hyup! Hey knock it off, will ya? Gotta talk to you!

"Nope! You're a big bad detective now, I gotta keep ya on your toes...hooves? I dunno. I saw it in a movie once, something about a purple puma!"

>Do I look like Inspector Coltseau to you? Hey! Whoa! Quit it!

"Never! Hone your reflexes! Hone theeeeem!"

41 makes to pounce the pegasus guard, which he meets with a grapple, sending the two tumbling to the ground in a tangle of scrabbling limbs. Managing to stay on top for just a few moments, Punch pins the changeling fight junkie down.

"Nnngh...oh alright! What do ya wanna talk to me about?"

>These.

Punch holds up the two tickets from High Roller.

>Wanna go to Partyland?

"...EEEEEEEEE!"

Punch quickly finds himself on the bottom, being shaken by 41.

"YES! YES! YES! YES!"

'Hey guys? Who had money on today's date!? I think they're doing it!'
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>Gwen
"Idris"
~~~~~

King and Queen sit on opposite ends of an infinitely long dinner table, each reading a newspaper.

"So I here the ponies are planning a trip to... blast, what was the name again?"

>Partyland, Idris. It's a maniacal theme park crafted by the pink mare who does drugs.

"My word, does she really?"

>No, but the rumor mill has been surprisingly dull lately. Spread the word, won't you?

"I'll not mar my tongue with deceit, dear. Even if it is against the ponies."

>Ah, but you are a prude.

"And you are distracting. Back to my question."

>Which was...?

"It appears even the princess herself is going...."

>Riveting headline, I can see it already. "Princess of entire land needs break like the rest of us".

"I sometimes forget how alluring your sarcasm is."

>Mmmm....~

"But moving on, so I sat and I thought... here we have a lone castle with most of its main forces gone. Quite an... inviting scene, wouldn't you say?"

>...
"..."

>You know, I'm going to pretend that such a cowardly act was never uttered by a husband of mine, a gryphon whom I hold with the utmost respect for his tact and delivery. Yes, that's what I'll do, because last I checked, we were a step above the Neighponese. Such a backdoor plan seems more their speed.

"...Faust above I love you."

>Mmmmm....~
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>Chrysalis
"Mane-iac"
~~~~

>Why are you packing a rubber duck?

"BECAAAAUSE MY FRIEND EMPRESESTA! I MAY NEED IT TO FACE THE FORCES OF GOOD!"

>Are you ever going to stick on a name for me?

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

>Heh, that's what I like about you, Maney, you're honest.

"I cannot tell a lie, for in my MADNESS ALLLLL TRUTHS COULD BE LIIIIIIES!"

>Deep.

"Is it? I just blinked out, what did I say?"

>Meh, nothing important.

"Shoot, need to pay attention more... anyway, this looks like it will be A TIME OF INSAAAAAAANE MERRIMENT AND JOY!"

>Yeah, probably.

"INDEEEEEEDAHAHAHHA!"

>HAH! Always looking on the bright side of things. To be honest, I do not know why Shiny keeps wanting me to send you to a psychologist. You look pretty well adjusted!

"AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!"

>See that? What well adjusted individual doesn't just have themselves a nice laugh sometimes.

"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!"

>You said it.
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>Rarity
"Applejack"
~~~~~

*SLAM!*

>APPLEJACK! WE HAVE TO GO TO PARTYLAND!

"...Uh... yeah, was actually plannin' ta' ask ya'.. why-"

>BECAUSE SPIKEY WIKEY IS GETTING TAKEN BY THE ANNOYING ONE WITH THE ROCKET LAUNCHER!

"Diamond Tiara?... Ya' know she only does it ta' annoy you, right?"

>IT'S WORKING!

"Why? No, seriously askin', ya' do remember YA'LL are the one who made his eyes go all heart shaped since he went ta' ponyville, right? He used ta', like, float and stuff. It was weird."

>Yes, but after our little moment when I was... a-hem, a touch on the larger size, I became more weary about it! It's not a sure thing anymore! You, I don't mind going after him because I trust you completely and to be frank I would go after you in the right circumstances.

"You keep bringin' that up..."

>BUT NOT HER! She is a shrill, annoying little drama queen of a filly and I will not have her after my Spikey Wikey!

"...So-"

>SO WE ARE GOING TO PARTYLAND AND YOU ARE BEING MY WINGPONY!

"Ha, okay, no way am Ah'-"

A piece of paper was tossed onto the desk.

"...Ya' know that was a gag gift, right?"

>That coupon is still valid!

"Dang it, Big Mac, this is the last time Ah' go ta' you fer' last minute gift ideas."

>LAST MINUTE!? It was my birthday! I'd been telling you about it for months!

"...So, uh, partyland! Yeeehaw, right?"

>...

"..."

>...Gonna be a ball, Ah' can tell.
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~~~
Aaaaaaaah!

Chitania!
Chitania!
Thirty hands high
Weighs a fucking ton

Dragons beware
Diamond dogs beware
She's coming
She's coming
She's coming

Let me lay this on the line, She had two on the vine
I mean two sets of ovaries, So divine

On a crystal pony, She wanders cities and groves
Carrying Mr. Popcorn, In her perfect hooves

Here comes Chitania, out of control
Queens dug her plot and her gallant stroll

She crushed opponents' brains
Or killed them with candy canes

She's coming
She's coming
She's coming

Chitania!
Chitania!
Eight foot eighty
Rampages for fun

Crushed
Crushed
Equestria

She's coming
She's coming
She's coming

Sue me if I'm just going on
But Chrysalis' hive wishes she was their mom

Has a crown for her crown
Has four additional hearts

She'll buck you apart
She'll buck you apart

Oh!

She'll spare children
But not the griffon children

She'll spare children
But not the griffon children

She'll spare children
But not the griffon children

She'll spare children
But not the griffon children

Has a pocket full of diaries
Wants to fuck up shit up stairs
Threw a knife into heaven
And can kill with a stare

She onced punched a dragon right out of the sky
Tried to kill her sister in a dual, but never said why

Chitania!
Chitania!
A hundred stories tall
Made of Rage-iation

Ponies beware
Changelings beware

She's coming
She's coming
She's coming
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NON CANON

>"Fluttershy"
"Discord"
-Pinkie Pie-
'"???'"

---

-And then we'll sing! And we'll be haaaaappy Yip-Yip-Yipee! Sing a song for yooou~ An-- Huh, what's that sound?-

"You know Fluttershy, I really don't think a closet is a good place to talk. And really, what did you even want to ta--MPH!"

>"Naughty Draconequus, you know what you're supposed to call me in private~"

"...*Mumble* Apologies, ...Mistress Flutters..."

>"That's beeetter~"

"Ahh~! D-don't touch me there of all places... not in a closet, anyway..."

>"But you like it there when you're tense, ya know~"

"Well I... yes, b-but..."

-HI GUYS!! I thought I heard you Discord!-

>"GWAH!"
>"GAHH!"

-...-

>"Um... h-hello, Pinkie."

"Oh sure, now you're shy(!)"

>"W-we were just discussing... um..."

-I know what you were doing!-

>"O-oh dear, you do?"

-Why yeah! You're a Fluttershy clone! And you're being a meaner trying to trick Discord, but Discord's the tricky master, he knew you were a fake!-

"..."

>"I'm... M-me. Proper Fluttershy."

-...-

>"Please don't mention this to anyone."

-...I guess! OKAYSEEYABYE!!-

"You really ought to pick your moments better."

---

-And then she was all like, "But I thought you like it thereeee!" *Giggle*-

"'Oh darling! This is delicious, please do go on!'"
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>Fluttershy
"Discord"
~~~~~

"LOOK OUT BELOOOOOW!"

A gigantic bull riding a rainbow strapped to a rocket and rocking a hula hoop smashed into the unsuspecting yellow shape just an instant before she could have possibly reacted, scattering her into a bunch of dust.

"Well, that's another one up, Fluttershy!"

>Down, Discord. It's another one down.

"Fluttershy, I do not know the full effects of gravity, and I have sixteen citations for violating said law of gravity to prove it, but that dust is going up."

>...Oh, okay.

"Well, that makes what, six hundred?"

>If you say so...

"Ready to bring in your frie-"

>NO!

He sighed, snapping his fingers and producing a tea set from thin air.

"Really, Fluttershy, we should ask them for help."

>It's my fault.

"Well, if you want to be technical, it's mine."

>...

His ears, and horns, drooped just a bit.

"I'm sorry."

>Oh no! I told you I don't blame you, really!

"No no, you should. I didn't know how it worked, but I did it anyway."

>You only did it because I was feeling left behind...

"Yes, well... I should have been more careful."

>It seemed like it worked.

"The worst disasters always start with that..."

Gently, he put an arm around her.

"So, how long until Twilight figures out how you "Counter" my magic?"

>...I've kept it from her so far.

"You shouldn't."

>Discord, I... I don't want them to think you need to stay away from me.

"...Maybe I should-"

She hugged him.

Didn't even let him finish, just threw her arms around his chest and wouldn't let go.

Oh, like he was going to be able to say another word on the matter after that.

"...Well! Feel like going for six hundred and one?"

She smiled at him. A forced, strained smile, but it was a smile.

>Actually... I think I could a break.

"Fluttershy you read my mind!"

She giggled as the top of his head flew off, revealing a coloring book filled with priceless artwork.

>How does Partyland sound?

"It sounds like-"

The unintelligible sound that came out of his mouth would haunt her for the rest of her days.

"In cthuluian, at least. Let's go-"

>WAIT!

He paused just before he snapped his fingers.

>How about we fly there instead?

"...That sounds wonderful! WE'RE OFF!"

From the ground, a massive flying carpet broke loose, and carried them off into the sky.

Behind them, well out of their sight and hidden away, a leather clad hoof spun around in the air slightly, and drew the sparkling dust the clone left behind to it.

The dust landed on skin, and vanished as if it never was.

Oh yeah...

{Mistress will make you all my harem.}
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MEANWHILE, BACK IN SWEET APPLE ACRES

>Winona, dagnabbit, girl, why ain'cha buckin' them trees? We need yore help since Jackie done left!

*bark bark! bark!*

>T'ain't nothin' fer it, gal, you gotta get them apples out of them trees one way or another, by goshern!

"Eeyup."

*bark! grrrrrrr...*

>Now don't you be givin' me no lip, girlie!

"Nope."

*whiiiiiine... pant*
*bark!*

A single apple drops to the ground near where Winona is sitting, tongue out as she pants.

>Yeeeeee-hew, now that's more lahk it!

THE NEXT WEEK:
Headline of the Foal Free Press:
"Ponyville Canine Perfects Technique of Apple-Barking!"
subtitle
"'She's our new head of business!', proclaims local mare"
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>Celestia
“Jet Set”
~~~~

>Jet Set.

She’d only whispered his name and he was there, head bowed in silence.

>…

“…”

>Do you really need my permission to speak every time I call? I’m already summoning you. That should be suitable acquiescence.

There was a note of teasing to her inquiry and Jet caught it in an instant. It left him both confused and thrilled. Thrilled because it’d been some time since his Queen had showed her playful side and confused as to what brought it on.

There were half packed suitcases leaned up against her desk… formal notes of withdrawal from upcoming meetings… her radiant smile….

Ah.

“Taking a break, my Queen?”

>Princess, Jet, and yes I am! To Partyland as a matter of fact, the spot that Pinkie Pie built?

“Ah yes, the theme park that’s in violation of at least twenty zoning laws, carries sixty-three health criticals and skipped it’s last routine maintenance check-up to put in a cotton candy slash fondue fountain….”

He’d mumbled it under his breath, his shades glistening with the joyful shine Celestia seemed to be exuding. She really was… excited for this.

>Oh, it’s going to be so much fun. Each passing hour just brings more excitement, and the entire castle is absolutely buzzing with chatter. Vacation this, vacation that, not a single frown or hint of worry….

Moments like this, when little trickles of Celestia’s genuine happiness slipped through the mask crafted eons ago… it made Jet want to try all the harder to bring her glory.

“I’ll accompany you as always, my Queen. Just as well considering the Titan was vanished completely once again.”

>That’s actually why I summoned you, Jet Set. You’re going on vacation as well.

“I respectfully decline, ma’am. I need no vacations, no sick days, no rest. You know this.”

>As my shadow, you are to do as I do, and when the body rests then the shadow…?

She left the question hanging, smiling that caring smile over her desk at him.

“Sticks close to the body. Which I will be doing at Partyland.”

It was adorable, the way she huffed at his calculated words but his training had killed all receptors to such a display.

>Jeeeet…

Well… nearly killed all receptors.

“…I will ride… the sugarcube spinner. Once.”

Celestia clopped her hooves once, then, apparently remembering her position, gave an awkward cough and set to shuffling papers that didn’t need to be shuffled.

>Th-that is acceptable. Very acceptable. You’ll be able to relax, we all will, all of us.

“Yes, my Queen. And in an effort at appeasing your wishes, if I’m not to be your security detail… then who is?”

>Really, Jet, this time? No security detail. We’re going there to have fun.

The shades hid it extraordinarily well when Jet’s eyes narrowed.

“It’s not like you to dodge questions, ma’am, so I’ll chalk it up to not speaking loud enough and ask again. Who will be your security detail?”

>Shiny. I didn’t want him to but… he says he’ll look after me.

“Huh.”

>…You don’t approve?

“I uttered nothing, my Liege.”

>Jet, your pragmatic tone might fool others but I can pick apart the differences just as easily as I can two pieces of cake. Just say it. You don’t approve.

“…There are a great many things about that dropout that I don't approve of but it’s neither my place or right to speak out against the decision of my Queen. We shall both be there, him visible, and me… invisibly riding right behind you on the watermelon whirlwind.”

>The watermelon whirl-…? Where did she come up with these names?

“Faust only knows, ma’am.”

There was nothing but acceptance shining from Celestia’s face and she nodded.

>Sounds fine. Dismissed, Jet. And… enjoy yourself, okay?

“When you’re having a good time then so am I. Farewell.”

The room was once more only occupied by a single white alicorn, one who began to hum happily as she continued filling out files.
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>Applejack
"Twilight"
~~~~

>Do ya' really need to pack all that stuff?

"No."

>...

"...I don't, do you think I shouldn't?"

>Well, Ah' guess it can't hurt so long ya' ain't expectin' me ta' carry it.

"Oh, Applejack, I would never-FUCK!"

>Well, yer' pa will be happy.

"NO! LOOK!"

From underneath a giant pile of cloths, she pulled up...

The crystal box the Tree of Harmony had given them.

>...
"..."
>...
"..."
>...
"............."
>.....................HUH.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"???"
~~~~~

The warrior known as 42 had conquered many obstacles in her life.

This was not one of them.

>CLOSE!

No matter how she shoved, or pushed, her suitcase lid would not give that satisfying click.

>CLOOOOSE!

Seemingly to spite her, it instead erupted back open and spilled out it's contents.

>FOR FUCKS SAKE! Why now, suitcase? We've been through so much together!

Alas, the suitcase she had stolen a great many years ago and carried with her to present day would not answer.

For it was a suitcase.

>I don't understand! What's changed...

Idly, she counted her spilled items on the floor. A raincoat in case of a sudden shower, a bag of survival rations in case she gets hungry, her brass horse shoes in case someone tries to start something, pretty standard...

Oh, right, there was also the umbrella in case Cadence forgets hers again. And a towel in case her Majesty gets into another foodfight. And a camera to take pictures with, just in case Shining Armor runs out. Oh, and of course she needed a band in case Mane-Iac broke hers to keep that hair under control, and a couple pencils for 18, OH! And of course another bag of marchmalleys, can't ever have enough....

Huh.

"Pretty cool feeling, huh?"

Magically, all of her items stacked together much more neatly in her pack, and that click went off. She felt a chitinous foreleg sling over her shoulders, and a quick glance let her see 18's cocky smirk.

"Yeah... I thought the same thing too."

Playfully, she pushed off, and smacked 42 on the ass.

"Well, get going! We've got fun for the whole family to enjoy! Personally, I'm hoping Chrysalis loses it on the tilt-a-whirl, I've got a camera all ready for it."

Flippantly, she strutted out, giving one last look before she shut the door.

>...Fun for the whole...

She did not know why her brain had chosen this moment, as she clutched her bag to her chest, to go silent.

But she didn't mind. She doubted she could explain that feeling in her chest anyway.
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