Day 249

Day 249

Something soft lands on my back, and a pair of small arms wrap around my waist.

Winter is refusing to let go of its hold over Min, rendering the entire world white.  Some snow is still falling, while other specks are so small that they seem to hang still in the air.  The sparse interruptions of man-made color seem rude, like someone shouting in a library.  In the distance a man and his monstrous companion walk closely together toward their destination.

I finally state “You've found the wrong person.”
“I haven't,” the monster insists.  To be fair, it might be an overly amorous woman, but I'm comfortable assuming.
“Oh, they all think that at first.  They think 'this one will change.'  I won't.”
“I don't want you to.”
“I will literally explode if you attack me.”
“I know.”

I look back to the thing behind me, and a pair of small, green things twitch in the air.
“Do I know you?”
“We met on a train.”  The mantis looks up at me as it answers.  “You helped me.”
“Ah.  I think I remember that.”
“Mm.”

I expected it to keep talking.  “So then.  Why is this happening?”
“I needed to do this.”
“Did you?”
“The urge was overwhelming.”
“The urge to hold someone?”
“Yes.”
“Odd.”
“Mm.”

I slowly work through the problem of if this counts as assault on a paladin.  Technically, I'm certain that it does.  The better question is whether I would get in trouble if I used that as an excuse.
The relatively tiny, warm things slowly holds me more tightly.
I don't feel like hurting it.

“Let go of me.”
“I need this.”
“I'm willing to exile you.”
It stares at me for a long moment.  “You're not.”
“How certain are you of that?”
“Very.”

What did you do today, Sentinel, the mental image of the autocrat asks me.  Well sir, I decided whether or not I was bluffing a mantis.
“I need to finish my rounds.”
The thing releases my back.
It then latches onto my arm.
“There.”
“I've killed for less than this.”
“Mm.”

I wonder if I've lost some sort of intimidating quality that I'd had before.  I remember walking through town soaked in blood.  Maybe I just need to do that again.
The thought passes through my head, but I know that I'm not really considering it.  I wonder if it's the weather, or if I'm just wearing down.  I set off through the snow.  It won't be long before it starts to turn that dirty grey-brown, but for now it seems to clean.

“All right then.”
And with that, we walk.

---

“Do you watch this alley?”
“Not specifically, no.”
“Then why are you here?”
“You reminded me of it.”  After a brief silence, I add “This is where I first killed.”
“You had a good reason.”
“I didn't, actually.”

“Then, you were scared.”
“I wasn't that, either.  I haven't felt that since I felt this weight on my neck.”

“Why,” it finally asks.
“Instinct and reflex.”

“You don't want to kill me.”
“You're perceptive.”
“I have six eyes.”
“Fair.”

We stare at the alleyway for a minute longer.  “Are you ready to let go now?”  Its grip lessens, bit by hesitant bit, until it releases my arm.  “Excellent.  You should be talking to some mage somewhere, anyway.”
“Why?”
“I've never heard of a mating season passing like this for your kind.  It's probably the infertility treatment.  I'm sure some scholar would want to know about this.”

It stares at me for long enough that I begin to wonder if it will move until I do.  “You're perceptive, too,” it finally states.
“I wouldn't go that far.”  Comfortable that I'm done with this, I start to walk off.
“I've never spoken this much at once.  With anyone.”
I turn and I look at the thing.  There's something to its expression.  Confusion?

“Don't follow me.”
“I still-”
“I will exile you if you touch me again.”  I hold eye contact, this time.  “I trust you're perceptive enough to know that I mean it.”

I walk, sparing a glance back as I turn the corner to the figure still standing there in the snow.  It spoke plainly, and didn't resort to any trickery or low cunning.  I appreciate that.
If only all of the things were like it, I wouldn't be needed.  I wouldn't want to be needed.

The city is a roiling pot of hungry predators amidst their prey, and a handful of souls with the will and training to keep them from overtly defying order.  That our presence means so much is a testament to our abilities, and to the fear we put in them.

I'm spending too much time here.  I'm spending too much time around them.  Every time my guard drops I have to remind myself that they're no different than their forebears, who hunted humanity mercilessly when they had the upper hand.  Every time I still find my resolve lessened.  What am I doing here if I forget that?

I need to submit another request for the indoctrinators.  It's been too long already, and I still haven't heard anything.

For now, though, I make my rounds through the empty streets.

The silence is welcome.  The city is at its most pleasant when there are no distractions and I can just enjoy the natural beauty of the land or the comforting homeliness of the buildings.  One could be forgiven for thinking that there isn't a care in the world.

In truth, I like this city.  I've been thinking that I would like to die here.

---

“You found the wrong person.”
“Nuh-uh!  You're the one who helped me!”
I turn back, to see a dog-thing with white hair and one ear broken such that it points outward, rather than up.

I'm having an odd day.

“You smell nice!”