(TF) Celestia and Luna pick on humans for fun 11 (B+)

"Anon? Human?"
>You have no idea what this clown is saying, but he's staring at the monster!
>He's looking at it as if he can actually see it.
>"Don't tell me you don't remember who you are Anonymous. Hah, you're pretty gone aren't you?"
>Another cackle, but why is he calling you Anon?
>Why does that name seem so familiar?
"My name is Spit Shine. I don't know any 'Anonymous', and what about that hoo-mon you were talking about?"
>He just stares at you for a moment before splitting his sides.
>"You're... haha... more worried about the thing standing next to you than you're true name?"
"That's not my name! I've never gone by-"
>You're sentence is cut off by a splitting headache.
>[You are Anon aka "Shiner" and you're nearing your breaking point]
"Aaagh," you shout, clutching your head in your hooves and falling to the floor on your stomach.
>What was that!?
>You peer up at the monster, and find him merely looking at you with concern.
"A-Are you Anonymous?" you ask it.
>"It's much worse than that my dear 'Spit Shine.' So much worse."
>Running Gag now stands above you with a sinister grin.
>He turns up to the monster, sticks his tongue out, and blows a raspberry at it.
>"It doesn't have to be this way Shi-" Running Gag is quickly cut off by the sound of a door flying open.
>"H-Hello?" a mysterious male voice echoes throughout the warehouse.
>You turn to see who just spoke, but immediately turn back to see Running Gag and the office mare escaping.
1/7

>"You dolt. You may have just allowed them to escape," another voice chastises the other, sounds female.
>Scrambling to your feet, you look around for an exit.
>You're about to run, but a light focuses its attention on you.
>That's a unicorn light spell!
>"You there! Halt!" you do just that as your body locks up at the command.
>This night just keeps getting worse and worse.
>Two ponies approach you, and you can only hope your bladder remains strong.
>The figures take on full shape, and you recognize the armor they're wearing.
"L-Lunar guards? What's going on?"
>"We might ask you the same question," the female guard replies.
>A pegasus bat stallion, and a white unicorn mare?
>You've really stepped in it this time Shiner.
>The monster feels the same way for a moment before commenting on the mare's flank.
>Why does he have to say it in the most perverted ways possible?
>And just what does "if the flank aint blank, it's good enough to spank" mean?
>The monster hasn't made any passes at fillies, but that sounded wrong on every level.
>"Would you mind telling us what you were doing here?" the stallion asks.
>Is that spaghetti you smell?
"I w-was meeting a mare from the castle here. She left me a note before asking that I meet her here."
>LGS:"A secret rendezvous huh? Was it just you two in here?"
"N-No. Running Gag was here too."
>"What? Running Gag?" they both blurt out in unison.
>You glumly nod your head.
2/7

>"Well cap, what do you think we should do?" the mare asks the stallion.
>LGS:"Would you stop calling me that? Anyway, we need to find him as soon as possible. The princess said we were to bring him in at all costs."
>LGM:"But, what about the kid here?"
"I couldn't really tell you anything beyond which way they went."
>You point your hoof towards the direction Running Gag and the mare escaped to.
"When you two showed up, the mare I was meeting and Running Gag took off that way."
>How would you explain the monster, and how could you possibly explain that Running Gag could see your hallucination?
>You don't even believe it yourself, plus there's that "Anon" business to think about.
>Looking back towards the guards, you decide focusing on the stallion would be a better direction to face.
>The monster is currently feeling up the mare's flank like there was no tomorrow.
>Heh, there won't be a tomorrow for it soon enough.
>LGS:"Are you sure that's all you know? Anything, no matter how minor, could help."
"Just that the mare was with him. She set the meeting up, but I don't know why. I can give you the note she left if you want it."
>You reach into your bag and pull out the note.
"It's just a rendezvous request, but it's all I've got."
>The unicorn picks the note up with her magic and reads it.
>LGM:"There's nothing in this note. She left the kid completely in the dark it seems."
"Tell me about it. All she said is that Running Gag wanted to meet me. I didn't even get a chance to hear why before you guys came."
>LGS:"Go home and get some rest then. I suggest avoiding too many other errands for the night."
>You'd be more intimidated by this guy if you didn't smell spaghetti for some reason.
3/7

"Yes sir."
>The two guards salute you before shooing you out of the warehouse.
>Something was up with those two.
>That mare was too buddy buddy with that stallion.
>She did call him "cap" though, like captain maybe?
>Forget it, you have more important things to worry about.
>Barely avoiding imminent disaster with a few monstrous hallucinations, you finally arrive at Joe's.
>You had thought the hallucinations beyond the monster were slowing down, but every so often you see a few here or there.
>They're not as bad as the monster though, he's too distracting.
>Maybe you missed some hallucinations due to his... ugh, perversions?
>"Hey there Shiner, you're back early," Joe jokes with a grin.
"Haha, yeah. It was a total bust. I got nothin for my troubles."
>"Ouch. Did she not show up?"
"She-" you stop and think for a second, "basically, yeah."
>"Horseapples Shiner. What really happened?" Joe's stare is in full 'tell me the truth' mode.
"Tch, fine. You remember that unicorn, Running Gag, who disappeared along with a bakery?"
>"I remember that weirdo. Good clown, but he definitely had issues."
"She wanted me to meet him apparently."
>Joe, for the first time you can remember, gasps.
"Yeah, seems he wanted to meet me specifically. I never found out why, but that's what the note was about."
>"What ended up happening?"
"Two goofy guards showed up and scared em off."
>"Goofy guards?"
4/7

"Lunar Guards. White unicorn mare, and what I think might have been their captain. The mare was pretty buddy buddy with the cap, but the cap himself... I dunno. Maybe I was in the middle of another hallucination."
>"Okaaay..."
"I wouldn't worry about it. It seems the princesses want him for questioning and stuff I guess."
>"I would imagine so."
>You take a seat at the counter and lower your head in your hooves.
"I really want to forget this whole night ever happened. Yeah we got that doctor's name, but you didn't see Running Gag. I hope I never see him again."
>"Was he that bad."
"Complete psycho. Even had the most chilling laugh you've ever heard. Each 'ha' was like a cold breath on my spine."
>Joe, having walked around to your side of the counter and sat next to you, puts a hoof on your shoulder.
>"Forgetting that crazy unicorn might be the best idea. Go home, and get some rest. We'll find that specialist tomorrow, and get you all set up. Besides, if the Lunar Guard is on his case, he most likely won't be stalking you for a while. No doubt they'll be keeping an eye on you in some manner."
"Oh that will really help me sleep at night," you chuckle.
>Joe laughs and punches your arm lightly.
>"Go get some sleep Shiner. You need it," Joe says, nudging you off the stool.
"Gee, thanks friend."
>"Haha, get out of here man."
>You start trotting towards the door, but stop for a moment.
"Thanks Joe. No really, I think I'll be okay if I've got somep0ny besides a crazy doctor behind me."
>"Anytime Shiner."
5/7

>Exchanging good-byes, you make your way home.
>The monster seems pretty lost in thought for now.
>Whatever, you're lost in your own thoughts too.
>What did Running Gag want, who was Anon, and how could he see the monster as well?
>With a depressive sigh, you trudge your way into your apartment.
>Shutting the door, you drop your bag and head over to the couch.
>That fiend is already asleep when you climb into your makeshift bed.
>He's sleeping like a newborn on his stomach with his head on the floor and flank high in the air.
>It's like he just slumped to the floor.
>You're not surprised, accursed beast has no shame anyway.
>Despite all the nightmares you've had, sleep is a welcomed respite.
>You don't even care that a claw is pushing from the inside of your hoof.
>Almost looks like it's trying to escape from inside your body.
>Freaking out can wait, slumber land is cal-
>zzzzz
6/7

>"Well, he certainly puts up quite a fight. Don't you agree sister?"
>Unbeknownst to you, a certain pair of sisters watch you from the rooftop across the street.
>PC:"You're right little sister. I'm still unsure of how he managed to fend off the hallucinations like that."
>Luna is about to speak up when one of her guards lands beside her.
>He whispers in her ear for a moment, salutes, and then takes off.
>PC:"Trouble?"
>PL:"It seems that Running Gag has taken an interest in our latest project."
>Celestia lets out a sigh.
>PC:"He finally returns. I just hope we can get to him in time. It was a mistake to give him the powers he possesses, but it's too late for regrets now."
>PL:"What are we going to do about his interference?"
>PC:"There's nothing we can do as long as we can't find him. He has to come to us sooner or later, but I fear for our ponies. We should keep the Lunar Guard on alert, and have the Royal Guard conduct casual sweeps of Canterlot for now."
>PL:"A wise decision sister. He cannot be allowed to roam free any longer."
>Celestia just stares at your sleeping form once more.
>PC:"You're right little sister. He was our mistake, and we're the ones who should fix it."
>She turns her head back to her sister with a gentle smile.
>PC:"This is the price we pay for our kind of fun."
>PL:"Indeed it is. I shall go to inform the Lunar Guard of their new status."
>With a nod from Celestia, Luna takes off towards the castle.
>Before taking off herself, Celestia glances back at you one last time.
>PC:"I hope you enjoy Dippy's help, Spit Shine. I chose him myself."
>Giggling, she disappears in a flash.
7/7