Random Oneshots

Bedwetter Lucy
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>It happened again.
>No matter how hard she tried to stop it, she always failed.
>After letting out the softest spoken 'sigh' she could, Lucy quickly went to work.
>She moved as expediently as she could without making enough sound to disturb her roommate.
>Holding onto the bundle of soiled linens and clothing as tight as possible, she grabbed her flashlight and surreptitiously crept her way through the house.
>Luckily no one else was awake at this hour.
>Taking extra care to not let the stairs creak, Lucy slowly descended into the darkness of the basement.
>As the last of her footsteps met the solid concrete of the floor, she felt her tense body finally go slack.
>She spared no time in getting her bundle into the machine, almost giving Lori a run for her speed.
>Hearing the soft hum of the washer brought her spirits further down than they usually were.
>This wasn't even the first time this week, and probably not the last time this month.
>Lucy leaned against the machine until the vibrations forced her to slide down to the floor.
>With the atmosphere of despair further exacerbated by the chilling caress of the frigid floor against her skin, Lucy sighed once more as she took out her private diary.
>Penning down her frustrations and anguish in secret at least gave her one ray of hope: at least no one will find out her new darkest secret.


Lisa Loses
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>"Lincoln, is this really necessary?"
"You lost the bet, fair and square. Time to uphold your end of the bargain, sis."
>As the pile of clothes drew ever nearer, Lisa turned towards her elder brother with desperate eyes.
>"Come on, double or nothing, please!"
"Nope, I will not risk losing like that. Now, hop to it."
>Resigned to her fate, Lisa let out a sigh of defeat.
>She plunged her small hand into the hamper and dug out an article of clothing.
>After taking a brief sniff, she tossed the article of clothing to the ground.
>Tears welled up in her eyes from the horrible smell.
>"Lincoln, please, this is inhumane!"
"You were going to get to test your hair growth serum on me. I was willing to look like a gorilla for you. Fair's fair."
>Crying from a mixture of disgust and humiliation, Lisa resumed her foray into the depths of Lincoln's hamper.
>The process began to wear down her spirits even further.
>About an eighth of the way through the hamper, Lisa curled into a ball and wiped away the collection of snot and tears with her sleeve.
>"How did Lynn's laundry even get mixed in with yours?"
>As Lincoln flipped through his comic, he let the thought enter his mind for a moment before it fell out.
>How it happened didn't matter, so long as someone else sorted his clothing from hers.
>"Why did I ever agree to this!?"
>Lincoln smiled as Lisa endured her torture.
>It felt nice to win for once.

Noodle Apocalypse
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>The whistling of the kettle turned Lincoln's attention to the counter once more.
>He promptly shut off the burner as he moved the kettle to his cup.
>Lincoln smiled as the fragrance danced under his nose.
>After hitting the fill line, Lincoln set the kettle back onto the burner and watched his noodles slowly soften as the broth infused into them.
>Grabbing a clean fork from the drawer, he slowly jostles the contents around as he turns his attentions to the dusky light coming through the window.
>Gazing at the view outside, he couldn't help but think about the thoughts weighing on his mind.
>Most of it was banal and typical.
>The topic of his research paper, what to get Clyde for his birthday, and how many more times before Lynn breaks one of his bones with her surprise wrestles session.
>One thought began to win out above all others as his wistful eyes watched the sun going down the horizon: what was he going to do about his love life?
>Could he do anything about his love life?
>It seemed that every time he tried to take the initiative, he always came up short.
>And the number of girls willing to give him a shot seemed to decrease every day.
>Sure, he still carried a flame for Christina, but with what he's done lately the poor girl is probably considering a restraining order.
>And it's not like Ronnie Anne's in the running for it; if she and Lincoln were any firmer in the friendzone, she'd have a penis.
>Lincoln let out a sigh, resigned to the fact that he's got a long road ahead of him before he finds himself a real girlfriend.
>As he put his fork into the cup, twirling around the ready noodles, something caught his eye in the window.
>It looked like...a cloud?
>A really big cloud.
>From the ground.
>Then the shaking came.
>Lincoln held onto the counter and cup for dear life.
>Soon, the shaking subsided, and he gazed out the window once more.
>Fire was everywhere.
>More smaller tremors began to jostle the ground beneath his feet.

>Soon, he felt a tug on his pants.
>"Lincoln, come on, we gotta go!"
>Lisa was frantically trying to pull him away from the kitchen,
>It was then that he heard the screaming and yelling as the house became a full-on stampede.
"What's going on?"
>"It's Armageddon, Lincoln! Some idiot fired a nuke at Israel and MAD has gone completely out the window!"
>Another large tremor came and Lincoln heard the glass begin to crack, barely staying together.
>Consumed by fear, he let himself be lead by Lisa's small frame, clutching onto his noodles for security.
>His sisters panicked, grabbing everything of importance they could think of and rushing outside.
>"Forget your stupid dresses, Leni, we're literally about to be wiped off the face of the Earth!"
>"But they're my favorites!"
>"Out of the way, animals coming through!"
>As Lincoln looked at the house from the doorway, he realized that it was already on fire.
>He felt his heart drop when he saw the top floor collapse.
>"Lincoln, stop staring at the house and get in!"
>As Lincoln came out of the trance, he saw the rest of his family was already piling into Lisa's bunker.
>He quickly followed suit after Luna finished carrying her acoustic guitar inside.
>The hatch quickly shut, and he could see his entire family in disarray.
>Looking back at the hatch, Lincoln's thoughts returned to the surface above him.
>School, the comic shop, his friends...all gone.
>Up in smoke.
>Literally.
>Then, something else snuck into his mind as he thought a little bit further.
>With every single strike, the dating pool for him shrunk exponentially.
>He sighed and stirred his noodles around as he realized that the only women he'd be seeing anytime soon were his sisters and mother.
"Dang it."

A Brisk Bris
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>"Just a few more seconds and I think the blade will be ready."
>Lincoln struggled harshly against his bindings, spreading blood around the rope that secured him to the stone.
"Lucy, please, don't do this!"
>As he continued his futile escape effort, a soft hand rested itself on his face as a reassurance.
>"Don't worry, Lincoln, the process will be over quickly."
>Lucy's partner in crime wiped away the myriad fluids that stained his face with her gentle touch.
"Haiku, you can't let her do this, please!"
>"I'm sorry, Lincoln, but it's out of my hands. The ritual said we needed a freshly shorn foreskin from a prepubescent boy, and you did volunteer."
"I didn't think you were going to do this!"
>The worst possible thing that Lincoln could imagine happened: the sounds stopped.
>It could only mean one thing.
>One horrible, horrible thing.
>"I think I'll break the blade if I make it any finer. Haiku, do you have the gag?"
>"Got it right here."
>Lincoln's heart began to drown out the sounds of the two girls in front of him.
>He frantically looked for something, anything to help him.
>But there was nothing he could do.
>As Lucy approached him, Haiku took the liberty of stuffing his mouth shut with the cloth she held in her hand.
>Lincoln couldn't even scream in a last ditch effort for salvation anymore.
>"Don't worry, we did a lot of practice before we decided to go through with this, Lincoln."
>The poor boy looked on in horror as Haiku slowly pulled down his underpants, letting his manhood slip free.
>"It'll be fast, Lincoln. Lucy's going to do it quickly, like ripping off a bandage."
>As Haiku continued to calm him down, he could feel the coldness of the blade against his flaccid member.
>"You won't miss it much, Lincoln. You'll have quite a bit left when we're done, anyway."
>Lucy's statement did nothing to subdue his terror.

>As Lincoln felt the tip of his loose skin tighten, he floundered about in order to prevent his ritualized circumcision.
>The movement was soon halted as Haiku held him down, a concerned look on her face.
>"Please don't fight us; one wrong move and you'll be losing more than some skin."
>Lincoln gave Haiku a pleading gaze, welled up with sincere tears.
>Haiku merely looked away from him, and began to hum a dreary tune.
>The tears on his face began to roll free as Lucy pressed the edge onto her brother's flesh.
>He desperately wanted to scream, and tried as hard as he could to spit out the blockage in his mouth, but couldn't find the strength.
>Then it came.
>They were right about it being quick.
>But they never said anything about it being painless.
>Lincoln's vision went fuzzy as the pain began to force more tears from his eyes.
>He felt his throat nearly rip as it vibrated from his muffled screams.
>Soon, his tormentor stood over him, still bloodied from her grisly surgery.
>"I know that this was hard for you, but we really are grateful. Thanks to you, we can finally summon an actual demon to do our bidding, Lincoln."
>Lucy's arms wrapped around him in a hug, yet it was of no comfort to him.
>"Thank you, big brother."
>She planted a small peck on his cheek, and smiled gently at him.
>Through what little of his vision remained unclouded by tears, he saw Haiku tending to his wound with a roll of gauze.
>As the last bit of denial fled from his mind about what was going on, he let his head rest on the flatness of the rock.
>He closed his eyes and let the darkness take his consciousness from him.
>One thing was on his mind as the lights went out in his mind: never do Lucy a favor again.

Hot Bean on Bean Action
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>"Stop squirming, Ronnie, I can't lube you up if you keep moving like that."
>Ronnie Anne wept vigorously as the liquid found its way inside of her, along with a few of Lynn's digits.
>"Please, let me go! I promise I won't tell anyone anything, I swear!"
>Lynn stopped her application and reached out to Ronnie Anne's face, bringing her within millimeters of touching.
>"I can't let you go, Ronnie. You're mine now, remember?"
>"No more, Lynn, please! I didn't mean to hurt Lincoln!"
>"I know you didn't, but that doesn't make it any better. You still need to be punished, and I just don't think you've been punished enough, yet."
>Lynn placed a quick kiss on Ronnie Anne's lips as she trailed a slick hand her body.
>"No, please! No! No! No!"
>Ronnie Anne repeated herself like a broken record as Lynn drew near her again.
>Her cries fell on deaf ears as Lynn lined up her hips with Ronnie Anne's.
>Within a few seconds, she pushed her way into her target's battered folds.
>Ronnie Anne bawled as the violation began again.
>Lynn fell into her practiced rhythm, plunging herself within Ronnie Anne again and again.
>Having done it so many times, it was quite easy for her to resume.
>Truth be told, she wasn't really upset at what Ronnie Anne did to Lincoln.
>She'd done far worse to her brother, after all.
>But after she saw what Lincoln did with her, she had to just give her a go.
>Lincoln was beyond pleased with Ronnie Anne's performance in bed, and spared no modesty when describing the sensations to Lynn.
>As she looked down at the broken girl bucking against her strap-on, she had to agree with her brother.
>Ronnie Anne was a very nice piece of ass.


Losing Lyra
------
>There she was.
>Luna was sure about it.
>Everyone liked to pretend it never happened, but that doesn't mean it didn't.
>She remembered it all.
>And she remembered her.
>Sitting on the bus bench, she saw her daughter just pass by her.
>Walking alongside people she could only presume were her friends.
>Luna never thought she'd ever get to see her daughter.
>She was kept in the dark about where her parents sent her to.
>There she was, though.
>A quick walk away.
>Luna wanted to get up.
>She wanted to run to her daughter and grab hold of her.
>Even if it meant making a complete fool of herself and making everyone think she was a crazy woman, she'd do it for the embrace of her daughter if only that once.
>As she stood up, the bus came.
>Luna focused on the possible interaction with her daughter that she couldn't even notice the bus making its way to her.
>The door opened, and she felt torn.
>She needed to get on that bus.
>It was her one last shot at fame.
>If she missed it, she'd never get another chance.
>Yet the same was true of her daughter.
>Luna stared at the transport in front of her, not sure what to do.
>Then her legs began to move.
>One foot in front of the other.
>All the way to the entrance of the bus.
>Luna batted back her tears as she paid her fare and sat in the nearly empty vehicle.
>Looking out the window, she saw her and Lincoln's precious child turn a corner and vanish from her life once more.
>Just like the rest of her family.
>Luna simply put up her hood and stared at the floor of the bus.
>It was a stupid thought anyway.
>She had only ever hurt her family and broke them apart.
>What business did someone like that have with a child?
>None.
>That was the final thought Luna had before the bus ferried her off to Wisconsin.
>And it was the last time she ever saw Lyra.

Womanlet Woes
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>Lynn goes to the park with Lacy
>She's 6'3 and on the swings despite being 11
>Lynn's checking on her fantasy football team
>Concerned parent walks over and asks if Lynn's mother is alright
>She has to explain she's the mom and Lacy is the daughter
>Lacy gets asked out by single dad without knowing what he meant
>Lynn is about to go stop what's happening but gets pulled away by a child molester
>"Don't you want a lollipop, little girl?"
"I'm an adult! And your lollipop tastes like semen!"
>"You're pretty broken in, little girl. Daddy probably loosened you up, didn't he?"
"Who are you calling loose!?"
>Lynn proceeds to put her kegel training to good use
>Lynn reverse rapes the child molester
>After milking the molester dry, Lynn walks back to the park bench and sees Lacy talking to some other kids
>Lacy goes to hug her
>"Mom, you smell like Thursday night."
"We're leaving, Lacy."
>"Can we get ice cream?"
"Okay."
>Lynn gets carded for trying to order rum raisin

Titanic Terror
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>"Lyle, where are you~"
>The boy hiding under her laundry gave her no reply.
>He knew better.
>The moment he made a sound, she'd flock to him like an ant to a sugarcube.
>After living with his behemoth of a sister for 13 years, he knew not to let her find him.
>Especially on experiment day.
>Even thinking about it set the butterflies in his stomach off.
>"Dang it, I could have sworn he was here. Oh well, he'll turn up sooner or later."
>Lyle breathed a sigh of relief, happy to have escaped the clutches of his tormentor.
>Until he realized what he had just done.
>The footsteps were already on their way.
>His only chance to escape was to dash from the pile of freshly washed clothes.
>Moving as fast as his body could, he managed to slip by his sister.
>Or so he thought as he was clotheslined by the surprisingly firm arm of his elder sibling.
>His smaller frame was quickly foisted onto hers as she began to walk out of her room.
"Let me go!"
>"Not until you tell me how my takoyaki tacos taste."
"That's what you always say, and then I end up eating about 20 other dishes and getting a stomachache!"
>"Relax, you'll be fine."
>Lyle, resigned to his fate, pouted the whole way to the kitchen.
>He didn't know what takoyaki was, but he knew he never wanted to eat it again.