Purple Walruses

Jul 1st, 2014
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  3. >Rarity was humming happily to herself while putting the finishing touches on her latest knitting project.
  4. >Examining her work, she finally gave a satisfied nod, then glanced downward.
  5. >The bulge she was sporting wasn't outrageous yet, but nopony passing her on the street could mistake her condition anymore.
  6. >Draping the fuzzy blanket over her middle, she tittered slightly and began talking softly to her unborn foal.
  7. >"Fear not, dearest, it looks a bit silly over you now, but I guarantee you you'll look absolutely smashing swaddled up in it after you're born!"
  8. >A knock at the door broke her from her reverie, and she called out to her unknown guest to let them know it was open.
  9. >Some moments later, Anon the human strolled in.
  10. >"Why Anonymous, how nice of you to visit! What can I do for you today? Does your suit need re-fitting? Perhaps I could interest you in some of my experimental knitted apparel? Recent events have given me quite the opportunity to become proficient at it." she said with her usual flair.
  11. >Anon simply stood there, staring intently at her for several seconds.
  12. >"Erm... Anonymous? Is something the matter?"
  13. Walruses.
  14. >Rarity's nose and brow scrunched somewhat at the odd statement. "Beg your pardon?"
  15. Purple Walruses. Stop thinking about them.
  16. >Rarity's confusion grew, and she opened and closed her mouth several times.
  17. >Stop thinking about purple walruses? Thinking about walruses in general wasn't exactly something she spent her time doing, and she couldn't figure out what in Equestria he was on about.
  19. Go ahead, try it. No matter what you do, don't think about purple walruses.
  20. >"Don't be absurd, Anonymous. How could such a simple thing be even vaguely difficult?"
  21. Then do it. No walruses, especially purple ones.
  22. >Letting out a disgruntled "Hrmph!", the unicorn closed her eyes and began to meditate on her passions. Her dresses, her sewing, and now knitting for the greatest gem in her collection.
  23. >And then she realized there were purple walruses wearing all of them.
  24. >"What? No, this is completely preposterous!" she declared in growing frustration, unable to banish the visions of flouncing lavender sea mammals from her mind's eye.
  25. >Anon simply watched and nodded sagely.
  26. >Eventually Rarity let out a frustrated yell. "GAH! Why would you do this? Your walrusy insinuations will not ruin my train of thought!"
  27. So you're sure you have it under control?
  28. >"Oh, get out if you're going to be like this. I'm not in the mood for these sort of games. Yes, I have it under control. I will not think of unmentionable creatures in unusual hues."
  29. Absolutely definitely sure?
  30. >"Out!", and her magic began scooting him towards the door.
  31. Ok, that's good, that's good. I'm going to go see what Pinkie is up to this afternoon then, have a good day and take care of yourself! In your state, you definitely wouldn't want to think about how purple walruses remind you that you could auto-abort at any moment. Glad we cleared that up.
  32. >The door shuts gently.
  33. >Rarity sits stock-still, eyes wide and one twitching.
  34. >Beads of sweat begin to form on her brow.
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