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SirKeztrel

Lady Chu's Will

SirKeztrel
Jun 4th, 2016
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  1. [2016-06-04 03:54:15] <Kumoma> Chu: "Sorry, I can't trade with you. All I have is A FREAKING HOLE IN THE GROUND FULL OF GOLD, YOU DIRT POOR PLEBS"
  2. [2016-06-04 03:57:14] <Kumoma> "My Lady, our people are suffering. We need a standing army to defend us."
  3. [2016-06-04 03:57:32] <Kumoma> Chu: "Screw you defenseless plebs! I'm building a circus!"
  4. [2016-06-04 03:59:37] <Kumoma> "My Lady, our scouts have followed your mandates to the letter. They report that they're defecting after having been caned following their most recent discovery."
  5. [2016-06-04 04:10:46] <Kumoma> "Today, my children, we shall read from the book of Strawberry Panic. Please turn to chapter one."
  6. [2016-06-04 04:14:02] <Kumoma> "We have gold, spices and a freaking circus. SUCK IT, PLEBS" -- last words of Lady Chu before the sacking of U Didn't Build It City
  7. [2016-06-04 04:36:24] <Kumoma> Chu: "Why didn't any of my advisors tell me there were new developments? I told them I'd be busy at the circus!"
  8. [2016-06-04 04:38:48] <Kumoma> "My Lady, settlements across the continent are engaged in open armed conflict. Perhaps we should make preparations in the event that hostilities spread further south."
  9. [2016-06-04 04:38:56] <Kumoma> Chu: "Can't talk. Busy making it rain."
  10. [2016-06-04 04:58:03] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the advisors implore you to establish new settlements to assist us in our expansion."
  11. [2016-06-04 04:58:36] <Kumoma> Lady Chu: "And have more plebs to share my gold and march into town to crowd my circus? NEVER"
  12. [2016-06-04 05:10:35] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the people lack direction. Perhaps we should establish a church to give them guidance."
  13. [2016-06-04 05:11:03] <Kumoma> Lady Chu: Guide those plebs to the wine cellar and tell them to chill the hell out.
  14. [2016-06-04 05:21:57] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the people of Kumoma City wish to sell us iron in exchange for gold." Lady Chu: "They want HOW much? How many clowns can we hire for that? ...ARE THEY MAD?"
  15. [2016-06-04 05:26:23] <Kumoma> "My Lady, it really isn't that big a deal. We could simply build another -- " Lady Chu: THE SHRINE TO THE RINGLING BROTHERS SHALL BE AVENGED"
  16. [2016-06-04 05:35:19] <Kumoma> The priests in the holy cloister of The Church of Yuri believe in spreading yuri through the open hand rather than the closed fist. We do not force the glory of yuri upon others. We allow others to discover the glory of yuri and come to us.
  17. [2016-06-04 05:36:49] <Kumoma> "My Lady, our allies are developing new technologies to create marvels made of metal and educating their people. Our citizens are beginning to worry that they will be left behind -- " Lady Chu: "Can you use any of that crap to make cotton candy or roast peanuts? ...I shall consider it."
  18. [2016-06-04 05:42:19] <Kumoma> "My Lady! There has been a grave miscalculation in the allocation of funds from the royal treasury! The library was never constructed, and -- " Lady Chu: "Chill out, pleb. I see it, I want it, I buy it, I own it."
  19. [2016-06-04 05:48:52] <Kumoma> Lady Chu: "Fire the yuri catapults! They shall surrender quickly after they find themselves too busy reading Girl Friends to continue the battle."
  20. [2016-06-04 05:57:22] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the city of Diggers are under attack and request our aid!" Lady Chu: "Those useless plebs haven't sent us a new trained trapeze artist or human cannonball in MONTHS. Let them burn."
  21. [2016-06-04 06:07:41] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the people of the city of Worthless are flourishing. As such, they request a change of the name of their city." Lady Chu: "Have they finished inventing that clown car they've been promising? No? THEN THEY GET NOTHING AND SHALL LIKE IT"
  22. [2016-06-04 06:13:22] <Kumoma> Lady Chu needs to start standing up for her people's ideals.
  23. [2016-06-04 06:14:17] <Kumoma> The people of U Didn't Build It City are demanding that Lady Chu stop caving in to bullying.
  24. [2016-06-04 06:21:24] <Kumoma> BUY IT, LADY CHU
  25. [2016-06-04 06:21:45] <Kumoma> YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO CONSIDER THIS. THE PEOPLE OF U DIDN'T BUILD IT CITY HAVE SPOKEN.
  26. [2016-06-04 06:23:45] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the people are clamoring for the purchase of the circus fabled in the legends of old. The scribes have agreed that the prophecy is nigh."
  27. [2016-06-04 06:32:17] <Kumoma> "My Lady, our generals have requested that we use our horses and train soldiers to use them for mounted combat." Lady Chu: This will neither build the Fabled Circus of the Ages or help me become a mermaid. I have no use for these horses. Send them away."
  28. [2016-06-04 06:34:59] <Kumoma> "My Lady, an emissary from Margaritaville has arrived with a request that we teach our people astronomy for ocean navigation and build a navy." Lady Chu: "Will that help me become a mermaid? No? THEN SEND HIS HEAD BACK TO MARGARITAVILLE IN A BOX"
  29. [2016-06-04 06:51:32] <Kumoma> "My Lady, an emissary from Kumoma City has arrived with a request to assist with a naval assault against Athens. Greece has affronted Kumoma City by sending spies to spread yaoi titles amongst her people. They have decided as one that this affront to The Church of Yuri cannot stand."
  30. [2016-06-04 06:54:09] <Kumoma> "WE SHALL MARCH ON GREECE AND RAZE HER CITIES TO THE GROUND! WE MARCH UNDER THE BANNER OF SHIZUMA X NAGISA!"
  31. [2016-06-04 06:58:01] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the people understand that there is a significant difference between chariot races and lion taming. However, they have heard the word 'circus' and ceased to care as long as there are cotton candy vendors."
  32. [2016-06-04 07:03:16] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the city of Margaritaville has requested that we build an army. We have the funds and the technology to do so." Lady Chu: "So? I'm trying to build a circus maximus over here."
  33. [2016-06-04 07:03:19] <Kumoma> "But My Lady, intelligence reports suggest that the Americans have unlocked the culinary secrets of the hot dog. They can be easily packaged and distributed among patrons in stadium seating." Lady Chu: "RIP AND TEAR UNTIL IT IS DONE"
  34. [2016-06-04 07:11:19] <Kumoma> "My Lady, there has been some concern amongst the sailors. The open sea is mysterious and dangerous, and there are rumors of great sea monsters. Their safety is not guaranteed." Lady Chu: "Tell them to return to me with a mermaid or don't return at all."
  35. [2016-06-04 07:18:29] <Kumoma> "My Lady! Word from Kumoma City has arrived! Greece is planning to march against us!" Lady Chu: "I am not concerned. Our batteries of catapults are loaded with Yuru Yuri box sets. Any attack against us will cost them more than they are willing to lose."
  36. [2016-06-04 07:24:37] <Kumoma> "My Lady, we have reason to believe that our allies are in dire need and believe that we should share more of our abundant resources." Lady Chu: "Tell them that I hath decreed that they shall not hate the player, but they shall instead hate the game."
  37. [2016-06-04 07:28:48] <Kumoma> "My Lady, the construction efforts are going well. The roads to Kumoma City are nearly complete, and our soldiers are -- " Lady Chu: "WHAT? Have they been dipping into my gold reserves? I WAS SAVING THAT FOR COTTON CANDY AND MERMAID CONVERSION SURGERY! Bring me the engineers and sharpen my axe! They're about to WISH they'd taken that job building the Taj Mahal."
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