Dating an obviously trap (WIP)

Mar 1st, 2016
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  1. >So what happened?
  2. >How this happened?
  3. >When did things got to this point of your life that you had to wear a red dress and have a girly mane style?
  4. >And why are you trying to date the local green hairless monkey of Ponyville aka Anon?
  5. >It was Button’s faults. It is ALWAYS Button’s fault
  6. >When you accepted to play spin the bottle with the cutie mark crusaders and Button asked you for Truth or dare, by Tartarus, you thought he was going to challenge you to kiss one of the cutie mark crusaders… beat his high score in a videogame… spy on the mare’s bathroom… try searching for El Dorado…
  7. >But no, that wasn’t the dare
  8. >”You’ll have to wear a cute dress and try dating Anon! If you get a kiss from him, you win”
  9. >You are going to kill him for this later
  10. >Is not like you couldn’t refuse the challenge, they could have called you a chicken for not accepting it! And you are no chicken!
  11. >You are a colt- no! You are a brave stallion who can accept any challenge! Just like your brother!
  12. >…hope he never knows about this little challenge
  13. >Sweetie Belle helped you get the red gal dress (made and exported by Rarity®) and Applebloom helped combing your mane, which now was a different style…. Scootaloo did nothing but laugh at the whole challenge and Button gave you the nickname ‘Tumbla’
  14. >Looking in the mirror, there was a different colt. Rumble was gone and it was replaced with a cute filly
  15. >You can’t stop brushing…
  16. >This is the worst day of your life
  17. >Well, no running away now
  18. >You are Rumble the tumble
  19. >And you are outside Anon’s house, in your attempt to get a date with him
  20. >This is stupid
  21. >You sweat as you stand in front of his main door; your mind full of thoughts of what to do if X thing happens
  22. >Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Button were hiding in a bush. Giggling all the way at you as you stand still like a statue in a garden
  23. >You’ll have to think for a really bad dare for Button after this
  24. >But that comes later
  25. >You take a soft sigh as you knock the door
  26. >’Maybe if I tell Anon that this was a dare and if he could follow my lead on this… it’ll be all over soon’ you thought
  27. >But then they would listen to you through the window or some open part of his house
  28. >And to win this dare he has to kiss you…
  29. >This is harder than you thought and you haven’t even started!
  30. >Although they never said /which/ part Anon has to kiss you… it could be on the hoof and the dare would be over
  31. >You knock a little more on the door and hear steps inside his house
  32. >Must be Anon, he’s coming
  33. >You hear his voice inside the house as he tries to open the door
  34. >”Fucking finally, I was waiting for this pizza for HOURS. Don’t expect a change you little fu“ Anon opens the door and looks surprised, or more disappointed, as he looks at you. “You don’t look like the pizza deliver, you don’t even look like cheese pizza”
  35. >Oh god he is so tall
  36. >Okay Rumble, you got this. Just breath slowly and don’t try messing this up, the less thing you want is to Anon to notice that you are a boy
  37. >You even tried changing your voice a bit to try to convince him that you are a ‘she’
  38. “H-hello mister, I’m new to Ponyville, and I’m a mare”
  39. >Nailed it
  40. >Anon eyed you from bottom to top, giving you little shivers up your back
  41. >”Do you have a penis?”
  42. “Umm… no”
  43. >”Did you check?”
  44. “…Yes?”
  45. >Is this some kind of test? You are so nervous that you could explode by all the tension!
  46. >Take it easy Rumble… he doesn’t need to see you sweating… just keep it cool, you are a mare now, so act like one!
  47. >…no, don’t ask him to buy you jewels
  48. >”Alright little lady, I was just asking for security, you never know if someone is secretly a stallion under a dress. My name is Jesus Christ, but everyone in this town calls me Anon”
  49. >Okay, time to say your new name
  50. “H-hi, my name is Tumbla, like I said… I’m new in town” you say, trying to be as friendly as possible while smiling
  51. >Anon brings one hand to his face, stroking his chin as he thinks
  52. >”Hmm, is a pleasure to meet you, Tumbla. But… why did you come over here with me if you are new in this place? There is that big ass crystal castle that looks like a toy for little girls, which lives her majesty, princess pork sparkle. If you can’t ask her for directions, Mayor Mare sure knows and would help you”
  53. >Oh no, think Rumble, think…
  54. “Umm, well… I… somepony told me to visit you! A-and I’m from Cloudsdale!”
  55. >”Someone in Cloudsdale told you about me? Uh, weird. I have never been in Cloudsdale, since I can’t grow wings from all of the sudden and I can’t ask the busy princess of friendship for a magic spell for it”
  56. >Okay Rumble you got this, use the logic on this one
  57. “W-well, you’re pretty famous around these lands… the only houman in Equestria, they said…”
  58. >Your heart is beating faster each sentence you say… if you can’t control yourself you are going to get a heart attack
  59. >You could feel yourself getting a little dizzy
  60. >Baby steps Rumble… baby steps and breathe slowly
  61. “And you are pretty cute…”
  62. >…
  63. >Did you say that? Oh Celestia please, make sure they didn’t hear that…
  64. >”Whoa, thanks little mare, or should I say Tumbla? Yeah, thanks Tumbla. I might be the only ‘houman’ in Equestria, but hey, that makes me unique. ” Anon said, his smile was beaming as you looked at him
  65. >Were you getting nervous or is the dress making you act more different than you thought? Your hips were itching
  66. >Must be the underwear…
  67. >Well at least is comfy to wear
  68. >You look at Anon while you smile nervously at him; time to move to the next step
  69. “Can I come inside, Anon?”
  70. >”Nigga that’s my quote”
  71. >You tilt your head as you wonder what he wanted to say by that
  72. “Ummm? I was asking if we can… enter your house and, I don’t know, talk for a while?”
  73. >”Yes, come inside. Feel free to enter my cave, but don’t expect the Holy Grail in it. I didn’t expect visitors so I don’t have my place clean”
  74. >You don’t care if the walls are sticky with cheese or if the house smells bad, you just want your kiss and this dare to be done
  75. >Anon enters the house and you follow him
  76. >His house was tiny, the living room was connected to the kitchen and there were two more doors which you think they were his bathroom and bedroom
  77. >You walk and sit on one of his couches in the living room; Anon sits in front of you on another couch
  78. >Okay, let’s get into a friendly conversation
  79. >Celestia if only you knew what to talk about…
  80. “S-so… what can you tell me about you, Anon?”
  81. >Anon puts his arms around his chest as he thinks for an answer
  82. >”Well, I’m a strong liberal ape who needs no help from no woman. Except for Applejack, cause I help her every morning, y’know, bucking apple trees with my strong arms and stuff. Is a shame I don’t have the strength to shatter rocks with my bare hands, I could be pretty famous in a rock farm with that kind of strength” Anon coughs “What about you Tumbla? Age? Zodiac sign? Favorite food? Blood type? Virgin?”
  83. >Okay, Anon must be joking about most of what he is asking, so you’ll lie about your age. Which age is good to say?
  84. >Maybe you’ll copy Miss Cloudchaser age
  85. “I’m 17 years old”
  86. >Wait, was she that old? Or was she 19 years old? You can’t remember…
  87. “I like flying around and having fun with friends… you know, dating them, kissing them, the usual…” you finish your sentence with a wink
  88. >You don’t know if you are being very direct with him, but hey, whatever gets you out of this situation will work
  89. >”Oh, so you are /that/ kind of mare, uh?”
  90. >You happily nod
  91. >Hey! Maybe this date will be over more quickly than you thought!
  92. >”It’s been a while since I meet one of your kind, wanna have some fun later?”
  93. >Yes! That must mean that he wants to go on a date with you! Score!
  94. “I wouldn’t mind!” You take a pause. “Do you have something to drink? I’m kind of thirsty”
  95. >”Sure, let me see what I got in my kitchen”
  96. >Anon stands from his seat and goes to the kitchen
  97. >Okay Rumble, you are doing well. Anon surely will date you, all you need is to be sure that he kisses you in front of them and this will be over!
  98. >You hear sounds coming from a near window of the living room, across the window they were… the cutie mark crusaders and Button, making kissing gestures with their faces…
  99. “I swear to Celestia that-“
  100. >You stop talking as Anon comes back from the kitchen holding two cups with a pink liquid in it, he hands you one cup which you hold with your two hooves and he puts his own on the table
  101. >”There you go, hope you like it”
  102. “Umm, what is this?”
  103. >You sniff the cup by curiosity; it smells like a hospital room…
  104. >”It’s wine, sorry, I don’t have water. I have this weird ass trick that let my hands turn water into wine for some reason”
  105. >Wine? Uh, you’ll never heard about this type of water
  106. >Must be a new kind
  107. >You sip your cup and as soon as some of the wine is in your throat, you cough. This tastes like cider but with something else in it!
  108. >Tastes so… weird! Like if some grapes fought against some cheap perfume and lost!
  109. >Anon notices your reaction at the wine and stares with a worried expression on his face
  110. >”What’s that? Don't you like it? I thought mares like you did like wine”
  111. >Quick Rumble! Don’t lose him! Just… try to ignore the taste and think about some taste better than it! Pineapple! Apples! Cotton candy! Anything!
  112. >Closing your eyes, you quickly drink the cup with all the wine in it, you feel as your stomach reacts badly to the wine and your throat feels like is burning
  113. “Ah… it… tastes good! Wine is my favorite drink, you know? Heh…”
  114. >It doesn’t taste anything near good, but you do it for the dare
  115. >Anon looks surprised as you drank all the wine from your cup, he sips his own cup and stands up from the couch
  116. >”I see, then let me bring the entire bottle”
  117. >No more, please…
  118. “I-I wouldn’t mind more”
  119. >You never asked for this
  120. >Only thing you know is that you can challenge Button into drinking wine… as he dresses as a breezie!
  121. >As Anon is picking up a brand new bottle from the kitchen, your thoughts focus on what to do next
  122. >Plan A: Drink the wine and talk with Anon bearing the strong drink
  123. >Plan B: Surrender and go home
  124. >Plan C: Throw the bottle at the window, hopefully, you’ll hit Button
  125. >Plan D: Surprise Anon with a kiss that should lead you to him kissing you
  126. >Anon comes back, bottle in hand but instead of sitting where he was sitting he sits at your side on the couch
  127. >…Why is Anon sitting at your side?
  128. >”Well, here’s the bottle, hope you don’t mind if I refill your cup”
  129. “Hehe… I don’t mind at all!”
  130. >Your voice is getting nervous and your hooves are shaking, you really wish he didn’t had this weird water with bad taste
  131. >Anon refills your cup and you take a sip. Yup, still tastes bad
  132. >Maybe the taste will go away if you keep drinking…
  133. >”Seems like you love the wine, good. I hope you don’t mind if I get a little bit closer”
  134. >Anon puts his left arm around your shoulders, cornering you in the left side of the couch, unable to move
  135. “Umm, suit yourself”
  136. >You sip your cup again; the taste is still the same
  137. >Your throat still burns and if your stomach had face, it would be crying right now
  138. >Maybe is time to ask Anon for that date
  139. >Maybe using that phrase that your brother uses with Flitter would make Anon to happily accept the date
  140. >You look at Anon while almost sipping the cup
  141. “So… Anon, on a scale of one to the Crystal Empire, how free are you today for a… date?”
  142. >You sip again while you wait for the answer, Anon was looking at the ceiling as he was thinking for an answer
  143. >The taste is getting a little bearable now… was this your third cup?
  144. >Golly hope you don’t get addicted to this
  145. >” Germany, 1942”
  146. >Ugh? What did he mean by that?
  147. >Is that word a city or something? Or was it that the number is over ten, which is okay for him?
  148. >Then by that logic that must mean he is free today!
  149. “So you are free!”
  150. >Anon spits out his drink and starts laughing
  151. >”Yeah, yeah I’m free Tumbla. Never felt so free before”
  152. >Why is he laughing?
  153. >Was it something that you said?
  154. >Anon calms his laughter and refills your cup with more wine, as much as you don’t want more, you’ll have to drink it
  155. >You don’t want to look like a bad visitor, right?
  156. “So… can we go today on a date?”
  157. >”Premature, are we? Heh, just like me. Where would you like to go? Dinner in Canterlot? A walk near the Everfree Forest? Watching the stars on the roof of my house this night?”
  158. >You both hear knocks on the main door repeatedly
  159. >”Or we could eat pizza here and well… do other things later, when the wine hits you. What do you say?”
  160. >The wine can hurt you!?
  161. >…No, maybe he said it for something else
  162. >Okay Rumble, Just act friendly with Anon and make sure to sound one hundred percent kind with him
  163. “I-I wouldn’t mind being with you in this day, I’m glad I’m here with you… but a walk through the forest would be delightful, or maybe we could watch the sunset as we grab our hooves…”
  164. >Okay, maybe you overdid it
  165. >”Holy shit, don’t act so lewd yet! We haven’t had dinner yet and you want to hold my hand already? Control yourself woman- er, mare” Anon stands up from the couch and goes towards the main door “If you excuse me, I’m going to answer the door. I swear if this isn’t the delivery pony…”
  166. >You overdid it!
  167. >Oh Rumble… get your stuff together! You don’t want to lose him!
  168. >…The dare! You don’t want to lose the dare!
  169. >Focus on the objective!
  170. >You look at the main door; Anon was angrily talking with the delivery pony
  171. >Poor guy, he doesn’t look like he had a good day today
  172. >You drink a little more wine while you watch Anon having a little discussion with the delivery pony. Good thing is that the wine is starting to have no bad taste
  173. >The delivery pony hands Anon the pizza and Anon pays him, closing the door behind him, Anon walks towards the kitchen
  174. >”Fucking Discord had to order a pizza when he can create thousands by a single snap of his talons, is that or the delivery guy had a really bullshit story to fake his delay…”
  175. >Discord ordering a pizza? That doesn’t make any sense
  176. >Yet again… is Discord and you heard that most of what he does doesn’t make sense
  177. “That must be the truth, he looked at the verge of crying… and his mane was all messed up. Where does Discord live anyway?”
  178. >Anon brings two plates with two slices of pizza on each plate, he leaves them on the table
  179. >You leave your cup on the table and pick up the plate, starting to eat one slice of pizza
  180. >This challenge wasn’t so bad… you get something to drink and eat… maybe this wasn’t a bad idea anymore… and Anon is charming and a good guy…
  181. >Acting like a girl maybe has its privileges
  182. >Although you were starting to get a little funny inside
  183. >”Some crazy alternative dimension, last time he invited me to his house, the fucker didn’t teleport me to his house, but to somewhere near, which was inside his dimension. He gave me a map and said ‘There, hope this works’, the fucking map was blank and it felt like I was there for a whole week”
  184. >You swallow a piece of the slice of pizza accompanied with some wine as you listen to his short story
  185. >Anon started to chew his slice of pizza
  186. >He sure was hungry… he said he was waiting for the pizza for hours, didn’t he? Poor guy…
  187. “Why was he so mean to you? Did you do something to him?”
  188. >”Nah, is his nature. Is that or he knew I was looking at Fluttershy’s ass”
  189. “Oh, I see”
  190. >Time goes by as you two talk about different subjects
  191. >Weather on Cloudsdale, problems in Ponyville, traveling around Equestria and other stuff
  192. >You weren’t listening to all the conversation as you were dizzy from something, which you thought it was the wine
  193. >Between you and Anon the wine bottle was now empty; you lost count of how many cups you drank
  194. >But hey! At least you were accepting his hospitality!
  195. >It was getting late now, as the sun was hiding near the mountains, the moon of Luna soon would be showing
  196. >You look through the window that was in the living room, outside were still waiting for something to happen the cutie mark crusaders and button
  197. >They looked very bored
  198. >Good
  199. >You lazily look at Anon; he was still at your side on the couch. You were fighting to get your voice to sound like a girl, the problem was, all that wine you drank was taking effect
  200. “Is it… twilight already?”
  201. >”Twilight? Nah she must be eating something right now or solving a friendship problem”
  202. “No no, I meant, is evening already?”
  203. >Anon stretches from the part of his couch and looks at his arm, looking at his clock he notices the time
  204. >”Yup, is going to be night soon. You got a place to stay? You can sleep with me, no problem for me”
  205. >But… what about the date?
  206. “Umm… we didn’t… have the… date yet… I wanted it to be today…”
  207. >You were starting to feel weak, your voice sounded tired and you could feel a little pain in your head
  208. >You need to sleep…
  209. >”But we did have the date, didn’t we? We talked and ate pizza, it wasn’t a good first date, but hey, next one I can take you to some other place”
  210. >So this /was/ a date!
  211. >Now you need a kiss from him and you win!
  212. >Wait, did he say something about a second date?
  213. >…You wouldn’t mind, Anon is a good guy
  214. “I gladly… accept another date… I kind of… like you… you are a…”
  215. >Anon put his hand on your mane, starting to pet you gently
  216. “Oh… what are you- oh! Oh! ~”
  217. >You could feel relief as a sensation suddenly came to you. Anon was scratching you behind your ears
  218. >The sensation was amazing; you couldn’t stop moving your front hooves
  219. “That feels… good… Please, don’t… stop”
  220. >You rest your head on his chest and lie on the couch as you slowly start to feel light, your eyes closing slowly and your body enjoying some rest
  221. >Anon stops scratching your ears and goes back to petting your mane
  222. “Anon…” you can’t start your sentence as you yawn from fatigue
  223. >”Hush, just rest Tumbla. You had enough wine, just rest for a bit”
  224. >Anon tenderly kisses you in your head as you start falling asleep
  225. “I… won…”
  226. >All you see before you fall asleep in Anon’s arms is his warm smile
  227. >”Jackpot”
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