Thread 36: Stories 46-56

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"Rarity"
'Spike'
[???]
~~~~

>Okay, guys? You need to calm down-

“DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, TWILIGHT! Oh, that... dreadful, awful little thing! I can't believe she manhandled him like that! He is such a nice sort, and for this he gets this... this brutality!”

'Course, can't have anything go any way but her own.'

“Do you think he's okay?”

>She's not going to kill him!

'I don't know, Twi...'

Awkwardly, he rubbed at the back of his neck.

'You'd think with how she talks about Arana, she might think some... 'contact' is enough reason to take him out.'

The white alicorn gasped, eyes going wide.

“Y-you don't think she'd...”

He didn't answer, just looked away with claws shaking.

'Well, all I know is the moment I get near her-'

They all smelled it before they saw the first spark of flames, the wisps of green trailing along the ground and gradually spiraling into a circular shape. From the plume of fire that erupted from the ground, a shadowy figure to form in the center.

[No no, please, by all means...]

Slowly, she walked through the fire, letting it wash over her and bathe her in green light as it cast her mane upward.

[...the moment has arrived, what do you plan to do?]

Teeth clashed together so hard she nearly chipped a tooth, grinding almost painfully. Red began to seep into the dragon's eyes as the intensity built.

The pony next to him was... less moved.

>Wow, alright, just... wow. Did you have to do that?

The Queen froze, confusedly looking around.

[Do what?]

>That whole... sweet Celestia you looked evil right there.

Her lip curled back, offended.

[I DID NOT!]

>You so did! With the fire and the... wow.

[It's how I teleport! Don't blame me because my biology makes my teleportation come out in flame form!]

>I'm just saying, the evil snarl, the... the fire, SO much fire, and that line of dialog?

[I was simply encouraging him to talk!]

>Really.

[YES!]

>Okay, fine, I- hey!

The smaller dragon and white pony brushed past her, defensively standing at the ready.

“What. Did. You. Do.”

[Not as if I had anything to answer to you, oh tiny one of scales, but rest assured the problem has been... dealt with.]

The pair's eyes, already narrowed with rage, went wide as she floated a tiny red orb out from behind her. Spike's sharp fangs were barred, and it took everything he had not to leap at her right there and go for her throat.

"O-oh no..."

'You... fucking... little-'

>WOW! Okay, WOW! What!?

[What now!?]

>What do you mean “What now!?” Don't you give me “What now” you know what is nowing!

[What are you even talking about!?]

>”The problem has been dealt with”!? Are you TRYING to sound like a supervillain!?

[What? No, I just meant that whole thing got dealt with. See?]

Unhelpfully, she pointed to the sphere, and waited.

>... well?

[...well what?]

>What the hell is that!?

[...Pheromones. A DOY, what the hell do you think that they could be? No, really, what could they possibly be besides pheromones? They're so obviously that. I mean, you'd have to be an idiot to think otherwise, and I know at least you are smart.]

>It looks like blood!

[No it doesn't! Blood has a different color!]

>No it doesn't!

[It does so! Blood would be at least three shades darker at it's most thin, even if taken from the liver or other organs!]

>...No way have you cataloged the color consistency of blood...

[Have... have you not? How can you tell if it's diseased, then? Do you guys really not teach that? 56 says he's learning biology.]

>I just... well, actually I have cataloged it, but for... okay, fine, pheromones. What?

[… they're pheromones.]

>...Froooom?

[Jugglejack. I was forced to... extract them from him. His disobedience has resulted in an unfortunate discovery, and he needed to be-]

>Okay, STOP!

Honestly confused looking, she did.

>...Juggglejack, guy you abducted-

[Actually as his Queen, I merely retrieved him for-]

>-GUY YOU TOOK IN FIRE... current state?

[What? He's fine, I didn't hurt him with the extraction. Might feel a little woozy, but no internal damage.]

>Arrested? Going to trial of some kind?

[Hm? Oh, no, I let him off with a warning.]

Every set of eyes went wide, stunned.

[I know, I can actually feel my mother's head shaking in disappointment, but he just seemed like an idiot, not that he was doing this as some sort of rebellion. He learned his lesson, I hope.]

>...Okay! Cool, good, so was that whole... fire abduction... thing... necessary?

[...he was full of a mysterious substance put there by a member of hives of changelings that POISON OTHERS FOR A LIVING. I wasn't exactly going to stand around while Appleass whined at me because she didn't like I have total authority in the matter. They are my subjects, my hive! I command them, not HER-]

>Rant uneeded. You know what, I'll accept it, it's fine. Just next time say something like... I don't know... “I'll explain later, he'll be fine” or something.

[… he might not have been.]

“WHAT!?”

'YOU BITCH!'

>Wow.

[I didn't know what was inside him! I STILL DON'T! I took every precaution to make sure the extraction wouldn't kill him, but I don't know most of Sciderlla's techniques obviously since she wasn't huge on sharing, some surprises may have happened, he could have exploded for all I knew! But I had to do this, for my hive! I had to keep them save from being POSSIBLY DISSOVLED. BECAUSE SHE CAN DO THAT.]

>...Okay we'll get to that in a second, you still don't what now?

[Oh! Yeah, by the way, these pheromones? No idea what the hell they do. They're not based on any I know about. We need to get this looked at before the spider monster-]

“STOP CALLING HER THAT!”

[-turns them all into zombies or something.]

'She wouldn't do that!'

[Lizardo? She hangs out with my guy for like, a day, and he comes back full of an alien substance. You can take your 'you're being so mean to her!' talk and you can shove it RIGHT UP YOUR-]

>CHRYSALIS!

[Sorry! Fine, fuck...]

>...You scared the hell out of us, I want you to know. You stomp off after that little episode with Arana, and next we see you you're strangling the guy who was just hanging around her?

[It was all perfectly necessary!]

>Sure, sounds like it now, but really! A brief summery, a hoof signal, give us a post it note or something here! Just...

[HE IS MY SUBJECT!]

>Right, but if Celestia did that to like, a guard, we'd freak out there too!

[Really? Why? It's her minion.]

>...

[...Fine, I'll play this the pony way. I'm sorry for scaring you guys, but look at it from how I was seeing it. A subject goes off and disobeys my direct order, and as a result is now plagued with something put there by someone who I have every reason to think is deadly. Time is of the essence. As soon as I grab him, the one who not only harbors this someone comes running up to me and making demands. I do not serve her, or obey her, and I have in my grasp someone who may be dying for all I know. I should have said something else, fine... but I'm not apologizing for doing it. I need to keep them safe, Twilight, every one of them counts.]

>...You could have just said sorry, and I would have been fine with it. But thank you for sharing your view of this, and I'm sorry for certain SOMEONE'S-

Spike and Rarity merely shared an eye roll.

>-jumping to conclusions. I know you didn't mean to make it look like this but...

[But what?]

>I'm a little hurt.

Almost imperceptibly, Chrysalis's eyes drooped a bit.

>I mean, what with you not knowing what was going on, you didn't even ask me to come? I could have been helpful with any 'complications', you know I could have. Why didn't you ask me?

Suddenly, the tree off to the side seemed much, much more interesting.

[Same reason I didn't ask Shiny. Because I didn't know what it could do... it's my guy who fucked up, don't see any reason to drag you into possibly getting injured. That would be hard as fuck to explain to Shiny.]

At last, Twilight felt like she could smile again, and magically took the orb from her.

>Well, we'll figure out together what it does so we'll know for next time. And for future reference? I got hit by an avalanche caused by a giant monster punch, and yet I made it out. If we're talking worry for vulnerability, I'm pretty safe. So next time, call me? Please? Promise not to publish anything that you say not to, even.

[…I'll think about it.]

The dragon and other pony raised suspicious eyes, but did not choose to comment any further. Instead, they merely walked ahead, slowly enough those two could catch up.

Side by side, the Queen and princess followed.

[So what kind of hoof signal could convey 'filled with possible deadly pheromones?']

>Too specific, let's make one for 'possibly filled with dangerous substance' in general.

[The hell would that look like?]

>Like this!

[...PFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAH!]

>Whaaaat? I think it will work! It's to imply there is something pumping in their blood, and you're pointing it at your face to imply it's possibly effecting the brain as well.

[AHAAHAHAHAHAHH!]

Gradually, Twilight stopped pumping her hoof up and down.

>What? Shiny liked my secret hoofshakes...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"???"
~~~

>...Huh. At last, I have found a flavor of popcorn I do not like... and somehow, it is not the ice cream flavored one... this world is messed up.

"Now, don't be like that darlin'! You've got to have at least one flavor you think is bad, otherwise how do you know it's supposed to be good?"

Annoyed, angry eyes turned to yet again, her nemesis.

...Well, one her nemesis's... nemesi? Neme... whatever.

The fucking pony with the cheese sandwich on his ass.

>That's ridiculous. I know it is good because it produces a more pleasant feeling than neutral. I do not need 'bad' in this context, just 'not good' and 'good'.

"Well, the good's gonna be better if you taste the bad, proper context!"

>That's also silly, because it means the good isn't improving, my taste is just being soured. The good does not change, in this scenario. Only I do.

"Well, gotta learn new things-"

>What the fuck do you want!?

Right on cue, a claw tried to grab her.

And met the same fate as the other claws. Which is to say, dead metal.

"...That, mostly, that right there."

>Yeah, those claws are really annoying. They should cut that shit out.

"Ah, you know, they'd stop if you'd clean up the language, family friendly zone and all that!"

>You know, I don't get that. Do you guys really put so much weight on language? Why I mean, watch this... FUCK YOU!

Another one popped out, and she made it not be a claw anymore... with punches.

>See that? That's fucking violent, I just broke the hell out of that thing. Picture it from a kids perspective, what do you think is going to think will leave a greater impact, the word fuck or watching someone break a fucking robot arm with their bare hooves. Especially when they're assholes.

Three different claws tried this time.

She only needed one hoof.

>I'm just saying, if I were a kid, I'd either think the one swearing her ass off was badass, or they were fucking terrifying and I could not stop them. Because you clearly couldn't, what would a guard or something do? Beat up the one who can break metal? Oh yeah, not like they're covered in it, and squishier. They're fucked.

"...It's just... we're trying to create an air of fun here."

>What's fun about broken metal all over the ground? That's dangerous.

"...You're uh... not going to stop, are you."

>I have no intention of hitting a squishy thing, but I'm not letting a fucking robot grab me. Bring out your best if you think you can get rid of me, or enjoy my bits and cut this fucking shit out.

It took a long, long time of deliberation...

And then he produced a remote, and a switch went off.

"So long as you aren't hurting ponies..."

>Good.

Leaving her to her popcorn, he shuffled off.

He definitely needed to ask Pinkie about how to deal with something like that without a brawl... definitely... on the top of the agenda, even! She'll have a ton of ideas, he was sure!

So caught up in his own whirlwind party mind, he didn't even notice a pair of much more flat colored ponies watching him... and shaking their head in disappointment.

[Told you so.]

{Regrettable.}
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

>High Roller
"32"

"..."

>32?

"..."

>Thirty-twooooo~?

"..."

>...do ya wanna sing a duet~?
>I know you're feeling down
>I've seen this movie quite a lot
>It's in the plot
>We should clown aroooound~
>You're my favorite drinking buddy
>But you don't look so hot
>I'm dying to ask you whyyyyy~
>Do ya wanna sing a duuuueeeeet-

BONK!

>OW!

"WE'VE ALREADY HAD SOMEONE SING THAT SONG YOU HACK!"

>...ouch my eyyyyyyeeee...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Rekulk
"Vekir"
'Spike'
-Rarity-
~Chrysalis~

>AHA! There you are, Spike of Scales!

'Huh? Oh hey, Rekulk, nice to see you again.'

"We have searched most everywhere for you, Spike...of..."

CLUNK!

'...the heck was that noise?'

>I...think her jaw did a drop, but helmet stopped it.

"...owwwwwww..."

>Ohooo, I see the reasons for her amazement. She has been beaten about the head with the small night sky lights!

-Starstruck, darling.-

>What with the Spike of Scales, the Diamond Princess, the Twience Princess, and the-

"Muh jahw hurss..."

-Oh poor dear, come now, you two walk with us.-

The Morlocks fall into step with the Princess and Dragon.

-Rekulk I'm glad to see you've gotten yourself some less...imposing protection, you look far more presentable now.-

>The work of the Twience Princess! My sister, Brother-By-Mate, and I have been given a great and mighty gift!

-Oh so your little friend is your sister?-

"I ahm Vehkyir!"

-Well aren't you just charming, massage your jaw a bit, darling, you should feel better in no time at all.-

Whub...whuuub...

-...under the armor, darling.-

"This was known..."

'You said you were looking for me?'

>Aha, yes, Spike of Scales! We have need of your knowledge!

'Yeah?'

>We seek an item of great importance! One that has lead us on a mighty quest!

'And that is?'

>A gift for the Blood of Blue!

'-...-'

>...

"...is quiet now."

>Does this bring confusion?

'A bit, I mean, it's nice, but can you give us a bit of context?'

>It is an apology, Spike of Scales, for being so terrible to someone of such importance to my people.

-You've lost me.-

'How is Blueblood related to you guys at all?'

>He made the Head of Metal.

'Oh...ohhhhh...huh.'

-That may be the single most roundabout way that anyone has ever done a good deed, let alone that lout.-

>Our people learned so much from the Head of Metal, how to farm and build! How to speak goodly! How to make the suits! HOW TO TRADE! Its creator could be second only to Zhetri Tuuhl in our hearts! I am ashamed to have spurned him so!

'...books.'

"Buksh?"

'He likes reading books, just check the giftshop on your way out, you should find something nice.'

>Ahaaaa, thank you muchly Spike of Scales, this will help us...all...uhm...Sister? Wherefore do you go?

-I think she fell back towards Twilight and...her...-

>Aha, well she shall be fine, we are favored by the Twience Princess and the Magnificent Queen.

'What, for real?'

>Yes, the Twience Princess is our friend!

-No, darling, the other one.-

>Why yes, we hold much respect for her, she is-

"THE MOTHER OF ZHETRI TUUHL!"

~STOP CALLING ME THAT!~

'Pffffff...'

-Oh...oh dear...Rekulk, grab your sister. Rekulk. Grab her. Now!-

>I SHALL DO THIS THING!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon (just exploring an idea and because I'm on a certain kick at the moment)
>42
"Twilight"
'Spike'
~~~
"42, I finished those final modifications you requested for the love harness."

>Thanks, Princess.

'I'm curious, what changes did you make?'

>Something that will let 42 use her stored up love without it needing to be a super mode.

42 smiles and ignites a blade of green energy

>Check it out. I call it the L-Saber.

'Niiice!'

>That's not all, check out what i can do it with!

42 charges forward in a dashing slash

>SHIPPUUGA!

42 then goes into a rising cut, igniting the blade in hot flames

>RYUENJIN!

42 then gave a hard flap of her wings and then spun with her blade in a lethal spiral

>KUUENZAN!

Midway into the second spin, the blade became a thick icicle and she came down with a powerful, freezing thrust

>HYOURETSUZAN!

As the blade shattered than reignited into a "normal" energy blade, Spike and Twilight clap

'That was pretty damn impressive.'

"Way better form than PJ."

>I'll give her credit, she's good, but she really treats her weapons with little respect, but I guess those aren't her strong point compared to the maneuvering gear.

From a distance, none saw nor heard an observing PJ sniffle and mutter about her trying her best

If you didn't get it, basically 42 is using various moves Zero can learn in Megaman X 4. I don't know why I loved the mental image but it was fun to imagine 42 shouting in Japanese while doing fancy sword work. really just needed to get this out of my system in the long run.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"Security Unicorn"
------
" 'Just throw her off with a parachute charm attached and ignore the shattered remnants of of the solid steel security claws that were supposed to do that, it'll be simple for a unicorn like you!' Fucking cheese bastard, he could at least be here to take the blame for it."

"Alright, she's just standing there, so all i have to do is grab her an- she just made my magic fizzle by punching it, i didnt think that was possible but here we are."

"Well, i'm far enough away that she shouldnt notice me, so i guess i'll keep trying."

......

>The hell is this tingling, some kind of glowing insect?
>YOU WANT THE POPCORN? I SEE YOU CREEPING TOWARDS THAT BAG! FUCK OFF IT'S MINE.

The moderately sized berth around the mare that destroyed several hundred bits worth of park equipment got slightly wider, as said mare began to punch herself at random while raving about how "they'll" never take "it".
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon preview
I'm on a mobile and can't see the post count, but this should be the 500th post I think.
~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CoWplXbeUw

Folks are finally starting to reunite. What could Arana's red pheromone be? Diamond Tiara starts making fun of bad cosplayers despite Silver Spoon's reluctance. Fluttershy finds a depressed Flutterguy clone. Rarity runs into the rest of the Ponytones and starts off the karaoke contest. Potatojack and Blueblood gets some action by fighting off the Chitania doll army. Is the day ever going to a close? Find out next time in thread 37: The Longest Day...and of course, non-existent fan service!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NCOMAKE!
>Chrysalis
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Is it just me, or have most of my stories had me PISSED THE FUCK OFF recently?

"It's not just you."

>Huh... weird, seeing as how I'm normally all "DUN GIVE A FUCK" regardless.

"I have to give you credit, though, you've been dodging the villain label so hard your back is going to break at this rate."

>Right?

"....Your 'secret agent' is adorable."

>SHUT THE FUCK UP!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NCOMAKE
>Pinkie
"Actarius"
~~~~

>FUUUUUUUCKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

"..."

>WHY THE FUCK DOES SOME NOBODY GET AN ACTION SCENE BEFORE ME!?

"Does... does that really count? I feel like that was more 'a toddler getting pushed around' than an action scene...."

>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

"...Got it...."

>UUUUUUUUU
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"29"
~~~

>Holy chitiny fuck that's a lot of talking.

"Right? Mine ears race with-"

>I thought you didn't do the cultured speak outside of the actual stories?

"Like with all things in life, be it from the stone upon ground or air in the sky, tis inconsistent."

>Well, stop it.

"Thou art just jealous of mine 'sexy speak'!"

>...Oh, no, it clearly just drives my poor heart a flutter. You see, with all my free time, I eventually started concocting scenarios in my head, and the thought of you talking like that while I'm face do-

"STOP STOP STOP OKAY YOU WIN YOU WIIIIIIIN!"

>HAH! Priceless.

"...You're weird."

>I just went through what amounts to an acid trip in a corporeal brain, I think you are underselling it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NCOMAKE
>Dolltainia
"PJ"
~~~~

>CRUSH SMASH DESTROY!

"They know, it was a simple mistake."

>SMASH! SMASH! CRUUUUUSH!

"You're not a plushy doll, you are an action figure, they know now, stop ranting."

>Let's all fly to the castle....AND SMASH IT!

"Now that kind of language is just uncalled for."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________