Uncouth - Part 2

>Day 716 in Equestria.
>Morning.
>Way too morning.
>The sun peeks over the horizon and shines directly into your eyes through the window.
>aaaa Celestia what did I do to you?
>It takes a few minutes but you manage to push yourself out of bed.
>Yesterday’s work taking its toll, every joint in your upperbody screams in protest as they move.
>But, you have no time to whine to nobody about it.
>You proceed to do the daily routine, grooming yourself so you may look your best.
>Then you remember WHY you woke up so early.
>Props to your internal clock. You didn’t set an alarm.
>No time to celebrate a job well-done. You need to be at Rarity’s at 8.
>… 8ish.
>Eh, she can wait until 9. You’re going to get some extra sleep.
>You slump down on the couch, sleep quickly retakes you.
--
>Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!
>FUCK
>It’s almost noon oh my god how did you sleep in that much?!
>Rarity is going to tear your asshole in two!
>Elegantly, of course.
>Fuck. You need an excuse.
>You also need to keep running.
>Running and thinking are too hard to do together.
>You slow down and contempFFFT YOU HAVE NO TIME TO SLOW DOWN!
>But, you need to think.
>AND YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ASS MOVING!
>A voice calls from above.
>”Dude, Anon. What’s the rush?”
>Your eyes dart up to see Rainbow Dash’s head peak over a cloud, casually munching on a flower.
>Lazy bitch.

>You think you say “Rarity’s” but you actually say
“Ruhrass…”
>You then continue running.
>You hear a loud thump next to follow by the clopping of hooves.
>”What’re you late or something?”
>YES IM FUCKING LATE
>Wait, are we mad?
>No we’re running.
>But, are-
>You should be sacrificing this thinking power for extra running speed.
>Good id-
>SHUT UP
>”Helloooooo? Anyp0ny there?”
>YOU TOO
>Rainbow Dash keeps trying to get your attention the rest of the way.
>She is unsuccessful.
>You skid to a stop in front of the boutique, body tired and chest heaving.
>This is a good sign that you need to start working out.
>So, do we have any good excuses for out tardiness, yet?
>Nope.
>Okay how about-
>The front door begins to open.
>ohshitohshitohshit think fast.
>…Rainbow Dash!
>The behind the door is a very perturbed Rarity.
>She looks like she’s about to explode once she realizes it’s you at her door.
>Then she looked very confused once she saw what you were doing to Rainbow Dash.
>”Anonymous…” Rarity said flatly, “What are you doing?”
“Uhhh… I’m… preening Rainbow Dash… ‘s wings…”
>You say as you dig your fingers through Dash’s feathers.
>Dash looks like she’s between heaven and hell at the moment.
>On one hand, she’s experiencing some very… intimate pleasure.
>On the other, this is happening in public. Right in front of Rarity. You would die of embarrassment if you were in her place.
“That’s what I was doing all morning. Yeah, this.”
>You hold Rainbow out in front of you like a finished work of art.
“Done!”
>The look on Rarity’s face is a mix of annoyance and seething rage.
>”Inside. Both of you.”
>Fuck.
>You bring Rainbow a little closer to your chest and carry her still ridged body inside.
>You only move a couple steps in before two large white buckets are levitated in front of your face.
“Um…”
>”It’s paint. You chipped quite a bit off when you were removing your… smut off my walls.”
>You set a stone-like Rainbow Dash on the ground and grasp the two buckets in your hands.
>Rarity releases her magic and your arms nearly break under the sudden change in weight.
“Hnng. Rarity, what the fuck? You don’t ne-“
>Paf!
“Hey!”
>That fucking newspaper. Does she keep it in her marshmallow asshole at all times, or somethin’?
>You have mixed feelings about the image that put in your head.
>”Gentlecolts do not use that kind of language around a lady, Anonymous.”
>You wince. Holding in a sigh, a tantrum, and a flurry of curse words all at the same time was very difficult.
“My apologies, Miss Rarity. I only wish to inquire as to why you need so much house paint if we only require so little.”
>That physically hurt to say.
>If Rainbow Dash wasn’t comatose from your wicked human hands being all over her sensitive, throbbing wings, she’d be laughing at your ass right now.
>”I… appreciate the effort, Anonymous. But, if you continue to make that facial expression while you talk, you might as well swear.”
>Fuck yeah, here it comes.
>Rarity raises the newspaper aggressively.
>Okay maybe later.
>”To answer your question, I WAS only going to have you patch up the scraped areas. Then when you didn’t show up when you were supposed to, it gave me time to think. And, I thought the entire Boutique could use a new coat of paint, it’d look smashing, wouldn’t it?”
>She gives you a sweet smile.
>Cunning bitch.
>”You may want to get started, painting so much take time, Anonymous.”
>Rarity finally turns her attention to Rainbow Dash.
>”Rainbow Dash, could you please follow me into the kitchen?”
>Rainbow finally snaps out of her trance.
>”Uh… Yeah. Can I talk to Anon real quick?”
>Rarity sighs. You should flick her nose, teach her a thing or two.
>You decide against it.
>”If you must. Anon, you can find some brushes in the utility closet. Please use the old one, it’s still in good condition and there’s no reason to dirty up a new one.”
>Rarity retreats into her kitchen.
>Rainbow Dash nervously traces circles in the carpet with her front hoof as she sits on her haunches.
>”Soooo… That thing you did back there…”
“… Sorry. I panicked.”
>”Y-yeah. Um. I’m totally willing to drop it if you drop the whole prank thing. That’s fair, right?”
>She’s about to get her punishment. She’ll be right next to you while you paint the boutique. So, why not?
“Yeah, sounds fair. Meet you outside in a bit?”
>”Yeah. And, maybe we could hang out tonight? Y-your place?”
>Her face turned crimson at the question. Sheesh, I just fondled your wings a little bit, Rainbow.
“Fine, hopefully neither of us will be as tired as I was yesterday.”
>”Yeah… Anyway, I gotta… you know.”
“Yeah, catch you in a bit.”
>She gets off her lazy butt and trots towards the kitchen.
>You check her wing with your foot as it comes into range.
>Bam, wings fully erect.
>She turns her head to glare at you, face even more red than before.
>Hah. You probably shouldn’t have done that but, Dash is too cool to hold a grudge for something that turns her on.
>You also shouldn’t make a habit of turning Dash on.
>Whatever. Before going outside, you retrieve a paint brush and a smaller bucket from the closet.
>Once outside, you size the wall up. The whole thing is fucking circular how are you supposed to figure out the square footage? Square hoofage?
>God, who knows.
>Rarity should know about how much is needed, anyway.
>You crack open both buckets, one color is a bit of a milky cyan and the other is a dull blue.
>Normally you have a body and a trim but this boutique…
>Damn, it’s weird.
>You decide not to waste too much time on it and start painting. The bottom half body is the dull blue, so you start with that.
>Cutting windows and doors, fluid up and down movements, wishing you had at least a roller.
>Yeah, this is good honest work.
>Your arms still hurt from what you did yesterday but you quickly tune it out.
>After a good hour of painting, Rainbow Dash exited the Boutique.
>She looked shaken up but relieved to be out of there.
>You wave to catch her attention, a small smile grows on her face once she sees you.
>Then her wings go ridged again. Oh boy.
>She looks annoyed by this new development.
>She trots over to you.
“Sup? You get chewed out pretty hard in there?”
>”Yeah, dude. Rarity is cool sometimes but she’s really being super lame about this. Told me I gotta do something for her.”
“What?”
>”Can’t say, she told me it was a secret. But, it’s gonna suuuck.
“Sounds fair.”
>”Yeeeah, I know. But there are tons of better stuff to do!”
“Tell me about it. We owe it to her, though. And Pinkie P-“
>”NO!”
“… Okay we can avoid dealing with that one for a while.”
>”AT ALL! OKAY?!”
“… Agreed.”
>”Cool…”
>Both of you sit in silence for a moment before you get back to painting.
>”Soooo, Guess I’ll see you tonight?”
“Yeah. Later, Dash.”
>And there she goes. Trotting away because her wings get rock hard from the sight of you and your awesome hands.
>And it’s time to stop moping and get these stupid awesome hands of yours to work.

>Sunset, again.
>Hungry, again.
>Tired, again.
>And you’re not even close to being done.
>Halfway, maybe.
>You got two coats for the bottom half body, the biggest part.
>You’re proud of your work. Your cuts were straight, there were no globs of paint, and you did it without Rainbow’s help. She’s probably mess it all up with her hooves, anyway.
>Satisfied with today’s progress, you call it a day.
>Carrying all the supplies which were all much lighter than they were earlier today, you open the door to the boutique. The bell rings as you enter.
>You triple-check to make sure you aren’t dripping anything before entering.
>”I’m coming~!”
>Rarity comes in through the workshop, coat and mane look a little tattered.
>”Ah, Anonymous! Did you finish painting already?”
“Nah, there’s no way I can do that today. Too much for one man. But, I got most of the bottom half finished.”
>”And you’re just giving up right now?”
>That tone was a little too chilly for your liking.
“It’s not a great idea to paint in the dark. Mistakes are much harder to see and it takes longer for the paint to dry and adhere to the wall, which may cause it to drip.”
>Rarity is surprised at how you said something not stupidly.
>”I suppose you’re right. You are dismissed for the evening…”
>She pauses.
>”Unless you’d like to stay for dinner?”
>What is it with Rarity and eating dinner with you?
>Fuck that, you won’t sit through the prattle of this tyrannical mare.
“I’ll pass, I’m spending the evening with Rainbow.”
>”Hmph! Then go have your evening with that brute!”
>What is up with Dinner Pony?
>She probably has a huge crush on you.
>Actually you’re 100% positive she does.
>You are the sexiest human in Equestria, after all.
>”Anonymous.”
>Yup, she’s probably about to propose.
>”You do not want to be late, tomorrow.” She says very threateningly.
>Yup, she wants your dick.
>Okay, enough fun. You stow your tools and paint in the closet and head home.
>You’re surprised that how tired you are.
>Well, aren’t.
>You mean… You ARE tried but not as tired as yesterday.
>Forget thinking. Thinking sucks. You just want to be home.
>Oh look it’s your home.
>You step into your house and collapse on the couch immediately.
>Sleep incoming.
>Wait, what about hanging out with Rainbow Dash?
>Too bad.
--
>”Come on…”
>Nnnng, what was that?
>You feel something soft on your hand. Something is rubbing against it.
>”Oh no, please don’t wake up.” Someone whispers.
>Well now you HAVE to wake up.
“Wha-“
>Something latches onto your face before you can see or say anything.
>Well shit, this certainly wakes you up.
>You… don’t know what to do.
>Umm…
>…
>Uh.
>”… I-I gotcha… b-bro. Heh.”
“mfphmff mphf?”
>Yup, Rainbow Dash. Although her voice had an unfamiliar croakiness to it.
>”You ought to be ready next time… for wrestling.”
>You yank her off your face.
>She’s even redder than she was earlier today. Wings? Fully extended again.
“So why don’t we talk about what’s really going on here?”
>”Uhhh… How about after some grub, okay?”
>You want to say no but your stomach likes the idea.
“Fine. Just don’t try to worm your way out of explaining this weird shit.”
>”Yeah… yeah, okay.”
>You and Rainbow Dash proceed into the kitchen, just like last night. Neither of you want to beat around the bush, both of you prepare quick, easy dishes.
>You prepare yourself a couple PB&J sandwiches while Rainbow helps herself to ALL your celery sticks and beer.
>Sounds like a terrible combination.
>She sits uncomfortably close to you.
>Rainbow Dash wastes no time jumping into alcohol. She polishes off 3 bottles before taking a bite of food.
>”Want one?” She pushes a bottle in front of you. She quietly says under her breath, “You’re going to need it.”
“Of my own beer? Yeah, sure!”
>You sarcasm is damn near tangible but Rainbow ignores it.
>Two beers and two sandwiches later, you feel satisfied.
>Rainbow Dash looks smashed. She never made a good drinking buddy, couldn’t hold her liquor for shit.
“Ready to talk?”
>You say with a slight chuckle. Drunken Rainbow Dash is always a hoot.
>”I hope YOU’RE ready for whas about to come. Ha, that means other things.”
>Yeah, this’ll be fun.
>”Look, you’re my bro. Nothin… Nothin’s gonna change that.”
“Uh huh.”
>”And this stupid prank thing. We’re, like, over that, righ’?”
“I guess.”
>”Okay. And whatever happens we’ll still be cool.”
“Get on with it.”
>”Okay… Jus’…”
>She nudges you with an erect wing.
“Just what?”
>”You know. Do… stuff. Like today.”
“Doesn’t that-“
>Oh.
>OH!
“I’m… Rainbow, I’m flattered but…”
>”Dude, I NEED those hands!”
>You get out of your seat.
“Dash, calm down. You’re showing a bit too much Lyra right now.”
>She gasps.
>”I know, I know! It’s jus’… complicated.”
>You put a hand on her shoulder, making sure to avoid contact with her wing.
“Look, somethin’ is eating you up. You want to talk about it tomorrow when you’ve had time to think?”
>”No… Yeah, I guess. I dunno.”
“Thought so. Why don’t we call it a night? If you think you’re too drunk to make it home, you can crash at my place.”
>”That’s not a good-… Actually, yeah. Yeah, I’ll stay here for the night. But, it’s still early.”
“Not for me, I need to get up early tomorrow.”
>”Ugh, when is this stupid Rarity thing going to be over?”
“Hey, don’t forget whose fault this is. So drop it and get comfortable on the couch.”
>Rainbow Dash groans.
>You walk out of the kitchen.
>”Anon, wait.”
>Rainbow stumbles after you.
>”Whatever happens in the next month… I’m sorry.”
>Oh no.
>Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
>Exactly one month from two days ago…
>Is when the estrus cycle reaches its peak.
>And it looks like you may have set Rainbow off a little early.
>This could be monumentally bad.
>You make sure to lock all of your doors and windows tonight.
>You swear you hear hoofsteps just outside your door a few times.
>And you hear her try to open your door at one point in the night.
>Sleep isn’t easy, that night.