[Kenji/Hisao] Holiday Blues

Holiday Blues


I bring my fist up and pound on the door. Santa hat on, glasses as clean as they've ever been and a chill in the air that justifies my love for scarves brings a smile to my face.

However, there's no answer or sound made from behind the door.

Hisao, come the fuck on dude. It's tradition; I come over the night before Christmas, normally drunk, stumbling through the door rather than the chimney, and we just kick back, drink, play video games and all of that fun shit. Hell, I'm even sitting here with a present for you this year that actually isn't fucking alcohol, and you're not answering your god damn door.

I knock even harder, starting to feel extremely impatient.

This is unusual. Hisao has always been cheery and excited around this time of year, and for the past four or so years that we've kept this tradition going, he's always been the one to really push for the tradition to stay alive.

I called him earlier and left a message on his phone with no call back, and I'll be honest in saying it's got me worried.

The dude who was seen as a freak back in high school and only got worried over women attempting to scheme against him and shit is the one who's actually getting worried about a friend.

Shit, I've been married for two years and kept the tradition going. Even Miki, who just loves to have me all for herself, understands the true feelings behind a legitimate bromance.

More importantly though, she understands why I started this tradition in the first place. I will never let that incident that happened the year before the first time we started doing this define Hisao as a person.

After another moment of silence, there's finally some audible shuffling of feet from behind the door.

“Kenji, the door has been unlocked the entire time dude...”

Oh.

Well, shit.

I twist the knob and the door swings open, keeping a big grin on my face in an attempt to mask a very troubling sight.

Hisao is sitting on a chair about two feet off to the side with an empty whiskey glass in hand, a half empty bottle and a pistol sitting on his end table. Looking at him, though, is the worst of all. His skin looks pale and his hair is a mess with nearly bloodshot eyes. It looks like he hasn't slept in a month.

“Whoa, shit dude!” I yell out in surprise. “What's up with the gun?”

He smiles and slowly turns his head to look at the table, bringing his hand up and snatching the gun.

“Oh, this thing?” He takes the gun and places it to his temple, pulling the trigger before I can even begin to process what's happening.

Click.

He belts out a laugh in half-drunken stupor, tossing the weapon across the room into a pile of blankets sitting off in a corner.

“I don't fucking know. I just wish I actually had the balls to go buy some ammo for the damn thing.”

I let out a cautious laugh, feeling the sheer amount of negativity and depression that stick to each of his words.

This hasn't happened before. This is what this tradition was supposed to fucking stop from happening. I finally come out of thoughts, shaking my head and fumbling with my hands a bit out of nervousness.

“What's going on, bro? That shit's not cool at all.”

He casts his eyes downward to his glass, surveying it before realizing that it's empty of its contents. His drunken smile turns into a borderline childish pout, practically slamming the glass onto the table beside him.

He brings his hand to his forehead, rubbing his eyes as he speaks.

“You know what's going on.”

I move into the living space and flop down onto the couch beside his recliner, kicking my shoes off and placing my gift into the open space beside me.

I know what the problem is. But I'm going to do what Miki made me do when we first got together, and that's admit what the problem is.

“I have no fuckin' clue, dude. All I know is that you look like shit.” My voice is a bit harsh as usual as I speak out, hoping that it doesn't make him get even more upset.

He looks right at me, his face deprived of any trace of happiness and completely full of depression.

“It's been five years, Kenji,” He pauses for a moment, standing up and walking over to the window a few feet away, staring out into the street.  “Five years since I found my ex-wife with another guy fucking her mercilessly in my bed. I worked so hard to please that woman and that's what she gave me, man.”

I freeze up as my fears are confirmed. Five years ago, Hisao got completely fucked over by Lilly. I remember him telling me once how she pleaded and begged after the guy had ran out of the house to forgive her.

He didn't. He made her pack up her shit and leave. She even tried to reason with him, saying how he wasn't home enough and was always caught up in the lab rather than spending time with her. She craved attention and he had a dream, and unfortunately, one was not going to work with the other in the picture.

So, what did Hisao do the day after she packed up and left for good? He tried to overdose on his medication. When I caught wind of him being in the hospital from one of our friends and a regular at Miki's bar, that's when I realized that shit was never going to be the same for him again.

I've tried my best to make sure he never tried it again. That's when this whole Christmas tradition started up between the two of us, and it's been a flawless plan up until this point.

I breathe out, clearing my head as I shake it from side to side.

“Come on, man. You told me a couple of years ago that you were over her. What's brought all of this shit up now?”

He flops sighs and steps back to his chair, flopping down carelessly into the seat.

“I lied. I just tried to tuck the problems I've had from it into the back of my head to forget about them. I lied to your face about it just like she tried to lie to mine, and it fucking sucks that makes me feel like shit that it's ended up this way.”

I pick up the gift beside me and place it on the floor and kick it across to him, keeping my eyes on him as he eyes it up.

“What's this?”

I chuckle a bit as I try to keep back a full blown fit of laughter, my mind trailing from the subject at hand for a moment.

“Miki and myself went out and picked out a pretty rad looking sweater vest for you, if you really want to know before opening it. You don't have to open it now though, you know I'm not really into materialistic shit that isn't booze this time of year.”

His shows a little grin as he picks up the box and leans it up against the table beside him.

Hoping to have eased his mind a bit, I jump back to the more important topic.

“Look man, I know you don't like this time of year. Shit, we're actually the opposite of each other this time of year; I got lucky with Miki and you got fucked over by Lilly,” I start off slowly, trying to materialize my words as I go along. “But you've got to be thankful for what you've got and what kind of opportunities you've been presented. Hell, you've got a fucking awesome job and don't have to worry about making anyone but your friends happy. If there's anything you should have taken from me up to this point from the day we met, it's that women fucking blow.”

He laughs a bit at the last part, nodding his head a bit in appreciation for the blunt statement.

“I love you, man,” he perks up, looking up at me with a slightly rejuvenated demeanor. “But how can you say that at this point? You're still with the girl of your dreams while mine basically gave me the finger and disappeared...”

I lean back, folding my hands behind my head with a smirk on my face.

“I get that, man. But, have you ever considered that maybe she was just your high school sweetheart and not the girl of your dreams? I've questioned myself with that a shit ton, and yet I remember that we never even got close in high school. It just so happens that we hooked up after graduation, which is fucking crazy if you ask me.”

He looks like he's about to argue with me, but stops himself short of a rant. After a moment of thoughtful silence, he finally starts to talk.

“I haven't thought about it like that before. You think that's my problem? That I invested too much time and effort into something that wasn't necessarily meant to be?”

I nod my head and he tilts his head to rest against his hand, obviously stuck in a strange train of thought.

“I just hate her for what she did to me, man. I always used to think I deserved it for picking to follow a dream over my heart, but it just leaves me empty when I think of all of the success I've had after she fucked me over.”

“And you're absolutely fucking crazy if you think you would have had the success with her in the picture. Hisao, my brother, you've got it right so far. You've just got to let go and realize what you've got with you know and what you've got in your future. There's always going to be some beautiful girl looking for you, but you've got to think about whether or not you want to put the effort into finding her as well,” I pause for a moment to catch my breath, bringing a cheeky smile to my face.

“Also remember that you've got this sexy hunk of man right here and my average looking wife as well. I'm all you need in your life, baby!”

I stand up to emphasize the last part, spreading my arms out wide to put on a show for him. He laughs as hard as I've heard in years, jumping up from his seat and wrapping me in a bear hug. After a moment, he shoves me back and runs off to the kitchen, returning with a second whiskey glass. He fills up the two glasses, picking one up and handing it to me.

He extends his glass out in front of him with a grin on his face, seemingly ready to give a toast.

“To being fucked over and bouncing back?”

I grin, smacking my glass against his.

“Hell yeah, man! To being fucked over and bouncing back!” We both take a big gulp from our glasses, laughing loudly as we both let out a refreshing “ah.”

He flips on his television flops down onto the couch, snatching up a console controller and turning on a first-person shooter, his eyes focused on the long night ahead.

“Let's kill some bitches.”