A Final Farewell

Dearest,

I fear that this letter will find you, much soggier than I intended...I fear that this letter won't find you at all. But I must try to get this to you before..before it's too late.

It should have been so simple. Go to Ireland, get my father's money from the will, return to you and begin our new life in Boston together, practically as wife and wife. But nothing is ever so easy, is it.

I don't know if it's the will of the fates, or simply bad luck, or if it might be the wrathful hand of God that's bringing me to my end, damning me for things that man has deemed sin. Carpathia is supposed to come and save us. The lifeboats are all gone now. But frankly, I don't care.

I know only one thing: I love you, darling. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, in this life or any other. I loved you as we made our way through town together, slipping our intertwined hands into one or the other's pocket to try to hide our affections. I loved you just as much as we lay in bed together, stealing silent, enamored kisses as our hands stole away to ever more private places, fingers dipping and curling into each other as we tried to silence the rising pleasure and warmth between us. But the parts where I loved you most is when I laid with you in my arms just after, our breathing and heartbeats matching as we dreamt of a future where we could be together openly and without fear. I could have held you in my arms forever.

*beginning to get choked up* I guess I never will now. *deep breaths*

Darling, I won't tell you not to find someone new, or to wait for me for the rest of your life. All I want is for you to be happy, and should that happiness come from someone else one day, I shan't stand in the way of it by making you promise your eternal devotion.

All I ask is that you think of me once in a while, and that you think of me with some semblance of affection for all the time we spent together. I want you only to remember me with happiness, and to think of us as we were, not me as I am now.

The band above is playing 'Nearer My God to Thee'. It appears that they're going down with the ship too.

*rueful chuckle* I remember something now. The night before I left on this forsaken voyage, singing with you on the windowsill while the moon and stars glittered around us. You always had such a beautiful voice, my love. You sounded prettiest singing 'My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean', and that was the song I loved best.

Sing it with me one last time, my sweetheart, before my hand-and the rest-stop forever.

*starting to get choked up again* My bonny lies over the ocean, my bonny lies over the sea..*trying to hold back tears* My bonny lies over the ocean, oh bring back my bonny to me..

*starting to sob* Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my bonny to me, to me, bring back, bring back, oh bring back my bonny t-*stop recording suddenly*