Zhimonster - Today at 1:46 PM
I mean I've been around all this time, where it kinda felt like you werent really 'present?'  I don't play one character. I always have multiple characters going. I only more heavily involved in other things because I felt pretty ditched. It felt like you always had something else going on. I mean, months of almost radio silence. I dont want to have to retcon a bunch of shit that was just my final last resort.

I don't mind being ENCOURAGED to rp more. What was upsetting me, (and we talked about this) Was when any time I didnt respond RIGHT away you'd make passive aggressive comments about how WOW I SURE WISH I HAD A POST TO RESPOND TO. It just felt -really- hypocritical that you wanted me constantly there when YOU wanted to rp but then you seemed to have NO issue at all with dropping off the face of the planet. THAT is what I think upset me the most and made me feel ditched and betrayed. You were wrapped up in your pokemon thing, then something else. The story with Lanthe and everything, your character is pretty central point. It CANT move without you being present and involved. I did just flat out give up for a while. I -almost- just gave up on RP in general.
I am willing to figure out how to work out this storyline, either just try to take up where we left off, or assume maybe they fled somewhere quiet for Ollie's dude to heal and recover, and for them to regroup and build up their forces and make plans? I think that would make more sense. And if it's on discord we dont' have to rely as heavily on having people around at the exact same time.

I wont lie, I still have a lot of bad feelings about this. The old me would probably just stubbornly refuse to cooperate. But I think we could work on that and ease back into having a story together. Don't ever think that just because I have another RP going on that I'm just ONLY going to do that all the time. That's like saying I'm gonna automatically stop watching Doctor Who and no longer like the show because the new season of Supernatural has started.
WildViolets - Today at 1:58 PM
If I didn't, or don't always seem "present", it's because I am not. I have a son who demands quite a bit of my effort. As much as I want to sit on the PC all day and do fuckall else (because that sounds amazing), I can't. The thing is, I never felt like I had to explain that to you, or the group, who have always had the mantra that real life is more important than RP. You guys all knew I had my sisters and son after school. What you are and were spared was every stressful detail of every single thing I was balancing between my presence in squad, and my real life. My son was having bullying issues at school, my youngest sister was about to fail out of 4th grade because she needed extra help on things and has a learning issue. My dad was working later and later because he was trying to make ends meet to pay all that tuition, so I had the girls sometimes until 9 pm. That's three children, begging for food, homework help, project help, shopping, cooking, you name it. Outside the moral obligations of "I need to do these things." there was also the face time with my actual family, and dealing with any extra things we needed. My husband was on the edge of having a psychological breakdown, my eight year old son was crying himself to sleep. This is the shit you don't see, and that shouldn't be anyone's problem but mine- which is exactly why you don't see.

The stuff you do see? The Pokémon, the whatever? Those are barely a blip on the radar. The time I spent on those things was minimal, and in fact was a mere fraction of the time I was spending with or on you guys. But- they happened to not be heavy or depressing things, so you knew about them.

You see, I make a point of not burdening my friends with the bullshit of life, because I know they've got enough of that to go around.
WildViolets - Today at 2:00 PM
As for the "I wish I had a post, lol" thing, I did that maybe twice, and when you said something, I fucking stopped. I don't see what that has to do with anything. In fact, I feel that your being upset about other things, is leading you to throw anything that I have done- anything that seems like a slight to you, back in my face. The fact that you don't have much to be pissed at me about, aside from that and my being absent... says a lot about the sort of person I am Zhi. Think about the laundry list of issues you have with people, and then look at this situation. Tell me if you think it's exactly fair to bring up something like that, like it was something I did over and over again, even after you asked me not to. I did no such thing. In fact, I've made a point of respecting you when you point out discomfort, or issues.

I understand why you are upset about my absences, but I cannot for the life of me see why you feel the need to lay on guilt and blame for something long resolved.