Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- Skywarp crowed. Hoping to his feet in near boyish glee.
- The second sentence is a fragment and should be combined with the first sentence. You're also missing a hyphen and misspelled a word. Change this to "Skywarp crowed, hopping to his feet in near-boyish glee."
- Thundercracker asked with a disbelieving half laugh.
- Another missing hyphen, change it to "half-laugh".
- in all the millions of years
- Extra space in between "millions" and "of".
- “I'll lead the group,” Starscream interjected firmly, “and I say this because I have tricks up my sleeve – which I will reveal in due time,” he was not sure what tricks he would have, just that he would come up with something.
- This is a run-on sentence. I suggest taking the last part "he was not sure what tricks he would have, just that he would come up with something." and making it its own sentence.
- Then formulate another strategy or another idea of how to work around the problems presented.
- This should be a question.
- “If I can lay out a plan, you can follow them
- You mixed singular (plan) and plural (them) here, you should pick one or the other. It should be either "“If I can lay out a plan, you can follow it" or "“If I can lay out plans, you can follow them".
- Although, I am still trying to fathom Skywarp's usefulness in this, but I am sure there is more to him than I initially see.”
- You missed a key place to say "more than meets the eye" there. ;)
- That's it for now!
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement